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6 Steps To Take When You Feel Insecure
If you find it difficult to stay confident on a regular basis, you are not alone. Everyone has insecurities and things they want to improve about themselves. However, if you continue to doubt yourself on a daily basis and find that you constantly feel insecure, it may be time to seek advice in order to relieve yourself of this negative cloud. If you suffer from anxiety and often feel vulnerable, give these six tips a try:
1. Change Your State of Mind
Modifying your attitude and perspective is never easy. The way you view your place in the world is often so ingrained, it requires significant and relentless effort to alter it. Frequently, insecurities stem from comparing yourself to others and fixating on your perceived faults. Instead, tell yourself you are a confident person and concentrate on having a positive mindset. It will be difficult at first, but with steady practice, these affirmations will become a welcome new habit. You have to remember that you are the only one with the power to choose how you portray yourself in your own mind.
2. Fake It Until You Make It
Yes, this really works. Believe in yourself even if you do not feel worthy at the moment. No one will notice your internal insecurities if you project self-assurance. In fact, after acting self-assured for a while, you eventually find yourself projecting true confidence. While you are pretending and imagining you have the skills to do something, you gain actual experience and tools necessary to become genuinely confident. Take note: nobody feels competent 100 percent of the time.
3. Write It Down
Take time and make a list of your best qualities. Surprisingly, people find it difficult to compliment themselves. It wouldn’t be a problem if a relative or friend asked us to list their best qualities, so it shouldn’t be hard to complete this task about ourselves. The list doesn’t even have to be extensive. Perhaps you love animals, you donate time to a worthy cause or you are a loyal friend. No matter what it is, just start putting your thoughts down on paper. Keep this list close by putting it in your backpack, briefcase or smartphone and feel free to add to it from time to time. Whenever you feel your insecurities emerging, take a moment and look at it. You may be surprised how much this can help.
4. Learn From Your Mistakes
There’s an old saying, “A mistake is only a mistake if you don’t learn from it.” Mistakes do not need to destroy your self-esteem. It is natural to be embarrassed and wish you had magical disappearing powers when you make a mistake, especially in front of others. However, you have to give yourself permission to learn from them, especially when it comes to relationships and interactions with others. Learn and grow instead of beating yourself up.
5. Watch the Company You Keep
Unfortunately, people are just downright mean sometimes and their actions and harsh words can fuel our insecurities. Recognize this destructive behavior and instead, surround yourself with people who want to help your personal growth. Seek out supportive friends and family, especially when you feel most vulnerable. This unconditional and positive support will remind you to be true to yourself.
6. Give back
When you get involved in charitable endeavors and help others who are less fortunate than you, it will put things in perspective and make you realize how lucky you truly are in life. At the same time, research suggests that consciously focusing on your blessings may have positive emotional and interpersonal benefits. Findings show those who focus on feeling grateful are 25 percent happier and more optimistic about the future. A London study of American adults also determined that the more people volunteered, the happier their disposition in life. Therefore, helping others also helps you.
It is hard to control other people’s behaviors or comments, especially in this age of technology where people tend to post their activities and most intimate thoughts on social media. Nowadays, because such public entries can reveal personal information, it is easy to encounter negative feedback, teasing or bullying. If you find yourself struggling with insecurity, give the suggestions above a try and consider suspending your social media, at least for a short time, to see if it helps your self-esteem.
If you continue to feel low self-confidence and you find that it is overtaking the majority of your thoughts, expert help and good information can put back on a path to a secure and satisfying life. Seek out a professional counselor to help guide you.
Audrey Beim holds two advanced degrees from major universities, including a Master’s Degree in Psychology. She has over 20 years of experience in the health, wellness, nutritional and fitness categories and has used her expertise to write articles for media outlets such as Linfield Media and Examiner.com.