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Zinnie's son, Stalker-Babe, and the Holyshrinks
March 16, 2005
11:37 am
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Worried_Dad
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Warning: Thread contains ranting...

I've been trying to reform a local psychotherapy cult that as far as I'm concerned, basically ruined my life.

One really infuriating thing about these folks, is that they think of themselves as lovey-dovey New Age peaceniks. And yet somehow, when they encounter partner abuse, they seem to come down on the side of the abuser.

They take issue with the angry and harried victims, while making endless excuses for the abusers. And they've just done it again with another couple--another victim bites the dust.

I can't imagine how it is that they have only been sued once. They lost, of course.

So I'm taking issue with them over their entire approach to "counseling." One of the most disgusting things about them is how they tolerate stalking, and make up excuses for that kind of behavior. It is almost as if they are unwilling to believe that people actually get hurt in these situations.

So I am taking them to task and confronting them with every bit of incompetent and unethical practice that I can remember--and a guy like me remembers pretty much everything. And their whole "save the stalkers" trip is just the last flippin' straw.

But the message I am getting from them is "We deny everything, we don't remember anything."

So Zin, if you're around, I wonder if you have seen the infamous letter that was sent on behalf of the Stalker Babe...I'm dying to know just what was said.

I think the most mind-bendingly horrifying thing about this whole situation so far has been my recent discovery that the holyshrinks have GROSSLY misrepresented their training and qualifications. As best I can tell, they have been IMPERSONATING psychotherapists for all these years! Imagine my dismay.

And I wrote them a heck of a lot of checks. I am feeling right now as if every penny I gave them was essentially stolen by means of fraud. And they act clueless. It's like they cannot imagine why I might ever think I had the right to be angry with them.

I feel as if I am running out of frindly and informal options with these people.

March 16, 2005
6:15 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Ah twinks,

It's basically too late to sue them. Of course the problems there can't possibly be addressed by a lovey dovey, touchy feely civil malpractice suit anyway.

But you know me well enough by now to know that it is my way to give people every last possible chance. It's not like they can hurt me anymore.

I am dying to know though, just exactly what they said to try to plead leniency for the Stalker Babe. Think about it; if that letter had swayed the judge, that maniac might still be loose on the streets.

March 17, 2005
6:58 am
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SweetAmanda
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*Sticking my head safely in the sand, hoping no one minds*

March 17, 2005
9:00 am
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Juanita
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WD

My heart aches for the pain the f*cking Holyshrinks have caused you. Your time for doing a law suit may have expired, but you certainly could form a support base for those others who are currently victims of their 'counseling'. Find anyone who listens to them and give them your earful. You are a wise and wonderful man. If they (who you find) are smart, they will be open to listen to you.

May I ask why you are still dabbling in this cult?? I worry for you in that aspect. Hopefully, I will assume you are taking the stance of any other religion - you take from this cult what you 'need' and leave the rest. The word 'cult' though just sends shivers down me. Really wish if this cult is so f*cked up that you would have the ability to end it all so no one would ever suffer at their hands again.

My thoughts and prayers go your way. I KNOW you are a smart, intelligent man, but built into my DNA is a Worry-Wart string - please be careful for I also hold a concern for your wounded heart.

And yes, please get out their to meet some wonderful ladies - go to a jazz club, or attend some other function that appeals to you. You may have put you want an intelligent woman who knows the various lobes of the brain, but you are also sooo much more. You love music & humor & lots of other things. What if the right woman matched you in every other way is out there, but doesn't have medical knowledge? She may be willing to learn from you.

I'm sorry - I have to run right now - I hope you know what I'm trying to communicate.

You are in my thoughts...

J

March 17, 2005
2:15 pm
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Juanita
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(sorry to side line WD...)

Hi Twinks!! Hope all is going well for you!

((( hugs )))
Juanita

March 18, 2005
12:28 am
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Zinnie
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Hi WD,

I thought I would try to catch up on some reading, but, my energy is waning - quickly at that...

I never "saw" the letter, but it was read aloud. I can see if my son can get a copy or has a copy of it.

Are you thinking of suing them for mal-practice? Personally? I think you have a case.

I'll post more over the weekend.

Much love,

Z.

March 18, 2005
5:55 am
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Hi Zinnie,

Well, technically, it's too late to sue them for malpractice, and in a way suin's too good fer em.

What I am doing is confronting them amd asking them to make some major flipping changes. Beginning with admitting error in my case, and ending with doing things differently from now on. So compiling examples, case by case of how they seem to come down on the side of the abuser, again and again and again. The hell of it is that they are oblivious. I don't even think they know what an "abusive relationship" is.

If I get no where with them then I suppose a report to the Department of Health is in order, for starters.

So yeah, if you can get a transcript of the letter it would be a concrete and undeniable example of what I'm talking about to offer them.

So is the stalker babe still in jail? What a maniac.

March 19, 2005
12:37 pm
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WD,

I am not sure if I missed the Who these people or organizations are that you describe here, WD. If they are an organization that any of us might access for our own personal use, I wish you could share that with us so that we would be aware of the hazards you have encountered.

As far as doing whatever in your power or ability to stop these criminals, I hope you do go forward with all the strength and vengenance you have. It is horrid enough for people to suffer abuse that is hardly recognized by the law, unless you are battered senseless, but to have a group act out intentionally and willfully to do further harm to victims is unbelievably horrendous.

I wish you well in your pursuit of stopping them. If there is any campaign or a web address that we can sign for a petition against this group, let us know. This type of action is not only moraaly unethical, but downright criminal.

I hope all else is going well, WD. Just a sidekick, I started my new job and back in the field while the body still has the strength to re enter the Long Term Care arena. They actually wanted me as an "experienced older nurse" to supervise (small place; staff RN with the super responsibilities, Ha). That is a first! Like I say, not too many grey haired nurses around (no, not grey yet). Bet you don't miss the hours and politics?

March 21, 2005
8:14 am
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Zinnie
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Hi Worried Dad,

Will post more later, as usual running out the door for some reason - this time work - have to pay those medical bills.

Anyway, I will be spending the Easter holiday with my son and his family and I will talk to him about the letter that was read at court and see if he has a copy or can request a copy.

Talk to you later - have a great day.

Much love,

Z.

March 21, 2005
12:48 pm
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eve
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WD,

this doesn't sound like there is much chance that they will cange. Remember? People will only change if they want to change.

No I think the thing to do is to get them away from further potential victims.

Take care,
Eve

March 25, 2005
5:50 pm
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Worried_Dad
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I don't like sexual harrassers. I don't like stalkers. I don't like batterers. I especially don't like child abusers.

And professionals who

March 25, 2005
5:50 pm
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I don't like sexual harrassers. I don't like stalkers. I don't like batterers. I especially don't like child abusers.

And professionals who

March 25, 2005
5:53 pm
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...professionals who,whether by ignorance, lack of skill or downright incompetence make those situations, worse, really really really burn my butt.

Does that make me a bad Christian?

March 30, 2005
10:59 pm
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The more I study this stituation the worse it gets.

I have just read a book Called "What To Do When Psychotherpay Goes Wrong" by Shirley J. Siegel, published by Stop Abuse By Couselors Publishing.

And Chapter eight opens by describing how four women clients sued a counselor in 1981. And that counselor was my counselor. All four women won out of court settlements.

My head is spinning.

March 30, 2005
11:08 pm
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I'm so sorry Worried Dad. That's awful.

And NO that does not make you a bad Christian. What it makes you is human. A person overwhelmed, whose faith has been shaken, and is in the midst of a trial that doesn't look to have a way out. But the good news is that this to shall pass. You can make a difference. Pave the way for the next that comes along.

Take the hurt and bad that is happening to you and use it to change the system that let's these jerks get a license saying they know something.

Don't lose your faith. Hang on for the full ride. You can do it.

March 31, 2005
6:42 am
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WD,

I am also truly sorry for what you have been thru. I do hear stories all of the time about other professionals in the counseling field who engage in ghastly, unethical practices and it makes me angry because they muddy the water for the rest of us who are trying to walk a tightrope.

As a counselor, you probably already know this, but there are different professions that are involved with counseling. You mentioned that the counselor you saw was a psychotherapist...if this was the case, I wanted to mention that psychotherapists are not typically regulated by licensure. Anyone call call himself/herself a psychotherapist. This kinda sucks for the public because it does not afford them much protection. I believe this is what happened in your situation.

Other professionals, e.g., social workers, professional counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists have to be licensed and adhere to rigid ethical standards of practice. I have to abide by a strict code of ethics in addition to having supervision after years of training.

WD, have you pursued legal action for yourself? I say "go for it" if you haven't already.

As a Christian, I wanted to say that I agree with MamaC about faith...Also, being a Christian is not about how "good" or "bad" we are. If that were the case, nobody would qualify to be a Christian, because nobody can be "good" all of the time. It is about what Jesus did for us, he took all of the payment for all of the bad things we've ever done or will do in the future. He paid the price (of his own death) to set us free from trying to be good enough.

So stop feeling guilty for feeling angry...you've been thru h***...these are your feelings and they are very valid.

Blessings,
CM

March 31, 2005
8:56 am
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Juanita
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WD -

I am sooo sorry for your hurt and pain. I can only imagine how bad your mind went reeling when you read your counselor's name in that book! Why are these "counselors" allowed to continue?? I wish they could be jailed for what they've done. They may not have taken up the 'stick' and beat the victims themselves, but they surely enabled and encouraged it to continue. Couldn't they be dubbed accomplices to a crime and serve some time? I know this would probably not happen (I can dream). Why aren't they required to be licensed? This is when the Government needs to get involved and mandate regulations. This is a field of practice that I firmly believe the people who claim they are professionals should be required to have massive schooling and education!

My thoughts and prayers are sent your way. You are not a bad Christian. Stop calling yourself that. You are human, and a wonderful one at that. Your faith is meant to give you support and strength, especially during those times of deep trouble when we are at our weakest. Like Footsteps in the Sand.... When a man reflected upon this life and saw at times two sets of footprints (God walking beside him), and times of only one set, that is when God carried him, during times of trouble or pain & he was at his weakest. God did not abandon him, he carried him.

You are a very good man WD. I wish there were more like you. The World would be a better, more caring, place. You have no idea how much or often I think of you & pray for you.

We can only do so much. You are not Superman, just like I am not Wonder Woman. No one can 'do' it all without times of rest for themselves. You need time to gain your strength back, vent your pain, & heal yourself ... giving is a very wonderful thing, but it also takes energy and spirit. Go easier on yourself. You ARE a positive influence on more people than you know. You make a difference in this World for the better.

Sending you positive vibes, so badly wanting to soothe your soul (wish I could do more).

Juanita

March 31, 2005
11:06 am
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Thanks for your support everyone.

I take back part of what I said in another thread. SOME abusive people can be helped. Actually I helped one. Those are the ones with CONSCIENCE who desperately want to be good people. Them, I can deal with.

Misbehaving shrinks really bug me though.

Coda_Mom,

Actually I am not a counselor. I am a nurse turned Reseacrh Scientist. My experiences with domestic violence inspired me to become well informed about the subject of partner abuse and well informed about the duty of therapists who encounter it.

What I am now is an advocate and a activist. I am actually considering getting a degree and license, though. Not because I would ever dream of charging people money for mental health advice. Also I just have no patience with the dark triad personality disordered. But if I were a licensed therapist, at least I could claim to have more authority when I say things like "He's beating you eh? That's abuse all right!"

In Washington state you actually must be licensed to do counseling or therapy, and the Dept. of Health does take complaints and reports of negligent practice by therapists, and does have some power over them.

I thought of sueing the Holyshrinks, if only to prove my point and get my message through their thick skulls. Unfortunately, what they did to me left me to paralyzed, that by the time I had gone through recovery and the process of discovery to find out just how badly they had treated me, the Statue of Limitations had run out.

Besides, the level of organzational and professional behavior here is so severe it cannot possibly be addressed by a touchy-feely civil lawsuit for malpractice.

I do want to share some of that story again, maybe you can tell me if I'm nuts. The Holys of course say I'm being oh so mean to them.

April 1, 2005
6:38 am
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WD,

I say "go for it" if you are thinking of working toward licensure. You are never too old or never too late, and being mad as h*** will provide the energy to do research papers 🙂

Plus, you have so much practical wisdom to be an effective helper.

CM

April 19, 2005
11:28 am
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Ok, get this bit holyshrinkery...

I am in a grievance process with these folks. These are the ones who think that stalking is a result of lack of "closure" in relationships.

So I wrote a letter complaining that the bizarre form of batterer treatment they gave "D" which they called "love training" turns out to be a completely loonie approach to the problem by contemporary standards, and is in fact, an approach likely to INCREASE the danger to a batterer's victims. Essentially "what were you thinking!?"

Their response: "No methodology works for everyone."

April 19, 2005
12:01 pm
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Very profound! And fresh! And insightful!

What did you see in these people again?

April 22, 2005
9:02 am
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jamaicanwife,

Well, I was young and naive.

Anyway, I am still contending with them. I want to try to get some stuff through their heads before they hold their annual week long "Human Relations Laboratory," which I have fondly come to know as the "Sexual Harrasment Festival." It is a lively and heartwarming event where stalkers can get to know their future victims. I think they should leave that part out.

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