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WOW what a ride!!!!
August 6, 2005
6:31 am
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gaining_ground
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September 24, 2010
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I have just gotten off the hugest rollercoaster ride!!! My head is still spinning - but I am finding real balance for the first time ever!

I summed up the gist of my journey in the following poem; I am LOVING the feeling of excitement about my future - not that I am by any means 'through' the situation - but that I no longer live scared!!! What a breakthrough! Just wanted to throw some warm-fuzzies out there to you all!!! Keep Smiling!!!

Love G-G!

NEW DREAMS…..

There are good days and bad days; and days in between
As I gather the shards of the life that ‘has been’.

Friends come around and offer a hand
But my pride says “I’m fine thanks…they won’t understand…”
Consumed by the loneliness, swallowed in shame
My fingers sliced open by shattered dreams yet again.

I wish I could leave it all - right where it lays
But I’m ‘defined’ by the pain - and I’m still in ‘the haze’.
I fight for my bearings; the balance of ‘being’
Groping for answers in all that I’m seeing.

My prayers take on honesty; the lies start to fade
And I realise that THIS pain has already been ‘paid’.
My Jesus has carried the pain of my past
Before yet I knew Him - and I surrender, at last.

And like a bird that is learning to fly, tentative steps; wings lifted high
- I wait for the breeze of His Spirit to flow
Knowing He will hold what I dare to ‘let go!’

And slowly – but surely the haze starts to lift;
and I realise again that my life is God’s gift
I’m defined by the blood of my Jesus, my King;
not my ‘past’ – nor my ‘present’
Nor the stains of my sin…
His blood runs through me and as I open each door;
I am cleansed and renewed
And so eager for more!

This journey – so pained, He is turning around
I will fear NO evil - for I have been ‘found’!

Healed from ‘broken’
To ‘tenderhearted’
Now I’m looking to Him - to complete what He started!
I know that my future is safe in His hands;
for good – not for evil, my new hope; His plans!
And I’m rising back out of the ashes of pain,
secure in my Lord - His glory; my gain!
Now please help me Jesus in all I’ve been through,
To spend the rest of my days bringing glory to You!

Now through the
good days, the bad days;
and the days in-between
I’m in the arms of my Father - with so many
new dreams!

**************************

August 6, 2005
3:03 pm
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on my way
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gg...

I really love this..it cements my heart, firms up my foundation in JC..thanks. I especially like this phrase:

"And like a bird that is learning to fly, tentative steps; wings lifted high - I wait for the breeze of His Spirit to flow Knowing He will hold what I dare to ‘let go!’"

because it helps to confirm a dream I had a few weeks ago and what it meant.

Thanks for sharing!!
omw

August 6, 2005
10:09 pm
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Rasputin
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GG,

You do rock!!! What a pretty and romatic poem.

Let me 1st congratulate you for your independence from being coded. What a freedom. Right?

I am sure it was not easy step. I know many people who are hooked up in unhealthy relationships and they are afraid to quit coz they do NOT believe that God has the right person for them.

So, that took so much bravery from your part. I am so proud of you! I anticipate a literary future for you! Have you ever thought of publishing your work? It is piece of art!

~Love, RAS~

August 7, 2005
5:07 am
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gaining_ground
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September 24, 2010
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(Blushing) - Thanks so much for your encouragement! It would be so great if 'He' used this to also help others on the road.......or rollercoaster!!!

I am currently separated from my husband who 'is' NPD-personified.

It's been like walking on hot coals; trying to keep my heart 'right' - flimsy boundaries erect while he hit them with sledgehammers.....landing flat on my face to find his foot on the back of my neck.....crying out to God - being picked back up by His mighty hand, dusted off, more 'gunk' washed off again - then back to trying to keep my heart 'right' again! This is a cycle that a while back became my life!!! Now, thankfully, I am eating 'less dirt' - feeling sunshine on my face, and instead of becoming bitter; am becoming BETTER!

So much has happened - but I AM 'Gaining-Ground' now! It is hard seeing my husband each Sunday for supervised access (which I have to supervise - another long story!)for his visits to see the children. I know there is much yet to do and a long way to go; but I am SO thankful to the love, support and prayers of those around me...AND OF THIS WEBSITE AND YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON IT!

It has been SUCH an encouragement to me to be able to tune in and learn so much from YOU ALL!

What you say here makes SUCH a difference! It's like ripples in a pond; you will never know just how far your touch reaches into others'lives!!!

Thanks - and God Bless you all!
Have a wonderful week!
xx G-G xx

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