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Worried_Dad’s Embassy
July 6, 2006
11:46 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Hi Lollipop,

The great thing about this forum is that I have things I can accomplish here, but I have nothing to prove here. Zip. Zero. Z.E.R.O.

There are a lot of things that I do not understand about myself.

And there are some things that I do understand about myself, and if you want to relate to me in a respectful manner, then I ask you to respect those little bits of self knowledge that I represent to you.

I will go farther than that and say that here, in this thread, if a person wants me to relate to them at all, then there are some agreements that they need to make and keep with me. There are understandings that anyone who posts on this thread will just have to "take as read and as a given" if they want me to work with them.

UNDERSTANDING # 1

This board is important to me, and adds to my quality of life, and is a place where I continue to learn to be a smarter, wiser, better, healthier, and happier person.

Nevertheless, AAC is a very, very, very small part of my life. I don't read every thread, I don't read every post, and I do not memorize every post that I do read. Of the posts that I do read, I do not read each one completely.

My participation here is limited, and I have the right to decide what those limits are.

UNDERSTANDING # 2.

It is true that I do not have complete self-knowledge. And my emotions frequently interfere with my ability to express myself.

My memory is not perfect and my knowledge is not perfect, so it is understandable that I will sometimes express opinions that are incorrect.

Nevertheless, in this place, on this website, my discipline is to be honest.

Specifically, I will not ever tell a lie here. I will never try to decieve anyone.

I make errors and am mistaken lots of the time. Oops, I guess I am not God.

I welcome people correcting me regarding my ignorance or my bad memory, or just my plain damnfoolery. In fact, they ought to.

Outside of this thread, people can say whatever they want.

But this thread is my sacred space, a thread where I am going to declare some limits and boundaries for what I personally expect as far as civilized behavior towards me goes.

So Lollip, if you or anyone wants to engage me here, they will have to engage me with acceptance of:

UNDERSTANDING # 2.

KNOW ME PEOPLE: I DO NOT TELL LIES. I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER ATTEMPT TO DECIEVE ANYONE HERE IN ANY WAY.

I will explain one last time. I have NOTHING to gain from decieving anyone here at AAC, and I stand to gain much by being as honest and transparent with you as I can manage. That's the enlightened self interest angle.

The CHARACTER angle is simply this. I like telling the truth, and I don't like being dishonest. It's as simple as that.

If someone here is not prepared to accept that UNDERSTANDING and act as if it is true while communicating with me in this thread, then I would prefer that they not even bother knocking on the door of this embassy.

I am happy to engage people about annoying or problematic aspects of my personality, my style of communication or my emotional life.

But if you want to engage me here in this embassy, then you have to have a coin, and the coin that gets you in is the smallest shred of respect.

HELLO PEOPLE: Aproach me with any issue that you like. But on this thread, approach me with the explicit and implicit understanding that I am BUSTING MY ASS to be honest with you. Otherwise, do not approach me at all.

A restatement: I have ZERO energy to spend explaining to people that I am an honest person. Anyone who attempts to question my honesty is diverting my attention and energy away from subjects that are more useful and valuable to me. And they are being disrespectful to me.

My request to everyone here: Assume that I am an honest person, and act as if you understand and believe that I am an honest person, or just stay the heck away from me. PArticularly on this thread.

July 7, 2006
12:11 am
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Worried_Dad
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One last comment for Lollipop,

Lolli,

Your last post had a couple of "if I'm wrong" clauses. Yes, that post contained several enormous errors.

Too many errors to correct here right now. One tiny error: the idea that I have made a heartfelt post recently. Because I woke up and read a post from Juanita, that upset me, I have not had a heartfelt moment all day. Nope, today, it's WD the hardass.

Related error: that I think I am or want to bee seen as a "nice guy." I am basically a decent human being, with all kinds of good qualities, but "niceness" is not foremost among those qualities. I am sure that I am a Good Man. But it would be a huge error to mistake me for a "nice guy."

The biggest error is that you did not take off your shoes before you came into my embassy.

I believe that I can have a conversation with Juanita that will help you see the errors you made without us having to talk about them. Your post interrupted that conversation.

For the purposes of THIS thread, I will give you a piece of technology. Know that if you find yourself believeing that I have been dishonest, or believing and acting on ideas that seem to result from my being dishonest, that you are acting on a belkeif in something that just is not true. The way to understand me is to reconcile your knowledge of my behavior with the certainty that I have told the truth, to the very best of my ability. If you spend one second acting on any idea which includes as a premise that I have attempted to decieve, then you will rapidly make error on top of error.

July 7, 2006
3:09 am
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sewunique
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Why do I feel confused here?

Lolli, WD posted on the WD thread to Junaita first. Then here.

Or sometimes I just don't get it?

July 7, 2006
9:23 am
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sewunique
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Juanita,

If I may address you on this thread? I wil try to keep it short, but kind. I hope you can take it in the heart and manner it is intended.

I see you have a big heart and are kind and compassionate. I understand you have a history of knowing WD as others here for quite some time.

It was not until after WD and I had several threads here to sort some issues out that I archived some old threads. I now see and understand a bit more of past conversattions between you and WD where the cyber story of cyber children etc occurred.

So I can understand more easily your frustration at what you say and how you say it to WD and what transpires as an aftermath. I can understand perhaps why you feel and write to WD as you do, with lengthy admirations.

You repeatedly tell me WD backs off to certain feelings of conversation. Yes, and I see he is really talking personal inverntory for reflection and growth as he has stated.

Yet I have been confused when you address ME this concern and yet YOU continue in this fashion to write. I post, then I see you follow. It has been uncanny. I have rather ignored addressing it with posting back to you about it. I did make one attempt, when I opened a thread addressed specifically to your name, in trying to share my thoughts.

Now I see you are bitter the last two days by your postings. Each of your postings have been addressed back to you from WD. Yet you say you have been ignored? It does not make sense, unless you are displacing expectations onto WD?

I am trying to share this with you woman to woman. I am trying to share with you how I see it and my uncomfortableness with what you have said. I feel at times you are in competition with me. There is no competition for attention here. We are each individuals and the focus should remain on our selves as the guidelines say. Yet I feel at times when I post, you are right behind me, explaining how WD feels or reacts to cetain content. You project what his next move will be or why he is not posting. THAT makes me feel uncomfortable for obvious reasons. So, I avoid posting until later. It has happened a few times, which makes me again; feel uncomfortable.

I am not sure if this came out or reads well what I am trying to share. But after many months of this, I felt I would make one attempt.

In the future, I would appreciated it if you would not direct me how a poster or WD feels or reacts to cetain writing styles,feelings or expressions and then continue to do the same yourself. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to say it kindly.

Peace,

Sew

July 7, 2006
10:23 am
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WD,

Not to ignore you here, or to interrrupt the flow of things here, but I was not exactly sure where to post to Juanita.

Interesting thread here. I give you credit, you are further ahead in self discovery and actualization than I am! Then again, maybe not, my style is just different than yours (great, hey?)

I just caught wind of this tidbit;

"I learned something from SewUnique recently. She reminded me of a lesson that I thought I had already learned, but which, in truth, I am nowhere near the level of Mastery of."

Curious, what is that?

Isn't it interesting how we when share things with others, at times unknowingly, we discover what the result is to others?

Sew

July 7, 2006
11:52 pm
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Sew,

Pardon me if I sought to ease your mind when you kept posting to WD on his thread with basic comments like "where did you go?". He seemed to disappear after a post I wrote. I felt bad, like he disappeared because of me. That is the reason I posted directly to you saying that he disappeared PROBABLY b/c of me, & the reason for that was he seems uncomfortable when presented with compliments. Excuse me for seeking to lay my own perceived guilt in the matter forth & possibly give reason for his disappearance as not you, but me. You also expressed a "crush" for WD, for which you requested others not to comment on. I therefore, make the exact same comment/request to you. What is between, or not between, WD & I is for us to work out. I respected your wish, please respect mine.

WD,

I simply cannot get over all this hullabaloo over the simple expression that after many posts to you over a course of (months) time that I felt hurt at being (I felt) ignored. It is as simple as coming forth with an honest statement. Pardon me for thinking we were somewhat friendly. You have made it utterly and completely clear to thick headed me just how much exactly compliments or supportive praise from me makes you uncomfortable. I sought to nuture a side of you I felt was abused and abandoned by others. I thought that my supportive way may make a difference to you & show you a 'new' or 'different' kind of person than what you are used to. What a f*'d up person I am.

You attack me and use the terms "problematic" and
"hostage trip" on me.... When have I EVER uttered an unkind or mean spirited thing to you? Reaching out and trying to grow in being able to express myself about a hurt is problematic? Thank you for reinforcing that (I) should remain silent.... it is a trait a observed for many years within my marriage. "Hostage trip"? You anger me so much with that. Fine. You want to put me into that light? Go right ahead. Again I say to you, when have I EVER uttered an unkind, mean spirited, or non-supportive word to you?

What I expected from you is no more than I tend to expect from anyone else, occassional common courtesy. Again, I felt I had posted to you a number of times over the past months without a response. I saw you respond to others. I am not jealous as Sew thinks. I thought you were choosing to avoid me, & that hurt. My interpretions of events are tinged and analyzed with my life experiences just as yours are.

I simply cannot believe you think that after all these years here & my consistency in posting to you, that you think ... "In my opinion, for a person to feel "ignored" by someone they only know as an anonymous, online contact and then to have hard feelings about that is problematic" Is it so impossible to believe that someone can care about someone else whom they don't know by real name? If a rose were called by any other name, would it still not smell as sweet? what the hell does a name have to do with caring about someone?

I am tired & exhausted right now. Amazed still at how something so simple as coming forth and voicing a simple emotion such as feeling hurt can lead to all this. Yes, I know you have a lot going on in your life. You never replied to my question about your sweetie. It was a direct question - the kind you say you prefer & respond to. I defined that as simply you choose not to reply rather than posting a something like 'thanks for inquiring Juanita, I am just not ready to speak about that yet.' whatever. common courtesy is old fashioned any way. You were probably tired & busy & just missed it.... I can excuse away anything ~ I'm a pro, don't ya know?

Whatever, I'm tired & irritable right now. You probably missed my post on another thread that my spouse still indicates that 'if I could just get over my emotional thing' then he's still interested in 'kink' (you know what I mean).

I am tired of emotions being nothing more than a 'thing' to multiple people.

Excuse me for being human. I am trying damn hard to stop.

I don't know if my post makes sense at this point, I'm not proof reading it as it has already taken me a lengthy time to compose it, I'm going to bed.

July 8, 2006
12:35 am
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Juanita,

Please, you do not have to ease my mind about WD or anyone. This was my point. It inferiates me to think you have to excuse someone else's behavor with your presumptions to me.

Secondly, I have never interferred with any postings between you and WD, have I? You are getting very defensive and I do not deserve it and did nothing to entice your behavior.

I asked for the community not to comment, over one humdred people here respected that request and respected me on that request. But you did not respect that nor respect me, it was not necessary to bring up about the "crush'. You broke the rules; over stepped my boundaries.

Whenever you have popped in after I have posted, I have kept silent. But this last post of yours smacks of jealousy and anger. I am a single woman and I beleive am acting in a respectful manner of friendship to WD. There is no need to diseminate and diasect and judge my posts.

I would rather not post with you any longer until you calm down and get a grip on things. No need to post to me after the next two hours here as I shut sown my computer while I fly overseas for awhile.

Sew

July 8, 2006
12:43 am
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Juanita

Now that I have read your last post here to WD, I ask that YOU respectfully keep MY name OUT of your posting to WD. Fair enough?

If you ask that I stay out of your posts to WD, which I believe I have never interferred (god knows WHY should I?) then keep my name out of your posts to WD. Sheesh!

Just stay out of my face, jaunita.

July 8, 2006
5:44 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hey, no fighting in the embassy.

July 8, 2006
6:14 am
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Naw, just stating strong boundaries, (again), respectfully, Sir!

July 8, 2006
6:18 am
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sewunique
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uh...oh

July 8, 2006
7:06 am
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Juanita,

First, I am giving you an apology for not only my harshness, but for upsetting you.

Secondly, I will find a better and kinder way next time to express to you what is bothering me.

This is not my style, nor have I ever had a disagreement over such a trivial issue making it into something so big. Well, I can be dramatic at times, but really, I do not have green eyes, they are blue. In cases of these, I have always just walked away and let it go. And most importantly, it is all a matter of perspective.

I believe apologies should be short and sweet (as I usually can be) and from the heart (which this is). So again, I am sorry for the harsh words and hurting you.

With caring for an old friend,

Sew

July 8, 2006
9:47 am
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on my way
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WD...To whom much is given, much is required...

to me it looks as if several here on aac do look to you with much respect, feeling, and direction. =)

July 8, 2006
12:41 pm
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twinks,

I don't know about you, but I have a very full life. So at 3 in the morning, when I remembered to turn off my computer, I was unhappy to see so much...smoke here. And I didn't feel like essaying on it, just expressing my desire.

I don't mind people contending with me personally on this thread, but I don't want it to turn into a smokey off topic thread. And I do desire a certain quality of communication here.

Regarding your comments to me way back when.

If I recall correctly, the ideas and language you employed during that episode resulted in a prolonged absence for you here.

July 8, 2006
1:53 pm
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WD,

I was going to leave this whole thing alone and let you have the final say....which I am still prepared to do... however, I would like to say that I have taken the liberty over the past couple of days to go through previous threads as far back as 1 1/2 years ago to see for myself if, in fact, I had jumped the gun in my post to you.

I felt it was my responsiblity, as a mature adult, and a member of this community to do my homework and if I found that I was wrong, then I should come back here and apologize to you.

What I have found is that you seem to be "misunderstood" A LOT.

I read a book not so long ago called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It was a great book that spoke of intuition and it being nature's alarm system.... and how we, as humans, and women especially, would benefit greatly and reduce suffering immensely if only we would listen to that "gut feeling" instead of pushing it aside for fear of seeming dramatic.

After reading some of the things I have read here and in other threads.....I am going to take his advice and follow my instinct on this one.

Good luck to you WD...and everyone you encounter.

July 8, 2006
3:07 pm
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Hi Lolli,

Actually, I don't have much experience of feeling "misunderstood" outside of this place. In the real world there is opportunity for much richer and more sustained interactions, in a wide variety of contexts, that help people know each other better.

Every human being is vast and exceedingly complex. The information content in your head right now, which changes every few milliseconds, is so large that it would take hundreds of years to transmit it via...a USB cable for example.

In other words, it is virtually impossible to really "know" anyone or to really "understand" a person. We are just too complex. All we can do is sort of give each other little haiku sketches of who and what we really are. Being "misunderstood" is really the condition of every human being.

It is also true that human beings perceive largely through the process of transference and projection. We try to make sense of the world and of the people in it by referring to things that exist mainly inside of our own minds.

So "misunderstanding" is also the eternal condition of every human being.

People who express strong opinions, and who affect us emotionally, particularly trigger our tendency to perceive in terms of transference and projection.

That problem is complicated when we are not careful in our observation of facts, and we allow ourselves to believe that something is true, when it really isn't.

We can't turn off the parts of us that use projection and transference, and we cannot always have our facts right.

But what we can do is to work hard to make sure we have our facts straight, and to go the extra mile to see if what we are thinking about a person is really true.

Trouble occurs when we act as if our ideas about a person are the actual, literal truth, and then go on to act on those ideas, without having our facts straight, and without engaging the person who we are projecting upon to get their side of things.

That's where I occasionally get into trouble here. Not with most, just with a few people.

A few people make the mistake of making up wacky theories in their heads about me, and supporting those theories with "facts" and "events" that just are not true or supportable by the record of threads.

I have spent quite a bit of time teaching women (and men) how to recognize dangerous relationships, and I acknowledge the value of intuition, and usually encourage people to pay attention to what their "gut" says.

You and I have never had much to say to each other, particularly gotten along here, agreed much, or especially liked each other, and that is ok. If your "gut" tells you to avoid me, then I think that following your instinct will help each of us to have less anxiety and more serenity.

But intuition is a poor substitute for actual knowledge.

You, for example, play fast and loose with facts, have felt free to draw unpleasant conclusions about me based on falsehood, and you feel free to act as if the strange ideas in your head are actually me. And by your metioning DeBecker's book in reference to me, you engage in a kind of left-handed slander of me.

I would have to check the threads, check my facts to be sure, but my subjective experience is that in relationship to me, you have consistently been a disrespectful person.

I do not need to rely on my intuition to know that about you, and I understand that in the real world, those behaviors would make you a hazardous (in terms of peace of mind) person to have around until you developed some conscience about the consequences of that kind of behavior and developed some self-discipline and chose to work on that behavior.

Fortunately, in this anonymous forum, nobody can possibly pose a hazard to or harm anyone.

July 8, 2006
3:13 pm
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Hi twinks,

Well, maybe I was thinking of someone else who was banned from the group. My mistake.

Tell you what.

Other people, including the SC, took you to task for the attacking behavior you engaged in at that time, and it was pointed out to you by the SC that those posts by you constituted another iteration of a pattern of irrational and nasty behavior by you.

So if you have not renounced and feel conscience about the things you said then, I think it would be best if you and I did not interact here on this forum.

July 8, 2006
3:33 pm
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WD....

You said: "... but my subjective experience is that in relationship to me, you have consistently been a disrespectful person."

and

"I do not need to rely on my intuition to know that about you, and I understand that in the real world, those behaviors would make you a hazardous (in terms of peace of mind) person to have around ...."

*****

I have found, WD, that the only people in my life, or in cyberspace, that feel that way about me....are the spades...that I have called as such.

The last word is now....all yours.

July 8, 2006
3:41 pm
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Twinks,

Well then, I think it would instructive for you to start a thread entitled "Twinks refutes the SC" and put the quotes in there.

Twinks, I am not quite the pushover that I was during your last nasty outburst. I don't feel a need to engage you in argument, or to persuade you of anything at all.

So I'm just going to tell you what I think feel and want.

My experience of you Twinks, is that you simply have zero respect for the guidelines of this site, and that frequently function as a troll here.

Emotionally, you function inside me as a profoundly disrespectful, sarcastic, mean and nasty person. Your energy is toxic to me.

I don't like you twinks, and until you choose to engage me in a respectful manner, I wish you would just leave me alone.

July 8, 2006
8:50 pm
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Well, that went pretty well, didn’t it.

Two threads later, we have some clear understandings between me and at least three people.

One person, Sew, decided to resolve disagreements and misunderstandings with me by engaging at a deeper emotional and intellectual level and by reviewing facts about our relationship. It took quite a bit of hard work on both our parts. That paid off for us.

Two people decided not to go that route, and popped in for a bit of thread hijacking.

One person returned to remind me of her earlier assertion that it must have been my fault that my child was abducted by a battering, man-slaughtering, child abusing psychopath.

The other person interrupted a piece of relationship maintenance to tell me that I was a liar, and probably a batterer or rapist, and let me know that the only people who ever experience her as being factually incorrect or disrespectful are batterers or rapists.

In two cases, we did not achieve better understandings, but at least we achieved clarity and recognized that we just don’t like each other or have much to say to each other. I count that as three successes in a row. Technically.

In truth, I feel like I have just been roughed up by a couple of cyber-stalkers. I wish I could just let that kind of thing roll off of my back and laugh it off, but the emotional impact of what feels to me like a bizarre random attacks has really made it hard to concentrate on the material I had hoped to address today.

Specifically, I want to get back to trying to improve my relationship with Juanita.

I just need to regain my composure first.

July 8, 2006
9:35 pm
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It is hard to deal with isn't it? Even through the internet, even though we don't KNOW these people personally, it still reaches inside. And it aggravates, hurts, etc...and all anyone is left with are words and the feelings from those words. I think everyone must be careful, as we don't REALLY know the person we are speaking with...and just because a computer monitor and many miles are inbetween doesn't mean that words don't still hurt. Everyone should be more careful...

and, Twinks...i do like you, and I like your spirit from 'other' threads, but not with WD. And it isn't that i am taking up for him or anyone...I am statingmy belief that what ever transpired years ago...again, through WORDS here on aac, people DO change...and people DO grow, and people DO learn.

July 8, 2006
10:52 pm
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Hi Juanita,

Well, my little four point reaction to you on the other thread was snappy and abrupt and not written while I was in the best of moods. Sorry about that.

Let me try to explain myself a little more.

I felt kind of blindsided by your expression of hurt and anger. As I said, I had no idea what you were talking about, and I did not have an experience of “ignoring” you. Really, I wasn’t trying to ignore you.

The following comments felt to me like hostage-taking: with you being the hostage, not me.

“Perhaps I need to embrace my bitchiness and stop exercising such control over my words & emotions.”

“I'm a stupid, freaking nice, person. I genuinely care about people. Need to break that habit.”

At the time I experienced as a kind of “you have wronged me and therefore I shall be scarred for life and transform into a mean person” or something like that.

Now that I think about it, I guess you don’t seem like the person to intentionally and with manipulative intent do the hostage-taking maneuver.

The hostage taking thing? I take it back. I take it back and I apologize.

And actually, I would rather see you loudly expressing hurt and anger than just being all nicey-nice all the time. You have explained what that has accomplished in your marriage—namely that you have become sort of a...I don’t know, a doormat or something.

You don’t have to be that way with me, and I would rather you didn't.

July 8, 2006
11:55 pm
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I am a man, Juanita.

Like many men, I am relatively insensitive to many subtleties of emotional communication and social nuance. I just don’t see them, or hear them, or feel them, and certainly have very little idea how I “am supposed” to respond to them. Especially here on the Web, where so much is filtered out and condensed to formatted lines of text. It is hard to be myself here and even harder to be my Best Self here.

For Women, especially women like you, these nuances and subtleties are not subtle at all, and it is natural for you to be frustrated in your attempts to communicate with me and relate to me.

Juanita, I do not see anything wrong with you being a warm and caring person and offering sympathy or support for me, or for anyone here.

And I can sympathize with you feeling hurt that I have not responded to you in the way that you wish I would.

Juanita, I like you and don’t want to hurt your feelings.

And I am a very different person than you. When I offer support to someone here I do not have the slightest expectation of a response from them, and like many people I automatically assume that everyone is like me.

I appreciate when people show me compassion, but the thing about the most horrible episodes in my life is: Those things are in the PAST. It is easier for me to hear “ouch, that had to hurt WD,” or just “bummer, dude” than eloquent, effusive offerings of sympathy. Understanding is actually more valuable to me than sympathy at this point.

When people offer sympathy in response to my descriptions of painful events from my past, I generally try to say “thanks for the support, guys,” but I don’t feel like I need to write a thank you letter to each person.

As long as people aren’t chewing me out for no good reason or accusing me of things I didn’t do, then I really don’t require much from people here. I expect to receive and I try to offer civility, but I do not expect to receive, nor do I expect people to offer m “love” here. Even mere friendship is a kind of dubious proposition in an anonymous environment like this.

So Juanita, please just let me be me, and don’t take it personally when I don’t respond the way you want me to. That makes it hard for us to engage each other on issues where there is actual content.

July 8, 2006
11:59 pm
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Worried_Dad
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For example, Juanita:

you may have noticed that I do engage you when you talk about real events in your life. The reason I like your last two posts better than the previous “nice” posts is that they seem a lot more real and vital. Let me say why that seems true to me.

When a person has been abused for a long time, they often develop a sense of helplessness. Sometimes they shrink away and become almost invisible. They try to get along.

But in recovery from abuse, a victim first figures out what is happening to her, learns to name and identify the specific behaviors, and develops a hatred for that kind of treatment. And in a healthy recovery process, a woman will start to get angry. One thing that sometimes happens in recovery is that a woman will become very sensitive to the possibility of abuse—easily triggered. You start seeing it everywhere. That’s called the principle of correspondence where we begin to see what is happening with us in many places outside of us.

So I think you speaking up about things that are bugging you, and being able to express anger about it is actually, a good sign, even if I have to bear the brunt of it today.

Juanita, you have said that you know being ignored is a trigger for you. And it seems like you are getting to a place with your husband where you are willing to take less and less from him. That means you are probably going to be seeing “ignoring” behavior everywhere, and probably going to be getting angry about it. That can be a good thing.

Your husband has all kinds of obligations to you including the obligation to be sensitive to your needs and to learn what those needs are, and to actually meet some of those needs.

Please remember that I am not your husband.

Just let me be ME.

July 9, 2006
5:57 am
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Hi twinks,

You presume to read my mind Twinks, when you do not even do the courtesy of reading very carefully the posts you criticize.

I am sorry that you have this problem, but your problem ought not to impinge on the peace and well being of others here on this board.

Remember I have described some guidelines for communicating with me, particularly in this thread, such as respecting the guidelines of this site?

You have in no way attempted to offer constructive feedback to me twinks.

Because of your inability to communicate in a repectful way I have you, especially you, twinks, to back off. I have asked you twice now twinks.

Now I am very much feeling stalked by you.

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