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Worried_Dad’s Embassy
July 3, 2006
7:16 pm
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Worried_Dad
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I create this thread for the purpose of helping the AAC community know me better, and to help me know you better. I want to resolve misunderstandings with me and about me, and to learn to function better here.

One of my motives for creating this thread is that I don’t like being misunderstood. Being misunderstood is part of the Human Condition.

This site has a fair amount of turnover, and I notice that while there is a small group of AAC posters who know my story and who more or less “get” me, with turnover, new people come who don’t really know me, my background story, my values, goals, or methods.

So I find myself trying to explain myself more often than I like. I frequently ask “don’t you know me by now?” Which is silly. How could anyone here “know me” if they have not “experienced” me? Particularly if they have only experienced me in my latter, debating period.

Gee, I think I have been visiting this site on a regular basis for about five years. At first, I was just a wreck, and I needed to drink deeply from the support and love and advice I found here. As my emotional life became steadier, I found that I was able to offer some things from my experience and from my studies as well.

I like to think, and I have received feedback to the effect that sometimes I do good here.

And it is also true that I have, without question, achieved some mighty acts of colossal stupidity here. What if the Washington Monument were made of Stupidity, instead of Limestone? That’s me, sometimes. More often than I would like, actually. A lot more often than I would like. Like, you know, a heck of a lot more often than I would like.

I am a human being. I have all the normal Human frailties and weaknesses and drives and motives.

Ignorance. Vanity and Pride. Avarice. Sloth. Wrath. Even Lust, sometimes. Well, lust is not per-se a deadly sin, but I had to include it for tradition’s sake.

Probably Cowardice, Impulsiveness, and a tendency to speak without considering the possible impact of what I will say are among my worst traits. My emotion computer works slowly.

I understand that I have a lot to learn and many skills to work on before I can consider myself to be anything like “finished” as a Human Being. At the rate I am going, I am confident that I can accomplish that in about seven or eight hundred years.

Still, though, I am a decent human being. I am an intelligent, well-intended, and sometimes wise person who believes in the mission of this site, and I want my participation here to support the mission of this site.

And I also have my own peculiar history, education, values, ways of thinking, and ways of drawing conclusions, and I want that to be ok too.

And I have a very natural, human desire to be known and understood.

My hope is that this thread could be a place where people who wonder “where I am coming from” when I post on other threads could find good reference material.

I hope to address some of the most annoying or controversial things about me first.

By Clearing the Air on those matters, I hope to free up time and energy so that folks here can actually communicate wand work with me at the level of heart and in a scholarly manner, rather than have to second guess my motives.

Transparency and honesty and sincerity are what I hope to achieve here.

Go ahead and take me on if I need it. But I do want to get some things off my chest.

July 3, 2006
7:17 pm
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My background.

My Grandma was…a hillbilly I guess. At age six, she was the one who put meat on her family table, that meat consisting of varmints. Squirrels, porcupines and rats. Can you imagine this raggedy little barefoot girl with a 22 rifle roaming the hills?

Granddad was a California borax miner, and a drunken wife beater who raped all of his children, boys and girls, on a regular basis. He taught the oldest boy to rape the other children.

My Mom, especially, suffered horribly. She told me that he not only beat her and raped her, but also would stick a rifle up her vagina and describe how one day he was going to pull the trigger and splatter her brains all over the room.

That kind of thing did not sit too well with Grandma. Grandma had had enough one day, and she waited for Granddad to come home in his typical drunken, violent mood. She waited with a shotgun and was all set to blow his fool head off. He just didn’t come home that night—he was passed out drunk somewhere, so he got to keep his head.

I swear to God, if I knew where my Grandfather was buried, I would dig the son of a bitch up and slap his face.

Anyway, Grandma seized the moment, loaded all the kids up in the car, and left the hills, made it down to the city, started a new life.

My Mom was a waitress, who looked like a supermodel. Real smart, tough gal with a huge heart. In 1961, she and her friend went cruising for sailors to pick up. Mom’s friend had set her up with a double blind date with a sailor, who chickened out at the last minute. My Dad volunteered to take the scared-of-girls sailor’s place so that his buddy could still keep his double date, and that is how my parent met.

Daddy was a cracker, and a sailor. He went to technical school, never college, and managed to use that and his Navy training to become an “engineer” without an engineering degree. He ended up working for NASA. He installed things in rockets, for a while. Once he banged his head while installing something and some of my Dad’s blood was shot into orbit. He used to bring home samples of the space monkey food for me to try. I remember asking him how the space monkeys would get back down and him sadly telling me that these particular monkeys didn’t get to ever come back. I guess they are still up there.

I was born in Alabama, in December of 1961. Much of my early life is from the Deep South in the sixties and early seventies. Lot’s of ignorance and racially motivated violence. God help me, but my own mother founded an organization of women dedicated to defeating the Equal Rights Amendment.

I ended up being sort of a NASA brat, and have lived in England, Ecuador, and here in the States in Florida, Maryland, California, Washington, and Alaska, with brief residencies in New York and Chicago.

I don’t have a Southern accent, except when I sing sometimes.

I would have probably ended up a screwed up Southerner, except that my Mom’s wanderlust and craziness led her to basically kidnap us kids and drag us up to Alaska. It took me a long time to forgive her for separating me from my Dad, but it turned out to be a good thing for us…the culture of the South just would not have supported me becoming…what I am today. I probably would have ended up becoming a wife beating hick. Shudder.

July 3, 2006
7:17 pm
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More Background…

It was Florida, in July of 1968 …I had two library cards, and would ride home from school with my bike basket overflowing with books. I was a latchkey kid with lots of books. God, it was hot. Snakes everywhere, the smell of the pine trees. The smell of the beach. Little crabs in the trees. My hobby was stage magic.

But that day, I realized that I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to understand things and make things. Almost exactly one year later, I knew that I wanted to be some kind of doctor, to learn and teach things about medicine and healing.

I think what really put me on my current course was good schools. First, in Ecuador, my 3rd and 4th grade were spent in an “experimental” school, that gave kids a lot of freedom to design their own classes. The only mandatory classes were Spanish, PE, and Art. So of course, my class schedule looked like…Science…PE…Science… Spanish…Art…Science…Science…Science…and Science…

I was kind of a weird little boy, I guess. My folks were great. For a while, they always made one room in the house reserved to my laboratory. God, how did they put up with me? I had huge rock and mineral collections, rock tumblers, a little jewelry shop…

…little tanks full of scorpions and exotic South American Beetles…tanks full of tadpoles that I did awful experiments on---I was testing the effects of sex hormones on tadpole maturation…

…and on the other side of the lab, little WD’s fireworks and weapons division. It’s amazing I didn’t put my eye out or blow myself up.

Then, attending high school in Fairbanks, Alaska was great. At the end of the oil rush, the school was well-equipped, lots of good teachers, good programs. That was the hothouse where I first blossomed. You could actually debate with the teachers, and they were so good natured about it…That’s where I became more well-rounded and got some real arts and literature.

If not for the schools in Ecuador and Fairbanks, I doubt that I would have ever gone to college.

I have just always been a very curious person, always wanted to learn as much as I could. I’ve always been basically a “good boy” who wanted to always make my parents and teachers happy.

July 3, 2006
7:18 pm
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I have had very few “bad” teachers. I have always loved my teachers. I loved college. I love reading and thinking. And debating was part of that.

And that part of me leads to a lot of misunderstanding about me. In my current academic environment, debate and controversy are a natural part of trying to figure things out, and people are pretty good natured about it. The energy generated by conflict can actually be enjoyable if you have a good attitude about conflict, and discipline in conflict.

One of the things I have been accused of here is something to the effect of “arguing for the sake of arguing,” or choosing to be a “devil’s advocate” just for the sake of stirring up controversy. That’s just not true about me. What I value is knowledge and “understanding,” not debate. Debate can be fun, but it is “just one” way of getting to understanding.

A related accusation is that I always have to “be right.”

I am a scientist. My work life is about trying to find the truth and escape my own ignorance. You start out with a mess of hypotheses and ideas and beliefs, most of which are insupportable or just plain wrong, and you try to get to the truth, get to the bottom of things. The end result, is hopefully, the relieving of human suffering and the saving of human lives.

Finding the truth is important to me, because belief in falsehood or false causation will prevent us from helping people. In the end, it literally is a matter of life and death.

As a scientist, the only way I can keep my sanity is by absolutely not giving a hoot which hypothesis turns out to be true or false. When I am investigating the effects of a particular drug, for example, I am literally in the position of telling a drug company “I have proved your drug sucks, and you should cut my salary and not pay me to look into this any further.”

A good scientist proves themselves to be wrong, over and over and over again, and allows others to prove them wrong again and again, and is grateful for being proven wrong. It’s scientific integrity.

I try to not have too much personal investment in opinions of mine that may prove to be incorrect. When I make arguments it is not about a personal need to “be right.” It is about my personal value that it is wrong to remain silent in the face of falsehood.

July 3, 2006
7:18 pm
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Another similar accusation is that I have a need to “prove I am smarter” than someone, or that I believe and have a need to prove that I am “superior” to someone.

I am long out of college and competitiveness about intelligence is long a thing of the past for me. In my world, geniuses grow on trees. The smartest person I know is the 22 year old kid we have washing our dishes at the lab. Imagine Stephen Hawking in Brad Pitt’s body.

I have met very, very few genuinely stupid people in my life, and it is my nature to assume that people are intelligent. And I also know that intelligence is something that functions best when it is sharpened and fed good information—knowledge is what empowers us. Ignorance, worse yet, outright Falsehood is what makes us stupid, what weakens us.

I myself am overwhelmed by my own ignorance. That is why I have never stopped studying. I value that activity and I value what comes of it. Try as I might, I just can’t read fast enough and I am falling farther behind all the time.

I don’t walk into discussions without having done some homework, and when I encounter my own ignorance, I try to do something about it.

Look, I can’t escape the fact that I am a darn clever fellow. Within my special, limited areas of talent I am occasionally brilliant. But you know what? I know lots and lots of people who technically have a “lower IQ” than me, (for whatever that stupid number is worth) who are also one hell of a lot wiser than me, have more common sense than me, who are nicer than me, and who are, in the end, better human beings than me.

I also know lots of people who are lots smarter than me, and who are also, as best I can tell, pretty much a waste of flesh, a blight on out planet. Like the department head who keeps getting (successfully) sued for sexual harassment, but who is just too powerful to get rid of. He is a freaking bona-fide genius and women cringe around him. Sheesh.

It is not “how smart” a person is that really counts—it’s what they DO with their minds and with their lives that counts in my book.

I do not give a hoot whether I am smarter or less smart than the next guy. I am what I am, and what I am is all that I have to work with. And I am a heck of a lot prouder of my blues harmonica playing than I am of my IQ.

I don’t feel the slightest need to “prove” anything about my intelligence to anyone, and I would appreciate it if people would stop laying that trip on me.

I may be klutzy, or occasionally insensitive in the way I phrase things, and I know that I have a heck of a lot to learn about being graceful and charming.

But I will be damned if I am going to apologize for being a smart person who works hard at being a well-informed person.

So just let me be me. If you don’t like my representation of facts, or my ideas or reasoning, please correct my facts, criticize my ideas, point out the errors in my reasoning, rather than make a personal attack on me to the effect of “you think you know everything” or “you just have to prove your superiority.”

Because that’s just bullshit. If I want to get into a pissing match with geniuses over “who is smarter” there are lots of other venues for me to do that in. This venue is for other things. Better things.

And when people make that kind of accusation it hurts my feelings and derails conversations.

July 3, 2006
7:35 pm
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(((Worried Dad))),

Actually, I did not know your history so...thank you for sharing it with me (us).

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading this. I actually clapped. Really, I did. And if I could figure out how to show "clapping" with symbols... I would. Bravo to you for putting yourself out there...bare bones and all. Bravo for being true to you.

Feel free to keep writing....I look forward to it.

Love,
lolli

July 3, 2006
7:37 pm
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on my way
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WD...this was such a great idea for you to do. I enjoyed reading about your life. Something this has done is bring reality into my heart anyway, that you and others here are very real people. I think we tend to forget that at times in our posts. This truly is touching and awesome. I for one am glad to know you and of you a little bit better than I did before.

I have to ask you this though:
Did your family know of a man named Steven Friend while you were in Fairbanks?

July 4, 2006
1:09 pm
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Thanks, guys.

Hmm, Steven Friend, doesn't sound familiar.

July 4, 2006
1:10 pm
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WD’s Embassy, continues.

Well, as luck would have it, I ran into some really rough stuff as a boy, and then again as a young man, and then again as a Young Adult. There was lots of good stuff, too, but I know that the abuse cost me. Cost me a lot. I learned a lot and it cost me.

I became a nurse. Then I became a scientist. Then I became a…well, a religious person, an artist, a musician.

I was so smart, and so wise, I thought I had put the hard years behind me. I mean, after you have been beaten bloody with straps, chased with razor blades, and after you have been choked senseless and kicked in the groin, knocked senseless, and had your genitals burnt and guns pulled on you, you either get really angry, depressed and hopeless, or you do something else, right?

So I did the something else. I let God find me, and I found love, and service and meaning in my life.

I achieved my lifetime peak of happiness and creativity and social acceptance.

But I made a mistake. Wise and well-informed survivors of abuse study carefully the science and sociology of how abuse works. I did not. I was a pie in the sky New-Ager. I thought that abuse was just something that happens sometimes, when you meet unfortunate people. I knew about psychosis and depression and psych meds. I knew nothing about personality disorder. It was barely touched on in my nursing classes. Molecular mechanisms of MAO inhibitors? Oh, sure, I could lecture you.

Why do abusers do what they do? What happens to people who are abused? What is Therapist abuse? I knew nothing.

I knew so much and I knew absolutely nothing. And after eight years of talking to three therapists about these things I knew absolutely nothing. Less than nothing. I would have known more if I had simply refrained from consulting with these particular “therapists.”

There I was, Mr. Lovey-Dovey, New-Age Hippy Science Nerd.

“Mr. Life of Service.”

Mister Easy Pickings, is what I was.

I have told the story enough, you would think it would be easy by now to tell it. It’s not.

The technology of abuse makes it entirely feasible to utterly destroy a person without “harming a hair on their head.”

The next batterer to come along , with the help of my therapist, destroyed me. At the height of my intellectual and spiritual powers, I was destroyed, and virtually obliterated as an ego. I knew she had a bit of a problem, but we we’re seeing a therapist, so I thought things were going to be alright.

My therapist had neglected to tell me that he had been successfully sued for sexually abusing four clients He also forgot to tell me that he had not the slightest regret or contrition about what he did to those women, and in fact, believed that his behavior with those women constituted excellent professional practice beyond the understanding of the foolish department of health, who had told him he must not ever practice psychotherapy again. He forgot to tell me that he was named as a textbook example of therapist abuse in the Book When Psychotherapy Goes Wrong.

He didn’t tell me a lot of things.

So my son ended up being abducted by my abusive partner. As far as I’m concerned the therapist facilitated that kidnapping. Doubt I’ll ever see him again.

The part of me that lived was the scientific-medical person, and the one who goes to work.

So I studied the subject of abuse and domestic violence. I mean I studied the living bejeezus out if the subject. Now I understand what would have happened if I had gone to a “real” therapist. My boy would be safe at home for one thing.

So no, when I read about people being hurt by abuse it does not inspire anything like “Universal Outrage.” No, my anger is very personal.

And I have been pretty successful at channeling that into learning and writing and teaching about the subject.

And I am opinionated about it. I have a right to be. My opinions are grounded in long experience, and grounded in medicine and social work. I have no shame or hesitation at all in saying that this is one subject where I am definitely an expert.

July 4, 2006
1:14 pm
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Hi Kroika,

When I am angry I am not really in my right mind. I don't think as clearly, and I am not as sensitive.

That is problematic as far as being helpful to victims goes. Victimology is my weakest subject.

Therapeutic communication, in the nursing sense, or social work sense, requires warmth and a bit of distance, or neutrality.

I just can't acheive that when I have smoke pouring out of my ears.

July 4, 2006
1:19 pm
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WD

I am so proud of my friend; you! Dear man, continue your work, where ever it leads you.

I do hope you are saving this work of art on yourself; it is great and I commend you for your strength and courage to carry on here!

Love in friendship,

Sew/C

July 4, 2006
1:23 pm
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on my way
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WD...more power to you. Experience makes all the difference doesn't it? Makes you real. =)

July 4, 2006
9:52 pm
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(((worried dad))) it's so nice to really know who the very intelligent man is behind his words.=)

July 5, 2006
10:37 am
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WD thanks, i read some of it, thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading it.

July 5, 2006
12:22 pm
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WD- I have spent much more time just reading threads than actually contributing to them and I felt moved to talk to you a bit. I can't imagine how it has felt to be in your shoes but I have always appreciated reading your points of view. Whether I agreed with them or not I like the way your write and I like your sense of humor. Thank you for putting yourself out here and giving me and all of us an opportunity to know you better. Thank you, Gayle

July 5, 2006
6:58 pm
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My outward reactions to certain things may change over time, but some internal operations won't.

I continue to hope & pray that you & your son are re-united some day, and that love will come into your life and bless you with much happiness for the remainder of your life.

July 6, 2006
9:57 pm
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Juanita,

Your last post on the “WD” thread is probably my favorite post from you ever. I am going to come back to that one. For now, I will post what I wrote before I read that excellent post.

July 6, 2006
9:58 pm
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Juanita,

I am sorry that you feel hurt by something I said or did not say, and I do not like it when you feel bad, and wish I could function better inside you. Really, it has not been my intention to hurt your feelings.

And I wish you would take me seriously when I tell you that I have not been "ignoring" you. I haven't been.

Frankly, I am utterly mystified by your hurt feelings. I have no idea what you are talking about.

As best I can tell, you have a model of how you and I "ought to" relate to each other, and I have failed to meet some expectation of your that was not negotiated or agreed to by me. In other words, it seems to me that you are feeling hurt/angry because I failed to read your mind and discern your desires, and I failed to meet your unspoken and unreasonable expectations.

The best, most certain way to get a response from me is by explicitly asking for one.

If I read a post that contains the text "WD...?" then I will feel an impulse to respond. It would be even clearer if the text reads "WD, please respond."

The absolute best way to get a response from me is to create a post with a title that says "WD, please respond."

The second best way to get a response from me is to make an inflammatory post on a controversial thread. I am troll bait.

The third best way to guarantee a response from me is by asking a question related to domestic violence on a thread whose title clearly relates to domestic violence.

Juanita, please, do not hold me responsible to behave according to a standard that you have not made explicit, or made an agreement with me about.

July 6, 2006
10:02 pm
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I now repost Juanita's most recent post on the "WD" thread. I am still thinking about this one.

Juanita
6-Jul-06

Dear Gazelle,

Thank you for your response. I had really no idea anyone would be remembering or 'following' much of what I say as my appearances here & discussions about my troubles have been off & on. Your comments touched me & I thank you for your goodness & kindness towards me. Your glowing comments show you think highly of me & I appreciate that. Too often I feel the love I offer others just isn't ??? what it is meant to be taken as... sincere, geniune care & support.... That it does not matter. (I guess I was seeking to see if my support mattered to WD in some way... that hopefully it had some positive impact as I hoped it would.) You touched me that you have remembered what has transpired in my past. To do that makes me believe you are a truly sensitive, caring, person yourself. I cannot say how much your words awe me. Thank you for your kindness & support.

Guppy,

Yes, we are anonymous. No, we don't "owe" anyone anything here. However, be it that we are here to share and support one another - and you probably do not know my story while WD does.... I was expressing sincere hurt at being ignored. Being emotionally ignored is a trigger for me. Just like he expressed sincere discomfort in the compliments I used to send him more regularly. Being that WD & I have 'known' one another a few years, I felt comfortable enough & sad enough to express my hurt. Do I want him to lavish over me? No. It's just when you think you care about someone, and they 'care' about you, yes, some expectations (be them limited ones) do arise. Due to WD & I having been here a number of years, I assumed and felt there was some friendliness there. Not just an 'anonymous poster'. I have tried to curb my natural ways around WD as I care about him, wish him the best, & wish to be able to communicate with him. I hurt for his hurts & wish I could do something to touch his life & make it better. Am I co-dependent? I think not. I think I am a caring individual, trying to learn to come forth when I feel hurt. Maybe WD & I are not the best 'mix' but I care for him as I would a friend. My thoughts do not change in that manner.

WD,

"3) In my opinion, for a person to feel "ignored" by someone they only know as an anonymous, online contact and then to have hard feelings about that is problematic.

4. Don't pull a hostage trip me. "

Problematic? Gee, let's see.... why does anyone come here? They have been hurt and have problems. You find fault or flaw in my composition to actually care consistently about someone I've never met? Apparently you don't know my character as well as I thought you did. You know my past, how hurt I was by being ignored by my spouse. I'm sensitive to putting genuine feelings & caring, and having nothing but silent in return, so excuse me for being brave and saying it hurt. So sorry I am not a Pro in tackling these issues in a totally correct manner. I am not well practiced in the art of expressing my emotional pains.

Pull a hostage trip on you? Gee, thanks. Come forth and say I'm hurt, and accuse me of pulling a hostage trip on you. Bite me. You want back bone? F you. All I did was care (gee, about you) & express pain that my offerings seemed to go without response.

I am still learning how to argue & express myself in non-happy situations. Somehow I thought caring was a give & take situation. Guppy is right. You do not owe me not a damn thing. This is one lesson I have to keep pounding into myself, I have lots of love I like to offer & give to people ~ but I have to accept that very little of it comes back ~ to give it freely & without expections of any return.... be that from a friend or a stranger.

You are no f*ing hostage. You are f*ing cared about. Damn me for caring, screw me to the wall for saying I was hurt. All I ever did was be supportive of you. Thanks for the support and letting me know I suffer from problematic issues & am an unwitting, calculating, manipulative, emotional, attemptive hostage taker.

You are free to go. I will remain as I have ever been.... fucking caring. YOU have issues with people caring about YOU. That is problematic.

July 6, 2006
10:04 pm
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Well, this thread started out good at least.

I'm out.

July 6, 2006
10:16 pm
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hey! WAIT UP LOLLI- i'm right behind u!! =) peace everybody!

July 6, 2006
10:33 pm
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Guppy...I'll catch up with you in a minute....I have to say something first.

WD,

If I am wrong here than by all means, please except my apology but the feeling I got in my gut when I read your last two posts to Juanita tells me I am not wrong.

You just wrote a very nice post to Juanita telling her how "utterly mystified" you are by her hurt feelings and how that was the last thing in the world you wanted to do. You also went on to tell her how to appropriately address you to get your attention. In the post previous to that you complimented her on her "excellent" post and let her know you would address it "after" you posted what you had written "before" her excellent post.

I'm sorry but I don't believe that for one minute.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you of what you ACTUALLY wrote BEFORE her excellent post.....

"Juanita, you are beginning to show a little backbone here, so I an going to stop pussyfooting around with you.

1) I have not bee "ignoring" you.

Sorry you feel that way

2)As I have said, the way to enagage me is with actual content, and when you provide some I tend to respond. I have explained that certain content draws me more than others.

3) In my opinion, for a person to feel "ignored" by someone they only know as an anonymous, online contact and then to have hard feelings about that is problematic.

4. Don't pull a hostage trip me. "

Now that I have refreshed your memory.....

I find it very hard to believe that you wrote your "heartfelt" post...immediately after you wrote this one.

What seems more likely to me is that once you read her post...you came up with one intended soley to make yourself look like the "nice guy" that had taken the time to address her concerns before she told you off. It reeks of insencerity meant only to make her feel guilty for having told you off.

I find it to be manipulative at best and abusive at worst.

Again...if I'm wrong...I am sorry but I have to be honest....I've very often found you to be pompous and condescending but still never thought of you as a "bad" guy. This has really made me see you in a different light...and I don't like it...at all.

July 6, 2006
10:38 pm
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lollipop3
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Ekkk....

Just the fact that you brought it to everyone's attention that you wrote that post "before" you read hers tells me it's not true.

I have to go.

July 6, 2006
11:07 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Hi Lollipop,

I predict that this piece of this thread is going to resolve in a beautiful, touching, and learningful manner amazingly quickly.

Juanita has a much bigger problem than her relationship with me, and I want to get back to that one pretty quickly. But first, she and I have to do some relationship maintainance work.

I have much, much bigger problems in my life than my relationship with Juanita or with anyone here.

Those problems are so overwhelming that I have absolutely zero hope or expectation of getting more here than something to the effect of "Yep that's a problem, alright WD. That's gotta hurt. You have my sympathies." Or maybe, a "(((WD)))."

I learned something from SewUnique recently. She reminded me of a lesson that I thought I had already learned, but which, in truth, I am nowhere near the level of Mastery of.

To me, Juanita's recent posts to me are kind of upsetting. But I also think and feel that Juanita has been more intimate and real, authentic with me that she ever has before.

I like it, and I am looking forward to the conversation that I might get to have with Juanita here.

July 6, 2006
11:18 pm
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Anonymous
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cool beans!!

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