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Wishes to be Pretty
October 1, 1999
1:44 pm
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Delilah
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September 30, 2010
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All my life people have made fun of how ugly and fat I was. When I Finally became skinny and half way decent al these guys treat me like a sex toy. They stare and make rude sexual comments What should I do?

October 1, 1999
8:11 pm
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J. C.
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September 24, 2010
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I'm sure it is the same type of guy who teased you for being fat and ugly that now sees you as a sex toy. Either fat or thin, pretty or ugly, this type of guy is not the kind of person you want to get involved with. Obviously he doesn't see women as human beings, but as an object. Perhaps you are looking in the wrong places. First find your true interests...a decent guy may be around there with all the same interests as you.

~JC

October 2, 1999
8:23 pm
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Delilah. I agree totally with J.C's response. I would like to go just a little further.

I am a male who has had relationships with some beautiful women. These exceptionally beautiful women unfortunately seem to suffer more than most from this sexual objectification. The sad thing is that some beautiful women come to believe that their sole worth lies in their sexual attractiveness. As they age and lose this attractiveness, they really suffer. The mirror becomes their enemy and 'make up' their pseudo-friend. They cannot believe that anyone wants them for themselves and not their bodies.

Mae West and Marlene Dietrich were classic examples of beautiful women who desparately clung to their physical appearance as an image of their self-worth. Yet other not so beautiful stars like Jessica Tandy shine from within in their declining years. Their self-image comes from within.

I am sensing that you have never had an image of your own inner beauty and value. If I am right and in fact you have an opposite image then the 'idiots', that you described, would only have seemed to confirm your total worthlessness. No wonder this hurt you so much.

Incidentally, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While involved in a very infrequent excursion during my errant youth :-), I noticed that grossly overweight prostitutes did just as much trade as the slender ones. There is no accounting for taste - male or female.

Are you sufficiently 'together' to describe your own 'inner' self image to us? If not, then please disregard this question.

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