Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
Why is it always a man who has to be there for a woman?
August 18, 2008
12:05 am
Avatar
marypoppins
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

posting this on the appropriate thread:

marypoppins
17-Aug-08

And Guest, you wrote on your thread about women expecting men to be stronger that you took some women's responses as agreement with your point, although they didn't say so directly.

Most of the women on the support side of the board have issues with men who are alcoholics, drug addicts, sex offenders, and so on. These men are not emotionally available. They're abusive. Expect a man to be the strong one? How about expect him to be a decent human being?

Have you read the threads on the support side? What is YOUR relationship history? In your thread, you seemed only interested in pushing posters to agree with you and twisting posts to show accord with your argument.

That's my opinion anyway.

August 18, 2008
1:38 am
Avatar
glittered when he walked
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

well if we didn't have genitalia, i doubt we'd exist. ; ) gotta procreate somehow.

a couple without sexual organs - we could observe then more closely the effect of nurture, because without hormones the genetic influences are arguably muted. as such we could then examnine each person's upbringing in relation to the relationship dynamic. without sex organs and their biochemical influences thereof are they still man and woman?

without sex organs would this couple practice monogamy? an interesting question. One could argue that there would be emotional monogamy, but i wonder...would your mate getting emotionally intimate with another be as threatening if there were no possibility of sex? And if we reproduced asexually (like self cloning) would there be a historical precedent for monogamy in the first place?

On the face it one might expect that emotional committment would become even stronger - because there is no sexual aspect to the equation anymore. However, if there is no sex involved whatsoever, what's to stop this neutral gender race from producing asexually and raising their progeny in some sort of collective group? Beacuse there is no biological need to have only one mate.

August 18, 2008
2:21 am
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

"Expect a man to be the strong one? How about expect him to be a decent human being? "

Oh now that's just going WAY too far! Decent human being? What an unreasonable request...

j/k

free

August 18, 2008
11:07 am
Avatar
marypoppins
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((free)))

Glittered - I think you need to include other factors to your scenario, namely physical prowess and attractiveness and power.

no sexual organs...like Barbie and Ken

this sounds like discussions from college days...pass the bong, man

Mary

August 18, 2008
11:09 am
Avatar
marypoppins
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

other factors IN your scenario...

August 18, 2008
1:47 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Soofoo, thats ok. Usually things offend someone when

- the 'victim' partially actually believes its true. That creates an internal storm and the person becomes offended

- there's some cold hard truth in it

Glittered, thanks for your input! One of two good inputs on this thread here. I'm not talking about reproduction at all, only about relationship characteristics and wondering how it would be in the absense of sexual organs. You're right, I wonder if we can call these people Man and Woman any more since they dont have their organs.

Mary so what were you guys discussing back in college that relates to this topic?

August 18, 2008
4:09 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

There ya go, Phil Collins's ex-wife (wife#3) gets $46 million from a divorce settlement.

http://www.fashion.ie/aggregat.....rld-record

Who here thinks that its ok for ex-wives to win the lottery on the hubby's money like this?

August 18, 2008
4:46 pm
Avatar
soofoo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Actually, Guest, it's not okay. Your comments about women are both unacceptable and untrue.

August 18, 2008
6:02 pm
Avatar
marypoppins
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It's not worth the effort, Soofoo. I think his head's too far...oh, never mind.

August 18, 2008
6:57 pm
Avatar
truthBtold
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

marypoppins,

You made me laugh - out loud - for real 🙂

"Pass the bong, man"

Ha ha ha ah......

...and while you're at it - don't bogart that joint either 😉

Anyway, that one cracked me up!!!!!!!!

August 18, 2008
7:02 pm
Avatar
marypoppins
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((truth)))

August 18, 2008
7:15 pm
Avatar
truthBtold
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((((marypoppins)))))

I SOOOO needed a laugh right now.

BTW, a little "somethin' somethin' poem about: "The Difference between Strength and Courage:"

(I have this one posted in my office.)

The Difference Between Strength and Courage

It takes strength to be firm,
It takes courage to be gentle.

It takes strength to stand guard,
It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer,
It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to be certain,
It takes courage to have doubt.

It takes strength to fit in,
It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to feel a friend's pain,
It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide your own pains,
It takes courage to show them.

It takes strength to endure abuse,
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone,
It takes courage to lean on another.

It takes strength to love,
It takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive,
It takes courage to live.

Note to all here - no mention of gender or anatomy whatsoever.

You know?

August 18, 2008
7:18 pm
Avatar
marypoppins
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

right on, TBT!!! (((((all of us)))))

August 18, 2008
10:25 pm
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

"Who here thinks that its ok for ex-wives to win the lottery on the hubby's money like this?"

I do. It's not "his" money, it's theirs. Same goes the other way around guest.

What if oprah had been married before she made it big, wouldn't her husband be entitled to half their common worth, which would obviously be primarily hers. ?

uh, yup, he would. And he'd get it.

free

August 18, 2008
10:32 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks for sharing TB! This is awsome!

(((To All of US)))

August 18, 2008
10:50 pm
Avatar
glittered when he walked
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I dunno...how long has phil been married?

I mean for folks like us we're probably thinking...either 10 million or 25 million...what's the difference?

I think Joan collins' ex husband got a wad of her cash.

I do have issue with mcCartney's ex wife marrying him after he's made his pile and then when they divorce shortly thereafter she's expecting 1/2 his money? she had nothing to do with most of it and she could certainly lead a very comfortable and familiar lifestyle on much less. as it was she got what? 50 million? I don't exactly feel bad for her over that. I mean it's not like she's gonna have to fly coach to monte carlo.

Now if Phils been married for a buncha years she's gonna get a buncha money. Not like it's gonna hurt him too much.

But seriously for us folks who don't have anywhere near that kind of dough..gender aside..how much of it is motivated by getting even when they're fighting over that much money? Maybe they have the same debt to income ratio will all do so it's a wash, but somehow i doubt it.

August 18, 2008
11:03 pm
Avatar
glittered when he walked
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think physical prowess wouldn't be as disparate between such couples as the advantages of Hormones on overall size and muscles mass are no longer there.

Physical attractiveness? I would think, much like people would bond with others of about the same attractiveness as they are (outliers aside). there's a genetic aspect to attractiveness in animals that reproduce sexually but in a world of asexual reporduction i think physical attarctiveness would take a definite back seat to emotional and intellectual attractiveness.

Power? well in a world where there are no genitalia and apparently parenting is equally shared I would think that power wouldn't be more diffuse. For example, there's power through money and power through love, likability, etc etc.

August 18, 2008
11:08 pm
Avatar
glittered when he walked
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

For the record guest, i think there are plenty of good inputs in this thread.

and i gave up bong smokin a long long time ago ; ) don't miss it.

and correct the last paragraph of previous post to read:

"Power? well in a world where there are no genitalia and apparently parenting is equally shared I would think that power WOULD be more diffuse. For example, there's power through money and power through love, likability, influence, etc etc

August 19, 2008
12:16 am
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I like this debate...I for one wonder the same thing glitter...why is it that men don't want to be spoiled but prefer women who will bitch at them. I tried the being there for a guy and wanting to comfort them when they were sad, I drove through mountains and mudslides because my man was sick but in the end do you know what he told me? That I was too independent and he didn't know what he could do for me :(....So there you go.

Another ex who loved doing the manly thing as well as the being spoiled thing would get upset if I changed my car oil without him doing it. He considered me calling him to drive 365 miles to take my car to the jiffy lube and sign of trust. I suggested once that I would take him a picnic lunch at work and he wondered why in heaven's name I'd do such a thing. He wasn't my son, he said. So you tell me, do you think many men would appreciate a girl who drove across town to comfort them if they had a bad dream and were courageous enough to admit it? I would be so honored if my man asked me to do that.

A friend of mine who is always there for me when I call him wont want me to get him even a cup of water when he is sick. What is this about? I thrive on taking care of people....I just love it!!!! I wish I knew how to take care of men without them feeling week or useless....I'm assuming this is what is going on...

August 19, 2008
12:17 am
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sorry, I should have addressed that to guest not glitter 🙂

August 19, 2008
1:26 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Free

>> What if oprah had been married before she made it big, wouldn't her husband be entitled to half their common worth, which would obviously be primarily hers?

How is her husband entitled to get 50% of what she has worked her butt off for?

What's his part in this wealth, having his name in the marriage certificate?

August 19, 2008
1:35 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Fantas

I think you are a woman of the next generation. So the guys you were dating who would get upset if you changed the oil? AHH, the ownership of their testosterone was in question. These guys were nothing but insecure mindless macho idiots.

Most people follow the culture and are dumb and cant do their own thing. Then they get offended if someone points out something wrong about what they've been doing all their lives and what they've seen in the culture. You're an exception. You did your own thing, and couldnt understand why he'd get upset. You're definitely a strong woman, and one for whom I didnt make this thread. Am I right or you think you still partially believe in the very commonly found sexist attitude: "A Man's gotta be a man and he's gonna be there for a woman and he's gotta be strong for her".

You believe in equal mental health levels for both genders, yes and you think like me? Did I get my assessment right or mm.. I need to sleep on it more?

August 19, 2008
1:39 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

See, the person who invented the wheel was the one who felt most crappy about walking with stuff on his shoulders. He hated it and he wanted to make it easier. When people are very satisfied and smug lifting heavy loads on their shoulders, do you think THEY would be the ones wanting to invent the wheel? Nope. They wouldnt care.

So, new ideas and stuff comes from people who're not happy with what they have. That dissatisfaction is a price to pay for invention and creativity.

August 19, 2008
2:24 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Thinking about it more, what I said might not be true actually for all cases:

>> So, new ideas and stuff comes from people who're not happy with what they have. That dissatisfaction is a price to pay for invention and creativity.

Any inputs on this anyone?

August 20, 2008
1:53 am
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
100sp_Permalink sp_Print

Guest-guest,

you are bang on the money. Other than the obvious hormonally driven differences,which help us compliment one another, I think men and women are equal and require the same needs met. So I always think that if I like someone to nurture me when I'm down, why wouldn't a man want the same thing? If I feel tired and want a man to draw me a bath, why not cook his favorite dinner if that's what makes him nurturted or draw him a bath if that's what he likes. I never want to assume that just because we are men or women, we do or like things one way. Each person is different regardless of gender. I for one I'm not too moved by flowers of anniversary and birthday celebrations etc...i never feel offended if my man forgets my birthday which makes their remembering and wanting to do it even that much more sweeter because I know, that they know, they didn't have to do it. I will remember theirs as well and make just as big a fuss as they made mine or even if they forgot mine. It's neither here nor there...

I think it's only fair to treat each other equally as human being and to assume that we all need nurturing although it may look different for different people not gender, people. No two women like to be spoilt the same way and not two men do either...

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
28
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111162
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen, eyeconcepts, junwork52, whitedental
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information