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Why is it always a man who has to be there for a woman?
August 14, 2008
2:06 am
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soofoo
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Guest monkey,
It was personal and abusive when you said that men are smarter than women. It was also very stupid. Your age means everything. If you are like 18 you are just ignorant. If you are 40, you are a schmuck.

August 14, 2008
2:23 am
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soofoo
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Guest monkey,

What?????

How could you take anything from me? Hostile reaction?!

You don't make a whole lot of sense, little monkey. When you incur soofoo's wrath she does not joke around with you like in above posts. I have already decided that you are not a schmuck and just a baby monkey. All monkeys learn to dish it well before they learn to take it. Those who never learn are schmucks, but I'd bet all those valentine's gifts I've collected for sex over the years against you being a 40 year old schmuck.

How do I know a man does not drop $5,000 on a diamond ring for sex? Duh, guest monkey. Sex is way cheaper than that, like $50-$250 from a hooker. Duh.

Now put your chin in your hand and contemplate what I've said.

Just monkeying around, soofoo.

August 14, 2008
3:36 am
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free
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I'm not surprised at what your friend went through bevdee.

The day after i gave birth to my second child, I drove her and myself home. Dad didn't want to have to come back to get a car that would have been left. After I got home I went to the grocery store and to the pharmacy to pick up my pain meds. Dad needed a workout and needed to go to the gym.

My mom came and got me from the hospital after I gave birth to our third child. He was tired and told her I just wanted attention. When we got home (my mom, myself, and our newborn child), he was in bed and the door was locked. it was only like 10 pm or so. He locked the door to the bedroom. In the morning he said he just wanted to be able to sleep and not deal with any drama.

This is how men who've been in my life are. When it's not about them, it's not important.

Like I said, maybe I just pick 'em bad or something.

One guy I dated , I let him stay the night one night. THAT was stupid. Long story short- he like moved in. All of a sudden he's there ALL the time, with his daughter. Of course, not paying any bills, groceries, anything. He had been living with his sister. I booted him. But he'd been there a few months- it was so weird!

The men I've dated, married, loved,divorced, booted, etc., have all been or are currently, a burden. Physically, emotionally, financially. Not a team-mate. Not a source of comfort. Not a partner. Not a resource for- any friggin' thing.

Just a sex-begging burden.

free

free

August 14, 2008
3:54 am
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soofoo
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Monkey dear,
I just read that you're 30. Okay, I feel better. I didn't just crush some poor little boy.

I enjoy your fiery personality and like you despite that you think I've been abusive. I didn't mean to hurt you.

Sigh... Wondering whether you have truly misunderstood everything I said, or you're just pretending to misunderstand to have an argument.

You seem angry or frustrated about something. And you did go totally ad hominem before anyone else did. I don't think you really wanted to have a debate. I think you wanted to vent.

I hope you got some venting action. No diamonds necessary.

(((monkey)))

August 14, 2008
3:58 am
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bevdee
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(((Free)))

August 14, 2008
6:37 am
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bevdee
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Wow. I googled Ad Hominem. It's almost all about trolling! LOL. But about this monkey business, I found this definition.

http://www.nizkor.org/features.....minem.html

Fallacy: Ad Hominem

Description of Ad Hominem
Translated from Latin to English, "Ad Hominem" means "against the man" or "against the person."

An Ad Hominem is a general category of fallacies in which a claim or argument is rejected on the basis of some irrelevant fact about the author of or the person presenting the claim or argument. Typically, this fallacy involves two steps. First, an attack against the character of person making the claim, her circumstances, or her actions is made (or the character, circumstances, or actions of the person reporting the claim).

Second, this attack is taken to be evidence against the claim or argument the person in question is making (or presenting). This type of "argument" has the following form:

Person A makes claim X.

2. Person B makes an attack on person A.

3. Therefore A's claim is false.

The reason why an Ad Hominem (of any kind) is a fallacy is that the character, circumstances, or actions of a person do not (in most cases) have a bearing on the truth or falsity of the claim being made (or the quality of the argument being made).

Example of Ad Hominem

Bill: "I believe that abortion is morally wrong."

Dave: "Of course you would say that, you're a priest."

Bill: "What about the arguments I gave to support my position?"

Dave: "Those don't count. Like I said, you're a priest, so you have to say that abortion is wrong. Further, you are just a lackey to the Pope, so I can't believe what you say."

August 14, 2008
9:54 am
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bevdee
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Where my Googletravels took me this time.

http://webserve.govst.edu/pa/P.....alling.htm

" Name-Calling

Name-calling" is used here to suggest the attack -words used to intensify the "bad" of others: emotionally-charged words, slanted, biased, used to express fear and anger and to stir them up in others. If spoken, the tone of voice is often angry or enraged, sneering or mocking. Everyone has experienced or witnessed such use of language as a spontaneous, unpremeditated response to some situation.

Generic name-calling.

Several kinds of all-purpose attack words can be used in many contexts. Some are simply the derogatory names, slurs, and insults applied to other groups, ethnic, national, or religious. All cultures have such pejorative terms for the various sub-groups within, but the United States is uniquely rich in such a vocabulary (niggers, wops, kikes, chinks, spics, japs, krauts, hunkies, dagos, dot heads, towel heads, etc.) because of the complex immigrant experience with so many groups so quickly thrown together.

Another large body of generic attack language relates to sexuality and bodily functions; "dirty words" considered vulgar or taboo, forbidden in polite society, are commonly used as all-purpose insults and invectives.

A third major category of generic name-calling relates to words which suggest that the other is non-human (monster, brute, savage, beast, animal, dog, rat) or less-than-fully human(stupid, ignorant, dumb, jerk).

If spoken with great vehemence, the most common word linked with all of these generic insults is the all-purpose adjective, "dirty."

The intensity of such name-calling varies; war propaganda is usually the most intense, but there are other "gut issues" such as political, racial and religious conflicts which stir up intense emotions. "

August 14, 2008
10:52 am
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Ahh I stirred up emotions alright, good point Bevdee. Its ok, I dont mind the attacks.

>> I go to women for emotional support because most of the men I have known are real bad at expressing their emotions.

Good point and true. Men think they're sissies if they express emotions. Now its funny but when I see something emotional on TV, my eyes well up. I'm different, not like these other macho idiots. They're really no different than women who also follow the culture train. I have seen so many "dumb" guys that its amazing. I guess, guys are as guilty for being lost in their "macho-chism" as girls are for being "girly".

Expressing emotions fluently and talking about it is a talent and an ability and a sign of intelligence. Although that crying does nothing for me except make me feel a little bit lighter. Ahhhh, I wonder if its pent up emotions from somewhere else that are released due an excuse on TV. But anyway, I dont hold back.

==============

Free

You should have been compensated for all the work you did for your kids. That was unfair for you obviously. Its things like these that will have to happen before women get their rights and equality. Women are not equal, not even in the West. I saw an article a few days ago about how, women are still underpaid for the same jobs. It'll take a while.

August 14, 2008
11:01 am
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Soofoo

Alright, you keep calling me monkey. Try not to though. Its kinda distracting for me. I have to wade through the attacks to find the useful parts.

>> How do I know a man does not drop $5,000 on a diamond ring for sex? Duh, guest monkey. Sex is way cheaper than that, like $50-$250 from a hooker. Duh.

Because having sex with a hooker is:

- not safe (diseases)

- not socially acceptable

Marriage and having a girlfriend is socially acceptable. If he can give a diamond ring, valentine gift and a hug every night and get a socially acceptable hooker for long term, why not? Thats good deal right?

I know I'm offending some people but I think it like this: a person doesn't discover new oceans unless he has courage to leave the shore. I'm not afraid to stretch what I'm thinking with possibilities of discovering something new. Mmm, yea.

Now lets imagine something.

Imagine that men and women's "places" are nothing but plain like on a plastic doll. They're missing their private parts.

In this situation, if you really think about it - what reason has a man have to hang out with a woman? I mean - why would be prefer to be with a woman as opposed to a man? I might go with women, they're cute and cuddly and I love their voice. Those could be some potential reasons.

See you really cant imagine the doll scenario, because we never can. We've never seen it. The current way is always how it has been.

Ask you guy about it. Tell him if all mankind including both of us just had a plain landscape instead of our private parts, would he prefer to be with you as opposed to a man, and if yes - why? lol. Ask him please. Then tell him to ask you the same question and let me know the answers.

August 14, 2008
11:04 am
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That was of course a quotation from somewhere else: "a person doesn't discover new oceans unless he has courage to leave the shore."

I purposely replaced man with person because its sexist. See I'm not a woman hater. Deep down I'm a feminist. Its true.

August 14, 2008
1:24 pm
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soofoo
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Okay, I'll stop calling you monkey. It's just that "guest" is so ... dissatisfying somehow. Okay, so you said,

"Ask your guy about it. Tell him if all mankind including both of us just had a plain landscape instead of our private parts, would he prefer to be with you as opposed to a man, and if yes - why?"

The problem with your question is that if no one had private parts then I guess there wouldn't be a man to compare me to. ("as opposed to a man").

I can already tell you what he'll say if I ask him that. His answer will be something like this. "What? What do you mean "landscape"? Why are you asking me this question? But that could never happen. What? I don't get it. Did you get this off the internet?" He never answers my hypothetical questions. He just returns them with more questions.

But I suppose if I took out the hypothetical stuff and just said, "Would you still love me if I didn't have my private parts?" he would say yes.

I think I see what you're getting at.

I think you're about to say something like this; "Ha! So you admit, that if there were no private parts, there would be no men and women, because the only difference between us is our private parts. Why then, should men be stronger? Ha! Ha! Admitted by the woman herself! Ha!"

Okay, admitted.

But now you will have to admit that I do a damn good impression of you.

August 14, 2008
2:15 pm
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Oh I'm way over 50% convinced that men marry women for guaranteed sex.

Don't have sex with a husband for awhile and just watch the sparks fly. They think it is their right. They "bought" it, bartered for it, earned it. There's a sense of entitlement I do believe.

Like I said, sex-begging burdens.

And yeah soofoo that was a pretty good impression lol.

free

August 14, 2008
4:11 pm
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marypoppins
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BUT Soofoo impersonating guest formerly known as monkey but no longer because it's derogatory,

men IN GENERAL are physically bigger and stronger than women, aren't they?

little boys play "king of the mountain", who is the biggest and strongest of us?

little girls play "house"

August 14, 2008
4:16 pm
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marypoppins
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"house" has probably changed now...

"Okay, okay. I'm the step mom, you're the real mom, you're the mom's boyfriend, you're the dad, these babies are, uh, wait, I forgot...whose the baby daddy of this one (child holds up doll)?"

August 14, 2008
4:41 pm
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soofoo
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Free,
Hmm. I'm wondering what way over 50% convinced means. Does that mean that way over 50% of the time you believe it, or does it mean that you'd put the odds of it being true at way over 50%? Or does it mean that way over 50% of men marry for guaranteed sex?

Begging for sex is one of the most un-sexy things a man can do and seriously lowers his chances of getting it. Someone should tell him this.

Now, here's yet another difference between men and women! I don't think it's quite the same if a woman begs for sex. That could be hot. Right guys?

[Ha! Guest_Guest defeated again! ; 0 ) ]

In my experience marriage is not exactly conducive to sex. I don't know of anyone who finds a marriage certificate particularly erotic. Although I guess it could always be brushed across the skin delicately...

If marriage leads to a sense of entitlement, well that's not sexy. I can imagine ... "Woman, I married you and thus it is your duty to have sex with me. I cover you on my health insurance, I'm your next of kin, you'll get my life insurance and 401k one day, so you better serve up the nookie." That would just have me tearing off my clothes. Or I guess it could go "Please?!! ... C'mon please, please? C'mon please. I said please! C'mon I pay the mortgage!" That one would just melt me like butter.

Guys, we like sex. But when you do this it's kind of like eating off a toilet seat. Even if it's lobster it's kind of ruined.

August 14, 2008
4:48 pm
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soofoo
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Marypoppins, LMAO about "house"!

August 14, 2008
4:59 pm
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marypoppins
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Soofoo, you crack me up!

August 14, 2008
5:06 pm
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soofoo
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Ditto Marypoppins, who knew this would turn into a barrel of monkeys!

August 14, 2008
7:40 pm
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bevdee
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LOL LOL soofoo!!!

Since I read that, I have been thinking about monkeys, sockpuppets and sockmonkeys. My gramma used to make Red heel sock monkeys for us, and I still have a chest full of them. I have the whole circus now - a sock giraffe and a sock elephant. But my favorites are the sockmonkeys. She sewed blue buttons for the eyes on mine. :~)

August 14, 2008
8:00 pm
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StronginHim77
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soofoo -

This latest posting from you is sheer, comedic brilliance! I am STILL laughing!!! Finding a marriage certificate "erotic?" [HOWLING]

Encore?

- Ma Strong

August 14, 2008
8:17 pm
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That WAS pretty friggin funny soofoo.

T clarify, I really do think that more than half of all men marry for guaranteed, continual sex.

I really think men are driven by their winkie's.

I really do.

free

August 15, 2008
1:29 am
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Hmm..my two cents worth..i don't think men are "always" the ones asked for support.

I think the answer is both nature and nurture as to the differences between us. Beyond that..even if we knew definitively why, of what practical significance would it be?

simply put guest, if you are an emotional man who is nurturing I think you could find a woman who would love and appreciate that - maybe you've found that already. if so congrats.

I wouldn't say women are weaker so much as I'd say we have different strengths.

On another note...sex in marriage as a right? No, i don't think of it as a right, but i do think of it as a very important aspect of a loving sexual relationship. I won't beg for sex, but I will flirt and tease and please in hopes of having it should the desire be upon me. should she still not want to partake, then oh well. i think a woman begging for sex can be sexy - but only if i like the idea of it. If I'm not attracted to her, then no, it's not sexy..it's friggin scary..lol. One time the exwife was begging for sex with me, but i was exclusive with someone else and i didn't want to hurt my gf. so, I had to push her away//I mean literally "push" her away and it wasn't sexy - it was pathetic and hard to do at the same time.

I wouldn't recommend withholding sex as a weapon. We marry others with expectations of certain behaviors...things like communicating, caring, nurturing, and yes sex. Now, if you love someone you can accept small changes in the frequencies of these expectations over time, but if they became too infrequent or non-existent does this not affect intimacy to the point of perhaps breakage? Sex is important to me and I'm honest about that with any woman I am seeing. No - we;re hard pressed to get someone with the exact same appetite at the exact same time, but if we get a reasonable approximation - we make do.

August 17, 2008
1:48 pm
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lewis
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i don't know what it would be like for a man to be there for me-i'm always little miss on her own 🙁

August 17, 2008
9:54 pm
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Glittered, thanks for a rational response. When I sensed you werent offended by the question, I later found out you're a guy. Makes sense. If the question offended women (and it did, real bad, that I know) then there might be some truth to it.

I'm still looking for answers. Here's another way of asking it, people and I'm not talking about marriage only:

How would a relationship between a man and woman change if sexual parts did not exist? In what ways would this relationship be different from a relationship between a pair of people of the same gender?

So now you got:

- Man with no penis (plain landscape) and a woman with a plain landscape as well

- Two men with no penises

- Two woman with plain landscapes

What are the differences going to be. I wonder if we can ever answer these questions.

August 17, 2008
11:51 pm
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Hi guest,

Your question didn't offend the women who responded but rather confused them, because in general we feel like we're the ones doing the care-taking in a relationship.

What was offensive were the following comments:

"We're smarter. We know what we want and we go for it. We want that fruit, and we know we have to climb and distract the monkeys, so we do it. The monkeys like being distracted."

"Saying its a matter of "difference" is one way of brushing aside the fact that he's infact superior."

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