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Why Bashing is not Healthy for Healing
April 22, 2010
3:56 pm
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kady
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Hello. I believe that this site should be about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues. What I do not believe this site should be about is blatant bashing of any sort. While I can understand that people may be bitter, and angry, I hope I do not see this site turn into a bashing forum. Why? Simply because bashing is not healthy for healing. There is a sense of being on the side of justice, and the process of bashing seems to make one feel better (temporarily at least). Unfortunately, this process is not better than making oneself feel better by smoking, by drinking, or by another addictive behavior. Why? Essentially, bashing just releases steam without facing one's real issues beneath the anger. In all likelihood, bashing will produce a painful backlash. Confirmed bashers will feel righteously indignant about the backlash and often trap themselves into more bashing. VERBAL BASHING IS A TRAP!

April 22, 2010
6:45 pm
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andii
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Hi Kady

What I have learned about this type of thing is that interacting with "bashers", bullies, whatever you want to call them, is pointless. By choosing a target to bash, bully, put down, etc, the person doing so feels a sense of superiority. Others with low self esteem join in so as to share in those grandiose feelings. Doesn't just happen in chat rooms or discussion forums- it's every where in politics, in the office, etc. Rather than simply state something such as "I really disagree with this particular policy for the following reasons" we often hear/read "he/she is such an idiot! blah blah blah

I say the interaction is pointless because these people are self serving and not interested in anything that doesn't serve that quest to feel and look superior. It's all about them, no regard for others. I don't think those here who have a need to engage in that behavior are interested in healing Kady, and I think that while your intentions are truly good, you've made yourself a target. Especially since their original target has given them no feedback, no fuel to continue with. They will try to get the fuel from you Kady, and they will suck the life right out of you if you let them. By posting to you I do realize I may have just fueled them, and so if/when they "take off" with this on a ha ha fest as horsefly called it (that's funny lol), I won't be able to respond to you or it because I'm not willing to let them suck any life out of me. I really think that site coordinator's and moderators should intervene in these things, but sites are run differently that's for sure. I just wanted to let you know that I think your intentions are admirable and that you have alot of guts. These type of peoples can be quite ugly.

(((Kady)))

April 22, 2010
8:07 pm
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lovinglife
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again Kady, to whom are you addressing this to? The person who bashed this site, bashed to no end this sites coordinator as well as bashed some of AAC posters on another site?

Its VERY apparent you're here ONLY to stir up TROubLLe.

For the health of this site I hope those of us who have been down this road before don't take Kady's bait - (as I am now).

April 22, 2010
11:21 pm
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marypoppins
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Kady,

Good point.

Mary

April 28, 2010
9:44 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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I see only helping poeple here...I have to say that I think I found a wonderful site here, and so far, it has been a VERY Postiive influence in my life, I would not be as happy or as informed...if not for this site...I am sorry but I am lost here!

April 28, 2010
4:17 pm
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truthBtold
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Your point is kind of vague to me.

It lacks specific eamples of what exactly you are alluding to.

Personally, I have no qualms whatsoever in 'bashing' the covert and manipulative tactics of a sexual predator.....IF that happens to be the subject matter at hand.

"Bashing" in this vein, would prove certain to be most helpful and validating for many victims of abuse.

I think that you need to clarify exactly what you mean and cite examples of, personally, before making such a blanket statement which could be construed to apply to just a large variety of many different issues.

Ya know?

That's my thinking anyway ~

From what I can tell, based upon your post that you are "bashing the bashters" without any clear cut reasoning as to exactly what it is that you oppposed to.

Please do take a moment to clarify so that all of us can be on the same page here and we aren't mixing apples with oranges ~

Make sense?

April 28, 2010
8:18 pm
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Hey tbt....well said!

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