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When do coincidences stop being coincidences and start being 'something else'?
July 5, 2007
12:25 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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Red -

you have led a VERY fascinating life.

And your posts are so jumbled it IS hard to follow.

HOWEVER - I do believe in something "more" does exist in this world, that which is hard to explain.

Is it fate? Do we inadvertantly(sp?) cause our own problems? Do we attract these types of peoples and their problems into our lives?

Well, I know that MANY of us feel like we have a "target" on our back, attracting the users and abusers. And in the end, yes, it will seem that way, because we DO have behaviours that emit transmissions that say "we are weak, vulnerable, codep. etc". We have certain things about us that will attract the only addict in the bunch, or the only alcoholic.

A codep. can walk in the room, not say much of anything, and walk out with the only unhealthy person in the bunch. Yes, it's a sort of radar.

So the question is - what is it about you that attracts these situations?

you were born to your mom - so you didn't attract that...although some say that baby's souls are "up there" waiting to be born, and PICK the parents/situation they are born into. My daughter was said that she picked me because there was unfinished business in past lives and that we were given this chance to try and learn to get along and heal those pasts...I admit, we started out on a BAD foot and didn't get along as a mother and infant/toddler often does. But it's better now.

Sometimes our experiences with our family of origin sets us up for bad experiences later in life...we seek out those experiences to recreate our wounded childhood, and make the outcome different this time...make it work, instead of fail. So, perhaps you sought out these painful people in order to have a different outcome...which is next to impossible to pull off.

Maybe instead of a regular therapist, you may need someone with a more "spiritual" understanding of things, someone who can understand the kinds of things you speak of. The question is - who is "qualified" and who is just a quack who will fill you full of more garbage. That's something that will take some work. Many are qualified to do regressions to get those other memories back.

You have lived quite a fascinating life...I'd love to read the book!

July 5, 2007
1:15 pm
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red blonde
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Rising ~

I have led a very very different life than most people, I believe. I haven't had many of my 'kind' to talk to or discuss things with - meaning the 'duality' of my life. It has become - a long time before I came to this site - a question of whether I have 'free will' or am 'other - meaning God - directed' (or fated, as some may say). It has made me search for answers in different areas, like religions, philosophies, beliefs, and metaphysical, those being reicarnation, Karma, etc.

When I said that my therapist...this was back in '91...stated she was afraid of me...she really did mean that I had frightened her. And I have frightened a good many people during my lifetime.

My first love coming back into my life after 37 years, has triggered alot of things in me...plus a fear on top of all of it...and that fear is: WHY NOW after all those years? It is the most WONDERFUL thing in my life that he did...but the flip side of it is....I am afraid. The way my life has been and what I have been through....is he a 'reward' or is he a 'torment'?

July 5, 2007
1:29 pm
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red blonde
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Rising ~

But then, around '96 - when my oldest and dearest male friend who did know my life and what I had gone through and whom I would debate the existence of God with - me pro, him con - died suddenly. At the same time, my first love realized that he had, unhappily, always had this big empty space in him that could never be filled and that I was that empty space, put me in his prayers that he would find me again. My Soulmate?

I realize that my posts are jumbled. Reflective of my thoughts and feelings right now?

July 5, 2007
1:33 pm
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on my way
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red, this is how I interpret what she said. Of course I do not know you at all, so I may be wrong.

Some people I have known in the past have used 'coincidences' in their lives as excuses not to follow through or to not accomplish what they could accomplish without the excuses. Sometimes it may be fear that is unrecognizable that kept them from reaching their goals.

July 5, 2007
2:15 pm
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red blonde
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Hmmm....that brings to mind the Egyptian myth/story of Isis and Osiris...

July 5, 2007
2:22 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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red -

I won't EVER debate that there is "something" guiding each and every one of us. I also know that free will is a huge factor in things.

I read a book by richard back, about a guy who goes on a journey with his wife or GF, in a small plane, and the journey took them thru "layers" of his existence, where he could see what each of his decisions in his life took him - had he made a different choice than the one he did.

and the premise of the book is that there are MANY "versions" of us that exist...different "plains" where we exist and each "plain" has us moving in a different direction based on the choice that particular version of us made at that moment.

I don't even know if I am explaining it right.

Anyway, it was fascinating, because many of us think "what if" I had made a different choice...where would I be...and here is a guy who believes that somewhere in another existence, we DID make that choice, and it did turn out a different unique way.

I do believe in something different...I experienced the paranormal first hand...my daughter was conceived out of an odd situation...well, out of normal sexual activity, but the events leading up to it...was a little out of the ordinary, unexplained.

So, I won't get freaked out.

At this point, I would really think a therapist would help...if not to explain all the coincidences, AT LEAST to help you work thru the guilt/shame and such that some of the situations made you feel.

Maybe you won't ever get explanations for the coincidences...but maybe you can find peace with some of the things that happened.

KNowing why can drive us insane...perhaps the therapist can help you get past the need to know why and focus on just healing from what did happen...THEN you can go back and try to piece together why, when you aren't dealing with all the emotions heaped on top of it.

once you get all the icky emotions out of the way, perhaps the rest will make more sense, or you can see/think more clearly.

July 5, 2007
2:23 pm
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red blonde
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OMW ~

I don't mind your interpretation. I don't believe I have ever used - coincidences- to not follow through or not accomplish what I could have accomplished and have not used them as 'excuses'.

Unless I am misinterpreting your interpretation...of whom? Rising or my therapist of '91.

I have reached most of my goals and have accomplished alot. I still set goals and I will still accomplish much as my life goes forward.

July 5, 2007
2:46 pm
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red blonde
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Rising ~

Would you like to hear more about my life?

I keep saying that I am going to write a book about my life and I will do so, once it is not so jumbled up in to one great big ball! I don't think people would believe it to be true, though, they probably would think it fiction. And even if they did think it was fiction...it is -and still may become so even more - one hell of a story!

July 5, 2007
3:01 pm
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truthBtold
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red blonde,

You have survived some incredible stuff in your life. Do you know how courageous you are just to still be here to tell the story??????

Trust your gut! Try not to over-analyze if you can help it. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate your progress...and above all KNOW - that ALL OF THE ANSWERS are inside...on SOME level and will make some sort of sense in time if you just keep listening to that little voice inside and find people that are supportive of you and your journey.

Sometimes meditation and/or Yoga...or even just some simple stretching - reconnecting yourself with your body helps to just clear the mind for awhile.

Be gentle with yourself.

I know when it gets really bad for me - I just call on my spirit guide and my hoards of angels and ask for one thing...and I make that one thing VERY SPECIFIC...and then I wait and allow and become open to whatever answers appear. I have not been let down yet....just be very mindful of what you ask for and pace yourself OK?

(((((HUGS)))))) tBt

July 5, 2007
3:07 pm
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red blonde
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tBt ~

Thank you! I have to run out for a while. I have done a watercolor - staining of a frescoe piece that another artist friend has been creating....he is good at what he does with plaster, etc. but with the painting of the frescoes (some he will leave natural), HE SUCKS!

he! he!

I will be back on line later!

((((((((Hugs to everyone!)))))))))

July 5, 2007
3:40 pm
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on my way
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hi red,
I was trying to interpret what your therapist may have been saying. Then after having read your life experiences, I agree with you...you have been through much, and a book would be a great idea!

July 5, 2007
7:09 pm
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red blonde
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OMW ~

Got to think of a title for the book though! And I cannot think of one single thing!

July 5, 2007
7:16 pm
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red blonde
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What about "Simply Something Else"

July 5, 2007
8:30 pm
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on my way
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That is a great title, I'll try to think as well. If you wrote your life story in a fiction context, that would be interesting as well. But I would read a book with that title...sounds interesting!

July 5, 2007
10:53 pm
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red blonde
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DAMN! Just lost everything I had been writing!

oh well, could be a 'sign'. (LOL) I think it was just that I clicked on the wrong thing.

Should I continue on with the he/she DD? and what happened AFTER the feds screwed up the bust?

Or should I start in the beginning when I died at birth?

July 5, 2007
11:17 pm
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red blonde
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Oh, my fellow artist friend that I watercolor 'stained' one of his hangable frescoes and I are going to go into an enterprise together. We talked about it after I took the frescoe I had finished, back to him, and was paid for my work. I also picked up another piece from him to faux paint as sienna colored 'marble' finish. To show the owner of a business that he is doing Grecian or Roman frescoe with pillars around the entrance. So that I would be hire to do the finishing staining to the artwork. I had been thinking about him last night and today he called. I think he is kind of sweet on me, but he is too young for me.

I am having a problem with attracting guys way too young for me. And I am not interested in any relationship other than with my first love and that still is -scary - to me.

I won a third place ribbon on one of my Sumi-es about two weeks ago at an art show at one of the local art galleries where I live.

July 6, 2007
2:24 am
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red blonde
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I feel guilty about posting so much to the "is the Bible...." thread. It is just that I haven't had that much opportunity in my life to 'talk' to other people. So when there is a subject that I love talking about - like archaeology and new discoveries about our past, I guess I tend to go overboard.

And perhaps it is as the therapist, whom I am going to for help, says... I talk about something else, when I am avoiding something I don't want to talk about.

July 6, 2007
2:40 am
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red blonde
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I avoid, because I don't want to scare people as I have in the past. I once was admonished by a co-worker who was very Baptist. She had seen me use some of my 'abilities' which I called 'gifts from God'. She told me that she thought these 'gifts' were not from God but from the devil. She said she had read the Bible several times over and that no where in the Bible did it say that God gaves man 'gifts' as I had demonstrated. She told me that I should go home and when I went to bed, that I should pray to God to take these 'gifts' away and that she would do the same in my behalf, after reading her Bible for awhile. So I did that, prayed that God take away these 'gifts' in they were from the devil. The next morning at work, she drew me aside...and apologized profusely to me.. and told me that after she read her Bible and then prayed for me, she had almost drifted off to sleep....and a 'voice' came to her, scaring her awake...and that the 'voice' said: 'Ephisians 4: 7 thru 11'. She immediately read the passages. Then she told me that she thought I had been Job, and now was Jonah in the belly of the whale. I am still trying to figure that out.

July 6, 2007
3:01 am
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red blonde
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Boy, my spelling right now sucks! I think I will go to bed soon....
I have a hard time believing that I 'belong' anywhere.

goodnight y'all!

July 6, 2007
7:29 am
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bevdee
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Red Blonde

That woman? That bible woman co-worker person? Ah! According to her, your gifts are satanic, but hers of hearing voices? Booming scripture at her? Aren't? Hmm. My experience has been that to many people entrenched in that certain way of thinking, of looking to scripture for every answer to every question, is that it's very common to label. Of God. Of The Devil. The problem with that is that all the questions aren't in there, are they?

Keep on with your tangent- ing. Sometimes the dam needs to spill. Talk to you later.

July 6, 2007
8:39 am
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risingfromtheashes
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red - I think starting from the beginning, if possible, is better, so we can follow it easier.

when you are up to it, share away.

July 6, 2007
1:29 pm
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red blonde
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Okay Rising! Here goes!

IN THE BEGINNING, a monstrous storm was ravaging the countryside and flood waters had covered the land!
(LOL!!!!)

Seriously now....The day before I was born, there had been a terrible spring storm and it had flooded the area around my house, my neighborhood, which was really somewhat rural, no cement paved streets, no city storm (or waste) sewers or city water, no curbs, actually some of the streets were tarred gravel for about 6 blocks around my house...maybe more, maybe less...this is just what I had been told.

My mother called my dad early in the afternoon, because she had started to hemorrhage. One of her older sisters was with her and my sister who was almost 4 1/2. My dad had to park the car about 6 blocks away, wade through the water, wrap my mother up and carry her back to the car to go to the hospital. My aunt carried my sister to the car. Because my aunt was who that told me all of this decades later.

I was born an hour and a half (plus 2 minutes) after midnight. I was a Placenta Preva and a 'blue baby', they worked on me a long long time. My mother had been moved to another room and one of the doctors came in and my parents were told that it would be a blessing if I died because if I did survive, I would be more or less a vegetable...due to lack of oxygen to the brain which would have caused extreme brain damage. My parents called the Parish priest who came over and baptized me and I believe gave me last rites afterwards. I have no idea as to why they did that... Finally, they pronounced me dead. (Couldn't detect a heartbeat or any breathing?) wrapped me up and a nurse was carrying me down to the hospital morgue...and they were filling out the forms on my death. Preliminary death certificate? The nurse came rushing back into the room, I had started to cough up blood that had been in my lungs. (This is all according to my aunt who was there but I am not sure if she and my sister were in the room at that time or in a separate room.)

I believe my mother thought she would be caring for and dealing with a 'veggie' the rest of her life.

By the way, my parents named me after my mother but gave me a middle name for my mother didn't have a middle name.

So, this is why I said I was born, I died, and, then, came back from the 'dead'.

July 6, 2007
1:44 pm
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red blonde
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I weighed less than 6 1/2 pounds, was a very happy baby. My mother had to keep putting drops in my eyes so that they wouldn't dry out, because my tear ducts hadn't formed til much later, but I guess I didn't cry much either. And I was born a 'Tow head' - pure white hair.

July 6, 2007
3:42 pm
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red,

Tell me what gifts this woman was referring to please. I agree, she sounds a bit hokey!!

July 6, 2007
8:27 pm
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bevdee
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Red Blonde

Wow- you were a miracle baby weren't you? You probably had a NDE so soon after you were born. I wonder if this has given you a heightened awareness of those things unseen? A thin barrier person? I wanted to tell you in one of the other threads? About Paradox? I like the way you look up words. I do that too, and ponder. You will never be spoon fed anything, will you, Red Blonde?

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