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What I'm learning from this site -- how about you?
January 11, 2006
11:16 pm
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Anonymous
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These seem obvious to me now, but they weren't when I first started to visit this site in November:

1. I don't have to be verbose -- I can explain later if asked.

2. It's okay if people get miffed at me, and vice versa

3. It's okay to take a break from this site for a time.

4. I don't have to answer every question or respond to every post that involves me.

5. I can't rescue anybody else, no matter how much I'd like to.

6. I like having a nickname -- Seek, Seeker, Seekerw. I've never had one before.

January 11, 2006
11:38 pm
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zinnia
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Hmmm......

I can't exactly say how this site "does" it, but I am seeing progress, feeling more hopeful at the same time as dealing with some scary things.

I don't see the games being played here that I have seen in some other sites. It is easier to relax.

January 12, 2006
12:04 am
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hopeinhim
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For me - I think I see patterns in people's lives more so than if I was not on this site. I am able to respond to my own life situations in a more healthy manner.

And, I would second what seek says and say - taking a break is healthy, and you don't have to write a very detailed book when relaying experiences.

I would also say it is not a popularity contest, and isn't that a refreshing thing!

I also am encouraged by other Christians I meet, and yet openly welcome and consider what other people with different beliefs have to say.

Love,
hope

January 12, 2006
4:16 am
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Worried_Dad
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1. I have a lot to learn.

2. I want to learn it.

3. My emotional reactions can overcome my good intentions.

4. It is easy for me to unintentionally hurt people.

5. It is easy for me to unintentionally help people.

6. I am not very conscious of my hurting or helping of people. I am largely unconscious of how I function inside of other people.

7. I have a lot to learn.

January 12, 2006
4:23 am
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Worried_Dad
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8. I want to learn it and despair of my ever learning it.

January 12, 2006
8:01 am
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kasie919
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Seeker: I knew this was you, just from the title of the thread..
I love You !!!

1: I have alot to learn

2: I am slowly changing

3: i have some wonderful friends andsupport.

4:I am so co-dependant but am changing

5: no one can hurt me here

6: i can laugh and feel free.

7: i can say my most intimate thoughts and not get judged..

8: iknow im not alone,and alot of people have been or are still in the same situation.

Last but not least I am getiing the best ecduaction about all aspects of life..

Thanks seeker:
you are truly wonderful....

Love kasie

January 12, 2006
8:28 am
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darling
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Wow worried Dad, I was trying to think of what I've specifically learned here, and came up blank.

Then I read your post, and realized that you said exactly what I was feeling and I didn't even know I felt that way!

Its is funny how someone I've never met can put down in writing things I feel so thoroughly, and yet I didn't know I felt that way until I read it. Thank You.

January 12, 2006
4:08 pm
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kathygy
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The most important thing I have learned is how very much I've grown and changed over the past 25 years.

I am a completely different person than I was when I was 30 years old when my path of personal growth began.

However, I see that I still have more work to do because sometimes my buttons still get pushed here.

For example, if I feel that someone is judging me and completely misunderstanding me I feel very angry. A button is being pushed in me which I need to explore and work through.

I have also learned that I have a lot to say that is helpful to other people. I enjoy that very much.

January 12, 2006
9:58 pm
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What I'm learning from this site...

1. This place is a microcosm of every day life…we are on these boards who we are in person!

2. We get the unique opportunity to study our words and feelings in real-time.

2a. We get the unique opportunity to study the way we relate to others in real-time.

2b. We get the unique opportunity to "revisit" a moment in time; this has been a priceless tool for self-discovery, confronting issues, and measuring my own growth and progress.

3. There is an innate quality to our human nature, which makes us want to reach out to help others even when ourselves are hurting. I don't understand it as much as I admire and stand in awe of it. I've seen it illustrated a million times during my short residence here.

4. Not everyone is going to like me and that's OK!!!

5. We have a fair, knowledgeable, and generous SC whom I would love to have lunch with some day.

6. Seek has a knack for starting really great threads.

January 12, 2006
10:13 pm
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Rasputin
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I learned so many things:

1- It's fun board to be at, full of funny folks.

2- That I have soooooo many friends and they are my cyberfriends and I love my cyberfriends.

3- That it is as serious as relaxing haven.

4- That there are folks who crack me up here whenever I read their posts and I love these folks so much!

~Ras~

January 12, 2006
11:27 pm
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Anonymous
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Young and Restless,

"Seek has a knack for starting really great threads."

Thanks. I guess I have to make up for the fact that I don't own any fancy threads, so I have to have them here in cyberland instead.

I like your other points, too, especially number 3. I think it's because it feels so good to be able to help somebody else.

January 14, 2006
5:00 pm
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Anonymous
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Seek,

Threads are overrated!

It's your heart that matters

* smile *

January 14, 2006
8:32 pm
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kasie919
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I am learning that if you see a thread and it sounds VERY ANGRY!! stay the heck away from it!!
dont contribute, just let them talk to themsleves, because this is not a confrontational place...

whew!!!!

Any body in with me????

OMG!!!!

Kasie

January 15, 2006
1:43 am
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Anonymous
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Y&R,

Thanks again, as always, for your insight into threads. You must be a fashion designer or something. :o)

Kasie,

Good insight. It's too easy to get caught up in conversations here.

January 15, 2006
1:49 am
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Anonymous
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Here are some more things I've learned from this site and in "real" life lately:

1. It feels GREAT to be involved with other people. I've kept myself hidden away for many years, and I love being out in the open at last. I've never felt so alive as in these last few months.

2. I have a problem with stereotyping women. I tend to think they're basically the same, but I'm finding out they're not.

3. I don't have to be so redundant. In other words, I don't have to repeat myself, or reiterate, or say the same things over and over again.

4. I don't have to be so forgetful.

5. I don't have to be so forgetful.

6. I'm learning to avoid cliches like the plague.

Take care, everybody!

January 18, 2006
1:15 am
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Matteo
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seekerw,

I have a problem with stereotyping women. I tend to think they're basically the same, but I'm finding out they're not. Are you seriously serious? Do you think that all men are the same as well??

Wow! That must be a big discovery for you! What a Progress!

January 18, 2006
12:15 pm
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zinnia
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ok, curiousity here 😉
seeker, did you think we were basically the same as MOM or as J-LO????

Nice to see you grow (((hug)))

January 18, 2006
3:52 pm
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readyforachange
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1. Someone here will always bring up a point you hadn't ever considered about a problem you are having....and it's good to get new perspectives.

2. I don't have time to come here often, but when I do, I enjoy finding out what is going on with everyone and how much everyone is growing and changing.

3. On a more practical note...I do not do well at responding to posts that do not use capitalization, spaces or punctuation. So I don't. I've tried, but my aging eyes and ADD brain just can't handle it....

January 19, 2006
12:04 am
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Anonymous
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seekerw,

{Are you seriously serious? Do you think that all men are the same as well??}

You mean they're NOT!!??!?!?

Pardon me, I have something to report, hot off the press:

7. I am learning that not all men are the same, and I shouldn't stereotype them either.

{Wow! That must be a big discovery for you! What a Progress!}

You're either being sarcastic or are happy for me. I choose to believe the latter. I hope you will tell us what you've been learning from this site, so I can cheer you on, too. :o)

January 19, 2006
12:18 am
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Anonymous
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zinnia,

I was thinking (hoping, actually) you'd all be the same as J-LO. You mean you're not?!?!?! (Seriously, I don't even like J-LO. I don't think she's all that attractive.)

No, I just thought women felt similarly about men: that they'd be attracted to/repulsed by the same traits in men; they'd feel the same way about sex; they'd like the same things regarding dating. But they don't. It's probably obvious to everybody else, I know, but this is what comes from not having much interaction with people over the years.

(((hug))) to you, too, and thanks for your encouragement.

January 20, 2006
1:27 am
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Matteo
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seekerw,

It is both. I am sarcastic and I am happy for you. As well for the ladies in your life 😉

As per request, this is what I learnt from being at the Support Threads. I am writing exclusively about the Support Threads, because except 3 times here, at Liberation Brew, I was always posting (and reading) on the Support Threads. I am posting it here, hoping not to offend anyone.

What I learnt on this site is:

That it is truly amazing feeling when many people give me feedback at the same time and I have no better comparison so far as being in a room with mirror walls;

That some are very finely tuned to my feelings and to what I write about;

That some do appreciate what I write;

That some have no clue whatsoever what am I talking about;

That some read what I write and clearly don’t read what has been written;

That some channel their anger caused by the events in their lives on others, who are complete strangers;

That some are extremely judgmental;

That sometimes I am judgmental;

That some think that I am judgmental when I give them feedback saying that they were judgmental;

That some think that I am attacking them personally when I am attacking their point of view;

That the two above indicate lack of mental well-being;

That “codependency” is a very broad term which means so many things as almost means nothing;

That there is such thing as codependency in a much narrower understanding;

That some happily label everybody as codependents;

That some clearly are codependent;

That there are others who think that there is a big difference between codependency and unhappy love, just like I do;

That some think that love is a choice;

That some can shut their feelings off to distance themselves from themselves and others;

That many are trying to control their feelings; hide, suppress or ignore their feelings, and are feeling guilty about having certain feelings, often to get close to others and be accepted by them;

That some seem to think that they are always right;

That some seem to think that they don’t know anything while they are truly wise;

That some think that everyone who posts here lives in U.S. A.;

That there are many who periodically re-arrange their furniture, just like I do;

That some thought that all women are the same, but now they know better;

That many have a great sense of humour;

That some have an amazing sense of humour and can find it even while being at the bottom of their pain;

That some have no sense of humour at all;

That many understand and talk about Creator in ways which are extremely offensive to my understanding and beliefs;

That some do the opposite to what they preach;

That some tend to think that their advice or criticism should apply only to others, but not to themselves;

That some actually do what they advise to others;

That there are so many good people around;

That some are extremely compassionate;

That good heart and compassion are sometimes not enough if there is no broader understanding;

That there is so much suffering around - that often my own, not the easiest life by any means, looks like a picnic;

That it is truly amazing and admirable how some, against all odds, can rise and walk through their lives with dignity, compassion and love for others;

That there is a sound reason behind how my life went so far;

That there is a name for whom my mother is, just like I suspected and denied it for a long time;

That there is a name for whom I was;

That I still love G., and that most probably he will remain the Love of my life;

That having an intimate relationship with him wouldn’t be an easy act; in fact it would be much more challenging that I previously thought it might;

That with him or without him the rest of my life will be bright and happy, because I am in peace with myself;

That I should always trust and respect not only my feelings, but also absolutely trust my stomach (gut feeling) and my intuition;

That the Site Coordinator founded this site from her own pocket – her life savings;

That I have a “Sister in Love”, a person in another corner of the World who has very similar experience to what I am going through, almost identical reactions as I do, and that having an opportunity to relate to her through this site is truly priceless to me;

That this site is a wonderful place to receive a lot of support and understanding when in tremendous pain like I was last summer;

That it would take me years of “therapy “to find answers to my questions which I found thanks to this site and the posters here within less than two months, and that I appreciate it wholeheartedly;

That now when I am not in pain, reading the posts, often, for various reasons, makes me upset, and it became like an unfit relationship which goes on for too long, when you see all what is good in your partner, while knowing that the relationship is not the best for you and that you should leave, because you both grew - but also grew apart;

That I should leave, although it is not easy, because I like many people who post here, and I would like to visit my “Sister”;

That being here enriched me tremendously in many ways, but now I am done here, and it is time for me to move forward.

I wish for everybody to be treated in their lives the same way they treat others.

January 20, 2006
2:35 am
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Anonymous
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Matteo,

Thanks for sharing. Best of luck to you in your post-site life. Everybody needs to move on at times.

Seeker

January 20, 2006
7:07 am
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lollipop3
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Matteo,

It seems as though you have learned so much about PEOPLE in general by belonging to this site. Everything you have described here, to me describes us all in one way or another.

Reading your thread has taught me that we are all different, yet we are very much the same in many ways. It has taught me that we can be different and still respect and learn from each other.

It has taught me that no matter what our differences are we all experience pain, joy, humor, loneliness, sadness, setbacks and triumphs.

It has taught me why is so important to learn to communicate with each other.

It has taught me to tolerate our differences and to take comfort in our commonality.

Thank you for sharing this.

Love,
Lolli

January 20, 2006
12:45 pm
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garfield9547
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Matteo

I hear your leaving. The best for you.

I feal sad and always wished I could connect with you.

We are very different and so the same in a way.

Just something for you.

I looked at that thread:

New Year's Word Assosiation...

I took all the words that you gave and here goes....

??
belly
animal
love
giving up
sex
yuck!
vulgar!
miracle
death
submarine
bathtub
windows
heart
free!

Hope this means something to you

love
Garfield

January 23, 2006
10:14 pm
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Anonymous
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I shoot off my mouth (keyboard) too much.

I get so pressed for time I often don't give a well-thought-out reply.

I'm a bit of an oddball on this site in many of my views.

It's okay to be an oddball -- at least, that's what I keep telling myself.

I still have a lot of work to do on learning how to connect with people.

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