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WD's Smut and Porn Emporium
December 30, 2007
2:14 am
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Okay here's one of the problems I'm having with this "burger."

Supppose it was discovered that 90% of men liked to eat their own poop while sitting on the throne. The "decent" of these men brush their teeths afterwards and keep it, or try to keep it, private and personal. They hide their eating poop fetish.

Well, I'd want to be with one of the 10% that didn't eat his own poop, because that is just really gross even if he used bleach to brush his teeth with.

It's gross.

free

December 30, 2007
2:44 am
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Here's other problems I have with this.

1) It's hard to believe that men who watch porn don't take those thoughts and images into the bedroom. Should I just say "close your eyes honey and imagine I'm begging you to fuck me up the ass" kuz I think he probably does that anyways after watching that crap.

2) I've a problem with any human being ceasing to exist once a man comes. Coming shouldn't be the "be all end all" and other people are not objects.

3)men don't have to watch porn to have sex without tending to someone else's needs. Masturbate. That's what women do.

4) "And besides, if you had a choice between your guy renting a video and renting a person, which would you choose? "

Another partner.

finally: "just because people's tastes don't match mine doesn't mean they're wrong"

If it hurts people, and porn does, then yeah, it is.

free

December 30, 2007
3:17 am
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Hi Free,

That's a good one.

Suppose that we discovered that of the population of sexually available men and women, that 99% of the men and 90% percent of the women sometimes enjoyed masturbation, and did not want to give it up?

I have heard from many women that a big problem throughout their adult life has been men complaining that the women not only need direct clitoral stimulation during sex to achieve orgasm, but that they can only achieve orgasm while using *their own hands* to masturbate during sex.

I was surprised to find out just how many women never have, and as far as they are concerned, will never have an orgasm without assistance from a vibrator. Lots of those women have expressed their desire that they could have the vibrator be part of their loving, intimate, sexual relations with men.

Lots of men don't like that. The men feel left out, second-best, objectified. They think that well, if the woman needs a giant pink vibrator for sexual happiness, then I am really a second-rate participant here--heck, why didn't she just marry the vibrator?

Some of them think "Well, orgasm isn't the most important part of a relationship--it's also about commitment--we have commitment and now she wants orgasms too?"

Sure: The vibrator does give hugs and kisses and does not massage a woman's tired shoulders after work, does not pay bills, take the kids to soccer practice, watch the 3,000th re-run of "Pretty Woman" and say "Ummm, yeah, Honey that's really romantic."

A vibrator does not pick a woman up after work, does not call in sick for a woman with a hangover, and does not bail a woman who got in a drunken bar brawl out of jail.

Still, though, if you ask me, we men ought not to begrudge women their vibrators. Because that would be inhumane and also unproductive.

And yes, the vibrators sometimes have inhuman proportions and sometimes unearthly shapes. That doesn't mean that your wife wishes she was married to hugely hung cuttlefish from another galaxy--it just means that she wants to be sexually satisfied, so suck it up, guys.

Take my ex fiancee, please.

Her complaint was about how the previous men in her life ridiculed her sexuality. She liked it that after seven months of increasing intimacy, I accepted her and loved her, despite the fact that my idea of a good time was a little different than hers.

The last jerk she was with was actually so ungallant as to yell at her:

"All you think about is music and art and sex. And you can only get off if you're being fucked in the ass while playing with yourself with a vibrator! Do you think ANY Normal Woman would ever want that!?"

She said to me: "So what?!! Is that so wrong?!"

What the heck was I supposed to say?

I am kind of depressed about losing that relationship.

And it will always eat at me...the suspicion, that I lost it because I was not "good enough" at tying her up, smacking her ass hard enough and doing her in the butt. It was like I wasn't...rough enough for her or something.

I could have learned to be rougher, I'm sure, if she had just given me a little more time. I would have done anything for her, anything.

I just miss the guitar playing and the singing and the astonishing works of visual art we created together.

Wow, I'm really getting off track here.

December 30, 2007
4:00 am
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wd I'm really sorry for your loss. It just sounds to me like your ex-fiance had some sexual issues going on that she hadn't dealt with. Wd, I really don't think she was healthy in her sexuality, and I know that's subjective, but I really think something was goin on that wasn't healthy.

I gotta think on the other stuff.

yeah, I thought the poop thing was a pretty good one! Original 🙂

free

December 30, 2007
3:04 pm
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free2choose
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A friend of mine LOVES rough sex.

She LOVES it doggie-style, hanging off the bd with her hands tied behind her back.

She is a lesbian, but likes to be "fucked with the biggest, widest dildo a butch can strap on." (Her exact words.)

I find it needless to say that she is definately the exception and not the rule.

I could not be her partner. I could not do that to her. To me, I would feel like I was degrading her, objectifying her, hell, HURTING her.

She says she like sex the best when she bleeds.

WHHHHHHHAAAT???

Just because ONE woman feels this way does not mean that they all do.

Not even CLOSE.

I have been with 10 women in my life and I am a woman myself and I have NEVER, not once, had a woman tell me to fuck her till it hurts, till she bleeds.

And if she did, I'd tell her to get some fucking therapy, cause she's got issues.

But hey...we all are different, right. We all got our kinks. What right do I have to call someone's sexual prefrences pathological.

But there is a BIG HUGE difference between a few women liking rough sex and PORN.

If an individual woman likes rough sex, who's to know but the person giving it to her.

But most women I know prefer intimate, loving, respectful love making.

When's the last time you saw that in hard core porn??

I can say NEVER.

December 30, 2007
3:38 pm
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Well, porn in general is not intended to depict intimacy or lovemaking, and I wouldn't expect it to.

The porn I've seem did depict mutually enjoyable sex, though.

December 30, 2007
4:07 pm
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lol, WD, she is a good writer. Made me laugh.

As for me, I am so glad my man does not view porn. I'm glad I dont have to deal with a man who wants to hang out at strip clubs or watch someone else screw on tv. Im glad that I am his object of desire and nothing or no one else. Selfish? No I dont think so. Blessed. Lucky. Respected. For sure.

I am not naive enough to believe he does not ever take care of his own needs at times. In fact, I am thankful that he does, lol as long as I get my time with him too on a regular basis. I understand that sometimes its just easier for a guy to do it himself, so as not to have to worry about having to please his woman too. Less time, less effort, less work. Im cool with that. But once again he respects me enough that he does not announce that he has just chosen Rosie and her 5 sisters over me. He is always discreet, secretive, and I love that about him.

As for porn. Like I said, I could never be with a guy who likes any kind of porn. Call me square. Call me whatever. But I am in a career where I deal with the harmful after affects of pornography. Where porn takes over the mans life and less often a womans life, wetting his appetite for other women, other people, other things. You see, what we feed our mind wets all of our appetites for the things we do not have, if we are not careful. Take for example, when a commercial for a nice juicy steak comes on tv, just when we are hungry. What do we do? We start thinking about it, can almost smell it in our minds, that commercials words and pictures driving us to the point of seeking out that steak place sometimes that very day. Thats what commercials are supposed to do. And I believe thats what porn does.

I have a hard time believing that when a man watches a woman do whatever he wants in that porn film, looking gorgeous, perfect, and oh so perfectly responsive, that he eventually does not start wishing he had that in his own life. And then eventually starts going out and looking for it, becoming unfaithful to his wife or gf. I see it in my office all the time. Those dark secrets that men never want to admit to their guy friends, or to their partners. I hear it all.

Not only that but I hear then and see them cry when they can no longer get satsified with their woman bc the fake porn girl is so much more exciting. Before porn was introduced into their lives, they had a somewhat satisfied sex life. By that I mean, both were satisfied sexually but lack of time and the busyness of life making it less convienient and less romantic with kids sleeping in the next room over, not having a romantic vacation since little johnny was born 4 yrs ago. Ah, the differnences between old love and new love. Suddenly the beautiful wife sleeping next to him was no match for the 19 yr old blonde with DD's and a penchant for rough sex.

It puts married men in a difficult position, this porn movie industry does. Do I leave my wife bc now that Ive watched this porn I cant get satisfied with my wife? or do I have an affair, looking for this hot type woman that I believe to be real from my porn movies, and hope I dont get caught? Or do I continue to live our married life, hoping I can get over this lack of need for my wife, pretending to be a happy husband and family, which the marriage does eventually end, most of the time (much like a plant without water eveutally withers and dies as well).

So for this reason, I do not believe porn is a healthy choice. It can become addicting, leading to men seeking prostitution, more porn, more women, massage parlors, strip joints....anywhere he can find it. Im dealing with a guy who has to come home for lunch every day from work to view it on his computer bc he can not stand to go 8 hrs without viewing it. He started out watching the movies, then it went to all of the above situations. At times he takes his work lap top out to his car to view it there. Eventually he is going to get caught, and loose his job, which he can not afford to do, but he can not stop himself. His wife asked him to choose between his life with her, in their nice big mansion, or his porn. He cried bc he knew he could not give up the porn. So now he lives in a crappy apt, alone, with his porn and massage parlors, that he can not stop himself from. Sad. Now hes trying his best to get his old life back, without the willingness to change himself. It aint workin.

Another example for women, myself included. I am reading a romantic novel right now, full of sex and romance and candlelight. In every romantic novel I read, both partners come at the same time, the man knows exactly where to find her G spot and knows exactly how and when to touch her sensitive areas at just the right eact perfect time, w/o her saying a word. At times after a heart racing page, and a whole lot of fantisizing, I have to reel my mind back to reality, back to being thankful for what I do have, and not what I dont have. Dont get me wrong. My man can make me respond every single time. My heart races, my body sweats, but I can tell you its not like in the books, where we both come together, where his timing is perfect, and where the g spot is right where he left it the last time lol. And I dont have an addictive bone in my body, yet a book can have that affect on me if I am not careful.

So to all of you out there, be careful what you feed your minds. It makes you want to go out there and find that thing you are missing in your life. Its basic cognitive psychology..our thoughts affect our mood/emotions and our mood affects our behaviors. So if I am watching porn I will start thinking about porn and if I start thinking about pprn I will eventually someday start acting on my thoughts. IN the same way a negative thought will illicit a negative emotion and that negative emotion will then determine our behavior.

Is it really worth the risk, for just a few moments of pleasure?

As for the ex fiance who liked it rough. I guess I am a firm believer that the ideal mates have to be sexually compatible. You werent compatible with her.Not your fault. Not hers. It is what it is. Eventually that would have become an issue in your marriage or relationship. right around yr 10 or even 20. I see it in my office all the time. So save yourself for someone with the same taste in sex as you. It will be worth it in the end. a whole lot less hassle and heartache. a whole lot more satisfying and fun 🙂

the wall

December 30, 2007
4:27 pm
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Right, WD. Porn does not "depict intimacy or lovemaking".

Which is what the majority of women I know and talk to crave.

The majority of porn is catered to the fantacies and desires of men.

So if what you see in most mainstream porn (like that of the titles I listed in the other thread) is what the average man wants;

And intimacy and lovemaking is what the average woman wants;

It is safe to assume that that would crate a problem in the bedrooms of some men and women. A division.

I guess I should thank my lucky stars that God mademe a lesbian.

December 30, 2007
4:33 pm
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ps...

Wall, will you marry me???

LOL. JK, but really, I loved what you had to say. The part aboutthe romance novel had me ROFLMAO!!!

Way to keep it real!

December 30, 2007
4:40 pm
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thewall
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lol free2 choose,

thanks 😀

December 30, 2007
6:05 pm
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Hi theWall,

Well, my prob with my ex wasn't sex--I think it takes time to really get in synch, but I felt we were pretty compatible. Except I wasn't comfortable experimenting with spanking while her protective 100 pound dog was in the room. Actually, I would rather no one else be in the room during lovemaking--even a dog.

I think it was her impulsiveness that wrecked us.

Porn-wise, I think it really comes down to ask how do we feel about *masturbation.* Is it ok for a person to masturbate? Do we really care, or want to know what a person fantasizes about when they masturbate all by themselves, behind closed doors?

Does it matter if they are single, in a relationship, or married?

So many men have a problem with female masturbation--particularly during sex, particularly if they need to use a vibrator, particularly if they prefer a black, penis-shaped vibrator the size of a heroic zucchini.

("Heroic Zucchini:" that could be a good name for a band.)

But if that's what helps the woman get off, what's the harm?

December 30, 2007
6:05 pm
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"to all of you out there, be careful what you feed your minds."

Exactly, wall. Everybody is so conscious these days about food - watch out for toxins, preservatives, carbs, whatever. Those of us recovering codeps see it as a sign of mental health when we start respecting ourselves enough to treat our bodies well. We take care of our physical health. It's not always easy in the face of multi-billion dollar industries that manipulate our desires, and some of us are more susceptible than others to addiction once we start eating sugar-packed junk food (for one example).

I think our sexual health deserves equal consideration. And there's a huge big industry out there that doesn't give a damn what the effects are on the consumers of its products.

I've been reading some posts at the porn addiction websites. Lots of misery out there, for both people with compulsive porn habits and their partners. A lot of people who wish they had chosen better mental furniture. But once you've got that balky, ugly, uncomfortable sofa in your living room (analogy) it's hard to get rid of it.

December 30, 2007
6:34 pm
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WD

rofl......... lmao @ "Heroic Zucchini". Sounds like a great name for a vibrator. You may be on to something WD.

yea, I dont get the spanking thing either. Prefer my sex life, gentle, loving, safe, pain free. But to each his own I guess.
And Sex without orgasms would be like exercise. Who wants that?! Whats the point? Its such an awesome release..healthy, fun, improves seretonin level, endorphins.....
.... Heres to good mental health, however its reached 🙂

You said:

"Porn-wise, I think it really comes down to ask how do we feel about *masturbation.* Is it ok for a person to masturbate?" Yep

Do we really care, or want to know what a person fantasizes about when they masturbate all by themselves, behind closed doors? Nope 😀

Does it matter if they are single, in a relationship, or married? Nope

not IMO at least. But hey, I'm just a blonde from Indiana. What do I know ;).......... I'll never tell.....

December 30, 2007
7:12 pm
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Oh, wd.

Oh, wd.

there's Porn, masturbation, and erotica.

they're not mutually exclusive, and they can be dependent events.

But they are most certainly NOT the same events.

free

December 30, 2007
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And then there's unwanted mental furniture....

just found this item on Yahoo Canada's homepage when I went to check email. I didn't go looking for it... just like this 10 year-old girl didn't:

By The Associated Press

COOKEVILLE, Tenn. - It's not what Santa intended.

A man in Cookeville, Tennessee, is thinking about suing Wal-Mart because the MP3 video player he gave to his little girl for Christmas turned out to be loaded with explicit tunes and porn videos.

Daryl Hill says the 10-year-old child burst into tears when she saw it. He says he just wishes he could get those "thoughts and images" out of her head.

Hill figures the player must have been returned by somebody who had loaded it with sex clips and songs about drugs.

Wal-Mart says it's investigating because returned items that have been opened are not supposed to be resold.

In the meantime it's offering Hill a replacement. But he says he's going to hang on to it until he talks to a lawyer.

December 30, 2007
7:48 pm
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You are equating Women's use of a vibrator to Men's use of porn.

That's like trying to make peas and carrots into the same vegtable.

Yeah they are both vegtables, but they are NOT the same. Not even close.

December 30, 2007
8:41 pm
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thewall
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lol free and free2 choose are right, IMO. They are not the same thing. Peas and carrots, rofl.

Masterbation is just getting off. Nothing more, usually. Its just an act, like exercise, cept with a happy ending. Doesnt have to involve the mind at all.

Porn and erotica feed the mind, the eyesight, then the mind responds to what it see's. I have to admit, I dont know much about erotica though so I'll have to stop here.

December 30, 2007
8:44 pm
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December 30, 2007
8:55 pm
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Let's see, sex toys are about masturbation--brutally severing the act of love from the heart and soul and reducing to a mere physical function--

Like the wall says "it doesn't have to involve the mind at all."

How like a woman!

It takes men from being whole beings with hearts and spirit and feelings and reduces them to a simulacrum of their most delicate parts--fashioned in the shape of a heroic rubber zucchini.

And men aren't supposed to take that personally?

December 30, 2007
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Some men do- and some men are threatened by the size.

December 30, 2007
9:08 pm
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thewall
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Rofl.

Aww WD. you worried bout yer size hun? Its not the size that counts. Its what you do with what you got that does!! (and I do mean that.).

Well sex for a woman does need the mind. Its her biggest sex organ. But men are different from what I hear. But Im not a guy so what do I know?

December 30, 2007
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Hi thewall,

Thanks for caring.

Personally, I am not sexually active and don't have a heck of a lot of interest in it these days. Some people are monogamous--I'm currently practicing and experiencing the joy of Non-ogamy ((C) Worried_Dad 2007.)

I was actually trying to make a point about masturbation--namely that it is properly a private activity. And if we pry into the most private part of a person's sex life we are asking for trouble.

A man who really, really insists on knowing what rubber appliances a woman keeps in her bedside table to satisfy her secret needs had better be prepared to roll with it.

And I say the same thing about women RE porn.

Better just to let that very private part of people's lives remain--PRIVATE.

Don't ask/don't tell. But if you absolutely must ask, be prepared to be a good sport about what you are told.

And for the porn-viewing segment of the female audience, I certainly don't want to hear about their enjoyment of "Big-Cocked Cowboys" episodes 1-7.

It's none of my darn business.

December 30, 2007
9:38 pm
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rofl. very well said. Dont ask a question unless you are prepared for the answer. Got it.
thanks Wd. What would I do without you

December 30, 2007
10:31 pm
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Romance novels? aren't they fiction? anyone can write about perfectly synchronized sex and the perfectly candlelit room with the down duvet , and little fido sits quietly at the foot of the bed .Paintings in text.

I'm not being the party pooper but that is rare to find....and it isn't always with the person you love!!

Back in my lost promiscuous days,(still a little lost but not promiscuous,hehe) I had a short sexual romp with a guy I didn't like much.I met him at a huge weekend party on a farm. I was performing a dance routine with a friend and shortly afterwards he drunkenly chased me through a field (never caught me, whew!)He was tall lean and handsome but not much of a spark for me. When he sobered up i went to see him in his flat. He had his motorcycle in his bedroom, wasn't very suave or well read and was very animalistic. I had revenge sex with him (i was with a real womanizer at the time) and he was the first and only man who ever made me orgasm without clitoral stimulation or much foreplay. I was baffled! basically rubbed that in my BF's face, then dumped the guy ( i really didn't like him at all)
My partner today was the first guy who gave me multiple orgasms with little clitoral stimulation also..I also liked him but i wasn't seeing the whole picture.

I think I would prefer being with someone i really love on a personal level then work on the sex if it's bad. Communicate!
Wow!That is so old fashioned arranged marriage kinda thing.....but some traditions are spot on!

Sometimes we love a person who doesn't "fit" with us sexually, sometimes it's the other way around.Sometimes we have to work at getting along verbally, emotionally and physically. We strive for that Harleqin romance or that short story in Playboy.
What a good relationship is is an investmen not a lottery.
Very few win the relationship lottery so the rest of us give up and opt out for the easy? Porn is EASY!
The thing about porn is it lacks any commitment accept to please yourself. It is removed from having to plaese another person.
I would be wary of a guy who "invests" in porn , rather than dating REAL women..that says a lot. Yea. Porn has it's space on the pie chart to me. If it takes more than 5% I'm passing this guy onto the next whore. Cause that's what he really wants.Shows he wants instant gratification and not have to sacrifice or GIVE much but a few deep thrusts. It shows he's about the EASY, and it's all about him. Not good spouse or father material.
I would hope men have some impulse control and look beyond the fact he gets a hardon while asleep every half hour or so.He's not sleeping in the porn store and the erections don't happen during the day!
Yea a man has a penis and his sexual makeup is different and more instantanious than a womans but that doesn't mean he has to fuck or pull or watch porn all the time.

The ammount of focus on sex is the question. Does the focus border on healthy behaviour or an obsessive selfish need? Is it a fix for what we lack in our community and relationships? Is Porn part of the BIG LIE we are being fed, that only drains us all of our dignity and blocks us from contented lives?
Women are built to give birth. Our sexual antenae are meant to attract an impregnator. That is our sexual destiny. Do most of us go around trying to get pregnant? Do we tell every guy we date..."I want babies" on the first meeting?
Heck Most of us allow ourselves to be sex objects and remain childless because??
If a man tends to look at women purely as sexual objects I think that is rather selfish and immature.
In more primitive times men KNEW you were going to produce offspring and most didn't have the options9media based) we have today. Being a father was part of the picture?
Today in western society we live in a WELFARE STATE.....meaning we have low birth rates and the majority of the population is swaying towards geriatrics..yet we are so oversexed it really is sickening!
We have huge swathes of people who are in child bearing years that are childless.( and i'm not talking about those who can't physically have children themselves)
Why!?
Disease, babies.nah!on going relationships that create intimacy?...Sex has become enshrouded in addiction, fantasy and "tit"ilation.
For all the sex going on so many ARE empty and lonely.
I am so glad i had a child because that is the most satisfying thing. The love for a child is complete, consuming and matches that of the best romantic partner. I don't know many men who think different.( men that are HEALTHY mentally have a real bond and need to love their kids, and if they don't have kids like their neices and nefews and show up at the BBQ's) Men that are totally self indulgient and objectify women, dislike kids I stear way clear from.. How many men are robbed of this bond due to sexual addiction and commitment issues? How many of these men would rather go to a strip club, get a lap dance or watch porn?
They aren't free!
Well everyone has their place i suppose, but the problem lies when the whore or the womanizer brings it home to the naive spouse. There lies the breakdown that isn't much fun. There is the distruction. The addiction secrets that destroy the ones you love.
Does life imitate Porn or Porn imitate life?
How many want a commited relationship yet end up moving onto the next.and the next.
Today It's all about total indulgeance without regard for consequences for many. Anything goes and thats ok if people get their needs met. BUT there are more people every day who aren't getting those needs met. The messages are getting blurred and lost through the process.
When it comes to intimate sex, has all this openess made realtionships easier for people?
Pleasure with a PERIOD. DONE. The most intimate act has turned into something robotic? Ya hit the freeway and soon enough are on the off ramp to the next stop.
We are consumerist ROBOTS. We aren't allowed a life of our own, families, kids but we gotta buy any and all the crap that we are exposed to.
Porn is like McDonalds to me. It's there, everywhere, it looks flashy and has all the marketting genius money can buy, it tastes good but it isn't good for you . Once you start eating it you get addicted to the sugars, fats, salts, meat and dairy.

You can always walk past and eat at home or go to a small family restaurant that makes real food.
With Porn You can always go up the Drama, Comedy, Foriegn isles instead. Heck in most movies you get a little sex, but usually you get the package: the romance, build up, the conversation, the kiss that doesn't go further. The co-stars and extended relationships.
You can have porn less than monthly, weekly, daily??
Think of dating a real person, regardless of the time or frequency, compaired to giving that time and $ to porn?
Come on. BE BRAVE! Isn't that important to men as much as sex?
IMO the more we rationalise and make room for the porn industry (with it's pathological emphasis on anal penetration) and allow it into our everyday lives the more we tear at our very inner selves and do damage!
Yea, It's Like ANAL.....it may feel good to some , if they are prepaired, but it can tear and hurt and damage so that we loose control and shit all over ourselves!
How Nice! Was it worth it?

It isn't a JOKE or FUN when you look at the anal casualties. The stories you don't hear about or see, because WHO would wan't that to "leak out".
Hm it works for some, but it seems anal takes a huge chunk of the porn market now. That proportion doesn't match the reality of those who can do it or enjoy . PORN doesn't show the preparation work done for an anal scene. Many of the particiapants are experienced, some are COERCED!. Some porn stars are permananently damaged from anal.

Some porn is ugly and causes emotional and physical damage.

Sex has become ONE dimensional!! A lot of how we live our lives has lost dimension...Many ignore the total picture and are never happy with their sexual experience.
Anyone who indulges in something just because it's there has little impulse control.
There is a lot to consider when we take the most powerfull element of ourselves and decide what to do with it.

I agree it is a real mind fuck overall.
I'm not a prude but I think moderation and impulse control is a huge factor.

Porn isn't necessarily filling a need as much as it is ROBBING men and women of real relationships,IF it is allowed so much room in a persons life.
One thing i do know is that most of the men i've met and "rangled" with, the ones that were the most problematic and inconsiderate were the porn watchers and the ones who were sexually abused as children. Most of the bad experiences I had were because of some guy who saw it in a porn movie and thought it was a good idea to act that way.
They were either stealth ( manipulative got what they wanted then were gone)or they were blatantly out there with there desires.
And me? I never watched porn until my thirties!! How dumb was I? A total catch to the well informed basement porn addict. Yea. It teaches men so much!

December 30, 2007
11:12 pm
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Time to change the batteries in my vibrator.....I mean KEYBOARD!
LOL

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