Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Varieties of Human Sexual Experience - Part II
February 4, 2005
1:33 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi twinks,

no, sarcasm is a way of expressing anger, and is intended to provoke an emotional reaction.

argumentum ad absurdum is a way of showing that if you take something to its ultimate conclusion, that it does not make sense.

It's just another way to get at express the idea that

"0 does not equal one."

I think onmyway is kind of hearing me based on her quoting of me. What I was presenting was on the one hand, the reality of courtship, mutuality versus the idea that we never need to delya our gratification or sometimes just give for the sake of giving.

February 4, 2005
3:50 pm
Avatar
workinonit
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Interesting twist this. I can see for myself my own problem is not being true to myself so.......If that comes up again in the sack I'll just say...no thanks and go straight to the ADULT BOOK STORE!!!! lol

February 4, 2005
4:56 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

What an interesting thread. For me, a beginner, or one in a stunted growth of this subject; I will just enjoy learning what others say. Thanks for sharing.

February 4, 2005
5:00 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Question: how do you all know that if you mention all this 'sex things' to your partner, that they won't think you just too permiscuous? If they are straightlaced as you/I may be, wouldn't that send them running the other way? Just curious as heck.

February 4, 2005
6:10 pm
Avatar
cuthul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, I suppose, I am 100% honest, and that seems to work.

I am selective about who I sleep with, but I also like to push the boundaires of sexual expression. I am not sure how, considering I have a hard time in trusting, but I have a air of trustworthyness.

I usually date nice, proper girls, who are curious about getting a little wild. Not always, but mostly. Corruptor? Yes. But on the flip side, I also am a defender, and when acting as a guide, I make sure the person I am with feels comfortable. Be that, my lover, or just someone who wants to see what a bondage club is like for the first time.

February 4, 2005
7:19 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sewunique,

Well, if you are sleeping with someone who respects you, loves you and wants to enjoy your sex life together, you will usually get a postive response to just talking about fantasies of things you want to try.

February 5, 2005
12:00 am
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD, you bring it home, you can see the simplicity and the truth behind two people who really love each other. That is good.

February 5, 2005
3:09 am
Avatar
workinonit
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well sew, I feel if they don't agree, this can be a problem for sure!

On the other hand, a person eventually needs to stop worrying about what other people think. This is sort of where I am now.

Do what is right for you. Think about sew for a change. Of course, this is my opinion. Humble or not.

February 6, 2005
9:04 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just reading over these responses and all I have to say is I guess I agree; if two people care about each other, then let it fly. Guess you have to find that special someone first. Untill then, just fantasy land in the mind; because I never have had that opportunity. Ones who have are lucky. People I know never dare talk about sex let alone share their married secrets. So maybe that makes me a prude? Then again, I have one partner sexual experience couple times this past year and found out there isn't anything wrong with me being able to be sexually responsive in a dynamic way. (Which coming out of a bad marriage doesn't do much for self confidence, anyway.) Maybe I will just have to continue to read about it and maybe someday it can happen. So if this thread continues, I'll be around asking and learning. I am glad the ones who can talk about sexual expeeriences are willing and able to share with others.

February 8, 2005
10:42 pm
Avatar
GullyFoyle
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents on an earlier post.

Sometimes, the delay is the gratification. And yes, it is control.

Cuthul - the interesting thing about he D/S situation is that it appears that both participants get to work on issues in a safe, for concientious participants, environment. Both work on issues stemming from both sex and other interpersonal problems, whether they realize it or not. Eventually, if they are paying attention, they come to a better understanding. I know it is that way in my case. It's kind of like - fun play therapy.

It's all about growth.

Gully

February 9, 2005
8:53 am
Avatar
Juanita
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 27
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Speaking from my own experience (good grief - some of you know).... Although you may love and trust your partner, absolutely GOOD communication is a biggie in the bedroom (or whatever room you prefer).

I have in the past 2 yrs done an extreme turn around (well, to me I did).

My spouse told me of his top 5 fantasies (after 14 yrs of marriage mind you) .... I love my spouse, trust my spouse, but some of what he suggested was too mind bending for me.

Take your time! Know your partners' limits! Don't just all of a sudden dump all your kinkiest fantasies onto them if you know they are of conservative nature! Holy moly, I've been thru a year of various remedies from anti-depressants, counseling, and learning how to express myself back to him.

On the up side - yes, 2 fantasies granted. Considering a 3.... perhaps a 4th.

I might be conservative, but I have always prided myself on having a relatively open mind (with time).

So, from personal experience, you need Love, Trust, and mostly GOOD COMMUNICATION.... and good timing!

February 9, 2005
9:15 am
Avatar
GullyFoyle
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yeah, there's a reason why they call them "fantasies". Most people have been so intimate with those fantasies that when they blurt them out to their significan other, well, it can be shocking. Some fantasies should remain private and personal, just between you and your therapist.

On the other hand... If, like you said, you have love, trust, good communication (good is the main point there) and good timing, it can be tremendous!

Man, I was just thinking, there is nothing like the human experience. I am glad to be alive!

Gully

February 9, 2005
9:22 am
Avatar
SweetAmanda
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Are you afraid that if you don't fulfill his fantasies that he will leave you? Or that he will be unsatisfied with you? Or that he will love you less? Do you feel like he sends you that 'vibe'?

Like gully said... they are fantasies. I have some too. I know that I will NEVER act on them. But hey, I'm still gonna be content!

February 9, 2005
10:30 am
Avatar
Cici
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I love sex, I hate men.

I've gotten the clap three times in the last 2 years, all in "longterm relationships" with men who were "faithful".

assclowns.

February 9, 2005
10:54 am
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cici,

That is what I am afraid of; STDs so I will, if ever, be most cautious in any future endeavors. From my little lbit of experience of dating this couple months, that is hard to be cautious and I find they want one thing: sex, and that's before even dinner and a movie! I am worth more than that,, I have more class in my left hand than most men I have met here. So their loss, I am planning my own life and have many friends that I can have fun with than that dating scene and all the work and heartache.

I am learning alternatives to that. My GYN nurse practioner referred me to Betty Dodson's bood and video; "Self Loving". So glad you guys are as invisible here as I am! But we are sexual beings and heck, men do these things, why not women? I hear it is called; self pleasuring, a bit softer touch to the expression.

Sew, still growing

February 9, 2005
11:28 am
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cici,

Did the clap three times happen with one, two, or three guys?

February 9, 2005
12:15 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sh** once is enough...poor Cici. Is this stuff regional with higher percentages? Just starting to review my learning about HIV.

My father (bless him, can't believe he's telling me this stuff at my age), told me that southern Florida is filled with HIV. All the elderly population is so crowded here, and the men keep trying to date younger women! Give ME a younger man! Anyway, the older population believes they are not that prone to get aids, so they do not like using protection. How risky is that? Nope, don't need an older man, either, cuz they are not safer than the next person. Just going to take care of myself.

What do you all think about requesting your future sexual partner to have an HIV and STD lab testing before you engage in any sexual activity? I think also, if he is truly 'into you' he will agree and wait until tests come back okay. Is it unreasonable to ask this?

My 68 year old neighbor said she required all her men to be tested first. She may be exaggerating, don't know.

February 9, 2005
12:59 pm
Avatar
Juanita
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 27
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am past the worrying about what my spouse maybe thinking - but let me testify to the fact that Men are from Mars & Women from Venus language differences are alive and well!!

Sometimes I think there is pressure in just the verbal expression of some desires... ie, I want tonite to be the best night we've ever had together - what if its not??

I think go with the flow, if the vibes are right and you try something new .... if your partner says no, then No. If your partner says or demonstrates they like it.... well, continue. Perhaps explore some more, depending on the mutual pleasure level.

Lord, I never thought I'd do some of the stuff I've done, and definitely never thought I'd consider some of others. But, definitely, the heat and passion of the moment can greatly help, or hinder, what your partner wants to do. You have to know your partner's limits.

Trust can broken or damaged by saying, suggesting, and/or attempting to do something your partner does not want to do, or isn't ready for yet.

Sometimes being ready takes a long time, and perhaps will never happen for some or in certain instances.

February 9, 2005
9:01 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sewunique,

You need to date a better class of guy. Not that there's anything wrong with a guy being attracted to you, but if you just jump into sex without developing any kind of relationship--well, it's not a recipe for success, is it.

I think men tend to be reckless that way and let their gonads do their thinking for them. It's not that they neccesarily JUST want sex, it's that they are willing to put aside common sense in their pursuit of it.

February 9, 2005
9:59 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks, WD, I know. That was very kind of you to respond back with such practical sense. And that's what I'm now settling for; only the best. Guess it was my turning point in becoming single and such lessons I learned! You heard about my 'split a chicken tender meal for a date' story? And he got the 2 for 1 beers free, cuz he complained it took them so long to tap the beer!

I know, guess I needed to learn fast, but was risky business. Bottom line, mutual respect for each other would be a simple start.

Yet, I think my chances of finding anyone worthwhile, are slimmer than your computer matching service results! At least you WILL be successful in your pursuit; I can just feel it.

February 10, 2005
1:21 am
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sewunique,

Yes, exactly-"It's the respect, stupid!"

A guy thats just gotta do ya on the first date isn't exactly sounding out your soul.

And I'm not being prudish--I can understand mutual attraction. But jeez, guys, I think a woman will let you know what she wants.

Well, maybe not. And that reminds me of the title of this thread. Guess I have a story in me.

Not to totally dis the honorable topic of anal sex, but I just wanted to warm up to the general subject of what lonely people go through in their search for love and honorable sexual fulfillment before plunging very deeply into specific acts.

What I am realizing is that women are also very sexual beings, just like men. But their emotional lives tend to be expressed differently and they have different communication styles than men. And comedy sometimes is the result.

February 10, 2005
2:14 am
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

So, way back when, I had this friend named "J." We had some..not excatly dates, but nice times together. Walks around the lake. Good conversations.

At the time I was into smart girls with real short hair, and I felt attracted. So after a pleasant evening, I asked her if I might kiss her. Now I was Mr gentle and tenative with kisses in those days. But eventually it got to some deeper kissing, and she promptly said "you are turning me ON!"

That was a first for me. We did end up in bed that night, but didn't have intercourse. At her moment of satsfaction she just about crushed my head with her thighs. Jeez.

Later on she confided "When you were kissing me I just wondered when you were ever going to get around to using your toungue."

Anyway, it turned out that she had had the hots for me for quite a while, and my being slow, tenative, gentlemanly, gentle was really kind of...well, making her wait too long. But she never actually said so...just made me make the first move and then was impatient.

So I think that sometimes women are quite the horndogs, too. But somehow it ends up being the man's job to initiate things. I mean, she probably could have gotten me going quicker if she had just said so.

Anyway, it turns out that I was just a sexual distraction for her on the way to something else. I of course, fell in love with her and was really hurt when she dumped me unexpectedly. She didn't like me talking about love. I was quite offended by the fact that the guy she ended up with next was such a bimbo. You dumped me...for thaaaat?!

February 10, 2005
8:57 am
Avatar
Juanita
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 27
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

There is no accounting for class or taste, WD. She really missed the boat on passing on you.

However, my slant on woman initiating things is that I used to be intimidated on being the aggressor (not so much now). I was afraid of rejection. After all, used to be he'd complain I didn't start stuff enough & when I did, he'd purposely say 'no' to give me a taste of my medicine. He'd want it 24/7 given the chance, but I'm sorry that my appetite wasn't as big as his... and I didn't feel I should have to "perform", so to speak, if I was not in the mood. Hell, I was actually told - you don't have to do much, just lay there & sleep. (oh, yeah, baby, lay that love talk on me some more - NOT!) That hurt when I was rejected and crushed my spirit for asking for more. To buy a special outfit, don it, and then be rejected after the effort.... oh yeah, makes be want to try again tomorrow. Funny thing was, he'd let me 'experience rejection' for about 2 hrs & then change his mind & come looking for me. Sometimes I think if I would not have married my HS sweetheart, I would have been more sexually aware of ??? (lacking right word).... well, just AWARE!

I've also found out, when dating way back so long ago - the men liked to pursue. Be the hunter kind of thing. If they knew I was interested - forget all about it - they didn't want me, or they thought I was easy prey that would be easy to lay. (NOT!)

I think its a double standard for women & their sexuality. Can't come on too strong or too soft.

For me, I'm thinking, you men should be able to read the 'signs' if I'm in the mood or want you to kiss me. Can't you read it in my eyes?? Dialated pupils and all?? Pulse beating harder that you must be able to see in my neckline... how about my breathing - it's a little quicker when anticipation is involved.... slightly flushed cheeks too? The signs are there if you look for them.

AND, could you, as a man, please tell me why (as I am greatly perplexed), some men can greatly flirt with women, know how it affects them, & then go? I mean, come on now. Get the female all hot & bothered, and then walk away? Repeatedly? They used to call women like that *ock-teases. What do we call men like that? Double standard.

Personally, though, I think you know I admire you & believe you possess a number of great personality traits. Sometimes, though, because you are so wise & intelligent, that can make a person like myself a "wee" bit nervous in thinking I may not be intellectual enough for you to hold your interest. I wonder if you have a number of admiring women around you who may feel the same way? I don't know, just a thought. Like how some men are intimidated to approach beautiful women, so a woman may be intimidated to approached a very intellectual man.

February 10, 2005
8:59 am
Avatar
SweetAmanda
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sew,

I do the self-love thing too. Hell, that's how I first learned how to orgasm! I was always afraid and stopped myself any other time I was about to. I like to make it special. =) That's what I think is different. (Between guys and girls) Again, there I go stereotyping! LOL But I pamper myself with a bubble bath, then I go do some exploring.

LOL Was that TMI?

I've never bought anything though. Toys or lubes or anything like that. I'm still afraid to. Eeek!

February 10, 2005
10:19 am
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Whatever happened to the phalic-crusader? We lost him...hmmm...very interesting. See what happens when you miss being here for awhile, you miss the ending.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
36
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38542
Posts: 714222
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer