Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Use to enjoy this site......
June 12, 2005
4:22 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Sew but I'm done w/ Deena.

June 12, 2005
4:52 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ok..........anytime.

June 12, 2005
5:03 pm
Avatar
Take Heart
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I was just thinking. Can we not write a seperate thread with his name in the subject line? .. I noticed he hasn't responded yet and like all of you, I am extremely concerned.

June 12, 2005
5:06 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just atart a thread............Luv2luvher, where are you, or what ever. Your ides..........go with it. then we can post daily to pop the thread up....so he can see it when he gets back

June 12, 2005
5:26 pm
Avatar
Take Heart
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sew-thank you. I hope I did it correctly.

June 12, 2005
5:45 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good job! Now we can post to pop up the thread every so often, or it gets lost at the bottom of the pile.

Let's hope and pray this person is okay.

June 12, 2005
7:33 pm
Avatar
Deena
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sew...what do I need to be addressed of on libs brew? I didn't think I said anything out of line. I didn't mean to be confrontational like I stated before. We have been going thru these issues with people feeling they are being "attacked". That is sooo not the case. We all have different personalities and insite on how we see things. Some may be more positive that others, However when you post on a thread- you are welcoming all opinions.

June 13, 2005
4:13 am
Avatar
Take Heart
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

So worrying that we haven't heard back from Luv yet. I hope hes okay, poor guy.

June 13, 2005
7:21 am
Avatar
peacesoul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Wow, this is intense.
I think Luv, you're lashing out at this site only because you had hopes this site (and people's insight) were going to be your "quick fix".

We're all here for the same reason...to add to our healing.
You cannot make this site your #1 choice to heal.
Like others have said, we have all had our moments of disagreements on these threads, but that's what happens when a bumch of emotional people gather, we cannot throw ourselves into "oncoming traffic" when we feel we're been slighted.
I am sure whatever was said to you was nothing personal.

I understand your pain. I think MOST of us here do. There are more days (than I would like to admit) where I felt I was going to end it. You're not alone with your feelings.

Now having said this, I think it's very irresponsible of you to come on here and threaten you're going to end your life. People here are now worried.
I think it's all fine and dandy to come here and ask for help and to even be so dramatic to claim you're hurting enough to want to end it all, but to actually threaten it and have others here worried, is not cool!

Do not use this site as your overall healing tool, Luv, you need therapy.
You also need to come back on this site and let others know you are ok.
Like Deena said, she is not worth it. No one is !

Good luck !

June 13, 2005
7:32 am
Avatar
SoulSpirit
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

peacesoul... you said what I have been thinking since yesterday. People here are loving, kind, and more than willing to "add to their plate of life" to help someone.

Those here are not professionals in the field of psychology... they are everyday folks ... and typing something isn't the same as talking one on one... it opens the door for miscommunications sometimes.

Luv.. You are loved, maybe not by the person you want to be... but you are loved by more than one. Love them in return, and let them know you are alright.

June 13, 2005
7:44 am
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Wow, I am totally impressed by you guys! So well put and gently but firmly. I live to learn each day.

Yes, Luv, you need to please get back to us out of decency for yourself and respect to us and yourself.

We are just a bunch of people, who have many deep wounds and some with a lifetime of traumas, abuse and still trying to sort things out and heal. We are only here to help each other in the best way we know how, that includes you.

Sew

June 13, 2005
7:47 am
Avatar
starshine
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh my Gosh, look at how all of us good codependents are looking to help this guy. I hate to be the odd man out, but a spade is a spade. If this guy is determined to end his life, he will do it regardless of what is said or not said. If his agenda is to die, he will (again) do it and it's not because of anything we did or did not say. He is scape-goating all of us, and using this site as yet another (I'm sure) excuse. We were all left haning yesterday, and everyone is soo caught up in his drama. Does anyone get that, or is it just me thats angry that he put his Sh*t off on us? Yes, there is care here, there are things that are said that can be considered hurtful, but it's like the Al-Anon program says..."take what you need and leave the rest"...This sight is one of many tools that we can use to help us get through the tough times...but there is much work to be done when this computer shuts down. Apologizing in advance if I offended anyone.

June 13, 2005
7:53 am
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Starry,

You are correct in what you say. I think, at least I, am trying to give the benefit of the doubt that we show we do care. What happens will and we have no power to influence, unless the open hand is taken here. This site clearly has a red crisis link that is quite visible.

Well, this it for me here. I have to take care of banking to prevent foreclosure today. There are tough things we all encounter, sometimes it just takes some of us more drama and learning time in school to get going ahead and live life!!!

Sew

June 13, 2005
9:11 am
Avatar
Deena
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hey peace...
Girl, I was wondering where you were!!! I was feeling alittle drama coming on and felt you would be here. LOL
I agree with what you said 100%. This guy says this and now all of us are left here to sit and wonder. I feel he is a coward. Sorry. I feel it is very pathetic to let your feelings for a women force you to committ suicide.
Slicing wrists? Take pills less messier. I get sooo annoyed that people always try to take the easy way out. Deal with your life.

June 13, 2005
9:13 am
Avatar
SoulSpirit
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I didn't say anything yesterday because I am fairly new here, and didn't know the "rest of the story"... I was frustrated yesterday, and tried to find the words necessary to say something in a positive vain... I believe peacesoul got the ball rolling.

I would be so sad to know that Luv has done something to himself...but I can't stop him. That in itself is sad...but to watch people worry and stew and be upset about it, and some in what appeared to be almost panic mode ... was even sadder. We can love, but in this case it is from afar, and nothing we can do will stop his choices except prayer.

June 13, 2005
9:38 am
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Maybe I am one of the uncaring, insensitive posters referenced... but I heard DRAMA written all over this post.

June 13, 2005
9:51 am
Avatar
kc30
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm a little behind on this...what was the "trigger" thread that set this in motion? Sounds like luv got some advise he considered rude? I would like to read it....

What I will say...what I do see here, no offense, is passive aggressive attention seeking behaviour- generalizations and no specific examples. I am guilty of this myself...that's why I see it here.

Perhaps a direct response to a "rude" poster, followed by detailing what it is you NEED from people right now when you are posting (ie- I need to know I am lovable, worthy, special, etc), would be a more assertive way of handling the situation and ensuring that your needs get met...not just here but in real life as well?

Just a thought...

Apparently there is a suicide thread or something going too?

I would ask for anyone on this board who needs help, support, attention...whatever it is- to BE DIRECT!! Please just be straight forward and ask for what you need.
If I can't give you what you need (ie- support a person's denial) I will tell you, and will still support you as a person.

kc

June 13, 2005
9:53 am
Avatar
peacesoul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Deena, do I seem like a drama queen?..haha. Of course I love a good drama, but not to this point. Not to the point where a lost soul is threatening to end his life.

I don't think he's a coward for wanting to end his life. I just think he is in so much pain he doesn't know how to process it and he was hoping this site was going to "save" him.

People who chose suicide are not cowards (in my opinion), they are just in so much pain and cannot see any way out.
I do, however, think he is a coward for stating he was going to "end it all" and then not post back here.
We cannot control what Luv does with his life. He is the one that chose to be "rude" and "spiteful" by posting such a disturbing post.

Deena dealing with life's pains does not come easy to everyone. We all have different thresholds of pain. It seems to me that Luv is holding on for his ex for dear life.
I too used to get annoyed at others for being so weak, then I fell down myself and thought" RUH ROH, I fell down and boy this is TOUGH" !

I think Luv is lashing out at this site b/c he think we may give him the emotional boost he needs to get over his ex. I don't think he has ended his life. Most people who decide to end it, don't tell everyone first.
All we can do is wish our misguided solider the best !

June 13, 2005
10:14 am
Avatar
Cici
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This has come up so many times in the last 5-6 years I've been posting here.

Look. What you have are words on a screen. You miss the tone of voice. People who are CODA get defensive and respond with anger, especially when you touch on something true.

I have seen this a lot because I tend to be a bit abrupt when I write. I wish I could predict how others would respond to what I write but I can't. Spent so much time trying to do that. Now I just take the tone of what people say with a grain of salt. It's an anonymous site like a support group. It's not like you really should take everything to heart.

(I should state in every post: This is Just My Opinion. Don't Get Offended.)

June 13, 2005
10:15 am
Avatar
Deena
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

very well said Peace. But I still do beleive people trying to take their own lives are taking the easy way out of trying to get better and deal with life. Hey, everyone has those thoughts at one time or another but who's to blame but themselves. Not everyone else. That's cowardly. I guess I really find it hard to have compassion for that. There are sooo many people here that have overcome HUGE obstacles probably bigger than not having the love they wanted. And they are still around to offer advice and support to others.

It's a shame that most people are sitting here wondering if this guy is alive or not. He doesn't even care enough to post back. Selfish. That what I feel.

June 13, 2005
10:17 am
Avatar
lollipop3
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Peace-----

I agree with you when you say people who commit suicide are in so much pain they just don't know what to do. I've never been in that position myself and can't imagine how much pain one is in to even consider such a thing.

I think that you are correct in that most people who want to die don't tell others. I've been to two funerals this year alone for friends that have killed themselves and although they had eluded to the fact, when the time came they didn't tell anyone, they just did it. At this point I believe (or at least I hope) what Luv is doing is crying out for help.

Also, to everyone here....I think there is a big difference between "honesty" and self rightousness that basically boils down to insenstive cruelty. We all know the difference. I, for one, know when someone is being honest with me out of love (which I can take) and when someone is being judgemental under the guise of "honesty" (which would cause most of us to become defensive)

Please let us all consider our motives before we decide to be "brutally honest" for someone else's own good.

I wish us all peace and happiness.

Lolli

June 13, 2005
10:36 am
Avatar
site coordinator
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi luv2uvher & everyone else!

I’ll start be saying in general, that Cici’s post is correct in saying that posts like luv’s has happened many times on these threads in the past.

My 2 cents: Most people, when in luv2luvher’s situation (feeling abandoned, left alone, hurting, wanting someone that we love with all of our hearts to “come back”)… when in this situation, any ounce of resistance or lack of empathy can feel like ‘the last straw’. But these boards can’t fix everything, they can’t give us all of the love and nurturing that we need. As much as they do give, they can also leave us wanting more… so what’s the balance?

We are anonymous here, and it really is our own job, to work hard in developing our own personal skills so we can be our own healers and nurturers. That’s part of what these threads are for – to learn how to do that. For every ounce of support and feedback we get here, we also need a pound of self-reliance. Sometimes, when we’re so low, we really do, have to pull ourselves up by our boot straps. It’s hard.

A cry for help is ok, but being verbally abusive ‘back’ to others who really care, and to those who are hurting just as much, is also abusive, rude, and unkind. My advice and recommendations, is if you have a problem with someone in particular, please assertively address that individual, rather than these threads or everyone in general as this thread does. One of the healing skills we can develop here, is the ability to take responsibility for our own words, actions, and reactions. We’re anonymous, so we can take the risk in ‘being responsible’ - being irresponsible is easy.

Peace everyone.

SC

June 13, 2005
10:44 am
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree...

June 13, 2005
10:44 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((Luv))))) ooooh i wish i read your post yesterday, and i wish i was there for you!!! i was so busy at home and didn't check out this site since 3:30 pm yesterday.

I want you to know that even though i am anonymous, i have read many of your posts and know that you are going thru so much pain at the moment, and yes feeling abandonded, and with your son not being around as much....i do care!

I truely hope you are ok!!! my prayers, thoughts, love and hugs are sent your way, and I truely wish you could post just to let me (us) all know that you are ok.

(((((please Luv)))))) just post here and let me know how you are.

Camer

June 13, 2005
10:49 am
Avatar
SoulSpirit
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well said SC

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
32
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38542
Posts: 714222
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer