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Use to enjoy this site......
June 12, 2005
3:09 am
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luv2luvher
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I use to enjoy coming to this site until people decided to be so "Rude". I mean I am hurting and sometimes feel like dying inside and all they can come up with is I am dwelling. Well you know what that is probably why a good majority of the people here have there problems... Because they gave up on there problem or what they thought was there problem... I love my ex, and I miss my ex, and all I share here is deep from within my heart and do you think for one moment that I don't wish I could move on and not think of her? Well, hell, if it was that simple do you think I would share it with a bunch of strangers? Well, no more, I will not come here for comfort no more, and when I don't have nowhere to turn, I will slit my wrist and I will end it. This was like my last resort when I came and found this wonderful place, but some of the ppl that are here now are just plain spitfull............. To hell with this I will just keep my feelings inside and kill myself... I would just like to thank one person that gave me strength and that is CAMER.... But I havent heard from Camer in awhile.... so I am out of here... Wish you all the Best (sarcasm)....

June 12, 2005
3:24 am
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coddi
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come on we all are hurt on different ways I usually case is not the first dont write that much, some people express their emotions in different ways, but one thing I can tell is that if this is your first brokenheart, you dont know what to expect, but in my case I know that feeling and you will went thru thinking was this person worth that pain, in your case your life. Think for a moment in a person that really love you and how hurt it will be if you decide to hurt yourself. This is a point of no return and you will have no 2nd chance. This is not all about us,even when we think our pain is the worst of the world. Listen, have a nice rest tonight and helps us all with a good advice you can use for your own benefit at your no-rude style, so people here that need to learn have the example.

June 12, 2005
3:28 am
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luv2luvher
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That made absolutely no sense at all.... I mean come on... There are many ppl here that have great advice.. but then again I think the crappy advice that other ppl write is off the wall... They don't take in the feelings of other ppl... Like yourself.... I don't care if I die today or tomorrow... It is no sweat off your back.. You don't know me... but that will be something the world will miss without me... I don't care if I don't know you, your life is more important then mine.... So when someone wants to lend an ear and talk to me but not judge me then maybe I will respond.... .

June 12, 2005
3:31 am
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luv2luvher
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just also thought I should add, I have been divorced from a women I had been married to for 4 yrs. and with a total of 8 yrs... So I know what a broken heart is... I am 29 for christ sakes and I think he is calling me home.....

June 12, 2005
3:37 am
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Worried_Dad
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luv2luvher,

Well, you do get the occasional rude poster here. Most often, folks do not intend to be insensitive. And there is a strong CODA culture here which I think sometimes can contribute to people telling you to "just get over it" or whatever. Don't let isolated rudeness make you bitter.

June 12, 2005
5:29 am
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Take Heart
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Hi,

Ignore the rude posters. You have every right to post here for gentle support and encouragement. Just focus on the people who care enough not to hurt your feelings on top of what you already have to deal with.

Please~ dont go through this alone. I can really feel your pain. Just keep posting.

June 12, 2005
6:02 am
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Rasputin
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Hey Luv2,

Do Not give up! Perfection does not exist. People express their opinions in different ways. Look at the bright side, many people here are warm, symapthetic, empathetic, wise....So why not consider this aspect. As Take heart said: ignore them, perhaps this is their way of experessing their ways, without any ill-meaning.

You are an interesting guy and I enjoy reading your posts!!! Please do continue to post!

Take heart, we are here to continue to cheer you on!

(((Hugs & Prayers)))

June 12, 2005
6:55 am
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sewunique
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Hi luv2,

I used to read the threads 100%, but I can't anymore, so I missed what happened here. I am sorry if you were offended or felt shot down by someone's comments here. It does happen sometimes, we are just people here who for one reason or another are hurting. Sometimes someone can say something and never intend to be rude; it just comes out that way, or they themselves are dealing with an issue and are really hurting and things can be said that do not come out in the best fashion.

But you also sound like you are hurting really badly right now. Your comments about others seems to be affecting you and adding to your grief right now. Sometimes when we are hurting alot, other things seem to make us super sensitive.

I know we are an anonymous bunch here, but I guarrantee you, I am flesh and blood with feelings just as you are. We are just behind a screen, just as you write emails to your friends. Sometimes it is hard to write here and not know who that person writing really is, but somehow we do have relationships on this site with sharing of each other's problems and lending an ear and offering support to each other in what ever way we can. I think most people here are really caring and compassionate.

I do hope you post back and share what is going on with you.

((((((((((((big warm hugs for you)))))))))))

SewUnique

June 12, 2005
7:33 am
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Becoming Stronger
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luv,

It seems your just not ready to let go yet...and when you finally are ready to let go you will know...

June 12, 2005
8:32 am
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mamacinnamon
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luv,

I have no way to read most the posting that are put here. I have seen your name but don't remember having gone thru and read to keep up w/ you pain. Therefore, I probably have no right to speak out at this time, BUT... I will.

I am sorry you are hurting so very badly. Pain runs at different levels. It affects alot of us in different ways. Since we are "behind a screen" as I think Sew put, we have no way of see how deep your pain runs unless you put it out here on this screen. When you or anyone puts their pain out there is always a chance of gettting it stomped on. Sorry, but the fact. I have been coming here since last Oct? and just this week put my whole story out to be seen. Why? Because when I have tried in the past I was not believed or snickered at and told "oh, come on, nobody would do a thing like that". (not here on this screen but where I am)

I guess what I am trying to say is that the diversification that runs these threads is not gonna set well with all of us. For me, thre is one that jumps threads just to "pick on" anyone that brings up anything religious, screaming guidelines each time, although if they read the guidelines they'd find the person who posted was not out of line at all. I have chosen to ignore this person. There will be some folks that YOU just have to learn to "live with" and ignore here just as in your daily life there. Make sense?

So, please do not let the ill manners of one or two cause you to jump into such a state. Instead, stay and talk to the ones that are genuine, that care.

Sir, your life has a purpose. I cannot begin to predict what that is, but it is there. You have loved ones besides "her". I'm sure your pain runs deep and if you choose to talk about "her" then I am sure there have been those that have been compassionate and supportive. Focus on your loved ones and your purpose and if you want to focus on "her" then that to is your choice. But please, do not give up your life for any petty person.

All I have said I speak w/ love for you as an individual due respect. I validate your sorrows; I empathize your pain. Stick around and I think you'll see that we are not all bad. 🙂

June 12, 2005
8:58 am
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whisper
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I know exactly how you feel.. i often wish there was a magic wand to help us through the pain. I too often do not have the skills to cope with pain and heartache... the only thing i know is one second, one moment, one day at a time....I live with pain on a daily basis... and i am still here... but its bloody difficult sometimes...

I wish we could all give you a big hug...

June 12, 2005
9:34 am
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Tumbleweed8
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Luv, I apologize for not reading all the threads. I was feeling like most didn't care about my problems so I only started checking my thread and a couple others to see if I needed to respond. Thankyou for expressing how you feel which is something I couldn't do before. I hope you will keep expressing how you're feeling because you have certainly helped me by doing just that. I wish you the very best and I'm sending Hugs, too.

June 12, 2005
9:57 am
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lollipop3
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Hi Luv,

I haven't been here much over the weekend, so I'm not really sure what happened but I wish you would reconsider.

I also had a (minor) problem on the site a few weeks ago, however, there are so many wonderful, caring people here that I just couldn't let one incident take away from all the good that is here for the taking.

Perhaps you could use the same advice I was given. Let the person/persons know how you feel in an assertive (not agressive)way. Let them know that you feel hurt and/or disrespected by whay was said and explain why you feel that way. I'm sure whoever it was did not intend to be rude and if you explain how you feel perhaps they will be able to see how their behavior offended you and they will be a bit more sensitive in the future. After telling them how you feel.....then, let it go. It's all you can do and is a good exercise in letting go. (I know because it worked for me).

As far as "checking out" goes, the only thing I can say is this. Yes, we may be anonymous here and we may not know you, however, I have been to two funerals in the past year for people that have commited suicide and believe me, people were hurt. Their friends, family and children were all devestated. It is a pain that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

I know you are hurting right now, as many of are, but there is help out there. If you are having the feeling that you'd like to end it all, please reach out to someone. A family member, church, friend, hot line, someone. Reach out to us, we are here.

Good luck to you, you will be in my thoughts.

((((hugs))))

Lolli

June 12, 2005
10:45 am
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LUV2

Reading about how despondent, and 'unheard' you are feeling right now is very concerning.

Please post back, so that we know you are alright. It's terrible that you have been made to feel 'wrong' for having feelings - which should always be treated sensitively.

I felt like 'checking out' too, recently. But a combination of things, including my own stubborn will to live, held me back.

When I first found this site, it was CAMER who responded to me first, and I always remember feeling 'heard' and really appreciated her advice. Since then, I have discovered how amazingly generous with wisdom, insight, empathy and humour most everyone is here.

As with all cross-sections of society, there will aways be an element of unhelpful comments. But just try to filter them out.

Also, maybe this thread will send a message out to those who type before they think, that we are all hurting here, and do not need to be verbally "shaken"...

Sending (((((((hugs))))))))

~love charlie~

June 12, 2005
11:21 am
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stardj0
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i know exactly how you feel about wanting to kill yourself.. that runs though my mind almost everyday also..the guy i love probably would not even care if i did..and he is the one that i did it over..that is the sad part of it all...i just wish there is something that i could do to hurt him as much as he has hurt me..but then what good would that do me?? except to see him suffer a little?? he has done so much to hurt me and sometimes doenst even realize he is doing it and at other times he knows what to do to hurt me and does it with such full force..unfortunately i am such a careing person and care so deeply about him.. and he could care less if i lived or died..i honestly dont get it either.. when he was using crack like it was going out of style he seemed to care so much about me..but now that he is in rehab and working..he doenst even have the time for me..and it hurts me so badly because i have done SO MUCH For him and all i get is a slap in the face..well i think the best thing for me to do is just let it go..and maybe he will realize sometime what he lost..the best thing he ever had in his life..but then it might be too late when he finally realizes it..i am hurting as much if not more than a lot of people in here as well..but i know that i do have some family members that would be so devistated if i were to kill myself..that is the ONLY thing that really stops me from doing it...well take care..best of luck ...i dont know what else to say i just feel like running out the door screaming down the street and banging my head on the cement until i hurt no more..but then if i lived they would probably commit me for the rest of my life....

June 12, 2005
11:45 am
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Deena
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Sorry...but Im goona be a "rude" poster here. I am truly sorry for the pain yu are having. Most people here are in the same boat, but talking about killing yourself over some girl????? Please. You need to get a grip. I hope this makes you mad enough to think about what you are saying (and typing here) This was your last resort? Come on dude? Every think maybe you need help beyond here? Then you seem to get pissed off when people give you an opinion that you don't want to hear.

I feel sorry for you. God is not calling you home.....maybe the devil is.

June 12, 2005
11:49 am
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It appears that Luv has followed through with his plan... if you read the thread "LOST COMFORT"... I for one, am quite worried...

June 12, 2005
12:15 pm
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Deena
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tc...are you serious? I just read that. That makes me sick to my stomach. I was hoping he would read my post and get pissed and respond. At least we would know he was around. Why do people do this for love? It really makes me sad....:(

June 12, 2005
1:49 pm
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sdesigns
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I don't post on all of the threads- only if I have something to offer. I think in this case it might open the eyes of some posters that the manner in which they offer their opinions may not be supportive or caring and may have consequences. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone as I have seen this time and time again. Posters feel they have a right to give their opinions (and they do) but they really should consider how it will be received. If a person is hurting badly and asks for help, sometimes the abrupt and clinical way some advice is given can be taken harshly and increase the pain for that person.

I feel badly for your LUV, I really do.

SD

June 12, 2005
2:01 pm
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on my way
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Luv,
your post above has helped all of us realize a few things about outselves as well, is that some need to be more sensitive to those, you, who are hurting, thank you for this. You have just contributed to making it a BETTER website.

I agree with the concerns for you of everyone above. Keep posting and we will do our best to help you through this.
hugs to you,
omw

June 12, 2005
2:52 pm
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Deena
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sdesigns....opinions should be welcome. Sometimes keeping it real and telling people the other side of things may be alittle more realistic, rather than being too sympathetic. Ever hear of tough love? I guess I am a "bad" poster. There are always 2 sides to everything. One you want to hear and the other you don't. People shouldn't take offense but rather listen to the two.
(not trying to be confrontational- okay)

Luv...I honestly hope you are okay. She's not worth it.

Peace to all
Deena

June 12, 2005
3:10 pm
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sewunique
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Luv,

Hoping you are okay, this is a serious matter if I read you correctly here. If you are feeling this much in pain, posters here are not professionals, just regular people and things can be said in the wrong way or taken the wrong way. Please, I hope you have called a crisis line. At the top of the threads here, at the Home Page, there are the crisis numbers. I am sorry I posted very late and had hoped you were okay, but now I see you have not responded back and this is a great concern.

If someone or something said of anyone offends a poster, we should not let it go. There are guidlines for this very reason and reading the guidelines does state to confront what the situation is, and the correct way to do this, but not to stuff it and let it bother you. Some people think being rude is okay, or saying something to shock a person to set them straight is okay. It is NOT. Caring compassion goes a long way here when we are hurting. BUT, If you do not say anything to the posters message, how does that poster know they were rude or out of line? Or that they hurt you by them being rude?

Please post back to let us know you are okay. Just warm, open, caring concern for you here.

((((((((((((((((warm big hugs for you)))))))))))))))

Sew/C

June 12, 2005
3:39 pm
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sdesigns
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Deena: For whatever reason you decided to address me in your post. I did not address you and I will not respond further to your post as it does appear to be confrontational to me. Enough said.

June 12, 2005
3:45 pm
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sewunique
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FYI; you guys, maybe SD you could take this to Libs Brews and address to Deena? Just a suggestion here.

Peace

Sew

June 12, 2005
3:49 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Luv, If you're reading, I sincerely hope you got the help you needed and I hope you are okay. Hugs!

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