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this for tez & guest -1
August 16, 2002
8:22 pm
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Guest_guest.

You said:

"last night i saw these sexy chicks, as sexy as can be." Yes, there are plenty around and there is one for you.

and "... but i have an inability to get be friends with anyone," this is your downfall! You tell yourself this and you act it out. There is an old saying, "Give a dog a name and he will play the game." It is so true. You have been told the lie, that you are worthless in so many ways and you believed it, taking it on board as a fact. Now you are telling yourself the same lie over and over.

I've seen a beautiful woman with guys who have personality plus. What does it take to get have a good personality? All you have to do is to forget about yourself and what you think other people are thinking about you. Then all you have to do in to take an interest in the other petson. Then let your natural self emerge. That little exuberant boy within you will laugh and enjoy life. Now anyone who is enjoying life is an attractive person. I'm an ugly old bastard but I've had some beautiful women as girlfriends. My present lady whilst no beauty queen, certainly has men ogling her at the dances to which I go. I'm not rich, so it is down to personality.

Lose that constant negative judging of yourself as being no good and unable to attract people. In fact lose passing those self-estimations altogether. Then you will be free to be you. Wow! What a power house will be released then! You will become a chick magnet. They will chase you - not the reverse.

A secret that I learnt early in life is that if you de-value yourself then so will others de-value you. Desperately trying to win a chick de-values you! They sense this and are not impressed.

Easy does it. Put yourself in the company of nice people, relax, be yourself, laugh at yourself and your foibles - enjoy life.

But most of all - let go of fear in all its subtle and gross forms. You are unique as is everyone else. Yet there is a lot of common ground. Remember that chicks are just as concerned about what you think of them as you are about what they think of you. Let all that fear ridden crap go!

Go for it, matey!!!

August 21, 2002
11:02 am
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um oops, things were deleted. hmm, why. did i say anything offensive about women? maybe i dont know

August 21, 2002
5:37 pm
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ok, the database was deleted.
anyways, nothing new man. just started school this week, i really got to active

August 21, 2002
6:09 pm
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Guest_guest.

Started school? Good on ya, matey. It's all systems go from now on. Your flaps are down, throttle forward and you're ready for take-off.

Keep your eyes on the goal posts and don't let those negative thoughts and words de-motivate you. Piss 'em off.

I've no doubt whatever that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to.

What determines if you succeed or not is 'how much' you want something!! If you really really want something enough, then you will get it - it is only a question of 'when'. Life has a way of providing the 'how' of it all.

Keep rembering, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going - nothing for nothing in this world"!!!

Good for you - a whole new world is opening up for you.

August 21, 2002
9:10 pm
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i hope so hmm

August 21, 2002
9:11 pm
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whoaaaa.. gotta figure out some things.. not feeling that good. lets get some food

August 22, 2002
1:14 am
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gosh, tumbling down again. :/ this wont end ever.. whoa

August 22, 2002
5:27 pm
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Guest_guest.

Got news for you - this too will pass.

All things in this universe are impermanent - being born, growing, decaying and dying.

You have decisions to take and choices to make on an instant by instant basis.

Each involves causes and conditions bringing pressure to bear on you to decide this or that - to choose love or fear, upon which to base your decisions.

Clearly see this and clearly see the nature of the impermanent, ever changing self and you will be freed from fear of harm. This is not to say that 'harm' will not come. But there is a big difference between experiencing 'harm' and experiencing living in constant fear of sustaining harm.

If you are "tumbling down again", I suspect that you are experiencing an increase in 'living in fear of harm' rather than experiencing the 'harm' itself.

Am I on track with what is going on in your head?

August 22, 2002
6:18 pm
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im sorry i didnt understand it.
nevermind. i was reading your previous paragraph about what the docor said about childhood abuse.
i was feeling bad, cause of a bad class, of a hot chick i could have said hi to, (she was looking at me), andd.. a 'nice' roomate to top it off.
heh..studies started, thats why.. bascially thats it. and momentary money problems.

August 23, 2002
6:13 pm
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Guest_guest.

Over the years, there have been and still are many things that I read that I don't understand.

The mind tends to want to discard such things as being 'too hard'.

In regard to this tendency to 'put things in the too hard basket', I fight my mind by saying to myself, "I'll put that on the back burner until I'm at that level of understanding". It's truly amazing how years later that often surfaces again with an "Ah-Haa that's what he meant."

In regard to these hot chicks - why do you think you were frightened to say "G'day" and to give them a big smile? What were you risking - do you think?

August 23, 2002
7:31 pm
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hmm.. cause i thought it wouldnt work out and when they'd drop me off (thats what they almost always do), that would be the hard time i'm afraid off. heh.
i gotta keep feeling good about myself and i have to enjoy life, otherwise my compnay is goint to be boring and a drag to them. well there's one girl, i'm going to try being friends with her, she seems very like me, always fidgeting in her seat, not caring what others think (i do that, but even then i have social anxiety). shes cute and sexy too woohoo.

August 24, 2002
12:28 am
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ok she was sitting, i could go sit next to her, but what about next time.
there's a time thats gonna come when shes gonna find herself dealing with someone with a hole in himself, i'll be bored, have nothing to say and thats the point she'll decide to turn away.
when the point has to come, then whats the point.
oh well.. there's some tiny hope yet. im not feeling that bad right now

August 24, 2002
1:28 am
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Guest_guest.
Why must the drama go the way you have imagined that it will go?

Are you not guaranteeing that it will go that way by the power of imagination? They call this thinh pigmallion effect.

Imagination is a powerful thing. It will bring about the scenario that you predict. Before examinations at uni, I would spend time imagining seeing the excellent results on the notice board. I would imagine seeing an easy exam in which I knew all the answers. Many times this wouldnot be so. Yet I always had good results without any exam nerves. On the other hand, I've seen very good students crash with nerves through imagining the worst before the exams.

The same is true about chics. If you imagine the worst, then it will happen. Why? Because your head will be unconsciously putting you down and you will stammer and stutter. Your nervousness will infect the girl. She will feel uncomfortable and will want to get away from the source of discomfort - you!

On the other hand, if you are relaxed and happy, she will feel comfortable in your prescence and want to be with you.

Imagine the scenario that you would like and go into the meeting with that in your head.

Let's know how you get on.

August 24, 2002
7:02 pm
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heh, thats soo true. i wish i didnt forget all this nice advice. i must imagine myself to be sucessful .. must and must also do things to GO in that direction, as you told, its not enough just to keep telling ourselves that we'll success.
gosh these things are so important.
ok.. i wanted to ask you another thing.
now you know i left my faith, and the thing is i cant tell it to anyone otherwise it'll put my or my near ones' life in danger. but my main aim of life is also to tell everyone what the faith really is. what should i do then? am i being harmed by suffocating and hiding myself so much, because i know i cant tell anything which i feel soo strongly about?

August 24, 2002
8:09 pm
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hey man, tell me what should i be thinking when i'm feeling all that social anxiety? and thinking that everyone is seeing me, and i'm being concious of others and beleiving they are being concious of me too.

what positive things do i say to myself? i tell myself from time to time, that they're not looking at me or paying attention to me, but doesnt work well (i know it takes many repeated messages, but am i saying the right thing?)

August 24, 2002
10:36 pm
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its so diffuclt man.
i went to the room, saw my roomie kissing his friend. lights off, music on, gosh.
i mean i dont have all that. first, i need to be solid within myself, then things will be fine. (this is the same point i was, 3 years ago).
i dont know why i came saying here that i had improved.
heh.. no improvement, eh. maybe.

look, i feel talking is a waste of time. i cant get beyond the "hi, how are you?" stage, even though i've known the man/woman for many years.
occasional talk is fine, but happens when i have really have something to say, e.g. if i came from giving the exam, or i found a very good deal shopping. thats it.

and the pre-requisite for getting a girlfriend is that you have to know how to talk to her. i dont find any interest in a girl, beyond her physical body, thats it.

i dont think tez it will end.. its just difficult.
at times like these, i try to tell myself that once i get a job, things would be better, but who knows.
oh you know.. i want to be so independent, i want to be open in sex, i want to attend a hedonism affair in jamaica. heh. i think thats the only thing i can do.
since the normal intimacy seems beyong my means for now.
there's that awkwardness around me, almost all the time.
with the guys who have girl friends, its opposite. they have rare moments when they're feeling down.
with me, i have rare moments when i'm feeling good.

i feel i'm locked in a box, the chains are around my head, i cant speak or do anything and i just let the chains lie there.
fear fear fear. aaaaaa.

what was that advice.. i forgot it again.
u ever seen a failure like me?

August 24, 2002
10:40 pm
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seeing my roomie was like seeing a guy run a mile while i didnt even have any legs. i was eating and i had to stop myself from chockin, i felt that suffocated and down (for a while).

oh man.. will it ever end

August 25, 2002
2:33 pm
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i was lying down, when i thought of them kissing again, it hit me soo hard. heh. shit man. hmm

August 25, 2002
7:25 pm
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Guest_guest.

"...what should i be thinking when i'm feeling all that social anxiety? and thinking that everyone is seeing me, and i'm being concious of others and beleiving they are being concious of me too."

I've some bad news for you. By and large, people are SO self-centred that they are thinking about nothing but themselves and how other people see them! They ain't thinking about you!! This is a 'truth' that you can contemplate at such times. If you doubt this 'truth', just start talking to someone about themselves and see how quickly they run off all the thoughts that are in their head. Start talking about yourself and they quickly nod off to sleep. 🙂 Am I right? Or am I right!

Oh course, if you are walking around with no pants on, it might be a different story. 🙂

" and the pre-requisite for getting a girlfriend is that you have to know how to talk to her..." Yes this is true.

" i dont find any interest in a girl, beyond her physical body, thats it. " I know - and this is your problem!! This comes from having little or no respect for women. And this lack of respect, I believe, comes from our early childhood messages that we took on board in seeing our mother and father interact within our home.

"i was lying down, when i thought of them kissing again, it hit me soo hard. heh. shit man. hmm " Yes - but what was your head telling you whilst you were being 'hit so hard'. Was it saying things like, " the lucky bastard - I'll never have that. I'll never be happy. If I had that, I'd be over the moon. It's all over for me and I haven't even started...etc, etc." ???? If it was, then no wonder you 'got hit so hard'. You were hitting yourself!!!

Do you really think just having a girlfriend is going to make it all right for you? If you do then you have another 'think' coming. You will just swap one set of problems for another.

You have a lot of 'baggage' to let go of yet. This will take time, self-reflection, reading, self-discovery and perhaps a little therapy. However, the worst thing that you can do though is to wallow in self-flagration, followed by self-pity, self-doubt and guilt.

There's an old saying "Count your blessings". I say "look at your cake - not the little bit of icing missing off one corner." The roomie's chick is a 'little bit of the icing' on his cake - and even then I'm not sure how good that 'sugar filled' icing really is for him anyway. 🙂

All relationships involve a mixture of pleasure and pain - it is only the ratio that changes. Two neurotic sexual partners guarantee much more pain than pleasure - of that I am sure.

PS, for someone who has nothing to say to women, your sure do OK here on this thread! Why the difference???

August 25, 2002
9:49 pm
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hehe..cause ur a man ,and also, this is typing. in real life, im more shy, less expressive. yea man. its true.. i was hitting myself.

August 25, 2002
9:54 pm
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your telling me that they're thinking about themselves, worked for 10 seconds (with the guy sitting in the next seat).. but later its gonna fall back. oops.. i mean.. ok.. it'll get better.
i had one idea from the hypnotherapy tapes the therapist gave me once-to record my own voice in positive messages and listen to them in the morning when i wake up. gonna try that someday.

but still, i was thinking. does the law of nature say that construction takes a long time, and destruction a small time?
is it even possible to reverse all this destruction in me?

August 26, 2002
5:54 pm
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Guest_guest.
The word 'destruction' is a very negative one.

You have undergone many years of 'fear conditioning' of your mind.

You, unknowingly, played some part in that conditioning. Today you are also playing a part in your own conditioning right now as you read this text.

You are providing your own interpretation of my intended meaning in these written words.

Now if you have been an unwitting accomplice all these years to your own 'destruction', do you want to continue in this way? OR - do you want to be more critical of what you take on board as fact?

The choice is yours. But... there is no magic bullet - nothing for nothing. You have to start monitoring and reflecting upon your own thought processes and beliefs. That takes lots of practice.

Anyone who offers you a quick fix is a scam merchant after a quick buck!!!

It took you all your life to get to this mind set. It will probably take as long to reprogram yourself. However, it gets better and better and you can learn how to take some degree of control over your future conditioning.

In other words you can mould yourself into the kind of person that you want to be. You can learn how to master your own emotions by nurture not by force of will. You can learn which of your beliefs are harmful and which are helpful and productive. Your life will become a journey up the 'hill' - an adventure - instead of a wallowing in a swamp at the bottom.

Knowing that there will be many set backs, will you make a start up the hill - or would you rather waste your life sitting on your bum at the base, bemoaning your fate and looking for a fuck to take your mind off yourself? What's it to be?

August 27, 2002
9:42 am
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it doesnt make a diffrence tez.
and i'm having a really bad day today.. everything piles up together

August 27, 2002
6:56 pm
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Guest_guest.

Why not say - "Fuck it all" and then go take a walk in the nearest park - sit under a tree and watch the birds(feathered variety - not the other kind), lizards, butterflies, etc going about their daily business of surviving.

Just let your head 'be present' to these moments. Let the 'crap' in your head flow away like turds down a sewerage pipe.

When you take a piss, watch the piss flowing and say to yourself, "This piss is all my cares and woes pissing out of me." Such imagery has a way of speaking to your unconscious.

Just try it, matey! If it works keep it otherwise... don't. You need to find what works for you at whatever level that you're at!

August 28, 2002
10:04 am
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heh.. interesting.. ok.. i will do that next time in the restroom. good idea

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