This morning I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about thewild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now," I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby gray haired older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fuck off.