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The secret to happy dating ... I've found it!
January 21, 2006
9:14 pm
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kasie919
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Good Evening Seeker:

how are you tonight? and how are things going with the lady friend?
Ive missed chatting with you, things have been a bit difficult lately..

Love Kasie

January 22, 2006
1:56 am
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Kasie,

Good to hear from you. I'm sorry things have been difficult for you. I've read a few of the things you posted today, but don't remember any specifics.

Things are going the same with my lady friend; thanks for asking. I must emphasize we're just friends. Nothing will develop in the foreseeable future, not before the divorce goes through, and then maybe not even after that. I only see her once every other week, at a meeting of our Toastmasters club, and she sometimes takes two or three days to reply to my emails. So our contact is limited.

I'm trying to learn to just be friends with women, to give to them emotionally and not ask for or expect anything in return. Sometimes it gets draining on me, especially with this one other woman, but I think it's overall a good experience for me. I want to be less selfish and look outside myself more. I want to learn to be as nurturing as a mother -- I can't think of anybody more nurturing than that.

Well, take care, and I hope all gets better with you.

Seeker

January 22, 2006
1:29 pm
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kasie919
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Seeker:

YOu are tuly commendable, I am impressed with you desire and perserviernce..YOu truly have a deep desire in you to be the best partner you can, Admirable..

{{{SEEKER}}}.

MY troubles only get deeper, and im starting to loose focus on myself and faith in God, this is why I came to you, I need to know, how I kkep it going under such hard and trying times,?
I feel as if im being punished and taught a lesson, although Im not sure just what that lesson is,
IM sad and hurt, and know I cant change what has happened, but I truly need dome help, in not loosing my faith..
can you direct me?

Love Kasie

January 22, 2006
3:15 pm
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Kasie,

I read what you've posted about the situation with your stbxh, your daughter, your son, and your lack of a job, and I am reeling in shock. The perversions your husband is pressuring you to do. Him opening your mail and getting angry at your attempts to free yourself from a horrible situation. His emotional abuse of you. Your fears of losing your son, whom you love very much. Your worries about your daughter, and your fears that you failed her as a mother. The debts you don't know how you can repay.

Everything's coming to a head at once. The first thing that comes to mind is to pray real hard. God knows all about your situation, and he loves you and your son and daughter more than you can imagine. He loves you for the integrity of your heart, that in spite of all that you're undergoing, you are determined to do what's right. You still want your son to be able to see his father, in spite of how the father's been acting. You're determined to not give into the demands to have sex with other men.

Have you been praying for guidance? I don't recall you're saying that you have. I go through times when I don't pray, and things always get tougher -- and darker -- for me then.

I want to point out that none of your fears has actually come to pass, have they? Maybe they won't.

I wouldn't say you're being punished in what you've been experiencing. You could be like Job: Satan noticed you as being an upright woman and begged leave to try you, and God consented, knowing you'd come out shining in the end.

Kasie, looking over what I've just written, I feel to advise you to get away from your husband as soon as feasible. Can you stay with a friend or relative temporarily? I think once you're away from him, from the negative influence and the threat of violence, you will be able to find some peace and be able to plan more effectively.

I want you to know it really touches me to see how you reach out to others in this time of great distress. I've seen your posts recently where you've been doing this. You're refusing to stay buried in your own problems. You are a godly woman. I wish your husband could see this.

Take heart, Kasie, and get away from your husband as soon as practicable. Do this, and I think the rest will start to fall into place.

Pray extra hard to know if this is indeed the right course of action for you. I'll be praying extra hard for you.

Keep us posted as you are able to, please. We're all with you.

All my love, Seeker

January 22, 2006
6:14 pm
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kasie919
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Thank You seeker, as i read this the tears just flowed, Im doing my best and know i need to try harder..

Thank you , you are truly so very kind..

Love Kasie

January 22, 2006
6:34 pm
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kasie919
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And yes I do pray, every minute every hour i can....

NO i dont have family, he has moved me 750 miles away...

thanks for asking,

Love Kasie

January 22, 2006
9:28 pm
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Kasie,

Any way you could move back with your family, or with friends at your former location, till you can get your life straightened out? Would they support you in this endeavor?

Do you have friends at your new city who might let you stay with them temporarily?

You may have already addressed this; forgive me if you have, but if you have, I missed it.

Seeker

P.S. Usually things don't turn out as bad as we fear they will. I trust that this will turn out to be true in your case.

January 22, 2006
9:40 pm
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Kasie,

Another idea just hit me. You've been praying ... sometimes a person receives answers to their prayers when they read and meditate on the scriptures.

A suggestion: perhaps you could read and meditate on Job chapters 1 and 2; or on Paul's conversion story in Acts chapter 9; or on the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapters 5 through 7. Or on any of your favorite passages of scriptures.

I hope this helps.

Seeker

January 22, 2006
9:42 pm
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Kasie,

Writing in your journal can help. Have you been doing this? Sometimes writing things down can bring them into much better focus.

Seeker

January 23, 2006
7:33 am
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Seeker:

I have no family to go to, my dad wants no parts of me, I cant go home because of the mess my daughter is in, although I so badly want to help her, but I know she has to learn from all this, I have done evrything for her, and look where it got her?

I know no one here, except the neighbors,and my therapist, he claims that i need to keep our personal lives to ourselves and I shouldnt talk to anyone...

Im trying to keep a journal, but it is dificult, as I go to write or even read he gets all upity about everything and starts a fight..

I will read the versas you have noted..

Thank you for your help, truly you are special..

I have a few job interviews today, a doctors appointment and some errands to run, not sure when ill get back here..

have a wonderful day, and thank you for being here for me..

Love Kasie

January 23, 2006
10:08 pm
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Kasie,

{I have no family to go to, my dad wants no parts of me}

Not even to help you out in your current situation? Would he help you out in a pinch? Does he know about your situation? Is he even willing to talk to you about it?

{I cant go home because of the mess my daughter is in,}

Are you embarrassed about what people will think? Why would your daughter's situation prevent you from going back home, if you needed to for your own safety?

{I know no one here, except the neighbors,and my therapist, he claims that i need to keep our personal lives to ourselves and I shouldnt talk to anyone... }

Your therapist doesn't want you to seek help from others about your situation?!?!?!? This completely baffles me. You need practical help, Kasie, not just therapy. Have you talked to a social worker? Maybe they could help you find a temporary shelter.

{Im trying to keep a journal, but it is dificult, as I go to write or even read he gets all upity about everything and starts a fight..}

Why would he object to you keeping a journal? I don't understand. Does he read it behind your back?

I hope your interviews go well. What sort of jobs are you applying for, if you don't mind me asking?

{thank you for being here for me..}

Thank you for these sentiments. I wish I could be of more help to you. Please take care of yourself and your son, and cast your worries to the Lord. I'll end with one of my favorite quotes, "All you can do is all you can do, but it is enough!"

Love, Seeker

January 24, 2006
2:26 pm
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kasie919
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Seeker:
Not even to help you out in your current situation? Would he help you out in a pinch? Does he know about your situation? Is he even willing to talk to you about it?

Nope, he beleives we are adults now he wants no parts of our lives, not offered a place to stay, he has always and will always be like this, and yes he knows everything, even came here over the holiday, and went home called me on the phone, gave me a 2hour lecture on how i suck at everything, .. nope dont want to go there...

{I cant go home because of the mess my daughter is in,}

What i meant was, I am an enabler, and If i go back to her, i will just create more of a mess, because I will be taking care of the baby, allowing her to live with me, steel from me, eat my food and not contribute..She is in a huge mess, I think its best if I just give her my ear and my love right now..

{I know no one here, except the neighbors,and my therapist, he claims that i need to keep our personal lives to ourselves and I shouldnt talk to anyone... }

The Shelter is a no contact, no family, if you go in, you dissapear, you are not aloud contact with anyone on the outside, im not ready for that, even the counselor agreed, i have to make sure the will to return isnt here, as I will ruin it not only for my self but put lives at risk, I have to be sure that is what i want and need.
And my therapist does encourage me to get out, its my husband whom controls me, asking about every fifteen minutes details of who, what, where, when why, and how....

{Im trying to keep a journal, but it is dificult, as I go to write or even read he gets all upity about everything and starts a fight..}

Yes he searches everything behind my back, reads my books, looks in my purse, checks my phone, checks the phone bills....

Im looking for any job at this point, I was an office manager for years, managed an auto parts store and someother things, I am looking for anything to happen, even day care at this point i will work in a fast food chain, just need to go..

And Seeker, all I ask is for your advice and prayers, nothing more but frinedship...

So truly Thank you...

love Kasie

January 25, 2006
2:20 am
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Kasie,

I understand a lot better now. As for advice, you can have plenty of that from me; I'm not saying it will be good advice, though! Prayers I will offer for you daily until your situation is resolved. You will always have my friendship, ALWAYS, ALWAYS.

Love, Seeker

January 25, 2006
10:40 pm
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Kasie,

Hope you're doing well! From here on out, I won't ask you much, I'll just listen and be a sounding board for you and be your friend.

I'm going to be off this site for a few days. I'll be checking it daily, but won't be making many replies or new posts.

If you want to reach me, please open a thread with my name in it, and I'll be sure to read it.

Take care!

Seeker

January 26, 2006
3:37 pm
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Kasie,

I meant, I will read AND REPLY to whatever thread you might open for me.

Hope you're doing well.

Seeker

January 27, 2006
9:33 am
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Kasie,

It sounds like you already know what you need to do to resolve your situation, and are working toward that.

My prayers continue to be with you. I won't try to offer any new advice; I'll just listen, bounce things back to you as needed, and be your friend.

Take care. I haven't seen you post lately; I hope you and your son are doing well.

Love, Seeker

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