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The secret to happy dating ... I've found it!
January 8, 2006
11:02 pm
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kasie919
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Seeker:

im just pluggin on right now, been haveing a few bad days..

Came here cause i knew you would cheer me up...

Thank you..

I have a stomach virus so im gonna bid you fairwell for the night..

Keep Mr TEZ in ln line for me, as he cant keep mysteries where they should be..

And go right on ahead, im not gonna need the sex talk anyway.. hahahaha.

And I do not find anyone ugly, oh except my stbx...
I beleive in the soul and heart..
Beauty is only skin deep...

Ok ive got to go, porclin princess calling..

good night my friend, catch you tomorrow..

Love Kasie

January 8, 2006
11:31 pm
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Anonymous
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Kasie,

Pleasant dreams! Hope you feel better soon. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.

January 9, 2006
2:42 am
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Seekerw

On the 8-Jan-06 you said:

"I figure evolution would have endowed us with the sense to treat our women with respect and love. Isn't this the best way to ensure survival of the fittest?"

From an evolutional point of view I really don't know. As I understand it (or don't) the success or failure of a species to survive is determined by whether its individual members adapt and propagate successfully or not. A lot of disrespected women seem to successfully propagate the species today.

Dr. Joseph LeDoux of NYU Labs considers that it is early days on the evolutional yet. He maintains that the neural pathways to the amygdala from the rest of the Cortex is nowhere nearly as extensive as the reverse. In time he believes that a balance in the bidirectional emotion-cognitions interchange will be established. But this is conjecture on his part and I think that he would readily admit to that.

But we have come a long way since the days when women were chattel with little or no rights whatsoever.

January 9, 2006
12:25 pm
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seekerw, I understand your faith based reason to abstain from sex. Hmmmm.
Definitely, yes, sex on the first date is not the right thing. A person should not be thinking about it before they get to know other important things about a person, and find out if they like each other for reasons other than lust.

In my case, we did wait two months before having sex, this girl that I'm seeing nowdays. Now...she was the one to initiate it. It happened after she asked me if I'd have sex if she broke up with her current guy (which is about to happen) and I said no, I've had too heartbreaks already and dont want anymore. Apparently, my refusal to have sex drove her to want me more than she did- that could be a reason. Anyway.. it was awesome, the best night of my life, there was tender love in the air and so much more. I'm not pressed now anymore as before to have sex with her, we're more relaxed and we know, we can have it if we both are wanting it at the time. I think now that thats out of the way, its easier to relax and focus on just love. Its good to see the bigger picture and and having sex completes the picture more. Then you have a bigger perspective on all the things because sex is a significant part of a relationship 'picture' whether its marriage or a gf/bf situation.

January 9, 2006
2:56 pm
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kasie919
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Seeker:

took the asprin, didnt help..

had some tea and just a good old hot bath, feeling a lil better..

I see you and tes kept up with the night.

And guest actually hit a good point, im suprised!! but I hope that love like that reamiains, it is passion that has to keep the fire flaming!!

And i beleive in abstonance, it does make you grow fonder of the heart, and the mere fact that you cant always get what you want plays a tune as well..

Love you guys keep posting.

Im off for some more polka,spotted gingerale!!

Love kasie

January 9, 2006
11:38 pm
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Tez,

"A lot of disrespected women seem to successfully propagate the species today."

So evolution isn't very smart, is it? If it were, a "disrespected" woman, as you call her, would be designed to not be able to have children. This would increase the population of "respected" women and also of "respecting" men. If only evolution had more brains! :o) :o)
(A double smiley face on that!)

January 9, 2006
11:44 pm
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guest_guest,

You have an interesting point. If both of you subscribe to a "sex before marriage" philosophy, what you said makes sense. I'm not saying that you and your gf are not emotionally healthy. But if you don't subscribe to that philosophy, that's all the more reason to make yourself emotionally healthy, so that when you meet a suitable mate and the time is right, you're ready to jump quickly into the commitment of marriage.

I'm all for short, very short, engagement periods. Once you decide you truly love each other and are ready for the commitment, why put it off?

January 9, 2006
11:49 pm
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Seeker:

Sorry the asprin didnt help, but glad you're a little better.

"but I hope that love like that reamiains, it is passion that has to keep the fire flaming!!

And i beleive in abstonance, it does make you grow fonder of the heart, and the mere fact that you cant always get what you want plays a tune as well.."

Honing your literary skills farther, I see. :o)

Take care and get all better, Kasie. (I'd hug you but I'm afraid I'll get sick.)

January 10, 2006
1:46 am
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kasie919
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Seeker:

Cant sleep now, damned polkadots spining in my head..

Whats the agenda tonight or shal i say tis wee hour of the morning??

Ahh, yes... mans favorite past time SEX>>>>>>

You know the thing is about sleeping with someone and then thinking its the most awesome night imaginable, is something everyone should have.BUt what doesnt happen is that feeling lasting..

If your in love and truly love the person, feel like the realtionship has no boundries then sex would be next, but having to keep the fire burning is the challenge.

And a challenge it is..

Guest may have something, but can it last thru, or is it just a desire and a dream??

Oh and tez: please, need i know more about your shall i say visits to the ho house??
hahah Im kidding dont take it to heart...

love to you all..

Kasie

January 10, 2006
10:57 am
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Yes kasie, making it last is the main problem..! Momentary passion comes and goes.

_seeker_, short engagement you say? It takes time to know the person significally. Like this girl, I havent lived with her so I havent seen all her moods and learnt about them, what triggers them and what helps them. It would take time to know those things and it might have been quicker if I had been living with her for the last 2 months instead of just knowing her for that time as a friend. Marraige isnt important to me. I wish I could BE myself all that time.. thats the main problem I have right now :(. hmm. I hope it will be like that.

According to tez and many friends on my "what do you think of this girl I met" thread, almost everyone thinks we're _not_ emotionallly healthy. heh. But I want to give this a chance and see how things turn out. For now if I can learn to be myself and be grounded, that would change everything.

Ok back to work..sorry. bad day today, didnt sleep well :((, head dropping, eyes closing.

January 10, 2006
4:50 pm
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kasie919
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guest.

I just dont understand why you have to allow this girl not to allow you to be yourself?

Im not one for fake, please dont feel you have to be somebody your not just to please her.That is just totallly wrong..

I hope you do get to know her way more than now to see exactly how deep this goes..
I wish you could see from the outside, your so full of hope and love for her, your blinded.. sigh

I pray you dont get hurt, you so dont deserve it..

Love kasie

January 10, 2006
7:23 pm
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seekerw
9-Jan-06

"So evolution isn't very smart, is it?"

I don't think that evolution is a 'person' so attributing intellectual prowess or otherwise to a 'hit and miss' process such as evolution is'nt very logical.

I don't think Charles Darwin would have called evolution 'smart or dumb'! Is the sun smart or dumb for rising every day? No - It just does under the laws of cause and effect.

January 10, 2006
7:54 pm
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kasie919
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how the heck did we get onto evalution?

What happen to sex and love???

now we are back to apes????

Tez im beginning to wonder....

How are you today??

kasie

January 11, 2006
3:02 am
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kasie919

On the 10-Jan-06 you asked:

"how the heck did we get onto evalution?"

In relation to 'romantic love', I made an observation.

"Seriously though. I am amazed at how after millions of years of evolution, human beings still have cognitions that are subservient to their emotions despite the irrationality of this subservience most - but not all - of the time."

Seekerw picked up on that and ran with it. I followed suit.

And you kindly asked:

"How are you today??"

I am in fine spirits. And you?

January 11, 2006
7:11 am
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Kasie,

"how the heck did we get onto evalution?

What happen to sex and love???

now we are back to apes????"

How'd we get to evolution? I don't recall, but I see Tez answered already.

We left sex back at the brothels ... love was heading in another direction last I knew .. I lost track of it, oh wait, there it is, in that cab up ahead. I'm stepping on the gas.

January 11, 2006
8:01 am
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Guest_guest,

{seeker_, short engagement you say? It takes time to know the person significally. Like this girl, I havent lived with her so I havent seen all her moods and learnt about them, what triggers them and what helps them. It would take time to know those things and it might have been quicker if I had been living with her for the last 2 months instead of just knowing her for that time as a friend. }

What if you get acquaintained with her as a friend first, before you even start dating? You could cut down the time significantly getting to know her that way.

You'll never know as much about her as you want until you actually get married or go steady, in your case. So why let fear stop you? Why not make that commitment and be resolved to stay with her through thick and thin. You can learn about her moods as you go and deal with them as you need to.

In other words, I don't think you need to know a great deal about somebody before you can intelligently make a commitment to them. There are women I am friends with that I'm convinced I could have a happy marriage with, even though we've never dated per se.

January 11, 2006
2:35 pm
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Seeker:

Than may i ask why you havent asked one of them????

Not trying to be smart, but answer?

How are you my tea totin buddy?

Im not having such a great day, sucks actually..

Listen, my love is at the airport, I am stuck on this ship.....there he goes over head....sigh........

loneliness is getting the best of me..

My friends keep up the good work here, seeker you give the best advice,.start that book..

Love kasie

January 11, 2006
3:47 pm
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hi kasie, thanks! Last night I was with her and was more able to be myself. I have to practice myself, got a lot of good advice on the "being ourselves" thread I started.

seeker, you're right, being a friend is the best way. In my case, I just felt this girl was great in every way, she was pretty intelligent and caring so I got hit by her as she got hit by me. Thats right, I am trying to understand her moods and try to stay with her. Lets see how things go.... I'll keep you guys posted on my other "what do you think of this girl" thread.

yea, so kasie asked the good question, have you tried to date and take things further with those friends of yours?

January 11, 2006
6:38 pm
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guest:

ive read your last post on your oldest thread, I think I'll stay here, whew, you are gonna hear it for that!!

Im hoping your ok with all this, your heart is gonna take a good shot if not.
Please take the time to step back and look in..

Im not ever going to judge you forwhat your doing, but its wrong o decieve the boyfriend even if she wants to break it off, do you truly think thats fair? and how did you feel when it happend to you?
I wish you hope..

SEEKER!!!!!!!!!
Get the pot going!!
where is tez???
weneed some input here.....

How bout it guys?
If you were dating, and found out your girl was seeing someone else, kissing and what not??
How would you feel?

Dont get all dramatic TEZ give it to me straight!!!

I love you guys!!!

Kasie

January 11, 2006
9:16 pm
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Kasie,

I can't stay hidden from you for long! The pot's boiling; about to boil over. Some nice aquamarine tea for you. Take a sip; careful, it's hot! Hope you're doing better, and that you're getting the better of loneliness now.

Today was a pretty good day; thanks for asking. I resolved a matter that was very difficult for me to come to grips with, and feel I'm moving somewhere now.

{Than may i ask why you havent asked one of them????

Not trying to be smart, but answer?}

Kasie and Guest_guest: Because I'm in the process of getting a divorce. It's not cool to date while you're still (legally) married, even if you've been separated for almost two years and emotionally divorced for five months. But just wait.

Guest, I hope things turn out for you and your girl. I'll watch your thread.

Kasie, if somebody I were dating were dating somebody else, my reaction would depend on the nature of our relationship. If we'd agreed to go steady, I wouldn't be happy about it and would let her know it. If we hadn't made any such agreement, I might not be happy about it, but would have to let it ride.

Take care! Happy tea drinking!

Seek

January 11, 2006
9:33 pm
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hi kasie_, that situation is a little different. Her Bf recently abused her, has shown her cold behavior many times, has lied, has said "enjoy" to another guy as she walked off with a friend of hers to chat with. It may not be fair but we're both attracted to each other and she already said I'd be the one she'd date if she was to break up. I'd sure feel mad if it happened to me, but only if we were seriously involved. Sorry i dont mean to change the topic here 🙂 I'm frequently indulging in that so I'll try to stop hmmmmm, but you're welcome to drop by in the other thread "what do you think". Tez already thinks we're both unhealthy 😀 and that it would only end up in me hurting myself but I'm willing to take a sensible risk.

January 11, 2006
9:35 pm
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seeker, thanks! Good luck with your divorce, I hope everything turns out smoothly and for the best of you.

January 11, 2006
9:58 pm
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Guest,

Thanks. I'll start watching your thread. Not to be nosy about you and your gf, but inquiring minds want to know. lol

January 12, 2006
8:06 am
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Seeker:

I feel as if I owe you an apology, Im sorry for intruding on the hurt spot,I was wrong and hope you forgive me..

I didnt know you were still admist the divorce.this must be a very difficult time for you..

again I am so sorry..

Kasie.

January 12, 2006
8:16 am
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Hi Kasie,

You don't owe me any apology. You're not intruding at all. In fact, I appreciate that you asked -- it shows we're connecting. I don't mind talking about my divorce.

So, I'll serve up the next pot of tea and we can continue talking. Anything particular on your mind?

By the way, I'm starting to dislike the title for this thread -- it sounds so Pollyanna-ish now.

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