Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
The Nature Of Happiness?
February 13, 2003
6:58 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

onedayatatime.

Yep!! That saying is a bit like the story of the two men behind prison bars, one sees the 'mud' the other the 'stars'.

Dr. Laing the eminent scottish psychiatrist, says that we humans are like prisoners, in which the prison doors are all open and there are no jailers. Yet we sit on the bunks in our prison cells contemplating why we are in prison rather than just walking through the open doors.

Somehow, we have to learn to just let go of our preconditioning and just 'be'.

I like Thich Naht Hanh's term 'habitual energy'. He has this concept that most of us are driven by a 'habitual energy' that underpins all our motives.

I interpret this concept of 'habitual energy' to mean that we are habitually monitoring our 'perceived' environment looking for threats to our wellbeing. We are driven by fear of damage to our physical or mental constructs of 'self'; thus we are driven to be constantly vigilant and never satisfied, always looking for a breech in our 'defences' and often finding them. Thus happiness is fleeting and seemingly elusive.

March 9, 2009
2:02 pm
Avatar
mj
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Today my happiness came while observing the daffodils and snow falling at the same time!

March 9, 2009
2:30 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

more! how?

March 9, 2009
2:42 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Having wallowed in the pits of despair I now think people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

There are days I can hardly make it out of bed and the world is out to get me but the one thing I know is that I have to put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing.

Look around, surely there is something to be happy about like daffodils blooming in the snow. Thanks for sharing.

Bitsy

March 9, 2009
3:16 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

>> I now think people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

But you have to acknowledge that people's ability to be happy is very seriously effected by the way they were brought up and .... recently I've started to believe in genetic and biological differences as well.

Here's how that made sense to me: we are all physically unique. Our brains too are thus, physically unique and different in abilities. Thats pretty much it...

March 9, 2009
3:44 pm
Avatar
marypoppins
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Guest,

You wrote:

">> I now think people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

But you have to acknowledge that people's ability to be happy is very seriously effected by the way they were brought up and .... recently I've started to believe in genetic and biological differences as well.

Here's how that made sense to me: we are all physically unique. Our brains too are thus, physically unique and different in abilities. Thats pretty much it..."

YOU have to acknowledge that this "view" of yours is a very convenient way to avoid taking responsibility for oneself. One could act like a complete jerk, for example, and not feel compelled to do much about it.

Bitsy has had as horrible of an upbringing as anyone here, yet she soldiers on - taking care of herself AND her daughter.

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.

Mary

March 9, 2009
4:57 pm
Avatar
truthBtold
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Happiness.

Hmmmm.

Interesting concept.

I saw a little something something not too long ago about this very subject.

About the folks in Oslo....(as compared to their American counterparts...) think about and view this.

Know what they said - pretty much in a nutshell?

That basically, Americans have too high of expectations.

Interesting - huh?

You think that it might have something to do with this ever-present ideal of 'happily-ever-after' notion?

You think?

Therefore now - many Americans are now scrambling to make some kind of sense of it all?

That maybe we (as Americans) have been a bit too impractical and self-serving?

And to think....that other nations think that our American model is something to aspire to????

Incredible, actually.

Surely our resistance as a nation can not be undermined, to our credit, to a certain extent.

But when you confuse - who you are - with what you have in terms of material things - you have just got to know that this model will always fall short.

Always in the mode of 'seeking more and more' rather than being quite content in the things that really, actually matter most.

Love, trust, safety, friends, family (non-dysfunctional....mind you) food, clothing and shelter and art and music to make it all seem worthwhile when all of us experience the necessary loss and disappointments in life across the world-wide board and turn to art and music as a way of revitalizing our souls and making some kind of sense out of our human lives?

You think?????

Maybe?????

March 9, 2009
5:10 pm
Avatar
courage to change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ok

What makes me truly happy is when I am being true to myself in every area of my life

xxx

March 9, 2009
5:28 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Ohhhh MaryPoppins, you!

>> But you have to acknowledge that people's ability to be happy is very seriously effected by the way they were brought up and .... recently I've started to believe in genetic and biological differences as well.

I never meant to imply that the we are not responsible at all. Yes we can make choices in life and its up to us also. It also depends on our biology (which is random by nature), genetics (brain characteristics borrowed from parents) and upbringing (parents again) along with the choices we make (that is up to us). These are the 4 factors which influence us.

Its like being born in a sewer. You can make the choice to stand up in the sewer, or sit.. or lie down. Or turn to the right, or left.

But the fact is that some people got lucky because they were born on the ground above in soft grass and hay. Life for us is very hard as compared to theirs.

And its going to be exceptionally hard (not impossible) to climb out of that sewer and hope to live a life like those born on the ground from the get-go.

March 9, 2009
7:32 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

But guest you can make the decision if you are going to lie around and wallow in the sewer or you are going to tell yourself "I am better and deserve better than this". Life is easier for some than it is for others. Hey I'm not exactly living the life I was 7 or 8 years ago either but I can be miserable in the life I have or I can try to make myself happier. And yes I do admit that prozac and a few other drugs did save my life at one point.

Bitsy

March 9, 2009
7:37 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

I know, I know. Once again, I never said that there aren't choices that we can make. I said there are 4 factors and one of them is under your control. The other 3 are not (biology, genetics and parenting).

March 10, 2009
9:20 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

OK I can agree with you on that. Now post 1 thing that makes you happy.

Bitsy

March 10, 2009
10:28 am
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Religion declining in America 😀 as we heard yesterday

March 10, 2009
11:56 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Can you think of something not quite so controversial?

A warm cup of tea, a call from a friend, whatever...

Bitsy

March 10, 2009
2:36 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Hot milk choclate, how's that

March 10, 2009
5:37 pm
Avatar
bereft
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

happiness is a warm gun

bang bang

shoot shoot

March 10, 2009
6:51 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

bereft

I hope the gun wasn't aimed at one irritating little pest was it? 🙂

March 11, 2009
2:42 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

see guest it isn't so hard to be warm and fuzzy now and then. I wish you a cup of warm milk chocolate.

Bitsy

March 11, 2009
2:44 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

aw thats great, thanks Bitsy. I could use it, its kinda chilly today! Was warm yesteryda though

March 11, 2009
4:44 pm
Avatar
bereft
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

tezz,

beatles, actually.

i think i'm dumb, or maybe just happy.

cobain, and he used a gun.

hmmmm, i'm sensing a theme here.

March 11, 2009
4:51 pm
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That song "Happiness is a Warm Gun" was about sex, love, a penis, sexual arousal.

That makes almost everyone happy!LOL

March 11, 2009
4:55 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

How we were brought up to me is a then and there thinking way of thinking. It only becomes a part of here and now when I chose to see it that way. I cannot change my history and I chose to focus on the good things there were. Its perhaps a part of growing up as an Elder once told me.

I love the buddist concept that ...

pain is inevitable ....
suffering is optional.

I reached a time in my life when I chose to remember the good things too. I had worked through some of the "bad things" in therapy That my life was becoming through my living in the past experiences. So how to or why not turn

s-it into fertilizer for growth?

Is not accepting and welcoming the pain allow for appreciation of the opposite pendulum swing of ...?

March 11, 2009
6:06 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

>> That song "Happiness is a Warm Gun" was about sex, love, a penis, sexual arousal.

>> That makes almost everyone happy!LOL

Except that guy:

>> The Dalai Lama, the exiled Tibetan spiritual and temporal leader, on Friday said sex spelt fleeting satisfaction and trouble later, while chastity offered a better life and "more freedom." (source)

Oops! I didnt want to mention his name again but it just came to my mind when I was trying to think who doesnt like sex.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
36
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111020
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38570
Posts: 714311
Newest Members:
cosmo789, bravelassie, Chloe12, future life, austinjacob, Hadity1
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information