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The Love Which Dares Not Type Its Name
November 20, 2004
9:09 pm
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Worried_Dad
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My lovely Cyber-significant other

My Dell 1902 flat panel
writhes and glows
with the gentle touch
of your lascivious text

How my rods and cones and
cones and rods hunger for the photons which waft from your sensual ASCII and jpegs and mpegs

to drive me on to unparalled heights of

texting as revel in the full-cyber-body-message you send me, an instant message at that

Would that our love, our cyber love dared to type its name

In a kinder world we might become cyber-married, and I would spray my cyber-gametes across the electronic sea to meet your cyber-womb

And we would have cyber-children whose bits and bytes would grow and lean and play in that enchanted chatroom.

But alas, you are married to you husband

and I am married to the Sea.

At least, I think we are still married. We don't actually talk that much any more.

November 20, 2004
9:29 pm
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SweetAmanda
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I don't think I have ever read anything like that before.

It's really sweet though.

=)

November 20, 2004
9:35 pm
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sewunique
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Awesome, just beautiful, BRAVO!!!

And so clever you are.

November 20, 2004
9:44 pm
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Worried_Dad
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See, I had this housemate who always had these cyber-romances with people from waay far away. She had a particularly intense relationship with a married gal who lived in Australia, of all places. As far as the husband was concerned, his wife was having a cyber affair and my housemate was the "other woman."

In her crowd, cyber-relationships were a big deal. She would get pissed off or depressed. What's wrong, I would ask. "I just broke up with my online girlfriend." Or "my online girlfriend is cheating on me."

Hello!? How can you have a "girlfriend" who you are never going to even meet face to face, much less have sex with? And how can you possibly imagine that she is capable of being "unfaithful" to you?

In our pity and disgust, we invented the "206 rule," which states that she could only date people who lived in the same area code as us--namely "206."

This "poem" was my own attempt to humorously point out the sillyness of online "flirting," cyber-sexual relationships, and the impossibility of them ever really amounting to anything.

Does anyone remember the joke that curculated on usenet?-- It was about a cyber sex session that goes hillariously, disastrously wrong when the cyber-stud accidentally sets his cyber lover's cyber drapes on fire!

I bet Silence could find it for us.

November 20, 2004
9:47 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Oh, and I like the idea of being married to the Sea--that at least, is more realistic than having a cyber-girlfriend. I also thought it would be funny if the hero and the Sea weren't really speaking any more. Kind of a trial separation.

November 20, 2004
9:51 pm
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sewunique
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Now that is funny, imagine cyber anything on fire!

Have you ever read your poems at a true Coffee House? Not Starbucks.

I did last Nov to break my shyness. Was loads of fun.

You've got some pretty good stuff there.

November 20, 2004
10:01 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Haven't really tried to "go public" with my poems or music. Okay, some songs made it on to the soundtrack of an educational video once.

I like poetry, though. I rely so much on my bulging left cerebral hemisphere that I need to sometimes bust out of being the analytical Mr. Algorithm.

November 20, 2004
10:09 pm
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sewunique
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I must say my experience at the Coffee House was simply for fun. Even if you haven't been published, it is one avenue to try when you leave your left cerebral to have fun.

Most of what I have written is dark and oppressing. One should be able to write in a variety of tones. Yours are with some humour to them, which is good. Thanks for sharing.

November 21, 2004
9:40 am
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readyforachange
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your poetry is awesome...

you should publish...

thanks.

November 21, 2004
7:20 pm
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SweetAmanda
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Question: Why were these two lovers using fire while having sex? (Dare I ask?)

Was the cyber-stud lighting candles or something? Making a lovely romantic dinner?

November 21, 2004
7:47 pm
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Worried_Dad
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SweetAmanda,

Maybe I can find and post it safely back here--it deals with an adult situation, but isn't filthy--oh, here it is.

November 21, 2004
7:47 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Wal-Mart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner. It's smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you! Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hands suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly...I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing you hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take of my panties!

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you... ummm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking!

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit! I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover!

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know...thing...in your... you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around, an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener is all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh nooooo!

Sweetheart: Bye!!!

November 21, 2004
7:57 pm
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SweetAmanda
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I am honestly laughing! Really loud!

November 21, 2004
8:02 pm
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Worried_Dad
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It still makes me laugh, after all these years. How can something so stupid go so terribly wrong?

November 21, 2004
8:02 pm
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SweetAmanda
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I forgot that it was online. Really good mental pictures. I would have told him to go do himself way back in the beginning though. *LOL*

November 21, 2004
8:03 pm
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SweetAmanda
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Oh come now, you know that didn't really happen... Don't you WD?

November 21, 2004
8:19 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Of course it is an allegory, a work of fiction, an argumentum-ad-absurdum. I hope.

Oh god, the Drapes! HAhahahah.

November 22, 2004
10:07 pm
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brendalee
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Worried-Dad: You NEED to publish that in comic-book form! I am serious!!!!!! It's really fresh and new!!!!! Please check it out! Maybe google something like "underground comic book" or something. This is something that needs to be circulated to the masses!!!!! Also, about your cyber-poem - consider posting it under poetry.com. for real. (ps - just to let you know that the popular cartoon "South Park" started just like this...as a spoof. Maybe run this by the creators of south park...what have you got to lose?????) This IS great material!!!!!! Go for it!!!!

November 22, 2004
10:24 pm
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Worried_Dad
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The WellHung and Sweetheart story is not mine to publish.

The cyber-love, thing....well, I must confess I was thinking of Juanita when I wrote it. Wink wink Juanita!

Cyber-children though--that's funny. I think.

November 22, 2004
10:56 pm
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brendalee
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Cyber-children...great. STILL would be a great layout for an unusual comic book spread....not really sci-fi....call it...I Know...call it CYBER-FI. Take it and run with it Worried_Dad.....Cyber-Fi....gotta love it. A whole new genre!!!!timing is great. Check it out. You DO have the talent for this...after all...you really do need to do something with that bulging left hemisphere.......I'm curious....what would come up if you googled cyber-fi? Hmmmmmm.

November 23, 2004
1:38 am
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Worried_Dad
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Googling Cyber-Fi gets you…

Weird Cinema: http://www.vafilm.com/php-bin/.....php?id=104

Marine Corps: http://home.earthlink.net/~caj.....phere.html

More weird Cinema: http://www.verticalpool.com/aa.....sion1.html

And even more weird cinema: "The future of genetics, nanotechnology, and robotics are at the heart of 'Teknolust,'a new film from Lynn Hershman Leeson and starring Tilda Swinton. It's a cyber-fi story about SRAs (Self Replicating Automatons) - intelligent life forms that evolve to the point where they have the capacity to fall in love. Shot with the new 24p digital high definition camera, Teknolust features an artificial intelligent web agent, whom you can also meet in 'real life' on her web site, http://www.agentruby.com/. You are invited to chat Eliza-style with Ruby to help her reach her goal of becoming more intelligent than humans, and you can check back regularly to see how she's improving."

I think I’ll check this one out.

November 23, 2004
3:05 am
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SweetAmanda
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I love it

CYBER-FI

smooth.

November 23, 2004
9:32 am
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Cristine
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Worried... if you were thinking of Juanita when you wrote this, does it mean it's over between us????? HAHAHAHAHAHAH I think that all the girls on this site are now heartbroken that it wasn't written about them.

November 23, 2004
5:32 pm
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Anonymous
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I love your lighter side WD now that's talent..

Hang tough!!!! 😉

November 23, 2004
7:52 pm
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Wanttobewell
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Screamingly funny Worried Dad!!!

Laughed till I almost peed my pants!!

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