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The Horror of Online Dating
February 5, 2005
12:38 am
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on my way
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How about the "Horror of Liberation Threads?"

Well, it's Friday night and my son is playing x-box, and I am on-line, but no one seems to be here this evening. That is probably a good thing. Hope everyone has a great weekend...dating or no dating.

February 6, 2005
1:27 am
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SweetAmanda
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ARGH! Okay, I broke down and tried eHarmony again. (Before the specified time that I said I was going to. This coming May/June.)

Anyways, I can't be matched again! I even signed up for a new email and everything! I answered my questions faster than last time (I thought that might have been a reason), and I tried to keep my answers 'sane'... (The first time I did it I let my mood pick whatever I thought was best. This time I picked what I thought THEY would like/look for best.)

Fine then. *Hmpf* If I am still all alone come a year or so from now then maybe I will try it again. I dunno. (Hey, 3rd times the charm, right?)

Maybe I've still got some things to work on.

But I did email them, and they auto-responded. I will post those emails here for everyone. =)

Love ya!

~Amanda~

THE INFAMOUS EMAILS:

Hi. Well I filled out the questions to get a profile, and it said that it was
unable to match me.

Does that mean that I will never be able to use eHarmony? I was really looking
forward to it! I read two of Dr. Warren's books and in them he talked all about
this site.

Anyways, I am 20 years old. I read the 'user agreement' and I did see that it
said that I must be at least 21. I will be in May. Is that why it was unable
to match me? Because the computer registered my birthday as me being a 'minor'?

If so, will I be allowed to register as a user come this May?

If that's not the reason (I'm sure hoping that it is!) Why am I unable to be
matched? Am I messed up in the head?

Hmmm, maybe I don't want to know the answer to that question!

I'm kidding. I do want to know. I can take it!

I also have some suggestions: On some of the questions I was pulled. I didn't
know how to answer them. Like "Is it okay if your match drinks?" Well, for me
it would be okay as long as he wasn't a drunkard... But that wasn't an option
now was it?

Thanks for your help,
Amanda

Dear Amanda,

Thanks very much for your email.

Based on your answers to our Relationship Questionnaire we will not be able to
provide you with matching service.

The onsite message you received is used to notify people that they fall outside
the range of those we can accurately match with the eHarmony matching service.
Please allow me to explain what that means. eHarmony matches people by analyzing
their answers to the Relationship Questionnaire in order to accurately match
compatible types of people.

The difficulty with this technology is that about 20%, or roughly 1 in 5 people,
do not fit neatly into any of these categories. When that happens we are faced
with a dilemma. We could either match them anyway and hope for the best, or not
match them. We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches
to help people establish and enjoy happy, lasting relationships that we have
chosen to not provide service, instead of risking an uncertain match. We feel
that incompatible matches could easily lead to bad marriages; the very thing
eHarmony was created to prevent.

Please do not take our inability to match you as a reflection of your
desirability. We want you to feel totally welcome to spend time with us on our
site. Take advantage of every other part of our service – Our Personality
Profile, Q&A with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, and Enlightenment, our monthly
newsletter. One thing I can promise you is that all of us at eHarmony are deeply
committed to your welfare. We want you and everyone else involved with us to
end up with the life he or she most dreams of having.

To access your free personality profile, please go to http://www.eHarmony.com. At the
bottom of the screen you will see the text, "Login to complete your registration
or personality profile" next to form fields with the words "Username" and
"Password" directly above them. Enter your user name and your password in the
corresponding spaces then click the Login button. At the bottom of the screen
you will see the message referenced above ending with, "You can still receive
your free personality profile by clicking here." Please click the 'here' link
to access your profile.

February 6, 2005
9:58 pm
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Juanita
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Dear Wd....

Oh my, so sorry it took me so long to read this thread!!

If it was not for my being married, and the distance involved .... you would be a man I'd love to meet. Please understand too, this is quite a compliment for me to give (at least in my humble opinion) - there are not many men who capture my attention.

I do wish you the best. Some lucky gal is going to find a treasure trove in you.

You cook, clean, are hardworking, multi-talented with music, writing, and paintbrush .... have been rumored to provide bath tub soaks for two with bubbles, flowers, and jokes of the day to help unwind from working... A man who seems very well versed in the nature of human sexuality... You are bright, compassionate, PASSIONATE, loving, giving, caring ...

Damn. Would you consider me if I got divorced??? I give EXCELLENT foot rubs... ;o}

(sigh) you will indeed make some lucky woman very happy... and you deserve some woman who will make you very happy & then some!

All the best to you WD... You've won so many hearts over here - I would think it should be easy for you out there - anywhere!

They say love will find you when you least expect it & aren't looking for it either. So, relax and enjoy - the Love Bug will get to you. (Watch out though, she does like to nibble on necks & ear lobes!)

Juanita

February 6, 2005
11:25 pm
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Hi WD,
Anyone normal yet? And I say that with sincere interest, because your stories could be on the Twilight Zone, their dating segments.
And I agree with Juanita. What is wrong with those women??

February 7, 2005
8:52 am
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Juanita
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Honestly, if I were single, and met a guy like WD.... I think I'd never want to let him go. Has everything a gal could want.

What's wrong with the Seattle women?? (or should I ask, are they all transvestites??)

WD, come out to New England - there's bound to be a few snow bunnies out here who would love to warm you by the fire....

(sigh) were that I was single !

🙂

I can't help but have fond feelings for you, WD. You sent me love & told me many a guy would be willing to give up their left nut for a woman like me!! (hehe) Who couldn't love a man like that?!

Juanita

PS - and YES, I very SERIOUSLY wish you well!

February 9, 2005
8:42 am
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Juanita
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Any luck WD???

February 11, 2005
11:37 pm
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his was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the
audience to
find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner
described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no
question
as to why her tale took the prize!

Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy
had
taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight).
Not for Marilyn.
They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home
late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she
gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra
latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which
she
did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the
road,
or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her
pants
down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good
footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady
herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and
indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think
about
was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As
she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were
firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to
pump
handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh
from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new
problem
due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor, she answered her
date's
concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she
was
"freezing her butt off and needed some help"! He came around the car as
she
tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked
imploringly
into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they saw her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the
situation was, they
also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something
hot to free
her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free
so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip
his
pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down ...
or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date
was
embarrassing! This gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed off."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became
her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

February 11, 2005
11:44 pm
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SweetAmanda
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That is so romantic. Honestly. =) I think it's cute!

The fact that they could laugh about it, and that they came up with a solution and all.

How sweet!

Thanks omw!

February 11, 2005
11:47 pm
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I thought it was cute too. Nothing like an embarassing moment to "break the ice". !!

February 12, 2005
12:07 am
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sewunique
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Oh my word, OMW, this is so cute and sweet, especially the way it was told. I wonder in their retelling of the story right afterwards if that really helped to open up communication quickly?

February 21, 2005
2:55 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Here's another one. You know I tend to go for clever girls, so I often flag the ones with higher education.

What I have discovered is that "Doctor" or "Ph.D" in addition to being edcuational levels, are also codes. For some women, it is a code that means "prostitute." Is there some kind of acronym I'm missing here?

It is also a code for "scam artist."

So I got a chat request from a "brain surgeon" in Ghana of all places. Ok, were in yahoo chat, I see here photo album. The epitome of blonde. And she is quickly calling me "my dear" and "my love" asking me what airport I live near and can I meet her at the airport in a few days. I think it was coming down to would I send her money for "tickets." Gee, I guess I'm just so stupid that a photo of a blonde will make me wire money to Africa. Then she loads up the "Falling hearts on pink background" environment on yahoo.

So I gave her a brief quiz on brain anatomy of course. She didn't even know there the occipital lobe is, much less what it does. Also missed the question about where cerebrospinal fluid comes from.

So I loaded up "The Apprentice TV series" environment, clicked on the man, and up pops Donald Trump to shout "Your fired!"

That was my chat with a brain surgeon.

February 21, 2005
2:59 pm
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Now there is a beautiful rich opthalmologist in Canada who is paying attention to me now. Claims to be filtering for brains. Complained about her ex boyfriend witholding sex.

Now we are getting somewhere.

February 21, 2005
5:43 pm
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sewunique
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WD,

Heeheee about the "You're Fired!
Love it!

I've bee waiting patiently for your continued stories.....maybe you will need to get your eyes checked soon?

I was also thinking about you on my last plane trip; you're that kind of guy, I guess. Anyway, if the Yahoo doesn't work out for anything serious, why not try another avenue? Like an agency that screens everyone more carefully?

Ahhh, but then we would not have privy to your delightful tales!

Sew

February 22, 2005
1:53 am
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WD,
We have decided. After all of us go to Orlando in Nov., we are flying to Wash., we will contact you on these threads, and we will all meet for dinner. It has been dicussed. We all want to meet you.

February 22, 2005
2:00 am
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sewunique
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WD,

Not to be too forward, and I am not a librarian, but I am available!!!

We are all hoping the best for you, WD. (still available, here).

*** Sew ***

I know, I know, my come on lines are not too clever, I am out of practice!!!

February 22, 2005
2:43 am
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Worried_Dad
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Wish I could accomodate you, least I'd be likely to get a nonstalker babe from this group.

But the only way you can really get a date with me is to pay your $25.00 a month like everyone else(actually, I guess it's free for women?) and pick me out of the 5 million man menu. I'm the really really nice one.

February 22, 2005
1:16 pm
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GullyFoyle
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"I am not a librarian, but I am available!!!"

That's a come-on line?

"hey, babe, I'm not a contracts and procurement attorney, but I am available."

Gully

Not meaning to offend any contracts and procurement attorneys

February 22, 2005
1:29 pm
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sewunique
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Oh, it's the "hiya Babe" thing? Hmmmmm I don't get around much, huh? And the 'look' into your eyes for a few seconds thing? 😉

I am a better flirt off-line, I guess.

February 22, 2005
7:44 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Well, for a guy with a librarian kink it almost works. Implies that there's an inner librarian waiting to be released. Release....your inner...librarian.

February 23, 2005
2:10 am
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SweetAmanda
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Hey... Whaddaya know!

I'm a beautiful rich opthalmologist in Canada who just *happens* to be filtering for brains.

HeHe 😉

February 23, 2005
10:42 am
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Anonymous
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WD- I had a friend of mine who did send the girl money, totally got scammed. I think he learned his lesson now.

ONLINE dating sucks ass, that is where I met Mr. Jack and the ex before him.

I am not sticking with meeting men anywhere but the internet.

I hate the falling hearts background

February 23, 2005
12:45 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Aces,

Fortunately I'm a very clever fellow. I just hate being screwed with.

And the falling hearts background--well, that's practically grounds for dismissal in and of itself.

February 23, 2005
1:22 pm
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Cici
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And the falling hearts background--well, that's practically grounds for dismissal in and of itself.

:p

February 24, 2005
12:50 am
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just came back in on-line.

Gully, WD, not serious, but both of you are wonderful in your own way. A few of us might try to meet for a conference in Orlando, the old name tag, airport thing, I told Sew I would buy tickets if I could avoid hotel costs and stay at her place. Then, have to fly back west anyway...and it probably is the wish of most on these threads that we all could meet, but realistically, I know, we won't. So, we will just keep talking on the threads. WD, hopeit comes together for you in the dating scene...I would think you would atract that person who would unleash the "librarian" in you...that is very interesting. And Gully, a man who can share his feelings...all women want that in a guy. So there is hope for all of us, true.
Ok, no more violins...nite.

February 24, 2005
4:09 pm
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cuthul
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I really like Plentyoffish.com.

First, it is free. Second, it is fun with a great set of forums. I do my hunting off of the forums more than the searches.

With some success I may add.

(not that it is making me feel much better mind you)

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