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Thankful and blessed
August 20, 2005
9:47 am
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SoulSpirit
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I know I haven't been around for a while, as well as there is no way I can get caught on on "whats happening" to be able to offer any amount of comfort to all of you, so I thought I would offer up my learned lessons over the past few months, and pray that someone will see Christ in me, and KNOW that He is there for them.

I have been married 4 years, to a man 13 years younger than me. I also work as a manager of a business where I had kinda gotten lost in the goal of what I was supposed to be doing. I was tired, burnt out, and have been there 10 years. I had allowed the employees to run me instead of me running them. I went on vacation in June, and came back to work a different person. I had been on the beach, talking to God, asking Him to show me what I needed to do to get things back on track in my life, and I told Him I would do the best I could to wait on Him to show me and not take action myself without the Holy Spirit guiding me.

You must know in this story,that I have been a Christian since I was a child, but I can honestly say I have NEVER allowed Him to guide me. Yes, I know scripture, and yes, I work diligently to live by his commands and teachings, but I had NEVER allowed Him to have total control.

What a turnaround in my life for the past 2 months. The two employees that were causing me grief are gone... one of which forced me to fire him by his sexual behavior toward another employee, and the 2nd one quit because she was too busy listening to gossip to know I would not have betrayed her. I was amazed when she quit as she threw a childlike temper tantrum at age 54, and as the days unfolded after her leaving, God showed me what had happened in her mind. She had believed the devil when he tormented her about me, and made a choice that was her own demise.

Since then, while busy at work, and in a crazy way, God is still blessing me. He is sending me clients left and right to build the business back up. I am so tired when I get home, my brain can't absorb any more! And I am taken back by the positive feedback we are getting.

At home, life has been on a roller coaster. Hubby, though, has finally realized I am only one person, and is making a genuine effort to be a life partner. God has now provided a good side job for him which will allow him to help bring home the bacon so to speak instead of just eating it.

I am finally seeing the pressures of life come off of me, but I confess with my heart and my mouth, that all that has happened is because I have been quiet, focused on God, and listening to the Holy Spirit in my life.

I was listening to speaker yesterday, and he said it is what we KNOW that helps us in life. When we KNOW God, not just find him an acquaintenance in our life,that we can see His mighty hand leading us through. We must KNOW Him, as we KNOW ourselves, KNOW his promises, and KNOW how to watch for the works he is doing, and KNOW when it is the devils actions to cause us to stumble so we can make the right choices. We KNOW these things when we lean on him, and not our own understanding.

I pray that God will bless all of you with the knowledge He has so generously given to me, so that your lives too will be better, kinder, more loving, and prosperous.

August 20, 2005
10:08 am
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mamacinnamon
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SoulSpirit:

He has blessed me today w/ your story. Thank you so much for sharing.

August 20, 2005
10:16 am
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Rasputin
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Wow, your story rocks, SoulSpirit! I am at a stage in my life where I have been humbled by the Lord. I used to put 75% of trust in myself and only 25% on the Lord.

During healing process I went thru, the Lord brought me to place where I became 100% reliant on HIM. So, I can very well relate to you. It is very humbling but enriching experience. That's why I consider the Lord Jesus Christ as my best friend. Even in my most personal issues like going to grocery store or drug store, I consult HIM and He never lets me down.

I love Jesus with ALL my heart! I wish I could find boyfriend who has even 20% of Jesus' character; I would be the most delighted and most excited lady in this universe!!!

That's why the following biblical verse is one of my favorites:

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, lean NOT on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE shall bring it to pass."

Welcome back. We missed you, Smile! ~RAS~

August 20, 2005
2:52 pm
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angel4U
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Thank you all, I needed this today .. =))

SS - I struggle so much with the situation that happened with your 2nd employee ... "and the 2nd one quit because she was too busy listening to gossip to know I would not have betrayed her ... She had believed the devil when he tormented her about me, and made a choice that was her own demise."

It is so hard being in this kind of situation and having people react towards me based on their own insecurities/mistrust (I guess we all do sometimes though, huh?).

I actually had a boss that was extremely mistrustful that was also "supposed to" be a friend, and I never gave her reason to not trust me over the 8 1/2 years I knew her (she said this to me herself). But I never felt she ever really did trust me (or anyone for that matter). When she would go on one of her rampages (which would just come out of nowhere, and then she'd avoid me afterwards), I used to tell her that I felt like she was accusing, trying and convicted me of (1) things I was not doing and (2) without me ever getting a word in so that maybe she could see another perspective.

She was so bent on "her view" (and also her controlling ways - which she would counteract with "religious talk", which I think she tried to grasp on to for a piece of mind for herself, not realizing that she wasn't walking the talk at all), that the friendship ended up dissolving ... the last straw for me was when she harshly accused me of doing something to her and threatened me the day after I was layed off of my job (knowing that I was really going through a rough time). "My thoughts" are that because I was gone, she didn't have anyone else to control anymore ... and this killed her inside (I learned a month beforehand that she also felt threatened by my capabilities). Sooo, she took one last stab at me and I hung up on her (after politely telling her that if she kept on degrading me, that's what I was going to do). To be honest, I don't miss the friendship as it seemed like nothing but crazymaking on her part, and it drained me because I never really could feel relaxed with her (I always felt like I was waiting for her to turn again, which she always did).

I have had other people in my life like this, too. And now when I see it starting to happen with someone, a red flag goes off in my head and I tend to distance myself (to keep out of harm's way). I have asked people how in the world you get through to people like this so that peace can be found again, and the common response is "you can't". I was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences that they have been able to work through? And if so, how? ... or is it like I keep hearing, you have to walk away and let go with love (sometimes that's a tough one), and pray that they eventually find their own answers to their struggles.

August 20, 2005
3:53 pm
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on my way
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Thanks for sharing, always we need encouragement, to receive it and give it.

You all, God has brought me from a very dark place. I have been praying to be released from a problem I have carried with me for the last few years. Through it I realized that all that happened was for a reason, all of thedoubt, the pain, the hurt, has brought me where I am now...truly everything works together for good. We are protected as a Father protecting his child, he is faithful in ALL things, and always all to his glory, full circle.

Guess where I have been? Remember the king in the #2 movie Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers? It was the king that sat on the throne with the dauhter with the long blonds hair (cannot remember any of their names) but he was under the spell of Saramon and his dude in the black clothing...and the king was powerless and sort of in a black cloud. He seemed drugged, and controlled by something which robbed him of all matters of existence, esp his gifts and his appointed position as king. When the spell was broken, all of the evil that sourrounded him melted away, and he became who he was meant to be, and cont'd. his position as king...his looks changed back to normal. Remember, he was the blonde headed king.

This is where I have been, and I do not intend to go back. But even though I have been made free...I intend to bring this to prayer every day.

RAS, mamac...this is all about what I have shared with you. Interestingly enough one thing that began it all to open, was the exhaustion, spiritual exhaustion of me trying to figure out everything, including my threads about something I do not even need to undrestand or know about based on God's will for my life...the dreams, and intuition thing...it does not matter, not one little bit. However, my sister is marrying one of the most wonderful men God has ever made. We were talking about how he has literally been an 'angel' to our entire family. After talking to her, I said to God, "God may I have someone like R?" God said to me, "Yes, you can. But you keep trying to put men in black robes into men in white robes, and it just doesn't work that way." I thought how profound. Everything that I have been familiar with in my life, has been living in the world...just fitting God in when I was in trouble or when convenient. I ahve been one of thos Christians who says HELP 3/4 of my life...not really living, or recognizing all of the wonderful plans God has for me, beyond my wildest dreams. Instead I did it my way, and hung on to what I thought I needed. I was paralyzed and could not move forward. It affected so many areas of my life that I will not even go into here.

I have never been called to step over the line from the world I am comfortable with to the world where he wants me to be. The world where he wants me to be in unfamilar, and a bit scary, but I now know I am ready..God's timing, and he knows the way, the where, the what, the when, and the how of it all.

So in your distress, truthfully remember that everyone, evry situation in your life is specifically there to make your character into what he wants you to be,,,EVERYTHING girls, nothing gets passed his attention, he is guiding and leading the whole entire way.

I can look back on the last 5 yrs of my life, and all of the pain, grieviing, feeling unworthy, undeserving, etc, etc.!! has only brought me to where I am...the same for all of you. Never give up, always beleive, and keep your eye on the goal..run the race with passion, read and pray..pray everyday, even whe you think you know it all, even when God has brought you through a storm and you are feeling on top of the world....pray.

God is good, he loves us all, and we are not of this world, just passing through. Hold your heads up high, and remember what it is all for, and who made it all possible.

Ok, off my preaching!! lol.
Love to all of you!!!
omw

August 20, 2005
4:03 pm
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angel4U
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((((((((((((((OMW))))))))))))))))

OMW, your words were a breath of fresh air to me!, and also broughta trar of joy to my eye! THANK YOU!!!! I so much believe in all that you shared, and have "preached" (if you want to call it that) those same words MANY times to others. But boy is it hard to remember when that black cloud is hanging over me and I am in one of those "struggles". But this is also what gets me Out of that black hole. And it all boils down to FAITH!
... and I can so much realte to what you share here ...

"I can look back on the last 5 yrs of my life (for me it's MANy more), and all of the pain, grieviing, feeling unworthy, undeserving, etc, etc.!! has only brought me to where I am...the same for all of you. Never give up, always beleive, and keep your eye on the goal..run the race with passion, read and pray..pray everyday, even whe you think you know it all, even when God has brought you through a storm and you are feeling on top of the world....pray."

Thank you again so much, OMW! And have a Blessed & Peaceful day!

Hugs and LOTs of lovin' comin' back atcha!!!

angel4U

August 20, 2005
6:22 pm
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mamacinnamon
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OMW: I think you have just hit what most folks forget. It is all in God's timing; not ours. It's so so important that we ask if it be HIS will, and that we wait on him.

Oh, by the way, you said to God. "God may I have someone like R?" First I am glad you are asking God about a mate. That's actually how I got my now hubby. I walked in and saw him and did the quick look up to Heaven and said "Thanks God, put that in front of my face and I'll not ever have anyone like him" lol. God definitely has a sense of humor. He said "Fine, you think that then there ya go". But, now hubby has been pretty darn good and he truly loves me. 🙂

Hold out gals for what God has planned for you. It'll be much much more than you can have ever imagined.

August 20, 2005
6:48 pm
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hoping_2_feel_again
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I know God works in mysterious ways, and the fact that I read this thread reinforces it.

I have been down, and starting to doubt God. Your words have shown me that I will continue to trust in God's perfect timing.

Only satan can make me think good things won't happen, and I will NOT let him have power over my mind.

You guys are a true blessing to me each and every day. Thank you for your words of truth and wisdom.

h2fa

August 21, 2005
8:30 am
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CODA_Mom
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Thank you, all, I don't have time to post much but am absorbing all of your input. You all "rock" :)), I know this is a saying that my teens like to use, but it fits here.

Soul, thanks for starting this thread, we all are benefiting from it. It is reminding me to look at my life more with gratitude than at what I don't have.

(((((Hugs))))) to all

CM

August 21, 2005
10:19 pm
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SoulSpirit
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Once again, I am thankful that God has seen fit to use me to help someone else. I wish I had more time to spend here, and I will as He allows. I am blessed by your responses and that so many were touched.

August 22, 2005
1:44 am
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mamacinnamon
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SS:

I am blessed by your presence. Of course God sees fit to use you. All you have to say is "here I am Lord" and look out. He'll find the time for you.

Glad you are here. 🙂

August 22, 2005
4:22 pm
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on my way
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Hey,
I am blessed by your words and presence too..it is one reason we are here, yes?

Hugs, and blessings,
omw

August 22, 2005
10:45 pm
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SoulSpirit
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I learned today, that we MUST stay in the word and reading our Bibles daily. This knowledge that we gain by reading the word, the Holy Spirit will use to show us the way God has for us! What an eye opening experience!

Keep on reading!!

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