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Tez, How are you?
May 3, 2008
5:24 pm
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garfield9547
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Hi Tez

Creating a new thread for you. It's 11:17 Saturday evening here and I am going to bed now. I know its Sunday by you and I know how alone Sundays can get at the best of times.

How have you been?

Love

Garfield

May 4, 2008
3:12 am
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Yep - It is Sunday afternoon and I am all alone.

Thanks for the compassion you have shown in thinking about how I must be feeling.

This is my second day alone. I arose at 5 am, approx 40 minutes before first light. I dressed in my walking gear and set off down the dark country road where I live heading for my favorite 'mountain'. Walking through the bush in the semi-dark was a bit scary. But by the time I reached the hill top the sun was just peeping over the horizon. The cool mountain air was fresh and I breathed it in deeply. Concentrating on the air flowing in and out, my thoughts slowly subsided. I felt the tiredness of my leg muscles recovering after the climb. My emotions settled and a lovely tranquility passed through me. I felt completely connected to the whole universe for those few brief minutes. I then set out down the 'mountain' to complete my 6.5 km walk. By then the birds were all singing and the fields with their cows were flooded with the first rays of the sun. I trapzed along the road with only a low level emotional pain in the pit of my stomach to remind me that I was going to have breakfast alone.

After breakfast, I went shopping in the local supermarket in order to re-stock my fridge. That kept my mind off the empty home. 'Shopping' held at bay that dreadful spectre of loneliness that has at its very core the illusory disconnectedness that so nourishes it.

Yes, I have had moments of recriminations during which I have played that stupid 'what if' game in my head.

But the bottom line is this:

All relationships are temporary without exception. There is a time for everything, including the end of a relationship. Sadly ours had come to an end. A new beginning has begun. The world is my oyster and my choices for how I will spend my future life are many. What I have to avoid is the desperate grasping at another human being with the selfish motive of seeking relief for the pain loneliness brings.

I seek universal connectedness! I can either use my mind in meditation or my dick in trying to achieve that. The former leads to peace, tranquility and growth; whilst the latter leads to further pain and discontentment. The choice seems easy - yet sex is very seductive and powerful. I sometimes envy women who don't seem to have testosterone fueling their sexual drives into becoming coercive 'imperatives' like we men do.

I'm lecturing myself here. I need to do this as I don't always follow that wise inner voice that tells me what's best for me. I have kept away from the dance scene. Once I have a nice woman in my arms and I am engaged in doing a beautiful modern waltz to the strains of some exquisite music, I am transported into heaven. That is my immediate temptation. Whilst this activity is all innocent enough at face value, it is where it leads that is the worry. It's easy for me to say to myself: "Just make sure that you go home alone." Hmmmmm! If I have no other choice there is the pain of abandonment. If there is a choice then will my dick reign supreme or will my better judgment rise to the occasion? I just don't know the answer to that question. I guess that I am very vulnerable at the moment, whichever outcome.

I've been in this predicament before. This time I am determined to manage my slowly subsiding emotional pain a lot better than I did last time.

Thanks again for caring.

Hugs

Tez

May 4, 2008
5:43 am
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hey tez, im sorry to hear the situation you're in. i didnt know this had happened. i wish you the best of luck. i know something will work out and you'll find someone that matches up with you.

and guess what.. cutie pie came back to town and saw me and called me out. i know what not to do this time, but thankfully we are friends again. i didnt want her to hate me.

i will remember you saying that all relationships are temporary. it sorts of lightens the load around the whole 'relationship' concept. society makes us think it should be permanent.

May 4, 2008
9:46 am
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Tez

Its nice to get up early in the morning. So refreshing. 6.5km walk is quite a distance I must say, but the excercise rids one of lots of unwanted built-up emotion. (temporalily anyway)

Keeping yourself busy (as I see you have done) can be very helpfull in these times.

You said

"'Shopping' held at bay that dreadful spectre of loneliness that has at its very core the illusory disconnectedness that so nourishes it. "

Do you realize that you have all the tools one can ever hope for to get through this?
You studied and investigated etc your situation and analized your past in a way that I have never seen anybody else do.

You can analize your responses to women and pinpoint your emotions and where they are coming from.

But like me and my husband and our situation to go throught the realisations and make a change is another ketlle of fish, BUT it can be done. Not like the experts say we must do it, books etc. Just in our own way we found common ground. So will you.

This is truely a painfull emotional time you are going throught and like everything has a end so will this time in your life also end and it will be time to start with a new chapter.

Actually looking at all of this Tez the new chapter has already begun.

Will share with you in good time what has helped us throught this.

And in the end we discovered that this whole issue had Nothing to do with our relationship, but everything to do with our relationship with ourselves.

Thanks for your reply. Enjoy your week and remember I am here to listen and share.

Love

Garfield

May 4, 2008
7:55 pm
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Thanks guest_guest.

You wrote:

"it sorts of lightens the load around the whole 'relationship' concept. society makes us think it should be permanent."

All is impermanent. Sometimes it is hard to cop it sweet.

A rooster today, a feather duster tomorrow. 🙂

May 4, 2008
8:03 pm
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Garfield9547.

Thanks for your thoughful response of 4-May-08 as well as the compliment. It was nice to hear.

Yes, I have the "tools" as you say. If I can keep that 'pity pot' locked away and use the tools that I have then I will continue to be just fine.

I agree that it is all about our relationship with ourselves. If we are not happy in that relationship we certainly won't be happy in any other!

Thanks for your kindness, Garfield.

Hugs

May 5, 2008
3:19 pm
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Hi Tez

I am busy working on my own relationship again after a loooong break.

This whole thread round you and Joy triggered it and yet again I have learned and awakened to the fact that I have work that needs to be done. I can also reflect on where I was and where i am now. I feel good about the fact that I could at least realise my problem and working on it.

On my journey I found a nice article from Robert Burney and want to share it with you.

http://www.joy2meu.com

"We must start recognizing our powerlessness over this disease of Codependence. As long as we did not know we had a choice we did not have one. If we never knew how to say "no," then we never really said "yes."

We were powerless to do anything any different than we did it. We were doing the best we knew how with the tools that we had. None of us had the power to write a different script for our lives.

We need to grieve for the past. For the ways in which we abandoned and abused ourselves. For the ways we deprived ourselves. We need to own that sadness. But we also need to stop blaming ourselves for it. It was not our fault!

We did not have the power to do it any differently.

As long as we are holding onto the guilt and feeling ashamed, it means that on some level we think we had the power. We think that if we would have just done it a little differently, if we had just done it "right," if we could have just said the "right" thing, then we could have controlled it and had it come out the way we wanted.

The part of you that is telling you that is your disease. The part of you that tells you that you are not lovable, that you are not worthy, that you are not deserving, is the disease. It is trying to maintain control because that is all that it knows how to do.

We are not "better than." We are also not "less than." The messages that we are "better than" come from the same place that the messages of "less than" come from: the disease.

And if you are right now judging yourself for not being happy enough or healed enough - that is your disease talking. Tell it to fuck off!!

It is not who you are - it is only a part of you. We can stop giving power to that part of us. We can stop being the victims of ourselves."

The disease has power when we believe the critical parent voice.
When we are feeling something "negative" and buying into the negative messages is when we go into the downward spiral - when we crash and burn.

(Emotions are not negative or positive, it is our reaction to them that gives them value - ie, sadness is very positive when we are grieving, if our perspective is aligned with Truth.)

"If I am feeling like a "failure" and giving power to the "critical parent" voice within that is telling me that I am a failure - then I can get stuck in a very painful place where I am shaming myself for being me. In this dynamic I am being the victim of myself and also being my own perpetrator - and the next step is to rescue myself by using one of the old tools to go unconscious (food, alcohol, sex, etc.) Thus the disease has me running around in a squirrel cage of suffering and shame, a dance of pain, blame, and self-abuse.
By learning to set a boundary with and between our emotional truth, what we feel, and our mental perspective, what we believe - in alignment with the Spiritual Truth we have integrated into the process - we can honor and release the feelings without buying into the false beliefs."

The child in us has a reason to feel like a "failure."
Because our parents weren't capable of Loving themselves or of emotional honesty - we felt like there was something wrong with us.

We felt responsible for the deprivation or abuse or abandonment that we experienced.

"The hardest thing for any of us to do is to have compassion for ourselves. As children we felt responsible for the things that happened to us. We blamed ourselves for the things that were done to us and for the deprivations we suffered.

There is nothing more powerful in this transformational process than being able to go back to that child who still exists within us and say, "It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just a little kid.""
We need to have internal Boundaries with and between the emotional and mental components of our being so that we can:

- feel our feelings without being the victim of them or victimizing others with them;

- achieve some balance between feeling and thinking, intuitive and rational;

- know which feelings are telling us the Truth and which are reactions to old wounds so that we can discern between emotional honesty and indulgence.

Boundaries:

- with the disease/critical parent voice so that we can stop giving power to the judgment and shame on a personal level & stop letting our own mind be our worst enemy;

- between being and behavior so that we can take responsibility without blaming ourselves;

- with our inner children to allow us to Lovingly parent and set boundaries for the wounded children within which allows us to own the magical, spontaneous, creative, Spiritual child inside;

Boundaries which:
- allow us call on the Power Within any time, any place, that we need it

- allow us to relax and enjoy life more.

"It was vitally important for me to learn how to have internal boundaries so that I could lovingly parent (which, of course, includes setting boundaries for) my inner children, tell the critical parent/disease voice to shut up,
and start accessing the emotional energy of Truth, Beauty, Joy, Light, and Love. It was by learning internal boundaries that I could begin to achieve some integration and balance in my life, and transform my experience of life into an adventure that is enjoyable and exciting most of the time."

Love to you

May 6, 2008
2:14 am
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garfield9547.

Thanks for your post and the cut and paste.

I'm feeling fine today. Been shopping again buying all the things that I need to take care of myself. This self-nurture is sure having a positive effect on me.

I'm going through all my stuff and getting rid of everything that I am never likely to use.

It is a new beginning for me.

One thing my break up has reinforced for me is the need to communicate well everything honestly and openly. This business of saying to myself: "It will upset her if I mention that such and such is annoying me." is what causes all the psychological shit to pile up until one day splattt!

To communicate in a sensitive way is a real challenge. Putting things in a way wherein no criticism is implied isn't always easy. Keeping one's emotions out of the voice is difficult at times.

Just a "Hmmmmm!" with the wrong intonations can be very hurtful. I have a lot of "mindfulness" practice to do in order to see what my mind is doing at every given instant..

May 9, 2008
1:16 pm
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Hi Tez

It's EVENTUALLY Friday evening here and I have time to talk. Hectic week and with a husband that wants to emigrate a.s.a.p. to Australia is another thing. Anyway this will NOT happen soon, but I am very glad he has got some form of his fantasy world back. As the lack of dreaming, seening forward to things, fantasining etc is surely the road to death emotionaly.

You said

"I'm going through all my stuff and getting rid of everything that I am never likely to use. "

Getting rid of things you never really used is just a reflection of a emotional cleansing prosess. It's as if I can see you looking at the world through different glasses.

Something inside of you have changed. It's good news man!

You said

"It will upset her if I mention that such and such is annoying me." is what causes all the psychological shit to pile up until one day splattt! "

It will upset her..... This was your thinking and you realized and got to the bottom of it Tez. This is a very important eye opener as to how you are starting to change your thinking and reaction to it.

Then you said

"To communicate in a sensitive way is a real challenge"

Yes, this is true. Only realizing afterwards that I was critical puts this into perspective. Acting to defend myself yes yes This is a hard one

You said

"Putting things in a way wherein no criticism is implied isn't always easy"

This is were we need to split our feelings from what is real and what is fantasy in a way.

Is what the other person says really critisim against me???? or is it just the way I am programmed and need to deprogram myself.

This is where I needed to see myself as separate from others and never did. There feelings are not mine. I am not them ........ What they say applies for them and I cannot take it as if it was against me. I am not them. I am me.

Stop making excuses for being me, for living. I am fine. If I just believed it I would act it.

Gosh.......

May 9, 2008
7:31 pm
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Tez,

Thinking of you. Have a good weekend. 🙂

omw

May 10, 2008
3:45 am
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Hi Garfield9547 & OMW.

Thaks for both of your responses.

Hmmmm! A good weekend? I went dancing last night(Friday). I never missed a single dance. But I had a lousy time. Outside I was faking it while all the time I felt so alone and sad inside.

I went home at the end of the dance telling myself a load of crap. I told myself: "This is it for you, boy - the rest of your life alone with no one." Hmmm! Even though on an intellectual level I knew this was not likely, on an emotional level I 'felt' absolutely certain that it was true.

It is Saturday evening now and I can't face going dancing again tonight. I think I will go to bed really early and have a nice long sleep, rise early before dawn and go for my bush walk. I will probably go to my club dance tomorrow night(Sunday)- if I feel up to it. But I'm heartily sick of explaining over and over that Joy and I have parted. Some women say to me: "She'll be back." That irritates me. It is as if they see this as some trivial 'school ground' tiff.

To make matters worse, Joy told a girlfriend of hers that she "still loves me". This came straight back to me - with good intentions on the girlfriend's part, I suppose. Or it could be that Joy is also in pain too.

I am very ambivalent about my feelings. I know that I am missing Joy(especially as a dance partner). I have an overwhelming urge to ring her to try to 'sweet talk' her. This urge I will resist. If I am honest with myself I have to admit that I am just selfishly wanting pain relief - not to have Joy back in my life. In my heart I know that even if I got her back it would not work. In a short time she would irritate me again.

I'm in a low emotional state that I know will pass. I just have to ride it out with the help of a lot of meditation, work outs with my weights, and dancing for the sake of dancing - not seeking to get physical connectedness through sex to avoid pain.

This is the awful thing that I have to admit to myself: I know that if, right now, I had sex with a woman whom I found reasonably attractive, I know that my pain would go and Joy would disappear from my mind altogether. Hmmmm!!! This won't happen!!

I'm looking for connectedness. This is telling me that I have somehow 'disconnected' myself in my mind from 'all that is'. This is telling me that I am deluded enough to think on a deep level that I can 'reconnect' to the universe through the physical act of sex.

As if anyone can 'disconnect' from 'All that is' anyway. Hmmmm!

It is amazing what the 'moving' mind creates for itself - in my case emotional pain. Next time I will try to choose my parents much more carefully. 🙂

May 10, 2008
2:33 pm
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Tez

Can you believe tomorrow is Sunday again, its been a week.

I can just imagine the feelings of being connected and the joys a dance can bring. And this is one of your passions. Man! This can also be veeeery dangerous.

Everybody has a need to connect. And this is just a fact. But feeling the need to connect brings about intense emotional pain because you are unsure and do not know how else to get connected emotionally and also do not want to fall in a trap again.

This is hard and painfull.

You said

"To make matters worse, Joy told a girlfriend of hers that she "still loves me". This came straight back to me - with good intentions on the girlfriend's part, I suppose. Or it could be that Joy is also in pain too. "

NO doubt in mind Tez, Joy is also in pain. I,ve got 10 T-Shirts going throught the emotional pain of first having to separate and then starting to trust again to connect in a healthy way.

Tez

You said

"This is the awful thing that I have to admit to myself: I know that if, right now, I had sex with a woman whom I found reasonably attractive, I know that my pain would go and Joy would disappear from my mind altogether. Hmmmm!!! This won't happen!! "

These words of yours are unfortunately very true. The pain does go away temporarily.

But acting out is the start of a whole new cicle. Thinking of the next fix.

In therapy my husband said that during sex he was already thinking of what he will need to do to get the next session. Sometimes not even enjoying the sex as much as thinking of when next.....

I just numbed myself with some wine and then nothing mattered and was also relieved after sex, because I was thinking well now I can relax for two or three days. We were unable to connect on a healthy level.

Even communicate on a honest level like you said in a previous post, was impossible.

I am talking about myself tooo much.

You said

"I'm looking for connectedness. This is telling me that I have somehow 'disconnected' myself in my mind from 'all that is'. This is telling me that I am deluded enough to think on a deep level that I can 'reconnect' to the universe through the physical act of sex"

If you feel disconnected and cannot yet connect on a heatlhy level you will feel disconnected from life as a whole. A painfull period that you are going through and in my mind this never goes away, but getting the 'tools' to handle it better everytime it occurs.

As time goes by you will be able to look back on where you had been and see how you have grown emotionally.

You said

"As if anyone can 'disconnect' from 'All that is' anyway. Hmmmm! "

Depends on what your mind tells you
"All that is" is at this stage.

Unmet expectations also has allot to do with this.

By now you would of been finished with your bush walk and I hope you enjoyed it.

Till later

Love

Garfield

May 13, 2008
5:29 pm
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Hi Garfield.

Thanks for your post.

I'm off dancing shortly. But I'm not enjoying it very much yet.

I'm working at keeping my mind in the present as much as possible. This seems to help quell those painful emotions for a while until those pesky thoughts come back to stir me up again.

Life goes on - such is life.

May 14, 2008
2:29 am
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Tez

I can understand that you would find it difficult to enjoy the dancing.

To enjoy a dance for me would meen immediate connection to the other person. Thats a given.

I really do not know how you do it.

Take care

Love

Garfield

May 14, 2008
7:16 pm
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garfield9547

Both music and dance have a strange spiritual quality in common.

The whirling dervishes of the Sufi religion experience heightened awareness, trance like states and bliss in their periodic gyrations.

The beautilul Strauss waltz music combined with ballroom dancing can lift the spirit to the heavens. When waltzing in sequence with 90 or more other people to beautiful music such as Puccini's 'Oh My Beloved Father', there is a feeling of connectedness that goes well beyond connectedness just to the partner with whom I am dancing.

Then on a more mundane level, there is the benefit derived from 3 to 4 hours of physical exertion experienced in almost continuous dancing.

I had a great morning's dancing yesterday. I returned home and worked all afternoon, cooked myself a nice meal, went to bed at 9 p.m dog tired, and slept like a baby until the alarm went off at 5 a.m. I promptly arose and in total darkness tramped off down the road. From the bush on 'my mountain top', I watched the sun rise. I then had about 10 minutes meditation before setting off home. I arrived home at about 7 a.m. and had a lite breakfast. Now I am writing this at 9.14 a.m. Life is good for me at the moment.

May 16, 2008
12:26 pm
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Tez

you said

"When waltzing in sequence with 90 or more other people to beautiful music such as Puccini's 'Oh My Beloved Father', there is a feeling of connectedness that goes well beyond connectedness just to the partner with whom I am dancing. "

Yes there is a connectedness thats totally different and goes well beyond connecting with a partner, so if you have this boundery in place and can keep the two separate and act accordingly you will be fine with it.

Then you would be able to enjoy dancing withour the fear...

I can see that you are keeping yourself busy.

you said

"Life is good for me at the moment. "

I am glad to hear this Tez. Keep it up and enjoy the week-end

Till later

May 16, 2008
6:43 pm
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garfield9547

You wrote:

"Yes there is a connectedness thats totally different and goes well beyond connecting with a partner, so if you have this boundery in place and can keep the two separate and act accordingly you will be fine with it."

Even though this statement seems contradictory at a perfunctory level, I know what you mean. In other words you are saying: "Don't become connected with 'the all' to the extent that 'physical connectedness' in sex with 'the one' results from the euphoria".

Women are much better than men in maintaining a clear head when it comes to giving into their sexual drives. I think that this wisdom is the result of the lack of testosterone with which men are handicapped, but I could be wrong.

Of course, I know that what you say is very wise.

The 'sexual relationships' game is a mine field. One or two wrong 'moves' and 'boooooom'.

May 17, 2008
1:56 am
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Tez

you said

""Don't become connected with 'the all' to the extent that 'physical connectedness' in sex with 'the one' results from the euphoria".

Yes, this is what I mean. There is a fine line.

I just could not imagine you taking the risk of dancing at this stage. After reading your post I understand you much better.

The connectedness you get from dancing in a big group (and how you explained it)gives me this healing feeling.

you wrote

"Both music and dance have a strange spiritual quality in common."

Just thinking of how I connect listening to music I like. It gives me a boost if I sing with the song and let it all out.

you wrote

"The 'sexual relationships' game is a mine field. One or two wrong 'moves' and 'boooooom'

It all depends on which emotions we react in order to connect.

Difficult for me to explian this one to you. Let me ask you this.

Would you be able to have orgasmic sex with a partner without critisizing her in your brain and acting as if she was just 'like my mother'?

Weird question I could only ever ask you Tez. Others might think I've lost it.

heheee

love to you

May 18, 2008
5:52 pm
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garfield9547

You wrote:

"Would you be able to have orgasmic sex with a partner without critisizing her in your brain and acting as if she was just 'like my mother'?"

Of course I am able to do this. In fact I can never remember ever having sex with any woman and consciously thinking "Oh she's just like my mother." Conscious thoughts about my mother have never entered my awareness while having sex or in selecting a sexual partner.

However, having said that, I believe that the formations of the 'mother/father template' are well and truly hidden in the unconscious and takes quite a bit of insight to see. I believe that, albeit unconsciously, these primary caregiver 'template' formations underpin and govern, at least in part, the height and intensity of our orgasms.

In fact, generally speaking, I believe that most of the cause/effects of our previous conditioning are well hidden from us.

Vipassana meditation, or insight meditation, is partly about discovering and becoming consciously aware of the inner depths and nature of our own preconditioning that both unconsciously drives our actions and underpins our conscious thoughts.

This psychological and emotional preconditioning is often given the often misunderstood name 'karma', IMO.

May 20, 2008
5:18 pm
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Tez

you wrote

"However, having said that, I believe that the formations of the 'mother/father template' are well and truly hidden in the unconscious and takes quite a bit of insight to see"

I agree and our actions speaks louder than words OR understanding the situation.

you wrote

"In fact, generally speaking, I believe that most of the cause/effects of our previous conditioning are well hidden from us."

It is well hidden and the truth about all our knowledge lies in how we act and react when we get confronted with our "mother template"

What really hit me between the eyes was when you wrote about Joy being busy packing the boxes as you were writing in responce to my post to you.

NEVER mentioning why this happened and what was leading to this break-up.

Just a thought.....

Take care

May 21, 2008
12:52 am
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garfield9547

On the 20-May-08 you wrote:

"What really hit me between the eyes was when you wrote about Joy being busy packing the boxes as you were writing in responce to my post to you.

NEVER mentioning why this happened and what was leading to this break-up."

I'm not sure what point you are making here. But I will address your statement as best I can.

Firstly, my post to BevDee on the 26-Apr-08, on the "Was Jesus Christ a Buddhist saint called Issa?" thread was my lengthy take on why Joy and I broke up.

Secondly, Joy and I actually parted company on the 1st May 2008 some 5 days later. Joy made the decision to leave me on the 23rd April 2008 after a trivial incident that was nothing more than a trigger not the cause. The incident is not worth recounting as it was really irrelevant. She was still 'packing boxes' at the time I posted
to BevDee on the 26th April 2008 giving my 'story'.

Rehashing the details of why Joy and I broke up over again on another thread is painful for me and serves no good purpose that I can see.

If you are interested please see my post to BevDee as mentioned above for my take prior to the separation.

May 23, 2008
1:11 pm
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Tez

I apologise, only read BevDee's whole post now. I understand. Not that I have to, but it bugged me that she just upped and left.

I think in a strange way I connected with Joy's pain as well and just wondered if there were any method in her madness, so to speak.

I realise that this is not helping you at all and it was not my intention. Although, saying this and looking at my previous post to you I cannot believe what I said and that I allowed myself to get so worked up and emotional.

I mean what the hell has it got to do with me anyway!!!!!!!

I feel like shit right now....

Till later

May 26, 2008
1:06 am
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Garfield9547.

You wrote:

"I feel like shit right now...."

There is absolutely no need to feel that way. You weren't to know. I don't follow every thread closely either.

You wrote:

" think in a strange way I connected with Joy's pain as well and just wondered if there were any method in her madness"

I'm sure that there is "method in her madness". She has a new dance partner/bf already. But that is beside the point.

What is more pertinent to you is why you felt so "bugged" and why you "connected with Joy's pain"; a pain that appears me to have lasted less than 'ten minutes' as it were - though just long enough to enjoy the dramatic TV soapie style pathos of it! But then there are always 2 sides to every break up story. Here you are only getting my side of it!

May 31, 2008
12:33 pm
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garfield9547
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September 24, 2010
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Tez

you wrote

"There is absolutely no need to feel that way. You weren't to know. I don't follow every thread closely either. "

Thank you, I feel relieved.

you wrote

"She has a new dance partner/bf already. But that is beside the point."

This women must be flippen dead emotionally if she can find it in herself to be in a new relationship just weeks after the break-up.

Now you have to face her and her new bf every time you go dancing. One of your passions in life.

How are you coping with this emotionally?

Enjoy your week-end.

Love to you

May 31, 2008
12:33 pm
Avatar
garfield9547
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Tez

you wrote

"There is absolutely no need to feel that way. You weren't to know. I don't follow every thread closely either. "

Thank you, I feel relieved.

you wrote

"She has a new dance partner/bf already. But that is beside the point."

This women must be flippen dead emotionally if she can find it in herself to be in a new relationship just weeks after the break-up.

Now you have to face her and her new bf every time you go dancing. One of your passions in life.

How are you coping with this emotionally?

Enjoy your week-end.

Love to you

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