I
will miss you my friend, and think of you often.

(((BFgirl)))

(((BFG)))

I think taking a
break from here is a good idea. I think you are in sensory
over-load!

You've made leaps
and bounds here. You should be proud of yourself. You've got a lot
of tools now to help make things better for yourself. Maybe take a
step back and give yourself a chance to process it all? Start using
those tools in the "real" world with real people. It's very
difficult to practice things here when one is bombarded with drama,
problems, drama and more problems. You're not allowing any room for
calm so that when a "situation" does happen you can practice using
your tools. You haven't allowed yourself any reflection. Does that
make sense?

I go in waves here
myself. I won't post as much and just read. Only difference is I
don't announce it. I find that when I'm really active here (like
lately) I usually get in some kind of "trouble". LOL It's all
good.

Love,

Hep

. "I
find that when I'm really active here (like lately) I usually get
in some kind of "trouble" Hepburn- I know exactly what you
mean.

I too
step back and just observe when a certain person posts and another
one as well. I think that's the trick- let them come through and
and light all their fires, but don't be a part of the fuel. Then
they smolder out. Hurting people hurt people, and they do this, but
we don't have to be part of the ones they hurt, we can step away.
BFgirl, this is an important survival strategy I think. Most of us
want people to accept us, to believe in us, and we want to connect,
but there are those who are not at this stage- they want to lash
out, to hurt, to feel powerful this way. I for one feel powerful
when I don't let them do that to me, by stepping back ans sometimes
standing up, and then letting go.

andii

BFG-You said "others may or may not see it but you have REALLY
hurt me a few times around here...don't act like you have no idea
what you said...I seen yoy do this to others as well...say mean
things and then go elsewhere". I have seen this.

"You
sadden me ma...you call urself a minister and yet you judge so
harshly". I hear you. I guess that is why the SC does not allow
discussions about religion on the support side. I would be thrilled
if any reference to religion would be thrown of this site all
together. All it ever does is stir up hate and discontent. It
doesnt matter who a person is or who they think they are, we are
all anonymous here and our input is equally valuable and needed.
Hiding behind titles and using authority only interferes with these
peoples recovery.

I hope this place
is a place where people can come as they are.

Bitsy- Hi. I think you need to worry about your problem with me
not BFG.

BFG-
I NEVER said you said or did anything that has personally offended
me.

Bitsy- For the sake of your own recovery please read this and
worry about yourself. "Controlling Behaviors: codependents try to
control events and people through helplessness, guilt, coercion,
threats, advice-giving, manipulation, or domination. They are
afraid to let people be who they are or let events happen
naturally. They've lived in so many situations in which they had no
control (abuse, alcoholism, etc) that they now try to control
everything and get frustrated and angry when they cannot. They end
up feeling controlled by events. They feel controlled by others.
They resist change as if change were a contagion."