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September 27, 2010

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September 24, 2010

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September 29, 2010

(((BFG)))
I think taking a
break from here is a good idea. I think you are in sensory
over-load!
You've made leaps
and bounds here. You should be proud of yourself. You've got a lot
of tools now to help make things better for yourself. Maybe take a
step back and give yourself a chance to process it all? Start using
those tools in the "real" world with real people. It's very
difficult to practice things here when one is bombarded with drama,
problems, drama and more problems. You're not allowing any room for
calm so that when a "situation" does happen you can practice using
your tools. You haven't allowed yourself any reflection. Does that
make sense?
I go in waves here
myself. I won't post as much and just read. Only difference is I
don't announce it. I find that when I'm really active here (like
lately) I usually get in some kind of "trouble". LOL It's all
good.
Love,
Hep
12:00 am

September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

BFG I
will miss u too. Really, i have been gone a little while,working
and just tired with the push and pull of life. I have read what
pissed u off. And i truly understand ur feelings. I feel people can
say what they mean, with out saying it mean..But i am learning i am
here for me.To talk about me.I am no expert. Just a sick person
trying to get better.And no one is always right.I have observed
when a certain person post ( notice there is a amen corner on this
site)..BFG just take what u need and leave the rest. ((((sending
hugs ur way))))))))))
12:00 am

September 27, 2010

I too
step back and just observe when a certain person posts and another
one as well. I think that's the trick- let them come through and
and light all their fires, but don't be a part of the fuel. Then
they smolder out. Hurting people hurt people, and they do this, but
we don't have to be part of the ones they hurt, we can step away.
BFgirl, this is an important survival strategy I think. Most of us
want people to accept us, to believe in us, and we want to connect,
but there are those who are not at this stage- they want to lash
out, to hurt, to feel powerful this way. I for one feel powerful
when I don't let them do that to me, by stepping back ans sometimes
standing up, and then letting go.
andii
12:00 am

September 27, 2010

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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

What
did I do ds? How did I hurt you? Please do not speak for
others...its their place to bring that to me...not yours... I would
like to know what I did to you...if I said something hurtful...then
yes please tell me, so I can say I am sorry for that... I never had
any ill conversations with you...I had three encounters here...
Once with billy when he said women were sleazy who had sex too
early... I know...its his opinion...I get it...I do not even think
of that anymore...over it.. It triggered me cause of what was done
to me as a child...I felt shamed all over again...but perhaps I
should of said nothing...hold my feelings in...well that is what
hurt me more in life...not having my feelings... I do not choose my
triggers...it just happens... Second with caraway...that was
cleared up...I apolized and I believe we all got it...understood
why and moved on....but some just couldn't let it go... Last...the
only other time I remember having an argyument was what just
happened... You know...maybe I handled my emotion wrong but how I
felt about it...was my feelings on the matter...I stand by that
cause I was hurt beyond belief but people see and understand why
here... But I am ata loss when it comes to you...
12:00 am

September 30, 2010

"You
sadden me ma...you call urself a minister and yet you judge so
harshly". I hear you. I guess that is why the SC does not allow
discussions about religion on the support side. I would be thrilled
if any reference to religion would be thrown of this site all
together. All it ever does is stir up hate and discontent. It
doesnt matter who a person is or who they think they are, we are
all anonymous here and our input is equally valuable and needed.
Hiding behind titles and using authority only interferes with these
peoples recovery.
I hope this place
is a place where people can come as they are.
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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

12:00 am
September 27, 2010

BAREFOOT GIRL!!!!! Do you realize what a huge step you took in
the above post? You are handling your problem with Destiny and you
are separating the hurt from Ma. I can see huge leaps in you today
from last few weeks. Instead of being hurt and running you are
being hurt and standing your ground! In a lot of ways you are way
out ahead of me on that one! I just tend to ignore the posts that
hurt my feelings, but I make my living in sales...I had to develop
a tough skin or die.
Bitsy
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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

Destiny....I am not following you...what did I do to you that
hurt you peresonally?
I get what bitsy
says now...when I am upset and in the moment...I see it as an
attack...
Bitsy...I know you
mean no harm...I read tour posts...when I am in the moment I have
little control...when time passes...
I start to
think...I am far far from healthy...but gosh I am going to
try...
((((Hugs))))) to
everyone
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September 30, 2010

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September 30, 2010

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September 27, 2010

12:00 am

September 30, 2010

Bitsy- For the sake of your own recovery please read this and
worry about yourself. "Controlling Behaviors: codependents try to
control events and people through helplessness, guilt, coercion,
threats, advice-giving, manipulation, or domination. They are
afraid to let people be who they are or let events happen
naturally. They've lived in so many situations in which they had no
control (abuse, alcoholism, etc) that they now try to control
everything and get frustrated and angry when they cannot. They end
up feeling controlled by events. They feel controlled by others.
They resist change as if change were a contagion."
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