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taking a break....to my friends:)
June 24, 2010
12:00 am
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andii
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I
will miss you my friend, and think of you often.

(((BFgirl)))

June 24, 2010
12:00 am
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chinadoll
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{{BF
Girl}}

Sorry to see you
go. I did not get a chance to answer some of the things you wrote
to me on other threads.

I wish only the
best for you, my friend. You know that. Hope to see you
again.

Take
care!

June 24, 2010
12:00 am
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Hepburn
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(((BFG)))

I think taking a
break from here is a good idea. I think you are in sensory
over-load!

You've made leaps
and bounds here. You should be proud of yourself. You've got a lot
of tools now to help make things better for yourself. Maybe take a
step back and give yourself a chance to process it all? Start using
those tools in the "real" world with real people. It's very
difficult to practice things here when one is bombarded with drama,
problems, drama and more problems. You're not allowing any room for
calm so that when a "situation" does happen you can practice using
your tools. You haven't allowed yourself any reflection. Does that
make sense?

I go in waves here
myself. I won't post as much and just read. Only difference is I
don't announce it. I find that when I'm really active here (like
lately) I usually get in some kind of "trouble". LOL It's all
good.

Love,

Hep

June 24, 2010
12:00 am
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robbie2007
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BFG
there is a msg for you on the other side on my thread. I wrote it
before I saw this.

I will miss you
and I hope you have a wonderful vacation wherever you
go.

Love,
Robbie

June 24, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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. "I
find that when I'm really active here (like lately) I usually get
in some kind of "trouble" Hepburn- I know exactly what you
mean.

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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sexychoclady
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BFG I
will miss u too. Really, i have been gone a little while,working
and just tired with the push and pull of life. I have read what
pissed u off. And i truly understand ur feelings. I feel people can
say what they mean, with out saying it mean..But i am learning i am
here for me.To talk about me.I am no expert. Just a sick person
trying to get better.And no one is always right.I have observed
when a certain person post ( notice there is a amen corner on this
site)..BFG just take what u need and leave the rest. ((((sending
hugs ur way))))))))))

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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andii
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I too
step back and just observe when a certain person posts and another
one as well. I think that's the trick- let them come through and
and light all their fires, but don't be a part of the fuel. Then
they smolder out. Hurting people hurt people, and they do this, but
we don't have to be part of the ones they hurt, we can step away.
BFgirl, this is an important survival strategy I think. Most of us
want people to accept us, to believe in us, and we want to connect,
but there are those who are not at this stage- they want to lash
out, to hurt, to feel powerful this way. I for one feel powerful
when I don't let them do that to me, by stepping back ans sometimes
standing up, and then letting go.

andii

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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andii
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and
if you're reading BFgirl, I miss you. Sometimes I log on just just
to see what you're up to, and I miss that.

andii

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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BFG-You said "others may or may not see it but you have REALLY
hurt me a few times around here...don't act like you have no idea
what you said...I seen yoy do this to others as well...say mean
things and then go elsewhere". I have seen this.

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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What
did I do ds? How did I hurt you? Please do not speak for
others...its their place to bring that to me...not yours... I would
like to know what I did to you...if I said something hurtful...then
yes please tell me, so I can say I am sorry for that... I never had
any ill conversations with you...I had three encounters here...
Once with billy when he said women were sleazy who had sex too
early... I know...its his opinion...I get it...I do not even think
of that anymore...over it.. It triggered me cause of what was done
to me as a child...I felt shamed all over again...but perhaps I
should of said nothing...hold my feelings in...well that is what
hurt me more in life...not having my feelings... I do not choose my
triggers...it just happens... Second with caraway...that was
cleared up...I apolized and I believe we all got it...understood
why and moved on....but some just couldn't let it go... Last...the
only other time I remember having an argyument was what just
happened... You know...maybe I handled my emotion wrong but how I
felt about it...was my feelings on the matter...I stand by that
cause I was hurt beyond belief but people see and understand why
here... But I am ata loss when it comes to you...

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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"You
sadden me ma...you call urself a minister and yet you judge so
harshly". I hear you. I guess that is why the SC does not allow
discussions about religion on the support side. I would be thrilled
if any reference to religion would be thrown of this site all
together. All it ever does is stir up hate and discontent. It
doesnt matter who a person is or who they think they are, we are
all anonymous here and our input is equally valuable and needed.
Hiding behind titles and using authority only interferes with these
peoples recovery.

I hope this place
is a place where people can come as they are.

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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That
is between me and mastrong...what happened between you and
I?

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Mastrong has done a lot to hurt me...an awful lot...I never
struck up a conver with her...yet she had a lot of judgement hurled
at me...I was defending myself...

I never started
it...but I will defend myself...now you said I hurt you...please
tell me how I hurt only you...I am at a loss here..

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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BAREFOOT GIRL!!!!! Do you realize what a huge step you took in
the above post? You are handling your problem with Destiny and you
are separating the hurt from Ma. I can see huge leaps in you today
from last few weeks. Instead of being hurt and running you are
being hurt and standing your ground! In a lot of ways you are way
out ahead of me on that one! I just tend to ignore the posts that
hurt my feelings, but I make my living in sales...I had to develop
a tough skin or die.

Bitsy

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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I
have only defended myself...I never sought out anyone and told them
what was wrong with them...

However you do
that a lot around here...I seen you do that to bitsy all the
time...

So what gives
here?

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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BFG-
Those are the words that you used.

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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(((Bitsy)))hey...thank youy for that...we must of both posted
at the same time...

I am not hurting
anymore...had time to calm down...I would like to clear the
air...

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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BFG-
I think that what you are triggered by is my post about you being a
survivor of abuse:)

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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Bitsy- Hi. I think you need to worry about your problem with me
not BFG.

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Confused destinystar...please elboreate on that,
thanks

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Destiny....I am not following you...what did I do to you that
hurt you peresonally?

I get what bitsy
says now...when I am upset and in the moment...I see it as an
attack...

Bitsy...I know you
mean no harm...I read tour posts...when I am in the moment I have
little control...when time passes...

I start to
think...I am far far from healthy...but gosh I am going to
try...

((((Hugs))))) to
everyone

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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BFG-
On the support side you said you were leaving this site for a
variety of reasons. All I did was quote what you had said. Then I
said I had seen what you were talking about.

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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BFG-
I NEVER said you said or did anything that has personally offended
me.

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Barefoot, I actually started the Hurt People thread about this
very thing then I read this post and here it is. I am still
searching the internet for the best post I have ever read on Hurt
People Hurt People. I can't find it.

Bitsy

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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Bitsy- For the sake of your own recovery please read this and
worry about yourself. "Controlling Behaviors: codependents try to
control events and people through helplessness, guilt, coercion,
threats, advice-giving, manipulation, or domination. They are
afraid to let people be who they are or let events happen
naturally. They've lived in so many situations in which they had no
control (abuse, alcoholism, etc) that they now try to control
everything and get frustrated and angry when they cannot. They end
up feeling controlled by events. They feel controlled by others.
They resist change as if change were a contagion."

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