Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Soul Mates and Twin Flames
August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
chinadoll
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 193
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am
posting this this side, because of the spiritual nature, but it
might be just as helpful on the other side, as I think it's very
significant and explains a lot. I'll make a note on support side
for others to come here if they want to read it.

I sent this to my
boyfriend, and it "spooked" him, as I believe he is my twin flame,
and once he read it, I think he believes it, too, for the most
part, even tho' he's not quite at the spiritual level that I am
at...reading it did not cause him to run for the hills!!
=)

It comes from an
article on the net, but I can't recall the web address.

*Soul Mates and
Twin Flames*

If you have met
your soul mate, there always will be issues. If you have met
someone and either of you are married at the time then they are NOT
your twin flame, they are NOT the love of your life.

The term, “Soul
Mate,” is very commonly misunderstood and mis-used. Sometimes a
soul mate is a very loving partner but in most cases, they should
come with huge warning labels on the forehead, read below for more
explanations, yes you want your twin flame, or at least someone
that you have NO past lives or unfinished karma with. Soul Mates
the term, ”Soul Mate,” is very commonly misunderstood and mis-used.
This is because the "900 number" commercials use the term soul mate
frequently and incorrectly, confusing it with the term "Twin
Flame". The "900 lines" would lead you to believe that you have
found your one true other half (Twin Flame) when, in reality, you
have found only ONE of your many SOUL MATES. Sometimes a soul mate
is a very loving partner but in most cases, they should come with
huge warning labels on the forehead: TURN AROUND, RUN NOW, MEGA
LIFE CHANGING DANGER APPROACHING! HEAD GAMES, LIAR, CHEATER,
ADDICT, CRAZY MAKER APPROACHING!

Soul mates come
into our lives to teach us lessons. These lesson givers quite often
come into our lives as alcoholics, abusers, gamblers, addicts,
cheaters, once a cheater always a cheater, have depression issues,
had a dysfunctional childhood, a drama queen or king, sex-addicts,
bosses, emotionally unavailable or your best friend's mate. I know
this sounds like half the population, but beware of the true nature
of the soul mate. There is always an issue to deal with from a past
life or unfinished soul mate business. Are you about to become
caught up in the constant chaos they can and will bring into your
life? Will your soul-mate become your addiction?

Before you step
into this mess that you may wish later you could just scrape off
your shoes, ask yourself, would you fix this person up with your
best friend or even a stranger?

If not, why would
you date them yourself? There is always a messy complication but
with a huge amount of electricity and chemistry/pull to keep you in
the game.

PAY ATTENTION TO
ALL RED FLAGS! THEY ARE VALID WARNINGS.

That's our own
intuition talking to us. Unfortunately with a soul mate, often
times we choose to ignore all the warning signs. Often we don’t
even like this person when we first meet them, but we allow this
lesson into our lives anyway. Yes, it makes us stronger and
hopefully we learn not to repeat the same relationship mistakes,
but the Universe will continue to bring us these soul mate lessons
until we learn. The truth is, a soul mate will always come into
your life with major KARMA for you to deal with. The good news is
you don’t have to play. You can choose to not engage in the lesson
(hopefully, because you've already learned it). If you choose to
stay and play, be sure to hang on (mostly to your sanity), because
this is when the roller coaster ride starts and all the games
begin!

Every relationship
is a mirror that helps us to learn more about ourselves. They are
the most challenging and the most rewarding aspects of life. The
more intimate the relationship the greater the opportunity for
growth we are given. If an issue or person has an emotional
“charge” to it, then you still have work to do. This mirror is the
hardest to look at because it reflects the issues you have not yet
finished in your life. These are the things that we are the most
blind to. Hence, beware of the soul mate. I know I sound repetitive
but someone has to tell you! Self-understanding is the entire
reason for these mirrors -- not to ‘fix’ the other person, but to
look at yourself and learn. The primary reason for most soul mate
relationships is so you can work on your spiritual self and your
karma! So with that said, the more you clear up issues for yourself
and the more YOU ARE the ‘right’ person; the sooner you will
attract the twin flame you are looking for.

Soul mates share a
common mission and comparable stage of spiritual development. They
come together because they are working on the same type of karma
and the same chakra simultaneously. Soul mates have an attraction
that is based on the sacred labour and on the path of self-mastery
on your personal spiritual path.

In a soul mate
relationship there is always a connection between you from prior
lives. Keep in mind that you can have as many as 3000 soul mates in
one life time. You have not been happily married to each of them
but in some cases you have killed each other or you may have been
each other's parents, siblings or battling next-door
neighbors.

Quite often in
readings, I see a similar pattern for many couples. For example,
when a couple is experiencing a horrible sex life, it is often
because they were siblings in a past life and therefore the
intimate relationship in their current life feels wrong. Another
common pattern is marrying someone who was our parent in a past
life, which provides an opportunity to work out whatever unresolved
lessons you might have from the past. In many cases issues are
reversed from lifetime to lifetime so that we might learn how the
other person felt.

Whenever you
consider breaking up with a soul mate, it seems A GIANT MAGNET
appears in the sky making you both run into each other in the
strangest of places. Soul mates can feel you come in the door when
you come home or know when you're in a crowded place. A soul mate
can project his/her thoughts onto you so it becomes unclear if you
are thinking of them or they are projecting their thoughts on you
so that you can’t tell if they are thinking of you, or you are
missing them. It takes a lot to break free from a soul mate, often
times you'll break up 6 to 20 times. A word of warning if you
choose to marry one of your soul mates: Do NOT COMPLAIN constantly
to your friends and family about your relationship. They won't
understand that you've chosen each other as a contract of lessons
and you'll only make the other people in your life despise your
spouse.

Twin Flames If you
have met your twin flame there will no drama - none. A twin flame
comes into your life with a truly clean slate, ready for you and no
drama at all. Twin flames are ourselves in another body. When we
have reached the stage where we are capable of giving unconditional
love, we then have the opportunity to reconnect with our “other
half” or twin flame. The chances are that we meet our twin flame
briefly in many lifetimes, but one or both of us are not ready for
the intensity of this connection. When both halves of the whole are
ready to come back together and meet they will discover that in
their lifetime they have lead almost parallel lives. The events of
their lives will mirror each other almost exactly. They may have
come from very similar families and family dynamics. They may have
had similar schooling or lack thereof. They may have crossed paths
socially or lived close by to each other and never known it. They
may have almost identical careers. They may even have previous
marriages and divorces within weeks of each other. When twin flames
get to know each other, they will feel as if the other is reading
their life script. That isn't to say they are identical people, but
they are perfectly complimentary to each other.

When twin flames
meet for the first time in a physical life, they recognize
themselves in the other person. This will come as a deep surprise
to both, but the recognition is immediate. At the same time you
will feel that you have always known this person who is sitting in
front of you. It is a feeling of home-coming, because you recognize
your other self and feel very much that you have come home when you
are with your spiritual twin flame counterpart. Be aware that soul
mates also have a strong recognition pattern, only there will be
that little voice in your head that knows the
difference.

When twin flames
come together they become one, they are not like each other but
they are the mirror image of the other. They think alike, they hold
the same values and often their life experiences are very similar.
Twin flames do not teach each other, they learn together and help
each other learn the lessons that have been set before them in this
lifetime. When twin flames come together they join forces and are
capable of overcoming obstacles the average mortal could not begin
to face. They are so filled with unconditional love they literally
glow with it and have much to share with others. They are the
inspiration that poets write about and singers sing
about.

Once in awhile,
twin flames have come together and not make it work, this is only
because you have chosen different life lessons this time around and
you do not fit as lovers, but you will always be best
friends.

There can be a
happy medium in love No one is perfect and not one person can make
us totally happy, we need to make ourselves happy first. Love needs
to be a bonus, a plus not a negative. The first year of any
relationship you are building the foundation. See your buddies and
keep your hobbies this will build a healthy long lasting love life
together. Eventually the beginning of love wears off and we all
miss our buddies and time alone. Never stop seeing them.

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
andii
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 124
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Chinadoll, this is fascinating....

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
CraigCo
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 39
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hmm...pretty interesting stuff.

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

China! I so wish I could talk to you offline, but that is not
possible.

This has the
potential to explain so much to me. I have always said I married my
husband because he was the big brother I always wanted. We are
still frieds and I know at the end of the day if I had no one else
to lean on he would be there. I have always explained it that we
had Cat together, but the truth is I am as close to his sister and
mother as I was when we were married.

R was everything
you explained in the volatile soul mate description.

Bitsy

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I
have met three soul mates....which is funny, cuz one of them I
always called my soul mate...and I was dead on without even
realizing it.

I think I DID
learn from all of it.

Maybe my next one
will be my twin flame!! I am tired of my soul mates!

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Okk,
so this article is saying stuff like:

>> In a soul
mate relationship there is always a connection between you from
prior lives. Keep in mind that you can have as many as 3000 soul
mates in one life time. You have not been happily married to each
of them but in some cases you have killed each other or you may
have been each other's parents, siblings or battling next-door
neighbors.

>> Quite
often in readings, I see a similar pattern for many couples. For
example, when a couple is experiencing a horrible sex life, it is
often because they were siblings in a past life

So the author
believes in past lives, which of course I don't. There's no
scientific evidence for it. Its as true and provable as Islam or
Christianity or the flying spaghetti monster is. All of these also
have tonnes of followers who attest to the truthfulness of their
beliefs because of their 'successful' personal experiences ("it
happened to me so I know its true").

Coming back to the
topic, here's my opinion on the subject of soul mates:

- A soul mate is
THE perfect person who is THE best match for you. Here are the
possibilities:

1. Your soul mate
was born on the other side of the globe and you never met them.
This means that assuming you and them are living in the same time,
at the right age (if he's 20 and she's 80, that wont work), you
have to meet every single person on Earth to meet your true soul
mate.

2. They were
mistakenly married to someone else.

3. They lived
before you were on Earth.

4. You were
already dead when they arrived.

The concept of
soul mates is therefore impractical and impossible and highly
unlikely. What happens in reality is people just believe that they
found their soul mate because its a romantic cultural concept.
Really? Are you sure? Have you met ALL the men and women in the
world?

If you say you're
looking for THE perfect light bulb, you have to test ALL the light
bulbs in existence otherwise chances are, there exists a better
light bulb than the one you found next door. You just haven't found
it yet. Or maybe it was destroyed 10 years ago in a landfill, or
maybe it has yet to be made in a factory. Thats just an example.
Humans have an infinite number of variables and are more complex
than bulbs.

So this soul mate
concept isnt valid. What you have to do is, assume imperfection
from the start and accept the person for what they are. Thats how
it works and thats when it 'feels' like meeting a soul mate. If its
a good deal for you, go for it. This also means you could
theoretically have been about the same happy with another person,
had fate turned out that way.

Quoting another
line:

>> That
isn't to say they are identical people, but they are perfectly
complimentary to each other.

Once again, you
cant find the person that is PERFECTLY complimentary to you unless
you have met ALL the potential mates in the World. Again, maybe
they've already died or maybe they've yet to be born.

There's so many
variables that are needed to make a relationship work and they're
found in many mates, not just one.

I really cant take
an article seriously if its talking about past lives. The author of
the article is "Tonya Somers", a Clairvoyant Psychic as she says on
her website (I found that by googling a few words from the
article).

Here's the
challenge for ME in my relationship adventures: being myself,
knowing what I want, being communicative, being aware of myself and
my surroundings and so on. Thats being a "twin flame". I'm working
on these.

Wait a minute!
What about people who are swingers and want 3 somes and hedonistic?
Mega-flame? Triple Flame? Strawberry Orange flame hmmm. Octo-Flame,
in case of that Octo mom, there ya go.

yea its
friday!

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
chinadoll
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 193
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

GG,

I am not saying
anyone has to believe the same things that I do, as I respect
everyone's point of view.

I offer
information to anyone that may find it useful, to take what they
want and leave the rest.

I certainly don't
believe all of it literally word-for-word, but there are some
aspects of the article I do believe.

I am not here to
convince anyone of anything, nor am I here to ever push my opinion
on anyone. I am never one to tell someone what they should or
should not do.

I wish you a
peaceful day.

Be
blessed!

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
_anonymous
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 8
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

"A
twin flame comes into your life with a truly clean slate". The only
being a can think of that has a clean slate would be a new
born.

The people who
have the most in common and who have the best chances of a long
happy union are those who grew up together. Met when they were
young.

I just do not see
how anyone who is well into middle age for example is going to have
a clean slate. Unless they have been living in a vacuum.

We are usually
attracted to people who remind us of someone familiar. We often
play out our unresolved conflicts through them. Through pain we
become aware of the fact that those type of dynamics are not
producing a positive result. The number of teachers who appear is
only an indication of the amount of lessons we need to
learn.

Once we become
healthy, fixed and whole will we attract the same.

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
chinadoll
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 193
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Destiny,

I think this is
what it means, at least my interpretation, that your slate is clean
after you have resolved everything and are whole again.

Otherwise you
bring past "baggage" into the next relationship, which is not
always fair to the new person.

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Great
article chinadoll - thanks for sharing it. :o)

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
crystalwaters
NYC, USA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 26
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I
LOVE this! When I look at my past relationships and my current one,
it makes TOTAL sense. The one thing I'd say though is that,
although my current relationship fits the "twin flame"
classification, it has not been entirely drama-free...largely as a
result of my having a lot of shit built up from past relationships
and family history. It took me awhile to trust -- not in HIM,
because there was that instant recognition thing the second we met
(although it took a year and a half after that first meeting before
we started to date), but it took me awhile to trust that I could in
fact have a real, true loving relationship.

Love, love LOVE
this. I don't know much about the past life stuff...but definitelt
going to research the twin flames concept and related writings some
more!

Thanks for sharing
Chinadoll!!!

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

:o)
Yea it was a good article :o). You got a big nose there, Shaney!
Wazup with that? : ==0 ), thats more accurate, now its long too.
Just kidding, playin with ya.

thanks Chinadoll,
just expressing my opinion.

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

:>) - Here's you (gg) with a bird beak.

You're such a
brat. lol

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
crystalwaters
NYC, USA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 26
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I
haven't read this whole page yet, but there looks to be a LOT of
food for thought: http://ladydyanna.net/

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Chinadoll -

Do you think that
a soulmate can become your twin flame over time?

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
chinadoll
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 193
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Shaney,

I am not
sure...this was a new discovery for me. I was one that
misunderstood "soul mate", until I learned about "twin flame", I
did not know this term before--"twin flame".

The reason I
believe my boyfriend is my "twin flame", is because ever since we
first became friends and then started dating, we both felt very
comfortable from the very start, as tho' we had always known each
other, and our lives are completely parallel. He and I have
identical jobs, both in our civilian life and the military. We
think alike in many ways, but not all, and we have the same values,
similar personality, but we are also different in some ways. He is
much more disciplined that I. He stays completely focused, as where
I am sometimes quite distracted and can get a little
ADHD.

My spiritual
connection is on a much different path than his. We both identify
as Christians, except that my spiritual abilities bring my
identitiy to another level that he is not fully aware of
yet.

I think from the
very beginning, the amount of our similarities shocked us, but
after sharing this info with him about "twin flame", he said it was
the first time he actually got scared...I think from the intensity
of the connection.

For one thing, I
am on the West Coast, and he is on the East Coast, and we have been
able to maintain this relationship with absolutely no drama, no
arguments and never once any hurt feelings. We stay in touch with
each other nearly every day, not out of neediness, but from wanting
to stay connected. We give each other a ton of space. He's doing
his thing, I am doing mine, and we are both happy with how things
are going.

I fly out there to
see him when I can, since my schedule is a little more flexible
than his..I am actually going out there in about 10
days.

We've not yet said
"I love you" to each other. Not that we don't love each other, but
it's as tho' our actions speak it enough right now.

So, as to your
question, I can't really say until I study more about this. I had
read a few resources on this, but this one just happened to be the
one I posted, so it's not like I pulled it out of a hat and threw
it on here.

I see this as a
seed planted, to bring all of us to our own understanding and
search for answers that suit us.

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Like
crystalwaters, my husband and I fit into the twin flame category,
but not without having gone through some soul-mate-type drama in
the beginning. We, too, had that coming-home feeling as though
we've known each other our whole lives. In addition, it was amazing
to learn that our paths had crossed several times over the years
without ever even knowing one another. Once we ironed out some
personal issues in the beginning, we have come to a place that is
very easy and drama free. We've been together for 10 years now.
Sure, things aren't perfect all of the time, but as close as I
could expect.

Thanks for your
thoughts - this is an extremely interesting topic. :o)

August 13, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Hi
China, once you start living with him or marry him, those two
flames are gonna be redirected at each other, oh yea.

I mean, its
different when you live with each other, marry each other and so
on. Thats when the trouble starts, thats why the divorce rate is
40%. Not to be a downer but, I wonder so much about what makes a
relationship suceed or fail. All those people who marry think they
found their soul mate. And then 40% of them end up in divorce. Its
something to think about.

I cant even think
about divorce or a relationship. I have enough trouble geting
beyond the "hey, wanna go for dinner?" phase.

August 14, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
chinadoll
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 193
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi
GG,

I understand what
you are saying. I've been married & divorced once already. That
relationship was an absolute nightmare. I don't want to get into a
bunch of details about it. Let's just say, if the relationship did
not end when it did, I would not be here to type this. Seriously.
He was intent on killing me.

I went for a long
time not in a relationship. To think I would be in one now is quite
amazing to me at times.

The difference I
see with this one is that I have no expectations. Would I like to
be with him forever, yes. For the rest of my life, definitely so.
But if at any time he or I decide that we don't want to be in it,
we will go our separate ways and we would have to allow ourselves
to do that. In other words, he knows very clearly that I do not
need him. If he were not in my life, I would be just fine. I would
miss him immensely, but I will be fine.

I will never put
any man above God. I never did, not even in my previous marriage,
so I doubt I would begin to do that now. My connection to God is
stronger than any connection I will have with any man.

I am not ever
going to ask him to promise me anything, not marriage, not a
future. All I can do at this point in time is enjoy what we have in
the present moment. If that leads to more moments, and more
moments, that will constitute a future. If the moments add up to
20-30 years of marriage or whatever, then so be it. If they add up
to only a few more months or years, that is okay, too.

What I have with
him is happening right now, and that is all I have in front of me.
That is what I am grateful for.

What I see him as,
is a precious gift, that God had brought into my life. I feel truly
blessed to know him as a friend and as a lover. I do not lose sight
of that. When you have a valuable gift, you cherish it and treat it
with care and respect. I am blessed that he treats me with the same
respect and care. Of course, if he did not, then that would be the
end, plain and simple.

We talk things
thru. People don't believe that we do not argue--ever--but it's
true. We talk, and we listen. He listens to everything I tell him
that is on my heart, and after much thought, he responds, and it is
usually something encouraging. I listen to him, as well, and
respond to him in a positive way. If I need to vent about
something, I tell him I am venting, and this way he just listens,
and does not feel like he has to solve my problem. He will vent to
me sometimes, and then I ask him if he is feeling better, and he
says yes, and then we talk about something else.

We don't bring up
"old stuff" cuz we work things out as it comes up. Once it's done,
we don't bring it up again. It's been squashed. We move on to
whatever is next.

I accept him for
the man that he is, as imperfect as we all are, and he accepts me
for who I am. I told him when we first met, what you see is what
you get. He and I allow the other to do exactly as we each want to
do. No pressure, no worries. I leave him to do whatever he needs to
do for himself, I take a huge step back. The more space I give him,
the more he comes back to me, the more attention I get from him. He
gives me my space as well, and he knows that when all the work is
done, and we do connect, he has my full attention.

I'm not an expert
when it comes to relationships, by any means. But this approach
seems to work for us. Joy is in abundance. I don't know how long
this will last, but for now, it is probably as close to pure
happiness that anyone can ask for.

August 15, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
Lanigirl
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 161
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

China,

What I got from
this article is that people come into your life to teach you
something about yourself. My thinking is that this occurs in all
relationships.

It's so nice to
hear you speak so highly of your boyfriend. I'm thinking that he
mirrors the peace you have in your life right now.

Since I am still
working through a lot of the damage from my life, I haven't
experienced a twin flame feeling so perhaps that is why I'm
skeptical.

Guest,

Funny, I have a
hard time meeting people that I even want to form friendships
with.

August 15, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
Hepburn
Los Angeles, California
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((Everyone)))

This theory was
what I had read also. Soul Mate is generally not used correctly,
but since it sounds good and people can relate to the "soul" and
"mate" part, it's used that way. Unfortunately more for
commercialism then the real deal.

As much as it
feels like our soul mates are more for teaching lessons, there are
many I've come across that were more on the positive, fun side.
I've thought about the impact I've had on people too. What have I
shown them?

I think it's
possible to have more then one twin flame. And I think a soul mate
can become a twin flame. There really aren't any "rules" when it
comes to things like this. Rules are made by people who want to
keep out what they "don't want". Therefore, putting attention on
what they don't want and getting that, instead of what they "do
want". Ahhh, but that's another thread!

August 16, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

hi
Chinadoll, wow so he wanted to kill you. I dont understand how
things go from all lovey dovey to hatred in relationships.
Interesting stuff.

Great to know
you're in a good spot. I used to believe in God but not anymore.
Anyway its cool. Well, looks like you got it all figured out. I'm
impressed! The communication and listening and giving each other
space, thats great. It all looks just right.

August 16, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Hi
Lanigirl

So I was emailing
this girl and we were having a lot of fun. She had seen me once
before. I thought she hadnt seen the real me. So we met again and
this time for a lot longer. She is SO pretty, so cute. And because
of that I'm nervous now. I'm hesitating and hesitating.

I try to connect
my present behaviors to my childhood to find the reason why I do
things like this. So for this situation, it is: whenever I used to
initiate contact with my mother, I always got a negative reaction:
"do more work, you're not good enough, why did you bother me" and
so on. So I grew up to dislike initiating contact with the opposite
sex. Oh yea. Its a battle. I make excuses like "gotta fix my
sinuses and sleep and then I'll talk to her".

The fact is I talk
to this friend in another city and I'm perfectly fine because she's
not a prospect and we're only friends. We have a lot of fun (she
has a sense of humor too so it works out great).

But the moment I
come across a real potential "prospect", I FREEZE. ARghhhh. "What
will I say, how can I impress her, can I really say whats on my
mind?"

Dont bother to
respond back with any help. Usually I rant and start talking about
my own problems no matter what the discussion is about.

Anyway. I know
I'll feel a lot better when I fix my sinuses. My energy levels are
real low because I cant sleep due to my congested sinuses. Atleast
I'm on the right course. Planning to get surgery in a few
months.

If you wanna meet
people, you could try the meetup.com website. Thats how I met some
people here. But I know what you mean. I dont socialize much
myself. I'm just gonna blame it all on my lack of sleep.

August 16, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
andii
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 124
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It's
a fine line between love and hate guest. The opposite of love is
indifference.

Chinadoll,

I'm in a
relationship like yours right now. It's different from the others
and I don't know for certain why- nothing inside me DESIRES to
fight with him. It's not that I "back down" or anything. Oh, it's
just so different and it's hard to explain. There is no desire for
either one of us to fight/argue with or hurt the other, just
accept, be with, and love. Was this way from day one. Very
different.

andii

August 17, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
chinadoll
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 193
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi
GG,

No, my ex-h didn't
just *want* to kill me, but he *tried* to kill me. Literally. The
worst part about it was that the police didn't believe me. He lied
and had them convinced that I was just crazy, when I was actually
screaming cuz I was scared to death. So they left me with him to
try it again.

I don't know if I
have it "all figured out" with my boyfriend and me, but so far
things seem to be going well.

andii, I know what
you mean, I have absolutely no desire to argue or fight with my
boyfriend. It would be hard to argue when he keeps me laughing so
much. He is constantly teasing me, but not in a mean or cruel way.
I tease him right back. Once in a while, I get a good one in, and
it leaves him speechless! That is not often, as his wit is way
quicker than mine.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
48
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110906
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38534
Posts: 714189
Newest Members:
odin83, sendlv, ViolentFighterBrownCaveman, kbrfDazy, traceyob69, JohnMeave
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer