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Some observations about this Lib side.......
August 15, 2008
7:08 pm
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truthBtold
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September 27, 2010
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g_g,

Thanks for pillow fight invite.

You certaintly know how to de-esculate a situation - don't you 😉

I just stared at your words: "You're OK as you are."

WHOA!

Wasn't expecting THAT!!!!!!!!

What's that ole 1970's self help book....."I'm OK - You're OK."

hmmmmm.

(thank you.)

Still - there is so much here that I have yet to fully digest.

Don't know where to start - exactly.

To even ATTEMPT to address your very valid issue of: "We can talk about loving ourselves and the "inner child" blah, blah-ing...but what's the practical thing that would help a person get over all that?"

I am with you in that I am so bored with the "7 steps for independent freedom" books yada-yada-yada - that I am thinking that I am not quite prepared to address that head first.

Rather, I guess, my approach has been to kind of chisel out something from the 'outskirts' of that with the hope that it will eventually lead to that mother-load of that question.

I dunno.

For me, I have to start with the sometimes incapacitating grip of (unknown?) fear and anxiety that sometimes hits me right up side the head and always DEMANDS my attention!!!!!

And I wonder - what's up with this?????

The intensity certaintly does not seem to let up over the years (decades.)

Why is this so??????

FEELINGS - that dreadful 'other' "F" word doesn't seem to want to give me a break sometimes......

So - what's the message?

I honestly don't feel that I am quite able to address it directly - but indirectly - maybe I have a clue.

I start with this whole idea of "worry."

Worry - or maybe even "great concern" is practical when the situation call for it.

Gee, I don't think that I have enough money for rent or food.

Very REAL cause for concern and worry.

However - UNNECESSARY worry is something that I am working damned hard on deciphering the difference thereof!

Seems to me that I have always been caught up in a web (tumbleweed kind of feeling) of feeling scared, anxious etc and that EVERYTHING was a priority - and I lack the skills to decipher just WHAT IS a valid worry/concern as opposed to just some leftover bullcrap from the past.

(Gosh - I hope to heck I am making some kind of sense here.....)

Case in point: My birthday was 7-20.

Of course - I wait until the last minute around 7-18 or 19 that I finally took my car in to see if it would pass emmisions testing...and I fail.

I FAIL!!!!!!!

I FAIL!!!!!!!!

I take it personally!!!!!

Can you believe that?????

Like it says something about 'my failure' as a human being or something - you know?

So the guy tells me that I have to get some kind of new oxygen sensor and stuff - and I decide that the only thing I can afford right now is to get the ole PCV replaced, (cost - about 2 bucks) fill it up with a tank and a half of (gulp) premium gas, keep my fingers crossed and 'hope for the best.'

Well - don't you know that I go to get the thing tested again today - and I pass.

I PASS!!!!!!!

Moral of this long, convulated story is that I fretted over the fact of "What If?"

"What if" I failed again and had to go to a mechanic and actually get a new sensor, timing checked etc.....

Where would I get the extra money to do that?

But of course, that is no longer the case as I prouldly brought my passing emmsision certificate to the tag office, waited in line and now I have my new little sticker.

So - this all makes me think?

WHAT ELSE in my life have I fretted about "What If" only to find that that was just wasted energy?

You know?

The point I am trying to make.....(and I DO have one) is what else in my life have I spent unnecessary time and energy over?

Like in the football season which is fast approaching....what other events/circumstances in my life have I been using "unnecessary roughtness" upon myself?

I was not fortunate enough to have care-takers say to me as a child when something I fretted upon never came to pass - to come up to me in a supporting manner and say - "see there - all that worry for nothing." To which I guess a child would react and feel - yeah, gessh - I worried myself over nothing for that........

Anyway - that's my current round-about - coming 'cross from the side-outskirt kind of way - to maybe and hopefully address even deeper issues which some here have already opened up for discussion - but to which I am not emotionally prepared to address directly RIGHT NOW.

But I am doing what I can.

Like another poster said - all of us are on different plauteaus insomuch as our own growth is concerned.....

I think - in the end - to go back and adress your question as to the practicality of just HOW to progess forward - is to maybe take current circumstances and re-frame them in such a way - to steo back and say - see there....THAT was progress.

Maybe one thing will eventually lead to another.......

ps - BTW - I really think and feel that "You're OK as you are too!!!!!"

🙂

tBt

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