
8:01 pm

September 24, 2010

I dont know where to begin, this is the first time I'm writting down what I feel..There is so much pain so much anger inside me. My flash backs my dreams are getting more constant. I feel i want to SCREAM...I need to release my anger.. I dont know how. I am 34 years old and I cant seem to let go of my child hood past. I did or at least I thought I did. But I feel that there is no more room to store all this hurt and bad memories of my own father sexually abusing me... I have never spoken about it until not to long ago, I told my mother, my sister and my husband they are very supportive but it only made it worst for me because of the questions and it just makes me re live it and it hurts so much..His family and friends thinks he is this great guy.. but they dont know. They dont know what sick person he is. I was nine years old.. he continued molesting me until I was 14...I want to scream it to the world and make him feel at least ashame of what he did.. I had acually bloked everything from mind but I cant do it anymore, I feel so depressed, so hurt.I feel like I am drowning and I cant breath.
9:29 am

September 30, 2010

Esme - please cut and paste your post over to the other side (support threads). You'll get the support you need over there.
FWIW - I tend to live in the past myself. And you can't move forward while you are stuck there - that I have learned. Problem is "unsticking" yourself. I live in the guilt and I'm working on finding a way to relieve myself of the guilt and to not keep looking back.
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