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So I hate to admit it...
November 21, 2008
4:20 pm
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But I am watching Oprah. It is very enlightening. All about sex. Although I cant say I agree with some of the things said.

November 21, 2008
4:24 pm
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I have to disagree with the oral sex.

November 21, 2008
4:40 pm
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What do yall think about foreplay being something as simple as taking out the trash or cooking.

I really need more things to do if I am watching Oprah.

November 21, 2008
10:52 pm
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soofoo
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Well, when I had 4 kids under 6 years old, I used to say that the sexiest thing a man could do was to wash the dishes. Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mm!

But if your woman is not an overworked housewife you may be better off with the kissing and candlelight approach.

November 22, 2008
8:48 pm
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hi soofoo

I find this popular craze about candle lights funny. Funny. Its the new era now. Now its, dinner with energy saving bulbs. How's that?

Burn 26 watts, equivalent to 100 watts and find love, all at the same time. Energy saving love.

Why have 1 billion candle light power when you can have.... 1 million? (austin powers)

Well yea. I did buy energy savers.

Really though, suppose you're an alien and you're given different types of lights and have no idea that candles are romantic. I dont know if the alien would choose candles if asked to choose the most romantic light. For all we know he might choose lasers! Lasers.. mm.. sexy!

November 25, 2008
7:20 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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doing dishes is the best foreplay. I can't relax with a dirty sink. so if the dishes are done and the sink is clean wow. I am ready for anything.

November 26, 2008
10:19 am
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There is just one thing I dont get.

November 26, 2008
7:28 pm
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thewall
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ok, I'll play along. I'm bored...

and what would that be billy99?

November 27, 2008
12:10 am
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I just think that if a woman gives you oral it is demeaning to her. But just my opinion.

December 1, 2008
1:02 am
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soofoo
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Wow, I missed all these great posts.

Guest,

Hi! It's awesome to hear from you. You made me laugh so hard from your post. I guess it's all relative. But I do have a theory about candles.

Candles cause your eyes to relax, and soften. They make you feel very safe. Candlelight hides your flaws. It makes you look sexier. If you were already looking sexy, you're looking even better. If you've broken out, your pimples are unapparent. This helps you relax.

My thoughts on oral sex:

Billy, maybe you're watching bad porn. Sex can always be used to hurt someone. But it doesn't have to. Oral sex is fun to give and even more fun to get. It's like kissing. It's really enjoyable. Sex acts are degrading when you don't cherish the person you are with.

Degradation happens in the mind and heart, not in the mouth!

December 1, 2008
2:26 am
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sdesigns
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Cooking together is great foreplay.

Eating a meal together by candlelight, even more foreplay.

If the man does the dishes afterwards, almost as good as an O.

sd

December 1, 2008
10:13 am
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Thanks soofoo

I guess that is true. It was a new perspective on it from you. Not to sound like a loser but I guess how friends have said things about it well I just blew it off and said no. It just seemed dirty based on them and their stories.

for me it was kind of no that s ok. I didnt want to see a woman in a degrading position. Not the kind of person I am.

Good to know SD

December 1, 2008
3:15 pm
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hi soofoo, yea, thats right, candles are gentle and quite and small.

Imagine a world where dates shine high powered police flashlights at each other while sitting across the table. "Blind[ed] date" would be the right term there.

Well... I'm trying to do something here and trying to get involved with a friend. I hope it works out. Aaaa! I'm so afraid I'll just not do anything and she'll fade away. :((. I hope not! I'm feeling the urgency to do something.

December 2, 2008
12:41 am
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soofoo
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Guest,
Is this the friend with the parents Thanksgiving dinner? Getting invited to Thanksgiving Dinner at her parents house is a really good sign!

How did Thanksgiving go? Have you asked her out?

December 3, 2008
2:38 am
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free2choose
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Soofoo said:

"Degradation happens in the mind and heart, not in the mouth!"

LOL!!! Funny, but true!

Billy, oral sex can be an amazing, beautiful, bonding experience, IF, and thats a big IF... IF BOTH partners are honestly willing and wanting it to occur.

Oral sex CAN be degrading for a woman, if she is viewed as a tool for the man's sexual gratification, or if she is not really willing or wanting to do it.

But it can also be a great way for her to truly pleasure a partner who sees her as EQUAL and with respect.

Like any sex act, if oral is done with love and/or mutual respect, then it will not be a degrading experience. But without respect, it's just another dehumanizing experience.

Just my opinion.

December 3, 2008
6:06 am
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Thank you Free2choose.

It helps having a womans opinion. It just really seemed like it would be degrading. I avoided receiving at all costs because of what I witnessed. I mean from hearing guy friends talk about it to the girls. I guess during those days it was more done to do it.

So thank you again it does put a lot of perspective on the situation.

Have you been around recently? I remember seeing you here when I first was on the site.

December 5, 2008
3:46 am
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free2choose
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Billy,

Not to man bash, but from what I know about some men, the locker room conversations can get crude. And from what I know about how men learn about sex.. ie: other men in locker room conversations and watching porn, ORAL can seem degrading. And for you, as a guy, to recognize that, it says alot about how YOU view women. For you to even think about what it would be like for a woman, much less to sacrifice your own personal pleasure at the thought of having a girl you are with feel degraded, says alot about your character.

If you continue to have genuine concern for your partners, then that means you RESPECT them. That is what I'm saying. If you respect them, and if you treat them as equals, and if you CARE about thier feelings, then they will not feel degraded, they will feel loved. And they will be secure in the knowledge that you care for them, and would never force them or expect them to do something they are uncomfortable with, so when they DO give you oral it will be because they WANT to, not because they feel OBLIGATED to. So lay back and enjoy!! Then return the favor!! LOL!
~~~~~~

I've been around off and on for a few years. Take long breaks. Itcan getnuts here sometimes, and I have a BUSY life, don't always have time for legnthy posts and conversations.

Saw on the other thread you're thinking of leaving the site. I gotta take long breaks too sometimes. It's time to leave when you feel this site does more damage than good to you. If that's where you are, don't apologize for it. This is an anonymous online forum, NOT the real world. There is life outsideof AAC, although for some here it doesn't seem like it. You're not here for anyone but YOU. Be true to YOU!! You're not here for anyone else.

December 5, 2008
5:42 pm
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Yea the locker room was a bit out of control. There were many lies and stories told there. Kind of ridiculous. I learned to tone it out. I think sleeping around is stupid. I dont know about most people, but I like being clean. I guess I am not one to sleep around.

Women are equals as far as I am concerned. Maybe not so much physically, but they deserve to be treated like people. Not saying a woman couldnt kick my ass. Of course they would since I wont hit a woman, but still in a race even.

See I dont mind giving. I just drew the line at getting. But hey no sex for me anyways right now. Trying to do this relationship right.

About the breaks. I think it may be good. I may check in still. But what the SC said made sense. Here to make me better. I have learned so much about myself by being here. I still have my issues with commitment and being a better person. But it is nice to learn some. This helped a lot during my time where I wasnt working because of my accident.

You are right there is so much more. I mean life is short why not enjoy those who are with you. But dont get me wrong it is nice to have an outlet to let things out.

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