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1:09 am
September 29, 2010
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Its not finished yet I still need a begining I am just stuck but I would like to know what you all think about it. It is christian and I would apreciate any controversy about it to be made into a diffrent thread.
Jesus Sacrificed
To save us all wretched beasts from the hell that we deserve
Jesus was nailed to the cross for all people to observe.
As the blood dripped down from his nail pierced hands
The people laughed and criticized the king of these lands
His horrified mother just couldn’t believe
She just sat there and watched then started to grieve
I can only imagine what was going though her mind
As Jesus spoke his final words, then saved mankind
Jesus died there upon that wooden cross
Not for his sin but for the world that had been lost.
For Jesus had no sin He was a perfect Man
But he was sent to cover our sin that was Gods plan.
Jesus Sacrificed
Jesus paid the price
Jesus died for you,
And he died for me too
Would you do the same?
Would you take the blame?
Like Jesus did?
1:27 am
September 27, 2010
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RW: Makes ya sit and think doesn't it. I think it is true to what the Bible says. Put to words well. You said you don't have a beginning. I know the first line Jesus Sacrificed is the title, but doesn't it also make a great beginning and then just flow into the rest of the poem? Just a thought. I'm not a writer. I do like your work and think this poem to be true to the form of what is stated in the Bible. Good work honey.
1:31 am
September 29, 2010
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Thank you mama. I am trying to get back into poetry. I want to make my own book and publish it. and the only way to do that is to write more
1:44 am
September 24, 2010
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Ummm. Are you ok RW?
It's kind of bloody and preachy. And harsh.
I don't think that Jesus thought of anyone as a wretched beast.
"Stand beside me
Stand before me
And behind me
So I can follow in love"
1:49 am
September 29, 2010
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It seems no matter how hard I try I cant make a poem that is not Bloody or harsh. The poem that has been published of mine so many times is called "Death on my hands" and the other one is about my childhood and well you can imagine what that one is like. I just dont know if I have it in me to make a nice poem
1:54 am
September 27, 2010
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Nice song WD. I like the lyrics.
Folks have different writings. Whether it be lyrics of a song, a poem, a profound insight. Some laced w/ honey, some sugar coated, some to the point, some gory, some gothic, etc. They all have their meaning and they all have their own type following. The folks in the Bible even give their own views of Jesus and his sufferings. Yes Jesus is love, yes Jesus suffered as RW wrote. I think both view are needed to understand the true Jesus the Bible speaks of. Just my thoughts and ramblings. 🙂
1:56 am
September 27, 2010
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RW:
Must have been posting at the same time.
Yes, RW, you do make nice poems. A bit on the darker side, but isn't that where you come from? I had a friend tell me the other day that I always point out songs as my favs that are about abuse and most the time overcoming it and sometimes not. To sit and ponder what she said, she is right. But then isn't that where I come from. I think your view just as it is does reach folks that others cannot reach. I think you should be proud of your work and keep on keepin on.
1:58 am
September 27, 2010
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RW: We'll talk more tomorrow. I'm supposed to be in bed w/ this oximetry test goin and hubby will raise the roof if I'm not there. Talk later ok hon. Hang in there.
Nice to see you WD. Have wondered how you are doing. Hopefully well.
Goodnight
2:01 am
September 29, 2010
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Goodnight Mama. Sleep well.
2:07 pm
September 27, 2010
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RW
That poem is awesome it says it all in a few sentences.
To save us all wretched beasts from the hell that we deserve
that bit in mho is so true, you only have to look around and see whats going on.
God is not into sugar coating what he wants us to know, and you havnt as well,
like mama said the begining is fine, its perfect.
i really like your poem a lot.
thankyou for sharing it with us all.
white dove.
ps i think your one amazing person.
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