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Reality Beyond The Fog
June 19, 2005
4:02 am
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sewunique
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CM,

This thread may die a quick death, but I thought it did not fit in the movie thread. You mentioned caution about seeing the mvie Phantom.

Now I am questioning and even afraid to see the movie Phantom. Why did I love it so much before? Was it because I was in love with my own Phantom, and relating to the character, with same name and same M.O.? Shivers.

I do remember feeling scared when he rips off his mask and evoked anger towards... who? Not to her? To his situation? How can I not see this then or remember the true plot and missed it? I am not dumb. This is impossible.

But all this (not seeing reality) was when I was within my clouded fog. Have you ever driven in dense fog at nite so deep that all the headlights show is the white broken center line of the road to guide you and nothing else around you can be seen? Not even the shoulders of the road? Once, I drove thru this type of fog. Then I stopped the car because I no longer could see the center line any more. I got out of the car, standing on the left side shoulder of the road. I had crossed the center-line and never knew it. I only sensed that I was not where I should be.

Have I lost the meaning of this movie that I loved so dearly in my blindness of reality and love for a person that I gave my whole world to? A man whom I could not tell the world that I still loved, but feared him; that leaving and divorcing was the only solution for my safety? For had I said I still loved him, the world and those immediately around me would then question why should I divorce if I still loved him, then of course, try again and things will work out?

I HAVE to see this movie. I have Andrew Lloyd Webber's sound track of the Phantom. Perhaps if I play it now it may refresh my memory to visulaize the acting parts? If it does not seem to be too daunting, then maybe I can see the movie. If it is too chilling, then perhaps I will wait to see the movie after 7/1 when the insurance kicks in and I can then find a counselor.

I now have a headache, not a stress one; strickly frontal lobe headache from thinking; that my denial has been into high gear here?

Do you realize how much you have said in your brevity? Thank you for your honest candor. I am not sure I am ready for this, but why not just get on with facing it?

Catching my breathe for a leap,

Sew/C

June 19, 2005
1:50 pm
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sewunique
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Twinks,

Perhaps frogs is befitting, as we 'leap' into reality. I now have images of you and I and others playing leap frog.

But missing things that are so apparent sometimes, is like a light bulb moment when you see the light.....one reason I love to talk out things with my friends and they do the same.

Starting from the viewpoint that we begin with a blank slate and that goodness is within all of us does not always work out when we see the corruption in matured people. I think some people are doomed to be evil. And I really do not care to find out how they got there. I will just kindly remove mysself from their presence and gangly grips.

Movies, books and songs all come from experiences or vivid imaginations (sci fi). Helps to realize this when you make a reality check in life.

When I get to see this mivie, I will post any effects that I get. Hope it doesn't hurt too badly.

Hope you are enjoying life to the best you can grasp for each moment, Twinks.

Sew

June 19, 2005
3:11 pm
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CODA_Mom
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Sew,

Perhaps I am the one who is viewing this incorrectly...if you loved the movie before, I do not want to destroy your perception of what happened. It is true that two people can see the same movie and come away with totally different opinions on what happened. I do apologize if any of this in any way has caused you undue stress.

When you do decide to go ahead and see it, and if you need to talk about it, please let me know.

I think that I will watch it again because the music is so powerful.

Take care, CM

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