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RAS...from omw from your thread in Support threads
June 4, 2005
8:52 pm
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on my way
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RAS...this helped me so much. From Shiela Walsh:

For two years I have had a hard time forgiving a friend who walked away from me when I really needed him. I couldn't understand why he was so distant and cold. I found it hard to pray for him; every time I tried to pray my feelings got in the way; I wanted him to know how much he had hurt me. I wanted him to hurt as he had hurt me. Yet I knew this was wrong, and my unforgiving spirit was affecting my life. And I kept thinking of the verse, 'Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness" (I John 2:9).

I felt stuck. My friend had no desire to be reconciled to me or to talk to me about the distance between us. I couldn't seem to throw off this "stone" that was dragging me down. So I began to seriously pray for him. I forgave him, not because I felt any forgiveness, but because Christ has forgiven me. I prayed that God would bless him and bring him closer to Christ every day. I prayed this for months. At times I would think I was making real progress, and then his name would be mentioned, maybe someone telling me that he had said something negative about me, and all the old feelings would come rushing back. But I would stop, grab hold of my heart, and pray for him again.

Over time I realized that God was changing my heart. I began to see this person as more than just the cause of hurt. I could remember his gifts and good qualities. He became a whole person in my mind again rather than just the perpetrator of one act. I still don t know if and when I will be reconciled with my friend, but I know that I am not the same person who began to pray for him two years ago.

Without the call to discipline I would have given up a long time ago. I would have seen our estrangement as his problem and attempted to move on in my life. But how can I remain in Christ and hate my brother? How can I expect God to hear and answer my prayers if I hold onto such a cold place in my heart? When I started to pray for him, my motive was that God would change him. That was my whole intent. As I continued in prayer with discipline as a dear and trusted friend, I saw that it is God's heart to change me.

If you feel stuck bring your whole self to Christ, not just the problem, but you. Ask God to change your heart. Commit yourself to pray to that end. It's God's heart to give good gifts to his children.

June 4, 2005
9:24 pm
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Rasputin
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Thank you so much sweetie. That was so beautiful!!!!

Ya, it happened with me on so many occasions when God changed my heart! Forgiveness is one of the toughest. I experienced it with someone a couple of years and had to really forgive a man, (no romantic connection) who abused me verbally and even pushed me and accused me of being naive simply b/c I believe in God. I was in prayer for a whole week with fasting to be able to melt away the hate toward him. Then to protect my rights, I complained to the person in charge about him, b/c I know these people take advantage of our Christlike Charismatic conduct and continue to abuse us. Now, thanks to God's grace, I have forgiven him, but I keep him at arm's length even if I continue to speak with him.

Prayers will continue to you and me and the others here,

(((Love)))

June 4, 2005
9:29 pm
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This helped me too, and thing is I am dealing with this, and have been, and found this by accident...just what I needed to put it in perspective for me.

Thank you so much for your prayers, so many here to help in this respect.

June 5, 2005
5:10 pm
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angel4U
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OMW - Thank you! I am printing this one out, as I know there are many times I need this reminder (like today!).

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