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Prayer:
February 24, 2005
7:48 pm
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20-Feb-05

"An imperfection I have is that I'm not at peace with my imperfections!"

This is a fantastic point of focus for your meditation.

My guess is that most people are much the same in this regard.

My understanding of the reason why this is so is the fear of their imperfections causing their rejection from the group of people most important to them for meeting their needs.

The deeper focus for meditation and contemplation then become: "What are these specific needs that I fear not being met because of my real or imagined rejection from my support network caused by my imperfections?"

I suspect that a 'sense of self wellbeing maintenance' needs lie at the core of this issue. The ego fights desperately to maintain its boundaries in maintaining its sense of self and its well being. But if you try to find, identify, define and delineate these boundaries then you will see what happens. It is like chasing a mirage. The boundaries of self don't exist anywhere except in the nuances of the deluded mind.

Who is it that 'you' are uncomfortable about being? Exactly where are his boundaries? This is a question for you to answer for yourself only, not for me or for any one else, mate. Go for it. 🙂

February 25, 2005
1:28 pm
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Tez I cant even see the mirage. What you said is too tough to understand. Who is it I'm being uncomfortable with? Well, parts of my personality, what else? For example, there's that part of me which sometimes makes me lose ground when I see a pretty girl (still I believe I'm getting better). I love your "mate" thing, love that crocodile guy, heh. I think I would have asked "what imperfections do you have and why do you think you have them? In what way would you react correctly instead and how?" What do you think, is this a better inquiry or yours?

February 25, 2005
2:47 pm
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Tez, here's an imperfection I think I have. When someone comes close to me, I flee away, withdraw or remain where I am. In other words when they extend their hand to me, I dont return the favour or I return a cold hand. Later when they're gone, I frantically extend my hand but the right moment to have done that is gone. Why do I do this and how can I correct it? Its going to be a simple solution, I have to repeat something in my head after understanding whats going on. This is happening with the cutie I'm seeing nowdays. If this keeps happening, she'll be disappointed that maybe I just dont have the thing to get close with her.

February 25, 2005
6:39 pm
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Guest_guest.

You said:

"When someone comes close to me, I flee away, withdraw or remain where I am. In other words when they extend their hand to me, I dont return the favour or I return a cold hand. Later when they're gone, I frantically extend my hand but the right moment to have done that is gone. Why do I do this and how can I correct it? "

My guess is that you fear intimacy. Perhaps you fear people getting too close for fear that they might see your "imperfections" as you call them. I wouldn't call them "imperfections";I would call them defence mechanisms.

You see there is a core problem inside of your psyche that causes several 'symptoms' that you think are "imperfections".

You said:

"Its going to be a simple solution, I have to repeat something in my head after understanding whats going on."

This is a bandaid! Do you want to concentrate on learning how to put 'band aids' over symptoms or "imperfections" as you call them? Everytime you get rid of one, another will replace it. If you force your unconscious to give up one of its defences it will seek to generate another to defend itself.

If you had a broken leg would you seek out the best painkillers that you could find as the solution to your problem? Or would you firstly seek to have your leg splinted and then worry about pain killers if required after that?

Because symptoms are easy to spot and understand, you naturally want to see each of them as a separate problem. In fact they all can be seen as being 'symptoms' to a much deeper psychological and emotional problem.

Another good analogy would be a failing big end in your motorcar engine. The symptom would be an annoying knocking sound coming from under your bonnet. Another symptom might be loss of power. Another might be high readings on your temperature guage. Another might be a low oil pressure warning light.

As a solution to the engine problem, what would you think of wearing ear muffs, cutting the wires to the low oil pressure warning light, disconnecting the temperature guage and using a higher octane fuel to invrease power??? You may remove the immediate symptoms but in time the engine would generate another symptom by sending crank shaft through the engine block.:-) What would you say to such a person as the owner of this faulty automobile?? Would you tell him/her to screw a plate over the hole in the block and run on the remaining cylinders?

February 25, 2005
6:44 pm
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Hmmm! Please replace "by sending crank shaft" with "by sending a con rod"..

Silly me, I've never heard of a crank shaft coming through the side of a block. Mind you, Myth Busters might try doing that. 🙂

March 1, 2005
1:34 pm
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Hi Tez
"You see there is a core problem inside of your psyche that causes several 'symptoms' that you think are "imperfections"."

Which problem?

"This is a bandaid"

I understand what you're saying. I went to a hypnotherapist, he did something and gave me a tape which contained positive messages. When my mother gave me all the negative messages uselessly, it seems logical if we give ourselves positive messages over and over again, the damage can be reserved. Its really just a matter of being convinced to believe the negative or positive message. The positive attitude worked and also I met a close relative who effected me a lot because he was very strong, engaging and positive person.

So.. whats the core problem and how do I solve it? I'm trying to be better you know. I'm fearful sometimes about intimacy but I think I'm getting better. Being relaxed, positive, frank and myself is hard sometimes for me. Sometimes things go good, sometimes not. Myth Busters eh, I like that Show. I watched an episode where they flew frozen chickens on an airplane screen to see. I think if I remember correctly, the thawed chicken did more damage, hehe.

March 1, 2005
3:07 pm
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Guys, for all of the confusion, and since this is a Prayer thread, I think those so inclined should pray for you...yeah, I'm being a brat!

March 1, 2005
5:00 pm
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Guest_guest.

On my way has a point here. Our banter is not related to this thread's theme.

Perhaps you might like to start another thread; one that is relevant to what you see as being your 'core' issue?

March 1, 2005
6:45 pm
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LOL!!! and thank you.

March 1, 2005
6:47 pm
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You can put it under the Long tedious and Pointless thread...geeeeez..just kidding. You guys are awesomely different your own communication..really.

March 2, 2005
10:17 pm
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ok friends. I feel uncomfortable and in debt or "have to respond now" when i have my own thread. is that another core issue or what. I'll think about it. i feel there's some further things to straighten out again in myself.

March 3, 2005
1:58 pm
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OMW,

You are quite the little comedian, aren't you!?!! I hope you're still around to read this--and my long, tedious, boring thread!

Love to you, you little shit!

Ren'ai

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