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Prayer Request for Giggles ... Please Read!
October 1, 2008
3:55 pm
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Giggles_29
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((((((EVERYONE))))))) WOW thank you all sooooooooooooooo much for the concern and care!!! It really does mean alot to me. I enjoyed my 20 day vacation and am not back at work. My daughters bday and mine were excellent and LOTS of fun was had by all !!!!

On another note, my xbf served me papers on the night before my daughters bday and I did NOT see this coming at all. He got my child support papers and in return filed for half custody so that he doesn't have to pay child support. YEP isn't that great. So, we go to court tomorrow morning. I am very nervous. I have filed my response to his and my reasoning for not agreeing with it. I would have had no problem with it, UNTIL he started associating with and hanging out with people he used to use drugs with. Back in the beginning of May of this year, I kicked him out because he came home at 5am !!! So, needless to say I am not agreeing with what he has requested, and all for the safety of my daughter. He is out to get me. I am out for the BEST interest of my daughter. I will post a request on the Libs side, please for those of you who could, just read. :o) Thank you so much ALL of you for the thoughts and care! I appreciate each and every one of you. I will be in court tomorrow morning at 9am. I will try to update as soon as I can.

I hope each and everyone of you is doing well. !!!!

October 1, 2008
4:33 pm
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Friendma
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((((((((((GIGGLES))))))))))

October 1, 2008
8:15 pm
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soofoo
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(((((Giggles)))))

I have been where you are. I will pray for you. It will be alright. Judges have seen this so many, many times. You will be okay.

October 1, 2008
11:39 pm
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PreciousG
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(((((Giggles and Daughter))))

Sending Angels your way!

Precious

October 2, 2008
8:40 pm
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soofoo
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Giggles, How did it go?

October 2, 2008
11:12 pm
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assisi
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Hi
Hope things went well in court. You are not alone.
Assisi

October 3, 2008
12:00 am
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marypoppins
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(((((Giggles)))))

Hope you and your daughter are doing okay. You are brave to stand on your own and make a healthy home for you and your daughter. I hope that you and your exbf can somehow work together to do what is best for her. I know from personal experience how exhausting these financial and legal matters can be.

Our kids are so precious. Maybe your exbf will get himself together to be a good father, but as you know, you cannot make the changes for him. It's so difficult to put aside our anger at them for not being the partners we wanted and encourage them to be good fathers.

Remember to take care of yourself during this process and to let yourself feel everything. Eventually, decisions will be made and routines and habits will be established. Your daughter will adapt well, especially if she sees that you have faith in the situation.

Throughout her childhood, your daughter will face all kinds of challenges - at school, with friends, and so on, and she's developing the confidence now to face those challenges and prepare to one day navigate the world.

It WILL be okay. Your daughter is loved, and she has a great role model of a confident, self-loving mom. You're creating a safe home for her. One she will remember fondly. Perhaps you're giving her something you never had yourself but deserved.

Let the bigger picture give you strength during this time.

All the best!

Mary

October 3, 2008
2:16 pm
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PreciousG
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Giggles

I hope everything went well. Thinking of you.

((((Giggles and Daughter))))

Precious

October 3, 2008
5:45 pm
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Giggles_29
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First off I want to stay thank you ALL soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for the thoughts, care, and concern. I am truly touched and blessed to have you all here!

Court yesterday was stressful and all I can say is my xbf is a piece of work. I have tried and tried soooo many times to be the bigger person, go out of my way to make sure he can see his daughter and have quality time with her, be nice to him, etc. All it gets me is nowhere fast! It always seems he has one up on me and it really sucks! I have always respected him as the father of my child, regardless of what he's done, I never get the same respect, no matter what I do, how nice I am, it will never be good enough, and when he doesn't get his way, he will act out and not care about anyone (including his daughter), except himself.

I have to go back to court on 11/13. There is an investigator involved because he is on felony probation, and is associating with people who are also on felony probation and he has a history of using drugs with. He got in my face yesterday and told me I go for the throat, and how dare I bash him, and I am a ruthless b#$%@, and the best.... I need a psych evaluation because I have borderline personality disorder, mind you last year he told me the same thing when we were in court. I never knew he was a psychologist. Anyway, I missed half a day of work, and after all was said and done, they are going to drug test him, and get his probation officer involved. I am just praying, that's all I can do. I have to do my coparenting and then we go to mediation. I just hope that one day he can take responsibility for where he is in life instead of blaming me all the time. I am so sick of it. He was doing so good and now his behavior is full blown addiction behavior all over again. It's like a little kid, he doesn't get what he wants, when he wants it, so he files for custody and acts out.

OH he also got served the child support papers yesterday and said that he wasn't going to pay me a dime. BUT in the same breath said he only has his daughters best interest at heart. Whatever. I am frustrated. I am worn out. I just want what's best for my little girl. She will not be subjected to any of this. She will not be dragged in the middle. This is between me,him, and the courts. Now I hear he hasn't been working. Convienent. I will get no child support.

I am trying to just keep my head up and know everything happens for a reason, and trying to surrender it ALL up to God. I don't want to stress over it, and make myself sick. I know He's in charge, and I am trying so hard not to lose my faith...that's all I have right now!

Again, thank you all so much for the support. I love this site and all the people on it !!!!!!!

How are all of you???????????????

Love Giggles & daughter !!!!!!

October 3, 2008
10:40 pm
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marypoppins
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Hi Giggles,

I'm glad to hear that you're not taking on the responsibiity for his actions or allowing yourself to carry around all the stress from this. Sounds like you're doing very well under the circumstances.

When my daughter was little, and I divorced my exh the first time, he walked off his job and paid me child support with cash advances from his credit card. Later, after we'd gotten back together, he got extremely pissed off at me for not wanting to tie his credit card debt to our mortgage and joint expenses.

There were many other ways he stepped on me and tried to make me responsible for his bad behavior. However, although he has never cared about being an ass to me, he did become more responsible as a father as our daughter has got older. Being a good dad is important to him now, and how she sees him matters to him.

I don't know what will happen in your case, but I know how painful and frustrating all of it can be. Please post whenever you need to about this. Back when I was really in the thick of it with my exh, I didn't always manage to take the high road. Sometimes the emotions are too powerful and restraint flies out the window.

We're here for you. Peace to you and your daughter.

Mary

October 3, 2008
11:41 pm
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marypoppins
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...as our daughter has gotTEN older...

October 5, 2008
7:40 pm
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soofoo
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Giggles,
Soooo familiar, right down to the amateur diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. How do you know my ex husband? Just kidding.

It's awful and yet it's soooo common. Just remember to keep your cool while he's desperately trying to rattle your cage.

He will get nowhere with all this horse manure.

As far as your child support goes, just keep it in the probate. He'll be spending time in jail if he doesn't pay it. That's the best you can do.

October 5, 2008
7:50 pm
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Friendma
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((((((((((GIGGLES))))))))))

October 8, 2008
4:47 pm
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on my way
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I will pray Giggles!

Love and prayers,
omw

October 8, 2008
10:21 pm
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pilot_tress
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(((((((((( Giggles and daughter )))))))))) Safe and sweet dreams tonight!

October 9, 2008
12:55 pm
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Giggles_29
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(((((marypoppins, pilot_tress, on my way, soofoo, friendma)))))))))) ~ Thank you all so very much! I tell you what my prayers have been answered and I cannot thank you all enough for the sincerity in your thoughts and prayers! It truly is heartfelt and I thank you all so very much!

Last night I talked to my xbf for the first time since court. All I can say, is that was truly God working in him and through him. We sat down and he started talking about how he has started hanging out where he had done his residential program this week. I asked him what made you go back there, he said "I don't know ... something just lead me back there." I said, " It was God and again he's looking out for you and trying to tell you something, so if I were you, I'd pay attention."

Then we started talking about court and how he acts out this way when he is so unhappy with himself and he doesn't know how to cope. He mentioned that he is thinking about going into a sober living environment, which is what I suggested last year before he got out of the program, but he said he would be fine. Well here we are exactly one year later, and he is now realizing this is a life long battle, not just something that's cured in 90 or 120 days.

I have been praying through all of this (no matter how hard it was for me to do in spite of all that he was doing), that God knock on the door to his heart, and that he let Him in. I told him that I have always just been out for our daughter's best interest, and that I would NEVER keep her from him, unless he was using drugs of course. I told him that he cannot do this, he cannot lash out, act out, because it only hurts himself.

Also, it turns out he was laid off about a month ago, and that's why he is having trouble paying his half of daycare. I will do what I have to do and pay it all, however I'd be much better knowing he's not just trying to hurt me and not pay it, and really trying to fix himself so that he can be the dad that our daughter deserves.

Last night was so different from all the other years I've known him. Normally, from the second that first tear was shed I'd be right back with him, NOT THIS TIME! I will support and respect him as her father, and as long as he's doing what he needs to for HIM! However, he severed the ties for good this last time. In the past 3 yrs we'd only been together for 4 mos. It just wasn't the same.
This is how I know I am truly over it and ready to just move on.

I am hoping that this can open up some doors of communication for us. We are parents, we will need to talk in regards to our daughter. I hope that this whole court thing can just be filed and done with next month. I tell you, everytime he acts out like this, something happens to him, he just doesn't see it until we end up in court, or something else like him getting laid off. He will need to move soon I am guessing since he hasn't been working. He knows I am just looking out for our daughter.

So, we shall see where this leads us. I told him he needs to take care of himself, and focus on him, before trying to jump into anything else. He now sees how easy it is to get back into the addiction and the addictive behaviors. He hasn't physically used the drug, but he did say he now understands where the behavior will lead him.

I just sat and listened, and didn't try to rescue him, didn't offer any advice, other than he needs to fix himself nobody will or can do it for him, and until he's happy with himself he will not be happy with anyone or anything else.

I will continue to pray for him, I do wish him well, I do wish for him to be able to be there for his daughter. I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted. I will keep standing my ground and not backing down either! God is awesome that's all I can say.

Thanks everyone and I hope that you are all having a wonderful day !!!
@--]---- xxoo Giggles & Lil Angel xxoo

October 9, 2008
12:56 pm
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Giggles_29
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((((Assisi)))))) Im sooooo sorry I thought I included your name! I didn't mean to leave you out! How are you doing these days?!

October 14, 2008
5:31 pm
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Giggles_29
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((((OMW)))) Thank you !!! How are you doing these days??? I posted an update "Feeling blah today".
I hope you are doing well !!!

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