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Peace4all, How are you?
November 12, 2008
8:25 am
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Healing.. and peace
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Peace,

How are you doing? Haven't heard from you for a while now. Is everything alright? Hope your just busy and taking it easy.

Healing and Peace

November 12, 2008
1:34 pm
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(((Healing and Peace)))
Thanks so much for thinking of me. I seem to have a heck of a cold and have been laying low so to speak. My oldest son, the one in recovery came up last weekend, and it was great....
however..lol..I think he brought me his left overs of a cold, kids, you gotta love them Other then that I am ok and just trying to get rest and take it easy, hubby had made alot of homemade soup the week before and it sure has been a blessing. I was thinking of you also and wondering how you and your family were doing. Is your sister still in jail, and are your folks holding up ok. I sure hope so. You had said when I last heard from you that (she) had tried to place calls to your house while you were away. When my son was in,he would call collect as only they can do and I just could not say NO...
I was very new to my recovery at that point and had no boundries, just alot of guilt. So, our phone bill hit 300 for a few months and we just do not have that. After asking my youngest son to help us pay the bill, i finally got strong enough t tell the one in jail....No more, maybe once a month but not everyday or so. I had finally learned..I have a right to set healthy boundries to protect myself...Lossing my phone would not have been good for me or anyone else.
So, thats about all I have to report in today ....hopeing to feel better soon and praying you and yours are holding up well......again thanks dear girl 🙂 Love in recovery, Peace4all

November 12, 2008
6:17 pm
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Hi Peace4All,

My parents seem to holding up well, speak to both of them everyday on the phone. I truly feel they are relieved just knowing she is somewhere other then the streets .. although I do think she will get out on her court date for time served. But then again who know's it is all in "God's Hands... She continues to try to make all the collect calls to them and me, but I too learned the hard way years ago when she was in jail and I had her son with me at the time, those collect calls get high and quickly too! My parents have done what I suggested by turning off their ringer on there home phone.. they can still call me and most everyone calls them on their cell phones anyway.. So they don't need to even answer their house phone.. we also created a code if we are calling them at home.. we let it ring once and then hang up then call them back so they know it is one of us.. I answered one of her calls, moreless so I could say "I love you" and she was the same on and off again crying, and trying to come up with a plan on how everyone could do this or that to get her out... "you know the storie's".. Even asked me to make a three way phone call to her drug dealer... lol NO, I didn't fall for it, and would never!

Got my septic major problem taken care of this morning.. but now I have to have a talk to my future daughter in law... need I say more.. I already had told her that she can't flush femine products...but she had told my son she didn't understand what the big deal was... that she does at her house and it never caused a problem... ugg.

Hope your feeling better, those kids do bring some of those bugs with them when they come to visit.. One of my son's works part time at a elementry school and when he first started a couple years ago, it was like he was in preschool all over again bringing all those bugs home with him...Well that's it from here for now.. Will see you again on the online meeting

HEaling and Peace

November 12, 2008
9:36 pm
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(((((((Peace)))))))

OMG...I thought that was you but felt funny to say...hey are you my Peace from the other place..lol...I am so sorry..teehee...You should have said.
Hey grammie its ME 🙂 I am very happy to have seen you there, I attend most mornings, just lately I have been sleeping in with this cold, cause I am up during the night. I am also happy to hear that you and your folks are holding up. I also remember my son thinking that everyone should put there money together to bail him out...So, again we do know that God has a plan for your sister just as he did for my son, here's praying our answers will be positive.I am glad you got that septic tank pumped out, It is such a mess when it comes up in the house. And again....I cannot believe that was you and I was just like: oh hello, how are you" I had a feeling but again I though is this her or someone else with that name..Forgive me dear girl, we have build a stronger bond then that. I can say that my head is foggy and maybe thats why I wasn't on top of it.
I so hope to see you again soon, please take care and know I am thinking of you and yours...........
Love in recovery, Peace4all/grammie

November 13, 2008
9:34 am
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(((Grammie))) (((((Peace4All)))))

That is funny, because I thought you had figured out that it was me, and was why you had sent the private message.

I have been going on the online meetings sometimes in the morning and a couple in the evenings.. but still going to the F2F meetings three times a week.

Will see you again there.. Me

Healing and Peace ((( Grammie )))

November 18, 2008
10:59 am
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(((((Peace)))))

LOL..had to come over here to say goodbye to you...I got disconected and you were gone when I got back there.
It was so nice to see you and share a few words with you this morning, I have missed you and our talks
As for your sis, well she just has not been allowed to hit her bottom yet. But God does still have a plan for her, and I pray as I know you and your family do..that it is sobrity...
I found a wonderful little poem I would like to share with you........
Its called Broken Dreams...........
Letting go and Letting God..........

As children bring their broken toys..
With tears for us to mend...
I brought my broken dreams to God...
Because He was my friend...
But then instead of leaving Him.....
In peace to work alone...
I hung around and tried to help.....
With ways that were my own.....
At last I snatched them back.........
And cried, " How can you be so slow?"
"My child," he said, "What could I do"
You never did let Go".........
I thought you might like this........
Have a blessed day, Love in recovery.
Peace4all

November 18, 2008
2:59 pm
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((((( Peace4all))))))

AAAWWWHHH... thank you your a sweet heart!

Healing and peace, me

November 19, 2008
12:55 pm
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Hi Peace4all, ((( Grammie )))

I missed you in the meeting this morning... My sister's birthday was yesterday and I found myself feeling bad for her last night because she is somewhere sleeping in a car...anyway that's what she told my mother when she called her yesterday begging for money. I found myself feeling some kind of guilt for a bit...by feeling bad that I was in a warm house with my family enjoying life while she is living out of a car... But I caught myself in that feeling and had to remind myself that her choices are hers, and I am entitled to be happy and warm without feeling guilty at all.

So strange how if we let some things get to us, how we can react to them or find outselves reacting when we already know that we can't do anything for them, and they have as much free will as we do.

Have you heard anymore from your daughter and granddaughter? Hope your feeling better.

Oh well, just wanted to say hello and see how your doing?

Healing and Peace to you, ((( from me to you))))

November 19, 2008
12:58 pm
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(((((((Healing))))))))

Good morning, I was on the other side and read about your history concerning your injuries years ago, wow...I am thrilled to hear that you do horse theraphy with adults and children, I want to share that many years ago I worked as a nanny for a family who had a child with CP and part of my job was to take him to therapys...PT, OT, and a program that used horses called, Ahead with Horses.
I cannot tell you what a blessing it was to be a part of that little boys life and to see him grow stronger with all of the different resourses available to him. When he first started riding, he could not sit up by himself, a teacher had to ride on the horse with him, and as time went
by, he became able to sit alone with no fear and it was amazing to see. I just wanted to touch base with you on another topic that we have in common, small world isnt it? Hope all is well in your life today, we both know, its our choice. Love, Peace4all

November 19, 2008
1:17 pm
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((((Healing))))

About guilt, I once heard that ours is a "Thinking Disease" of course you feel bad about your sister, you love her..she is your family. A few years ago my one son used to call and say he was sleeping in someones car cause he didnt have one, or on the grass at a park, it ate me up, I could not sleep, but thank God, that changed in time. My hubby kept reminding me that he (son) had burned his bridges and no one trusted enough to let him stay with them, I know even tho it hurt me, the truth was I did'nt want him here with me. When people are useing no one wants them around but other addicts. But as you know from your own experience and knowledge this too will pass, and it will not always be this way. I find that even tho I worried about son's safety in jail, at least I knew where he was and he was warm.<< Sweet girl>> I felt this same way about my baby sister years ago, and in hindsight I say, maybe if I had had a program I could have been there for her, But in truth, She had a program and God and she chose not to surrender to his will and stay clean, sorry to say...her choice...as painful and cold as this seems to say now. I do however believe that people with alcohol and drug problems have not learned to love themselves, as God loves them. Keep the faith and keep looking up, remember I care..
Love in recovery, your friend,Grammie

November 19, 2008
4:25 pm
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Peace4all, (((Grammie)))

Yes it is a small world actually... your correct about guilt being called a "thinking decease" it can truly cause some real uneasey, and out of balance feelings. I caught myself, and realized what I was doing right away. My mother had just told me the same as what you wrote... on how you felt years ago in regard to your son... As rough as it can be in jail that at least she knew where she was and that she had a place to sleep and it was warm... my sister doesn't have a car either so I don't know who's or what car she was referring to...She trys so hard to play mind games with our mother, as she thinks if she plays my mother's sympathy bottons then she will give in and give her money for a hotel room which she would only use to buy more drugs and alcohol. My mother remained strong and kindly told her there are warm places out there for you dear... and it is up to you to find them.

I also agree so much on your belief that people with alcohol and drug problems have not learned how to love themselves. Which is why I have always tried to let them know that I do love them and that they are worth everything to themselves and others.

As far as the equine therapy program, it is such a wonderful feeling being able to help and see such progress. I know the little boy that you were able to help with CP really touched your heart. It truly isn't like work to me at all, it is more of a blessing to be able to be part of they're life. I could tell you story after story about the thousands of children and adults that we have seen and been blessed enough to be part of their life, and some mircles as well in the process. For me it has been mostly the terminally ill that really have touch my heart, of course I feel greatly about the ones that are going through so many treatments for cancer and other deceases or recovering from a serious illness as well... but there is something about the strength little kids deminstrate that amazes me everytime I am able to be part of their short life. There tiny bodies are so weak and yet their spirit is so strong, sometimes I feel like they are giving me more then I am giving them.

I have to say that in all honesty when I went into the medical field, I had no idea that I would ever be combining that knowledge with my equine knowledge years later. If it wasn't for the accident that happened I probably wouldn't have either... I was still working in the medical field when the accident happened and at the same time I had created the charitable org. to do on the side thinking that maybe I would retire from the medical if I enjoyed doing the program more. However, the one I created before the accident was a differant type of equine program.. and the accident happened the day after all my paper work was filed and I had got my determination letter from the Govn. So I had to re-do the type of program and rewrite my articles in order combine the two fields together as form of therapy program. Again another blessing, as bad as the accident was and as painful as it was, it helped me in so many ways.

Will give you a couple links in a private message next time I see you in the meeting. If I gave it here it would give my identity and since this board doesn't allow that I will do it on the other.

Will talk to you soon again, Peace to you. Your a sweet lady. Me

November 25, 2008
11:33 am
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(((Peace))))
Sorry you had to leave before closing.
You can simply type in................
Alanons 12 traditions........and it will come up, i went to the 1st one and it had the 12 steps, 12 traditions and the 12 concepts, plus much much more. I think you will like that site. I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving and all your family is well. Hope to hear from you soon...
Love in recovery, Peace4all/grammie

November 25, 2008
1:34 pm
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((( Grammie/Peace4all )))

Yeah, I had to be down at the hospital by 11 for work, so I couldn't stay in the meeting.. I did google the Alanon traditions so was able to print them out... Thanks again... will talk to you soon... and hope your Thanks Giving is wonderful too.... probably will talk to you before then though... Your great. Peace, Love and Happiness to you. Me

November 26, 2008
12:37 pm
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(((((((Healing & Peace))))))))

Happy ThanksGiving to you and Yours...
Here's hoping your day goes well and you are able to count your many blessings, still having your parents, a son in recovery and a sister who God is indeed looking after........
A wonderful husband and your other children, and i should have put this first..smileing, a love of God......
Blessings and love to you, Grammie

November 30, 2008
10:01 am
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Peace4all (((( Grammie ))))

How was your Thanksgiving? I've been pretty busy this past week and haven't been on too much. We had a wonderful week... kids all came for Thanksgiving, along with my parents. Then Friday we took all the kids out to dinner, and had a nice evening together. Back to work tomorrow... but looking forward to it.

Did you go anywhere for Thanksgiving or did you have family there with you? Was thinking of you, and hope your doing well.

Healing and Peace to you, Me

December 3, 2008
4:55 pm
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(((Healing & Peace)))
Hi there, sorry it has taken me so long to respond to you. Hubby and I were here together on Thanksgiving trying to finally get rid of our colds. My son who is in recovery wanted to come up but, I had to tell him we just were not up to it, then I felt guilty..lol..old codep thinking. However our day went well, hubby did most of the cooking and it was nice and peaceful. I am not sure whether I enjoy the peace or miss the children, but it is a different time in my life and we do live 70 miles away from three of them and about 200 from our youngest. So....thats life and we learn to accept and adjust..I have been thinking of you and hope you and your entire family are doing well. How is your son doing, is he still attending his meetings, I pray he finds the joy and comfort that the program has to offer him. How are your folks, especially your mom, regarding your sister, may the Lord continue to keep her strong and well, she is very fortunate to have you as a daughter and support system. Ok i will stop for now, i just wanted to say hello and let you know I am fine.
Hope to see you at a meeting or on here soon...Love in recovery, Peace4all / grammie

December 4, 2008
2:32 pm
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((( Peace4all )))

Spoke to you this morning... but thanks for this post. You already now know what's going on... lol

talk to you later on, Healing and peace

December 8, 2008
1:25 pm
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((( Grammie )))

I've missed talking to you, and of course your sense of humor, how are ya doing? I'm not sure if I told you but my sisters's one and only grand daughter just turned a year old. So we had a birthday party for her... brakes my heart that my sister is missing these moments with her grand daughter. The baby looks exactly like my sister, big blue eyes, same smile, same nose, the same as what my sister was like as a child, a beautiful happy little soul.

My mother has decided that the baby is going to call her GG because she can't say great grandma.. and she has been saying GEE GEE everytime she see's my mom... too cute. I watched my Mom with her at the Birthday party and you can see the pain in my mom's face when anyone says how much the baby looks like my sister. But my Mom smiles and handles it well. She is a wonderful Great Grandma... and I think she really just cherish's the time she is able to spend with the baby all the more because my sister isn't around.

Hope to see you in the online meeting soon, was kind of busy working this morning so wasn't able to make it.

((( Love ya ))) Healing and Peace

December 8, 2008
1:44 pm
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((((peace4all))))

December 12, 2008
12:37 pm
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((((peace4all))))

December 12, 2008
1:17 pm
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Random,

Thank you sweet heart for hugs on my new thread, I've read some of what you have written, and I've always sent good wishes to you from my heart, just not posted them.

((((((((Random)))))))))

Not sure where Peace4all is, but she checks in here from time to time, she is such a kind hearted lady... I'll let her know that you have sent your hugs to her...I talk to her in an online meeting often. I'm sure she will get back to you though as soon as she reads this.

(((Grammie/Peace4all))) (((Random)))

Healing and Peace

December 12, 2008
1:53 pm
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((((((RandomWoman)))))

Hi there girl, sorry it was taken me awhile to respond to you. but here I am thank you for the hugs, I will take as many as I can get..lol.
How are you doing today and are you feeling any better, I sure pray so. I am over here on the lib side most of the time because I can speak freely about how I feel about healing, faith and God. So if you would like to join Healing and Peace and I over here you are welcome to do so. I dont stay on all day but I do check in at least once a day. Have a blessed day and remember their are others who care, keep your faith it will never let you down, nor will He..
Love in recovery, Peace4all/grammie

December 12, 2008
2:15 pm
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(((Peace-girl))))

Hey there, how are you today, I hope doing well. Whats the word on nephew and is he in treament yet? How is your mom doing and how about you ? Remember, you are only one person and you cant help everyone even tho you may want to. I have found that in spreading ourselves to thin we forget about US, just my experience
I would like to post something I found in an alanon room, it isnt too long so here goes.......

After A While........................
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.......................
And you learn that love doesnt mean leaning and company doesnt always mean security.........................
And you begin to learn that kisses arent contracts and presents arent promises..............................
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child..................
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight................................
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much...
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers..............................
And you learn that you really can endure...............................
that you really are strong...And you really have worth...................
And you learn, and you learn, with every goodbye you learn.............
I hope you find this as lovely as I did....when I feel up to it I have another but it is very long and I have never learned how to copy and paste..lol..so I would have to type by hand.. as for the pc, well I have just enough knowledge to make me dangerous.lol....May you have a blessed day, Love to you in recovery
Grammie.....
and ps.....Randomwoman, this is for you also.

December 12, 2008
3:26 pm
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(((Peace4all)))

That was beautiful, thank you for sharing.

My mom is doing well, I did end up having to tell my parents about my nephew because he is driving one of their cars... so best to let them know before any harm.

I don't know if he is in or out of a re-hab but as we know we can't do it for them.

I'm good, no I'm great... because we crossed paths and now I have a dear friend, you!

Healing and peace (((((Grammie/Peace4all))))

I have to finish my notes for work now but will talk to you soon.

December 12, 2008
3:43 pm
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Ty sweetheart. Something finally clicked today. My life wont get better until I get better that includes my relationship with my husband. If I change for the better there is a good chance that he will too and if he doesnt well then I would have tried with all I have. I cant give up yet. Yes I still have a ton of Issues Maybe if I change myself then IT will change the way people treat me. Now im not talking about making myself better for other people Or changing who I am at the core but there is a lot of stuff that I do that just hurts me worse in the long run. Believe it or not Im actually a sunday school teacher. I need to get back to God. I think that Ive just been drifting farther and farther away and the more I drift the worse my life is. Its difficult cause I am the spiritual leader of this house. My husband believes but does not practice. I am so blessed with my children. I went to 2 of them separately today the other is in school right now and gave them hugs and kisses and told them that how blessed I am to have them as a son. I am so blessed with them. They are very loving and giving. I couldn't ask for better children. I need to make myself better for me and for them.

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