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OMW and Rasputin (and anyone)
September 20, 2005
4:32 pm
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2bstrong
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Hello friends,

I'm not sure what I am feeling this afternoon--I met with my ex last night for my requested closure conversation. I had prayed about it in July and August. It happened last night because my heart couldn't wait anymore. I needed it.

I spoke from the heart, and prayed for guidance on my way to the meeting.

I think I just need your words of comfort and prayers that it will be ok. I am feeling shaky today, but that is to be expected. I know this is the end, there will be no more contact as that is what I told him last night. We said goodbye...

September 20, 2005
5:00 pm
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SoulSpirit
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I apologize for not knowing your entire circumstances... but I can tell you from personal experience that God does have a plan for you! That plan is always to your benefit, and sometimes in life, we have to go through some things in order to be able to move forward to the new plans He has fr us.

Your final goodbyes are just the beginning of a new you! The biggest lesson I have learned in my life is that God is bigger and better than I could ever possibly imagine! His plans for me are always much better than I could ever do for myself.

When I learned to lean on Him (oh boy that is so difficult at times), I learned that He wants nothing but the best for me and my life! He wants His children (like all fathers) to have the best of everything, and his love for us is so very unconditional. We will never get this life to the perfection of Christ, but that is what is so amazing about God... he loves, forgives, and still every day is there for us.

The key is trusting and believing. Reminds me of an old song.. Trust and Obey, for there is no other way.... and it is so very true!

September 20, 2005
8:34 pm
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Rasputin
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((((2BBBB))))))

Thrilled to see you honey after long time!!! It's been quite a while since I saw you on this lovely site.

I can't add more to SoulSpirit words of wisdom, ditto!!!

I believe in retrospect, we will be able to comprehend all those things that do Not make any sense in our life.

Just a few days ago, I ran across a guy I had crush on several years ago. When I pretended not to see him, he approached me in friendly way and greeted me inquiring if I did not recognize him. Though, I returened his greeting, I remained formal with him. This guy whom I had crush on several years ago, I was thinking about him 24/7. I was really classical codep then. I made him my God, when he does not even deserve it. Now, he lives with gf.

As for my other male friend, yes I miss him. However, my feelings to him now are more quiet and more yielding to God's will. I do suffer, and I can't figure it out. However, I learned to trust that God knows best and thus surrendered all my will and emotions to Him.

In each trial, God will shape our character and make us more wise and mature till we meet the right person.

Rest assured, honey, that I will keep lifting you up in my prayers!

~Love & prayers, Ras~

September 21, 2005
12:35 am
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hottamales
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2b- hi 🙂 i know that saying goodbye is hard, especially if there is an internal battle going on about part of you wanting to keep in touch, and part of you knowing you shouldn't.. 🙂 I've been there, probably many people have, in one way or another. One thing that has helped me is guarding my heart.. it says somewhere to, "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life".. I'm honestly still learning how to do that, it doesn't come overnight. But, it is worth working at.. if this doesn't make sense, let me know, I'll try to explain it more 🙂

Blessings

~HotT

September 21, 2005
9:23 am
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2bstrong
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Hi Friends,

Thank you for your awesome, inspired, and lovely uplifting words.

(((((Soul Spirit))))) Your words are right in line with something my mother said yesterday, I was telling her that this was not where I had intended to be at this point in my life. Her simple response was "Well, this is where God wants you to be right now." DUH! Trust, and obey, there is no other way. I pray for to be filled with the grace to accept God's will for me. Thank you for your thoughts and words, ss.

(((((Rasputin))))) Thank you for sharing your story! What a wonderful testament to healing. This really touched me: ..."my feelings to him now are more quiet and more yielding to God's will".

That is where I would like to be. I can see it from where I am. I felt a bit angry at him last night, but after a good night's rest, I feel so good this morning. The physical rest is so important for me in the healing process. If I am not sleeping, I find that I am resisting what is natural throughout the day. I have much more peace today. I have missed you Rasputin, I think of you so often. With love, 2b.

HotT--Nice to hear from you, too. I want to look into your thoughts of "guarding your heart". Is that biblical? You are so right about the eternal internal battle. I would think the guarding of the heart could be useful in future relationships--as it could not only mean one's own heart, but the heart of others as well. Feel free to elaborate, would love to hear more from you.

God bless all of you, I will say special prayers of thanksgiving for all of you and your precious lives today.--2b

September 21, 2005
6:43 pm
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on my way
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Hi 2B,

There is a verse that says, "For as much AS IS POSSIBLE, make peace with those....."
This meant a lot to me when I was going through a break-up. I tried, and wanted to part amicably, moreso than he did I believe. I couldn't understand why I felt that way and he didn't. But this particular verse has brought me through many questions I have had since then. Not everyone wants peace, so we are told to seek peace with others, when possible. When not, be content you tried and let it go.

I did read your thread in support threads, and thought you handeled very well...better than I could have ever done! Sounds as if you were firm and kept your composure, knew what you wanted and did not want, what you would tolerate and not tolerate, and you were kind. You have a very sweet, honest spirit, and closure is very much needed...and kind of scary to pursue, but you did and were successful. And now you heal, one day at a time, it is not an "all or nothing" scenario. But I can understand your hurt, and will keep you in prayer.

Hugs, prayers and blessings to you,
omw

September 21, 2005
7:46 pm
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2bstrong.

"The Truth of the Cause of Suffering - Ignorance leads to desire and craving which invariably results in suffering." - The 2nd Noble Truth.

Breaking up with a partner after an intimate relationship - especially one in which a dire need to 'love' and to 'loved' that partner is strongly felt to be as essential as the air we breathe - can be an extremely painful and life shattering experience. It sounds to me like that is what you are experiencing now.

Having been there twice in my life, I know that the illusion of total emptiness, worthlessness and despair can be so totally overwhelming. At the end of the first of the two relationships, I was reduced to a shell of a human being who only wanted to die.

However, I didn't die. I found the inner courage and desire to find a way out; to find out why I was experiencing life and death emotions when in reality all that had happened was the very common breakup of a very ordinary relationship.

The imperatives in my mind were the finding of answers to the following questions:

Of what facts about me in relation to this ex-partner am I ignorant; facts that are causing so much suffering???

Why did I emphatically believe that I had to have this person in my life just to function normally and happily again???

How could so much fear of losing her produce soooo much pain???

As Dr. Gerard Jampolsky expounded "love is letting go of fear". So ... how come so much fear came from what I felt was the so called 'love' that I felt for her?? Was the converse also true? Was 'fear letting go of love'? Were warm fuzzy feelings about someone and 'loving' that person the same thing?? How could my extreme need for her be love?? Was I in love with her at all?? Was I just a very emotionally sick puppy??

Why was my unwillingness to let her go producing the fear?? Why was I so unwilling to let her go?? What did I want from her that I believed that I had to have?? Why was sex with her so magnificent when on an objective scale I rated her performances about 1 out of 10 compared to other women that I had been with??

Finding the answers to these questions was only the start of a very interesting journey inwards that, over the years since, has produced precious and priceless insights for me.

"Sweet are the uses of adversity, like the toad ugly and venomous, it bears yet a precious jewel in its head." - Little Willi Shakesphere.

"If you want potatoes then you had better grab a hoe." - Fr. John Rogers. S.J.

All the best.

September 22, 2005
1:03 am
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hottamales
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2Bstrong.. 🙂

Yes, I will definitely elaborate more on that soon--- right now i need to go to bed very badly! To start u off thought, yes it is biblical, found in Proverbs 4:23(Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life)... I'd suggest looking the whole chapter up sometime, it's good to get stuff in the context.. I have been learning A LOT about guarding my heart and such, because I tend to wear mine on my sleeve, and have a, "I'm tenderhearted, walk all over me!" sign on it sometimes lol... anyway, like I said I'm learning, and nothing we learn will ever go to waste! 🙂

ok, talk to you tomorrow, Blessings all

~HotT

September 22, 2005
5:32 pm
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on my way
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Tez, it is nice to see a male point of view, and good questions to ask. T

September 22, 2005
6:09 pm
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Hottamales.

Is your nickname constructed from the combination of 'Hotta'(as in more heat) and 'males'(the lesser component of the human species, indicating some hidden desire?

Or is it a combination of 'hot' and 'tamales' indicating a predilection for spicy, gut wrenching Mexican foods?

Very interrrrresting .... 🙂

September 22, 2005
6:32 pm
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hottamales
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Tez.. 😀

lolol.. good one there, i liked.. i don't mind "hot men" *wink wink*..

yes, my name is coz i love spicy food, yum yum..oh and cause i like "tea".. AND coz i think i'm hot.. or not.. well sometimes.. lol 😉

and what about your name? 🙂

~HotT

September 23, 2005
6:16 pm
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Hottamales.

My first name is Terence. Being a male who worked amongst a lot of Aussie yobbos, I soon got the name 'Tezza' grafted onto me. Then, Aussie males, being bone lazy, they soon abreviated even that down to 'Tez'- and that stuck! That's the boring truth behind my nickname - it is my semi-real name.

In my airforce days I went by the nickname of 'Spud' - now you can probably guess my surname. 🙂 If you can, don't break my anonymity here, will you!

Enough of this deep and meaningful stuff - lets get into the hot tamales. Phew!

September 23, 2005
8:29 pm
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hottamales
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lol tez 😉 it's all good, i'll keep my "mouth" shut!

September 24, 2005
5:41 pm
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hottamales
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Tez..

have you lived in Aussie-land all your life, or for just awhile? I have a friend there, would love to go there someday 🙂

September 25, 2005
8:06 pm
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hottamales.

Yep!! Except for a few months in an 'ashram' in India, and another month or cavorting around in the UK - never been to the States, though. I'm not fast enough on the draw to survive there, I fear. 🙂

If you can wrestle crocodiles and can out run and jump Skippy, and don't mind walking upside down, you'll be OK here. 🙂

I live in the land down under where wimmin roar and men chunder. 🙂
Do you know what the word 'chunder' means? It is an abbreviation of the words "Watch out under".

In double decker beds when the drunken man on the top bunk can stand the spinning room no longer he shouts 'CHUNDER' to his mate below before letting go of his stomach contents in a vain attempt to re-create Niagra Falls in a somewhat polluted form. No wonder wimmin roar down here. 🙂

September 26, 2005
9:53 pm
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hottamales
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lol ter.. that is just plain gross 🙂

September 27, 2005
4:41 am
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I know.:-) But that's Auzzie men - just gross - but ... ... like koala bears very cuddly and lovable. 🙂

September 27, 2005
11:08 pm
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hottamales
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lol.. if you say so. I'll take your word for it 😉

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