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OK - as a tempoary atheist/agnostic.....
March 26, 2009
5:23 pm
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On the 26-Mar-09 you wrote:

"Hey Everybody,

I don't even know what to say or make of this thread... especially the past week of posts. I'd like to put a happy spin on it, but I don't think there is one. It's unhealthy, non-productive, really just destructive."

Yes destructive it certainly is.

Allocation of blame and finger pointing are equally as non-productive as they are destructive. To your credit, you have studiously avoided doing either.

Now to put a positive spin on the whole affair: Perhaps now that the boil has been lanced the whole nasty sore can start to heal.

I drink to mental health!

March 26, 2009
5:24 pm
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Thanks everyone for your positive posts in trying to defuse the whole nasty business.

March 26, 2009
5:51 pm
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And thanks to everyone else for not writing negative posts like:

  • "BevDee outwitted you, turned you around, bent you over and shafted you with your own words." (Tez, 19-Mar-09)
  • "Yet one, such as G_g who has never experienced either hypnotic regression or astral projection has the arse as thick as a rhinocerous and a brain to match by telling you that you imagined it. (Tez, a few days ago)
March 26, 2009
8:59 pm
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MsGuided
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Healing and peace.

I'm not roaring really.

Here's the thing. I was never conditioned by dogma. I feel natural the way I am.

It's this collective mental illness brought on and promoted by religion that makes all of us suffer.

I often wonder how our mental health would be if people went back to pagan or tribal belief systems where male and female energy were given equal respect and power. There were different roles, but neither was more important than the other. It was true symbiosis.

With technology and science these spiritual beliefs could bring about a better world for us all.

March 26, 2009
9:43 pm
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Healing.. and peace
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MsGuided,

I truly understand, really... just kidding around with you. Your right there should not be a differance at all, and I feel that many beliefs taught do and can cause a person to suffer trying to please someone, something, must live this way or that way.... Can you just imagine how much good there would be without people (not all) breaking down the spirit we were all born with... it is really sad to watch and see often how many people suffer because of what they were told they had to believe.

This isn't exactly the same thing, but just this evening a friend of one of my daughter's came over, he is a big kid a couple years younger then her, but so broken hearted for many reasons, and I can see so much pain in him. His mother passed away three years ago, and his father is a the type of man that thinks that his sone should be a MAN.. at 17 years old... he came over to our home and was holding ice on his jaw so I asked what happened.. He said his father hit him.. I truly thought he was kidding at first and said no.. really what happened.. then I noticed a tear, and realized he was telling me the truth... this makes me sick, his own father stealing his spirit.. all with some attempt to make him a Man.

Peace to you, healing and peace

March 26, 2009
11:31 pm
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MsGuided
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Yea healing thats really sad. Really horrible. But perhaps you provided some comfort for that boy. It's a big role to fill, but a community raises a child right? If that teenager can be around a normal loving family, find some support and inspiration where he can, he may have a chance to heal and thrive, if he has any fight left in him. he may be able to get away from his father sooner than later.

There has to be a passion to rise above a situation though.Just hope that his spirit isn't crushed.

Be well!

March 26, 2009
11:59 pm
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Thanks MsGuided,

I'm going to try to talk to the new woman in his father's life.. I know she would be as supportive as can be, having four grown son's of her own, and her husband passing away around the same time as this young man's mom did. She will be helpful, I had no idea this wss happening until this evening... and his spirit did seem hurt tonight...I tried to talk to him and tell him he is a strong young man, for having to go through so much so young.. and that he didn't deserve to be treated in such a way by anyone.

March 27, 2009
5:42 pm
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Healing.. and peace

That is indeed a very sad story about that young man. I feel for the brutalized as well as brutalizing father too. Can you imagine what his father must have been through? The sins of the father being passed down through the sons for six generations? Is that what the bible says? Though not quite as brutal as in your story, this kind of mucho-man crap has been coming down through generations of my family. To a large extent I was a victim of this kind of upbringing myself.

Yesterday I went to the funeral of a girl who at the pinnacle of her career had a brain aneurysm and was brain dead within minutes. She was deeply in love with a wonderful guy and was only two months into the "honeymoon period". This young 30 year old married guy, a father himself, whom I've met only about 3 or 4 times, came over and gave me a big hug. I tried to hug him back - but I felt yukky. I never hugged my father ever!!! Of course I didn't offend this wonderful, loving, well reared young guy. I just made a joke of my own discomfort and everyone laughed. That lightened the moment a little in what was a very sad occasion.

March 27, 2009
5:58 pm
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Tez,

It bothers me so much when I hear fathers doing this to their son's. I mean what really makes a man, it isn't about making them rough, and tough.. Some of the strongest men I know can cry, they can be senitive, they can have a family and treat them in a loving and compasstionate way.

This young man last night was in a way making excuses for him but at the same time he expressed his pain and hurt of losing his mom, and how his father treats him. He told me that his father treats him like this to make him a man... and that he is the youngest of three with two older sisters, whom his father set up on a pedestal... he treats them kindly and will do anything for them, but not him because he is a male.... ugg. Having son's and daughters I just don't see his point, hurting both by treating them differantly because of their gender.

That's very sad about the girl you know that passed away. You were a good friend to be there for her husband.

Tez, you know hugging is a natural act or should be. A hug really can offer so many feelings towards another. You don't have to feel yucky at all when it comes to expressing your feelings. Hugging is such a embrassment of giving support. However, I understand you feeling strange or yucky about it when you weren't brought up with this kind of effection even from your own father, but it is sad at the same time. If I could I'd give you a big hug!

Your a kind person Tez, and I've learned a lot from you.

Thanks Healing and Peace

March 27, 2009
9:21 pm
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Healing.. and peace

You said:

"If I could I'd give you a big hug!"

((((((Healing.. and peace)))))

That's my cyber-hug to and from you.

March 28, 2009
3:30 pm
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Hm, awww, now everyone's giving each other hugs and kisses. Quite a different atmosphere from 3 days ago, lol. Ahhh, I want to say a lot more but for the sake of peace I wont. All the ganging up stopped and everything calmed down when authorities arrived on the scene.

Anyhow. I will continue speaking my mind in the most civil manner but will also try to stay away from those who get destabilized, irritated and angered very easily.

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