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no such thing as safe sex today
December 20, 2003
7:31 pm
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Zinnie
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Personally, I think each person, both male and female should take responsibility for their own security.

Men have fewer options (I said this here before but on another thread) than women. They can either have a vasectomy, which will only prevent pregnancy, or they can wear a condom.

Woman have other options. They can take pills, the mini-pill, shots, patch, creams, gels, diaphragm, IUD's, female condoms, condoms for a man with additional "features" to give her more pleasure, and worst case scenario the morning after pill.

These options are out there for all, yet is seems that people are too lazy or careless to use them. Like we have said "it will never happen to me" - but of course, it can and it does.

Also, think about it. Sure, men have to pay child support - legally, but do they? No. Too many times they don't, and too many times they don't try to see the kids or include them in their lives. But, yet, they will go out and have more.

Just a sad state all around.

Molly, your comment although you were being flippant, was funny, and TRUE.

Z.

December 22, 2003
11:37 am
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arwen
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I agree with many things that are being stated here. I guess my "bone" is that message that women should be responsible for carrying condoms and knowing how to put them on a man. Now, as a sensible person, I can see the benefit of this. And as a sensible person I also can say "Hey, if the guy knows how to put on his socks and shoes, he ought to be responsible enough to put on a condom!"

There are two sides to everything--actually, usually there are many sides! Most issues are 3 dimensional with complex geometry--not two dimensional--where one is forced to choose either one side or the other.

I rather enjoy taking an issue and looking at it from a variety of angles. It makes my life a little more interesting, especially when I feel I need to be distracted from "me"...

Arwen

December 23, 2003
5:06 pm
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gingerleigh
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What about monogamy as an option? Doesn't stop pregnancy, but it sure would stop the spread of disease, wouldn't it?

Ha, I'm a fine one to talk... not throwing stones from my little glass house down here, honestly! But philosophically speaking, I wonder if some of the social mores around stuff like no sex before marriage, no cheating on spouses, etc. are there for a reason, or is it just coincidence?

December 24, 2003
2:55 pm
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Cici
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They are there because society needs some tool to reign in the animalistic behavior of the human being. Irregardless of social prohibitions, people still retain the sexual impulse - and engage in some perversions that other people would find repulsive. Group sex, for instance, doesn't appeal to me, but there are whole clubs dedicated to that very thing.

Like I said, the government actually is a proponent of abstinence before marriage only sex education programs. We've all seen how successful a tactic it is to simply HOPE that one day children and teens and college-aged students will learn to not have sex with more than one partner, har har har.

I wish I had known I could get an STD that could give me cancer, though. That would have given me pause. And in actuality, it wasn't until a few weeks after I was diagnosed with cancer that I regretted having multiple sex partners.

December 24, 2003
9:05 pm
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Molly
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GL, there are no coincidences, har har har.... Sorta like the rules about eating pork perhaps ? No pun intended. I get sick when I try to eat it, and its nothing like the times that the rules were made, makes you go hummmmm? Humans just don't seem to do real good with this free will thing. I was once upon a time so opposed to censor ship, but today I see the impact of some of the media. Funny I bought a book published in 1923 titled Enemy of our Youth, it focused on the Motion Picture Industry,Gambling, and Pornography, and its amazing. Here we are 8 decades later, and I am sure the author was laughed at, but all that he predicted has become truth. Terrorist's have made movies come true, pervision is now considered normal, ugh hello, what really is perversion today ? On our clinic survey under gender, we had M, F, MTF, FTM, or OTHER ??????? Please check one. Ten points for the correct answer for MTF, and FTM, and what the hell could other be ? Here is a clue,not on the other, we are still confused. I have a book to tell me how to politically correct address a transgendered person, if they are a MTF, I let them go to the girls bathroom, with out any issue.I am to address them as female, and there ya go. Hmmm give the option of a male or female condom ? I shouldn't joke, and no offense intended to those that are MTF, or FTM's. This is simply for awareness of change in our society, disclaimer... Molly

Cici--------- big clue, when you said paused, you still would have had multiple partners, no doubt. Just like most others. I wouldn't waste my time beating my self up over it, which I am hopeful that you are not, and move on more wisely. I have in the past bragged regarding my virtue, my number of partners is real low in this day and age, however, Sybil was a tramp, a male tramp, self admitted, during a period of time, ... so where did that leave me ? I can remember discussing Herpes, he said every one had it, I didn't, yet I moved foreward...Of course that conversation was after the episode--s, I should get a blood test, I wondered, and feared, yet did I , have I ??? No. Have I had sex with some one since him, yes..... With another male tramp, or is that just hippy, and did I have sex again, yes... recently with another self admitted male tramp.............Ok, that is three partners in 20 years, low numbers considering, however all three are self admitted tramps. That is why women are the number one right now for STD's.Consider the number combinations, its damn scarey. We don't need hope we need facts, and got the blood test last week.

December 25, 2003
3:45 am
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Zinnie
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It amazes me when I look back at my past and I think "I did that?"

I look at my kids, and some thing my oldest son said today gave me pause. Now, keep in mind - his Father was 20 years older than me, which makes me... only ten years older than him. Because of that, there were things that the kids felt more at ease discussing with me than either or their parents.

He told me "I remember when I started dating, and you told me, unless you are really ready to take full responsibility, financially and physically of a child - wear a condom. Unless you want to live with the risk of one day dying due to one night of a good time - wear a condom." He told me today "I have only been with two women, one is my wife; the other was a mistake. Thanks for making sure I spent the money on a box of condoms."

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