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Needing GOD's Help
February 28, 2009
7:08 pm
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theseekerwithin
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Hi all,
I was on another thread with issues of homosexual problems. I am trying to get out of a homosexual relationship of 2yrs. We are both backsliding Christians that should know better when it comes to these subjects of immorality. We are very close to each other in alot of ways besides being attracted to each other sexually. When we met,we had no idea that we would get involved so deeply in so many ways. We sit and have deep conversations on all types of matters,we support each other with painful reminders from both of our past. We both come from disfunctional families. We both know that it's wrong to be in a homosexual relationship but, we are unable/or maybe unwilling to make the first steps to living a Godly life. We've spoken to the 700 club,pastors,read the Bible passages that shun homosexuality,talked to counselors,but it doesn't make it any easier to make the break you know.
We know we both need to leave the relationship/friendship at least for a season until we are both healed,to get the help we need through GOD to break these chains that bind us together.
Today we discused seeking out professional guidance from counselor,and any organizations locally that deal with comming out of homosexuality, so far there is only 1 place that seems to be running a program that addresses these same sex issues. the place is called "courage". We both need to have support from people that will incourage us to do the right thing to leave this painful lifestyle. Neither one of us ever asked to be GAY,I don't know what causes this to occur, maybe the fact that we came from families that didn't show us real love in holding us,telling us that we are unconditionally loved,by making us feel secure by the protection that our parents were supposed to do. My parents were very abusive. My mother & Father were both alcoholics,mentally,physically & verbally abusive. They never told me they loved me. I was sexually molested from 4yrs. old and upwards to my adult life.I drank,did drugs,had multiple sex partners etc. you get the picture.
My friend and I have had religous backgrounds, but mine were multiple believing religions: Mormon,Jahovoa wittness,budist,spiritualist,and Christian. I've heard alot from so many beliefs that it's hard to stick to one. The one that has given me the most gratification,is Christian, so..I'm looking to find a church that is right for me. I feel that if Incan surrender my soul/spirit over to GOD,I will be able to get the closure needed to finally get out of this homosexual sin forever,and maybe as one minister said to me "You have a ministry already, with alot of gifts that people need ministering to". I'm not worthy of her words yet! Who knows.......someday maybe I'll help someone get out of this life too! Only GOD knows the answer to that.

February 28, 2009
7:30 pm
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Here's something you probably werent expecting to hear:

I'm an athiest and I'm gonna say that there's nothing wrong with homosexuality. I couldnt watch the two guys kissing in Brokeback mountain but that doesnt mean I cant tolerate it or that I hate them. People have the right to be whatever sexual orientiation they want to be and I have no problem with it at all. Its just not what I like myrself.

It would be too much for me to ask you to leave religion and become an athiest like I did but I thought I'd try. You know one of the reasons why I stopped believing in God? Religion has rules - dont eat that, dont eat this. Dont do this, dont do that. I thought "I should be able to eat a trashcan if I want to, why would God be offended?"

And so on until I was agnostic for a long time and now I'm pretty much an athiest.

I'm going to say that you and your partner are just fine being homosexuals. There's nothing wrong with it but in the end believe in whatever makes you happy. Thats the most important thing.

February 28, 2009
10:36 pm
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soofoo
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Seeker,

God loves you and God made you gay. You deserve to be loved and supported and so does your partner. You are not gay due to abuse or neglect.

There are gay Christian churches out there. You needn't stifle your nature to worship God. Please love yourself as He loves you. Respect the heart that He gave you.

Try this link:

http://www.gaychurch.org/Find_.....church.htm

February 28, 2009
10:44 pm
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theseekerwithin- I think you have a beautiful relationship with your partner and are lucky in many ways. Did you ever think finding a church, religion, that supports your beliefs and values and makes you feel good about yourself?

February 28, 2009
11:42 pm
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(((Theseekerwithin))), I can't relate to how it's to be gay in a culture that suppresses sexuality in general, and one that insists on perfection every minute of ones life and little room for humanness. I grew up Christian but I'm now Baha'i. This issue is constantly discussed in an attempt to understand, it's context and similarity within this culture, how to embrace it. Even in this Faith that is in principal, embracing of all of humanity, we struggle with this issue.

However, the Baha'i Faith, homosexuality in terms of attraction to same sex gender isn't a sin. To realize that you are gay isn't sinful, because love between souls is genderless. In fact, it's considered a burden the likes of which many of us wouldn't understand. What is considered sinful, which is the same for heterosexual individuals is, sex outside of marriage. This is a new issue for many communities regardless of religion. Only in North America, Europe, and maybe Australia, is this conversation even possible.

The greatest of all sins, that is likened to murder, in the Baha'i Faith, is backbiting. This alone causes disunity and can affect the peace and harmony in of a community. Next to that one is having a sin seeing eye. Given that we are all on our own individual journeys, with independent relationship with the creator, we have no business looking at each other and declaring sin on one another. In addition to all this, you have absolutely no obligation to confess to anyone about what you are struggling with, to gain approval, acceptance and forgiveness. No one has the capacity to do that but God.

It's also important to understand in what context the Biblical Verses, which aren't many, was written, to understand how this relates to you today.For example:

1. SODOMITES » A proverbial term of reproach applied to those who practiced sodomy (ritual homosexuality) (Deuteronomy 23:17; 1 Kings 14:24;15:12;22:46; 2 Kings 23:7; Job)

This is just my opinion, all these verses are referring to flagrant and ritualistic practice of sodomy, there is no hint an internal struggle, no identity crisis, no love or relationship involved. in Biblical terms the word Sodomy and homosexuality are interchangeable.

Romans 1:24-28 (New International Version)...

Again, in this passage, there is clear indication that the individuals forwent their NATURAL inclinations for unnatural ones. This is why I think that people who are this way naturally, do not fall into this category. They have struggles to overcome, and in the Baha'i Faith they are required to live a chaste life, just like unmarried heterosexuals are required. Being gay has no effect on their participation in every aspect of the community. In fact, they are encouraged to participate as much as possible so that they may experience the love and comfort of God and learn to accept and live a chaste life.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (New International Version)

In this verse, homosexuality is put in the same category as other flagrant and intentional acts of immorality, many of which we do not get all worked up over, but this is besides the point. My point is that the individuals referred to here, sound like they are choosing to rebel against their

February 28, 2009
11:59 pm
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fantas
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..oops, clicked too fast.

There is intention to rebel. If you are this way from when you can remember, I think you fall in a different category, and very few us who haven't experienced it can understand it let alone judge it. We no longer call alcoholics or drug addicts sinners, because we now understand that neurologically, they are wired differently than others. There was a time they were seen as demonic.

I feel that we need to be very careful judging ourselves and others in these matters based on a generic one size fits all yard stick. We aren't all the same. Jesus although bound by the Judaic laws, often chose to overlook them if it meant the safety, love, healing, of an individual. If He did that, and he was the fulfillment of the Laws, then who are we to be so judgmental and exclusionary of people who we do not even know, let alone judge their morals.

I think you need to tell yourself some truths about your homosexual lifestyle. Is this something you've had all your life, or are you just rebelling against against what everyone calls normal? Are you doing all you can do, to the best of your ability to be 'normal', if so, you should be very okay with yourself. But more importantly, converse with God, not to tell Him what he needs to do, but in a spirit of surrender. Regardless of what in your background caused this to happen, it is. Ask Him to help you be okay with yourself, to put in your path those that will offer you comfort instead of judgment, medical, spiritual, and all kinds of assistance that He wills you to have. Ask for the strength to persevere and stay content in all things.

Even at the cross, Jesus, asked to be relieved of that which He knew He must do. He asked for God's will to happen but He also expressed His wishes. In my very limited understanding, this could be perceived as a metaphor for our greatest struggles. Ask for God's will to be, but express your honest desires, as well. To do that, you need to take a moment and get in touch with your inner self. Once you do that, have faith and stay content.

All this except the direct quotes from the Word of God is my opinion and has no authority whatsoever.... Hope there is something you can use 😉

March 1, 2009
12:26 pm
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It's the age old debate..but homosexuality is NOT a choice! You were created as such. By the creator of the universe!!! Whether you choose to acknowledge that part of you is a choice..but you will never experience true freedom in your life and peace in your soul until you do. I speak from personal experience in this matter. The world is always going to judge you for something. Many well-meaning so called "Christians" will shame you and pass their judgement while ignoring the plank in their own eye and closing their minds and hearts to what homosexuality is all about. When i acknowledged who I was..i truly became a better, more compassionate, open minded and understanding Christian than I had ever been! Yes the two can go hand in hand and anyone who tells you different will have to answer to it in the end. No one, including me, can tell you what to do with your life. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. But dont be ashamed of who God created you to be. You are YOU, a unique and special individual. Your sexuality is a part of you but does not define you anymore than a heterosexual's does. Seek out people who love and accept you as you are. Wishing you peace and freedom.

March 1, 2009
3:35 pm
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fantas
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oopdaisy, I couldn't agree more. The truth always sets us free. We are what we are and there is nothing sinful about that!

March 1, 2009
7:07 pm
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theseekerwithin
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I want to thank all who had input into my situation.I've always known I was different from alot of people in more ways than one. I've always felt ashamed of being gay, because society frowns on it. At this point I feel that I will be the person I've always been,ask GOD for forgivness of my sins,ask him to guide me into the path I am meant to walk on ,and leave the rest of my issues up to HIM to deal with me in the end times. Every one of us has our own opinions on life,and who knows what is right from wrong,we have to feel the convictions from within to find the right way /wrong way to exhist in harmony with nature. GOD knows my heart/soul/spirit and HE is the only one I /we have to answer to,when the final days come to pass.

Bless ALL of you for your input. It has been greatly appreciated. I will find another subject to discuss in these threads,as I enjoy toe feedbacks
Have a wonderful life!!;)

March 1, 2009
9:05 pm
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fantas
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(((Seeker))), More power to you!!! All the best!!

March 2, 2009
12:44 pm
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Hi Seeker,

One of the best things we can do is to pray for each other. So here is my prayer for you both.

Father in heaven, I pray that you give both Seeker, and her loved one, guidance and peace. Please speak to them both on the direction they need to take. Please have them both learn to acknowledge you first. Please have them surrender their life's to you.
I ask that they your will be done in this situation. That it is made clear to them both, how you want them to handle things.

If it be your will Lord, please keep your hand of protection over this friendship. I pray that you turn it into a GODLY relationship, that is good in your sight. That it is used to help others going through similar situations, to your Glory.

I pray healing, for both of them. I pray that they use anytime apart from each other to draw nearer to you. I pray that you comfort each one of them, for the loss of there loving relationship. I pray that you ease there pain.

Father, Thank you in advance for this answered prayer.

May God Bless you as you stay true to him.

Love and Light,
tb

March 3, 2009
2:11 pm
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seeker,

I am sorry to hear that you are still struggling with this misguided guilt about being Gay. The only thing that you need pray for here is the ability to accept yourself as GOD created you. The FREAKS on the 700 club are there to make money and try to prolong an outdated idealology that was created by MEN to keep MEN in control; the ultimate ego trip.

GOD created this Universe and you and me (a Gay man) equally. The old church was set-up by power hungery men who wanted money and control. The Bible was written, mostly, by these same men.

GOD didn't screw up where you and your partner are concerned! Your family, or whoever taught you shame, is who screwed up.

I AM SO PROUD OF MY FRIENDS HERE!! READING THEIR RESPONSES TO YOU ALMOST MADE ME CRY (except Terriberry, and I don't know what the hell that was about?)

You realize that there are more references in the Bible that say you don't have equal rights as a woman, and crazy things about stoning your children at the gates of the city if they don't obey, than there are about sexuality. So why is it that folks focus on Homosexuality?

Not so many years ago black folks were considered as a race of people who were cast out and that there skin was dark as some form of punishment... crazy!... by some of those 700 Club fanatics.

The only sin here, if any, is that you are not honoring the life God gave you.

GOD loves you the way you are....

Cary

March 3, 2009
2:23 pm
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hi theseekerwithin, I hope you find your way - whatever leads you to more inner peace and satisfaction. Thats the most important thing.

I find the subject of gay relationships very interesting, you know why? I feel that to really understand relationships, the gender variable has to be taken out. This means studying relationships between lesbians and gay couples. That would teach us how relationships between people of different genders exist. I wont bother you though, I might register on a gay forum and ask people that.

Many generations and decades have to pass until gay/lesbian relationships will be as equally accepted in society as heterosexual relationships. In history as you know, engaging in a homosexual relationship was a death sentence and women couldnt even think of having a lesbian relationship.

I'm glad most people are giving a positive response to your question. Thats a good sign for the rest of the society too. It just takes time for this stuff to sort out and for society to become more and more sane, open minded and tolerant of individual choices.

March 3, 2009
5:55 pm
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I am a Christian but I will tell you to be true to who you are. I have a 22 year old nephew who is openly gay. I am so proud of him for finding himself early. I am proud of his mother for treating the boyfriend just like she treats my niece's boyfriend. I wish more gay people could have the love and acceptance right away that my nephew is experiencing.

I think what screws most of us up is trying to conform to what we have been told we should be.

All the best to you

Bitsy

March 4, 2009
11:11 pm
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Caraway- I will say A MEN TO THAT!

March 5, 2009
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Seeker.

I am trying to decide what to say to you because I TRULY do not want to offend you. I donot want to tell you you are wrong for believing that acting on your desire to bein a gay relationship is sinful, because it seems you TRULY believe that and it is not my place to tell you you are wrong.

But I will say this, I believe with all my heart that denying who you are will causeyou MORE pain than trying to sort out GOD while being true to yourself.

I can say this, because I KNOW.

I was raised catholic, very religious, and coming to terms with my sexuality and reconciling that with my thoughts about GOD had caused me great pain. But trying to live as a straight person, or as a "chaste" or "celebate" person simply because that is what somebody told me God wants me to be has caused me FAR GREATER pain.

Seeker, it sounds like the relationship that you share with your partner is one filled with love, with companionship, with respect and understanding and support. There are so many people on this site that would give ANYTHING for a relationship as PURE and as BEAUTIFUL and as LOVING as that. You are blessed, but because of the fear and shame that you have been indoctrinated into, you feel you are cursed. That is so very very sad.

I to was molested and abused as a child. I thought that was why I was gay. But then I realised, the statistics say that 1 in 4 girls are raped or abused, that is 25% of the female population. Yet only 6 percent of male and female americans are homosexual. If being molested made people gay, then there would be alot more gay people. The numbers just don't add up. Abuse doesn't make us gay. We just ARE this way.

If you truly believe that you need to be straight, or at least celebate, to be loved and accepted by God, then I pray for your sake that you are strong enough to "overcome" your "demons".

But evenmore so, I pray that you will grow to see that God loves and accepts you for who you are, and that you are able to LOVE that person beside you and COUNT your blessings, and give thanks for a beautiful relationship filled with LOVE and Passion and Friendship. And I pray that you can love your self.

F2C

March 10, 2009
9:37 pm
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God is accepting and tolerant of everybody. It's people that aren't.

peace

March 11, 2009
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Tree_hugs,

You wrote: "God is accepting and tolerant of everybody." Even those who dont believe in him?

"Thou shalt not bow down to their gods, nor serve them, nor do after their works: but thou shalt utterly overthrow them, and quite break down their images." Exodus, 23:24

Do you think the above is proof that God is tolerant of everybody?

See more great quotes from the Bible on intolerance. The other holy books are no different. Quran actually is more intolerant. Buddhism too is intolerant:

“It is a mistake to regard this world as either a temporal world or as a real one. But ignorant people of this world assume that this is a real world and proceed to act upon that absurd assumption. But as this world is only an illusion, their acts, being based on error, only lead them into harm and suffering. A wise man, recognizing the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it were real, so he escapes the suffering” (The Teaching of Buddha p. 112).

So Buddha said that anyone who thinks the World is real, is ignorant and their ideas are absurd. Thats also not being tolerant, although it is much better than what other religions think of non-believers.

March 11, 2009
10:28 am
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oops the link to the verse didnt come out right.

March 11, 2009
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g_g

i don't think God of the exodus passage you used is intolerant as much as He is jealous.

here's an example: "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you”

now a question: why is everyone in this age of tolerance so intolerant of Christianity?

grace and peace

March 11, 2009
6:00 pm
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You didnt see the other half of the verse:

- "Thou shalt not bow down to their gods, nor serve them, nor do after their works: but thou shalt utterly overthrow them, and quite break down their images." Exodus, 23:24

Tonnes of similiar verses in the Bible.

>> now a question: why is everyone in this age of tolerance so intolerant of Christianity?

Good question, well, I'll give you my reason: athiests are the least trusted minority in America. Thats why.

March 11, 2009
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so i'm suppose to trust your reason? just kidding.

yes, "Ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves." God's a jealous God and doesn't put up with rivals. that's not difficult to understand.

read Ex. 20:4-5. that's where 23:24 came from.

grace and peace

March 11, 2009
7:34 pm
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"Tree_hugs,

You wrote: "God is accepting and tolerant of everybody." Even those who dont believe in him?"

Yes, guest. Even those who don't believe in him.

Even you.

peace

March 11, 2009
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Bereft, you asked why, in this age of "tolerance" is everyone so intolerant of Christianity.

I think the answer to that is pretty simple.

"Christianity" is reaping what it has sewn.

Extreme Conservatism and Fundamentalist Christianity has led to the alienation, persecution, and condemnation of alot of people. That, along with the combination of extreme self-righteousness and hypocracy that permeates Christianity and Christian peotple, serves to inspire discontent, intolerance, and outright venom directed at Christianity and Christians from alot of secular or agnostic/athiest people.

When Christians, and Christianity itself, decides to drop the pretense, loose the self-righteous judgmental attitude, and discontinue it's persecution and oppression of other people and belief systems, then maybe people will bemore tolerant.

I see the backlash against modern Christianity as a direct consequense of the actions of most Christians and Christian religions, mostly motivated by frustration, hurt, and dislike as a defense mechanism.

March 12, 2009
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Bereft

>> God's a jealous God

Yes, and an angry one too.

tree_hugs, well.. the verse I quoted suggests otherwise:

F2c, nice response there! Exactly right.

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