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Nader.....
September 4, 2004
10:43 am
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workinonit
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I wondered what happened to this thread. I wanted to talk to you Nader.

If I remember correctly we were discussing if our choice of partners and current life problems can reflect our parents efforts to raise us. Something like that...

Nader, I would think you might have abandonment issues as well as trouble communicating. At least that is what those life experiences say to me. I recently had an experience at an interfaith church I attend now and then. The leader held a meditation and we were told to think of a time as a child when you needed love and support and be there for yourself as an adult. Wow what an experience!! I approached my little girl self and held her telling her she was loved and special and precious, just like I would another child. Tears were flowing but I wasn't sobbing. It was one of the truest releases I ever had and this issue has not bothered me since.

Now that is one issue and a fairly smalll one in comparison to some but hey , it's worth a try.

September 7, 2004
3:22 pm
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Nader
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Twinks & Workin',

I appreciate you guys remembering my thread.

But, Istill don't understand why my childhood would have an impact on the women that I attract.

I read in one of the other threads that some people need a challange in relationships and when it stops being a challange that's when they break it off.

Are these women I date that type of person and my personallity eventually turns them off, because grow into this loving and caring person they don't want??????????????????????????

September 7, 2004
8:43 pm
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workinonit
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Nader, maybe you need to reflect on what you received as a child. Then maybe you can determine what you need and why you are attracting the same type of person.

I know I am only now figuring this out. But, it doesn't mean I know what to do about it. All I know is, as soon as I am attracted to someone I know it is bringing on another lesson in the same way. I only wish it would change.

September 8, 2004
9:00 am
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Nader
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I don't think I come across as needy.
It seems to me like, that the women that I attract, like my aunt says just want to play at first. Then they figure out what type of person I am. They find out that I'm for real. They want a f**k buddy at first, then they fall for me and then it scares them off. I'm not saying I'm GODS gift to women, I consider myself modest. I just can't figure it out. It seems all of them are the same. They always make the first move even on the first date. I'm not saying that I have a problem with that, but it seems that is the pattern. And at my age and as long as I've been divorced I'm ready to get serious.
As far as my childhood having to do with my relationships, I'm not sure.
When I meet these people I'm just being me, I'm putting on a aire and pretending to be what I'm not. I'm who I am at the begining and at the end. Maybe I'm looking for love in all the wrong places. The point is I'm not looking, I wasn't looking with this last one. I JUST CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!!! DAZED AND CONFUSED!!

September 8, 2004
1:55 pm
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Nader
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Twinks,

I was married 13 years, I've been divorced 9 years. I have two beautiful children, daughter 21 and son 17.

I think we just grew apart. I really didn't figure out what my ex was about until about two years ago. She would be nice to me one moment and the next moment she would try to stab me in the back.

I think alot of it was communication. I still call my buddies when I was in the military and they tell me now that they could not stand her. I would ask them why they didn't tell me then. THey said it was out of respect for me. Their wives couldn't stand her either. I guess love can be blind.

September 9, 2004
8:58 pm
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workinonit
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Well, twinks, I guess you know I agree with this. I mean, lets face it..we are the sum total of all our experiences.

So Nader, with this in mind, of course you are colored by your childhood experiences. It makes each of us unique, like it or not.

It seems to me you are attracted to women who are not serious about relationship. These same women see you as the proverbial bad boy type..you probably give off the aura...and they are shocked when you want more from them. They thought you were going to give it to them and you confuse them. Only a thought process guys...that's all.

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