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My final post-by alicenwonderland
August 18, 2008
9:31 am
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alicenwonderland
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Dearest Friends,

I have recently been led to believe that I know one of the other posters here on the site. While I am not 100% sure, I am sure enough that it warrants me leaving. Even if I am wrong about this person’s real identity, even the smallest chance that I am not is enough to know that it is very dangerous for both us of if I stay. I will be inhibited from speaking freely and without fear and they also would be so inhibited. It could change my view of this person forever or them of me. It could cause me to interact differently with them and for their sake as much as for my own, I simply feel it best that I “bow out gracefully.” I care about both myself and them enough to make the tough decision to leave.

I don’t know if this person has recognized me, but there is a strong likelihood that they have. I am pretty open here. Please don’t think that this person has said or done anything to me or that has broken any of the rules here (nor have I). I have never even mentioned this site or the fact that I do post online to anyone so I know that they did not “follow” me here or are here to spy on me (or me on them). I simply recognize their words, their expressions, and their experiences and as such, I am sure that they could easily also recognize mine. I believe it is nothing more than mere happenstance that we are both here.

I considered taking on another persona and staying, but I also felt that very unfair to the other person for me to do that. Staying and not actually posting was another option I considered, but morally I just couldn’t do it. It would be like peeping through someone else’s window without them knowing that I am there. Clint Eastwood said it best in “Paint Your Wagon”…”There ain’t nothin’ worse than a woman with morals.” It seems all my life my morals have always lead me to lose something that I care for, but being who I am, I still have to do the right thing. Somehow, it just doesn’t seem fair.

So, it is with a truly broken heart that I must leave. I know this is for the best, but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to do it. You have all given me so much and have truly been a source of comfort and understanding that I have never before found. I finally feel like I belong somewhere so leaving is more difficult for me than words can express. I feel like I am moving away and I am staring out the back glass of the car watching as my best friend slips quietly into the horizon. I know I have to go, but it doesn’t ease the pain of my going. I just feel I have to be the bigger person here because I do not feel like in staying that I am being true to the values of this site.

This will be my final visit to the site. I have asked the site coordinator to delete my account and in addition I have someone standing outside my door waiting to block this site from my computer. I fear that I may be too tempted to return without these measures.

Thank you all so much for making me feel so welcome, for the kindness and the warmth that you have all shown me, and for the many great conversations and insights that we have shared. Forever will they live in my heart and my spirit. I have printed a few of my favorite posts to keep with me for the times when my road becomes rocky and know that you will not be forgotten. May you all find all the happiness, joy, comfort, and peace that you each so richly deserve. Again, thank you for all that you have given me these last few months and for sharing this leg of my journey with me. It has been wonderful company.

-Alicenwonderland

August 18, 2008
4:51 pm
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soofoo
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alice
I think you should stay. I was (more than once) convinced that I knew someone on this site and freaked out about it. I was wrong both times. I know this because I stuck around long enough to find out that I was wrong.

Just my 2 cents, though it seems it's after the fact.

Back through the looking glass you go! Bye, bye!

August 18, 2008
4:58 pm
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soofoo
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alice
I think you should stay. I was (more than once) convinced that I knew someone on this site and freaked out about it. I was wrong both times. I know this because I stuck around long enough to find out that I was wrong.

Just my 2 cents, though it seems it's after the fact.

Back through the looking glass you go! Bye, bye!

August 18, 2008
5:26 pm
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Longshot
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I've thought about that very thing too.

However, Alice, I so hope they didn't get the site blocked, and you happen to look for this thread again. It's just the freedom you've found to get to openly share, well I think you should keep it. Even if they do know you. We all know the rules, and abide by them, so you could still share openly, they could share openly and stay anonymous.

Anyway, I do hope you somehow get to see the encouragement from me:)

((()))

August 18, 2008
7:05 pm
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truthBtold
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(((Alice)))

Of course, you must do what you feel you must.

Just know that I will miss you alot!

I am saddened to hear of your decision, but I respect it.

I always have looked forward to reading something from you because I know that it will be well thought out and helpful and honest.

You light will most certaintly be sorely missed.

All the sincerest best wishes to and for you!!!!!!!

((((Alice))))

August 19, 2008
3:38 pm
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Giggles_29
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((((Alice)))) WOW I am sorry you are leaving the site. However, only you know what's best for you to do for YOU! Please just know your advice and words of wisdom will be missed here!!! You always have such in depth and honest input. I admire you for that.
Please do what you need to do, but know we will all miss you here!!!
@--]----- Giggles

August 19, 2008
3:39 pm
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Giggles_29
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((((Alice)))) WOW I am sorry you are leaving the site. However, only you know what's best for you to do for YOU! Please just know your advice and words of wisdom will be missed here!!! You always have such in depth and honest input. I admire you for that.
Please do what you need to do, but know we will all miss you here!!!
@--]----- Giggles

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