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MsG:::::
June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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Hi
Hep.

I can take an
opposing opinion I just can't take......never mind. ;0)
ahahaha

Here's my remedy.
The X went kinda kookoo a few days ago so when i finally managed to
contact my son ( Thursday Morn) i put him to work. Yanked him out
of bed and basically let him know he's not going to sink into
idleness and just let things slide or continue his power struggle
with his dad. He won't take his Fathers "authority" but he'll take
mine!

It maty sound weid
but when he makes mistakes, and his father tries to intervene it
snowballs into pure adversary with my son holding up his dads
failures ( lead by example not words) All of his childhood
resentments come out. The X will never change.

I needed some help
with some extras so he worked with me the last 2 days and we
talked. It was like all his secrets ( he's been VERY quiet the last
2 months, I knew something was up but???) were revealed and a
weight was lifted and he started communicating again.

He's burnt out
from HS. No use repeating next term so i told him he must make up
his 2 credits at Summer School.

He's not going to
his Dads this weekend( to avoid the Chaos and certain friends
dropping in) so he stays on track til he registers on
Monday.

Step one, then
getting his career figured out and work.

We'll just have to
see what happens.

Keep posting about
your sons "progress". It will take time for him to leave his GF,
but when he does I think he'll start climbing out of his hole. The
people were around and NOT around make a huge
difference.

That's about it
for now. Heading out to work.

Be
Well!

June 26, 2010
12:00 am
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Hepburn
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Hey
MsG, Your remedy? I likey!

When I see my son
for more then a few minutes, he always ends up spilling his guts
about something. You were right not to push yours into talking. I
am grateful (and I'm sure you are too) that my son WILL talk to me
eventually. When I have pushed it in the past, he clams
up.

Conquering one
battle at a time too, is the only way to do it.

I am trying to
instill in my daughter now the importance of who she hangs out
with. It is very important and something that my parents didn't
bother with. She's the easy one though. I am so grateful for
THAT.

Well, my son made
the calls and found his own insurance for his car. And he's paying
for it himself too!

You're doing GOOD
MsG! (Proper english not used on purpose).

Love,

Hep

June 27, 2010
12:00 am
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marypoppins
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Hey
to MsG, Craigco, Bevdee, and Hep! I am posting today, so I wanted
to check in with you, MsG, say "Hey" back to Craigco, tell you,
Bevdee, how happy I am to see you posting again, and thank you,
Hep, for always being so supportive to everyone. As I posted
before, MsG, your thread is an example of healthy friendship, in my
opinion. I wish all of you the best and thank you for sharing with
and supporting one another. It gives me hope. I wish I could join
in, but I don't think it's a secure site for me anymore. But I
still read and you all have my support. Mary

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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Hi
((marypoppins))

Thx for caring and
the compliments about friendship.

I miss your input
Mary, but you manage to insert some zingers when they're needed.
;0)

I am TRYING!One
thing i never did in the past is make my friends accountable for
how they treat ME! BUT i have to be careful what I deam is
important. It comes down to trust and understanding WHERE they are
coming from, AND do i really matter to them? Ah! I don't want to go
into a long post.

I'm mainly reading
and stepping back in calm. I need to reflect right now about LIFE
and my actions.

Lately there are
some good threads and discussion to keep or get me back on track
with my recovery.

That means not
reacting and withdrawing completely into some of the more negative
aspects of my personality ( anger, pride, criticism)

I'm VERY happy
(((bevdee))) is back too.

I spent Sunday at
my Dads B-Day. There was no conflict and my sis had NO attitude
aimed my way nor i hers. Dad made a point he was happy i was there
in his speach. He thanked my sister and her partner for all their
ongoing help. I still have a lot to process.

Everyone was on
their best behaviour. ( My parents always had good
friends)

Cept my brother
just looked at me, didn't make a move, so i just blocked him out
the whole time.My brother is a MAJOR problem.

Get this! My
OLDEST bro was there and made an early exit.

His last statement
before he left was " gotta go , Remember everyone 911 WAS AN INSIDE
JOB!""

ahahahaha. U all
think I'm bad?

Be Well!
(((ALL)))

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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MsG,
It seems you and I are the early risers today. I am glad everything
seems to be working out with your son and that things went well
with your dad. Anyway, I was just popping in to see how you're
doing.

Bitsy

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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Hepburn
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Hi
Mary!

I echo MsG's
sentiments. I always look forward to reading your posts. You
contribute so much when you do post. I'll take ya when I can get
ya!

Glad to hear
things went well at your dad's MsG. Geez, I can see where your
older brother is a force to be reckoned with. Btw, you're not that
bad.

I hear you about
friends being accountable....

Love,

Hep

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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Hi
Bitsy and Hep!

Here's one of my
favourite songs, written and peformed by some VERY talented, smart
young men in L.A.

Lyrics to 11 A.M.
Incubus

seven a.m., the
garbage truck beeps as it backs up and I start my day thinking
about what I've thrown away. Could I push rewind? The credits
traverse signifying the end but I missed the best part. Could we
please go back to start?

Forgive my
indecision

Then again, you're
always first when no one's on your side. But then again, a day will
come when I want off that ride.

eleven a.m., by
now you would think that I would be up but my bedsheets shade the
heat of choices I've made. And what did I find? I never thought I
could want someone so much 'cause now you're not here and I'm knee
deep in that old fear.

Forgive my
indecision... I am only a man

Then again, you're
always first when no one's on your side. But then again, a day will
come when I want off that ride.

Twelve pm and my
dusty telephone rings. Heavy head up from my pillow, who could it
be? I hope it's you..."

It's about what we
WASTE when we don't pay attention to gifts given and recieved and
what we long for in love and relationships. We won't get ou rneeds
met if we don't pay attantion and APPRECIATE others. It's about
being you're own worst enemy and depending on someone to rescue or
fill in where you lack. Sharing and the accountability that comes
with that.

"Then again you're
always first when no_ones on your side

There was a time
when i thought being alone was the best choice. It was just the
easiest for me, AND the most painful.

I'm a scapegoat to
some in my family. Not all. It isn't in my best interest to have NC
with all of them.

I just have to
take the good where it is, and set healthier boundaries with the
Bad.

I learned this
weekend my sister will accept what i contribute graciously I don't
have to do it all her way. As long as i contribute something is all
that matters. I gave my Dad a gift certificate for groceries and
gave sis some money for the catering and a bottle of wine. That's
that I don't have to press for a relationship we just don't have.
THAT is still up to her to mend.

I thought about
what i can contribute within my abilities and went a little
further.

There is a HUGE
patch of Wild Blackberries ripening on our property. Far too much
for us alone and why let them go to waste? They are SO healthy and
contain Vitamin B17 ( a cancer preventative) I knew people who have
cancer would be at that party so i picked as many berries as i
could, made a custom label and packaged them in small containers. I
handed them out to relatives and friends.

Generosity doesn't
have to be shown in $$. I gotta look at the resources i have and
use them.

My oldest Brother
apparently has cancer on his Kidneys and Diverticolitis, but he
exited the party before i had a chance to give him some
Blackberries ( he was napping in the house for a time and i was
socializing when he came outside) D spoke to him shortly but said
it was the usual "it's all about him" Hep. My oldest Brother IS a
force to contend with and he was very abusive in the past toward
me. He can't harm me now. He also puts a huge wall up and is hard
to approach. There's so many things about him that are really sick,
but he CAN'T HARM ME NOW.

My other brother
is another issue. ( a long story that i don't wish to post
now)

I just reflect as
to how much am i like them? The good and the bad.

My behaviour is
what counts. I didn't go and behave in a withdrawn manner. I
replaced the chip on my shoulder with "Blackberries"
ahahaha.

I think we're
learning to love ourselves and others in a healthier
way.

THAT'S a good
thing. Be Well!

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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When
given a choice between taking the high road and the low road it is
always better to take the high road... You took the high
road!

Bitsy

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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Bitsy. I think i did with my family but here? I don't know if i
did.

My emotions spill
out at times and tho I feel they aren't causing damage overall, I
don't like being held accountable for other posters lifelong
weakness's, or choices, just as others aren't responsible for mine.
I guess we all gotta deal with that. There was a lot of
crossposting on your Hurt thread with rising so some of it was off
mark.

Yep U got some
prime examples right there now. OH the IRONY!

The high road
isn't always accessible!LOL

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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risingfromtheashes
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ya
know....I could start...but I won't.

Call me a prime
example all you want - but I don't go around on other threads
talking about another thread (covertly) and making underhanded
comments.

ok...I wasn't
gonna but I did...and I am done.

the high road is
ALWAYS accessible if you want it bad enough.

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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andii
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oh,
oh, "hit below the belt"

as a ref streaks
by.......

"oh yes they call
her the streak - wooooo! jiggitty that jiggy......."

June 28, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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Rising. You're DONE? OH but keep reading. You just can't resist
a future opportunity to get some digs in with me.

I'm not
hiding.

You have real
control issues babe. "Don't do this or that. it's bothering me so i
want to shut you down"

I took equal
responsibility for the communication breakdown there.

Oh. BUT NOT YOU!No
humility at ALL! You are on a high road and never stray. More self
righteous BS!

So since you're
done does it mean you're not going to spy on me anymore? NOT
likely.

andii...LOL!

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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Rising. You're DONE? OH but keep reading. You just can't resist
a future opportunity to get some digs in with me.

I'm not
hiding.It's so easy cause I'm HERE!

You have real
control issues babe. "Don't do this or that. it's bothering me so i
want to shut you down."

Interesting that
it has nothing to do with a direct exchange WE had, but other
peoples AND YOU talk about how i carry unrelated conflicts to other
threads?

Making a huge
power play are we?

I took equal
responsibility for the communication breakdown between us there.
Due to crossposting.

Oh. BUT NOT YOU!No
humility at ALL!

You have obviously
held onto and allowed some resentment toward me GROW, for over a
year, up until today?!!! How many more of YOU not so anonymous?
Well U won't reveal that cause it means being accountable for this
GRUDGE ya'll are building on. Ya'll want a Lynching of some
sort?

HOLY CRAP! i see
exactly what you're doing.

You posted
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to me all this time and now this? On the hurt
thread and here?

So since you're
done does it mean you're not going to spy on me anymore? NOT
likely.

andii...LOL!

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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risingfromtheashes
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not
spying - public forum - anyone can post
anytime...period.

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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I
thought you were done?

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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risingfromtheashes
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oh -
and since I realize you just posted two similar but different
things.

you said "You have
obviously held onto and allowed some resentment toward me GROW, for
over a year, up until today".

where do you get
this from???

I only JUST
started back here in the fall - and did not know your name until
this week...I have no resentment towards you....only that you
brought up an old situation (you resurrected it) and talked about
how you were setting healthy boundaries. I did not feel what you
did was healthy at all and started discussing this past situation
because YOU opened it up in TODAY'S hurt post. I did not go into
your post and bring it up cuz I did not EVEN know it was there
until you brought it up.

no year long
resentment here...I didn't know you before all this.

I gave my opinion
of how you handled it...I am entitled to it as much as you are
entitled to not like my opinion and post your own in
return.

I didn't say I was
shutting YOU down, only that I was going to let it go. But you
continue to bait me...and I continue to bite....so be it...bad
me...still got something to learn here.

keep baiting...if
that's what you want from me...frankly, I got better things to
do.

Like I said, you
are misguided if you think I have or had a grudge against you for
over a year...I don't hold grudges, for one, and two, I never paid
any attention to your posts until now (go on, tell me that I am
saying you are irrelevent, unworthy or trite!)

you brought up how
you handled a situation, I responded. Had you not brought it up, I
never would have posted my thoughts.

one last thing -
you said "Don't do this or that. it's bothering me so i want to
shut you down." - IN QUOTES - and yet, who are you quoting? I never
said that, nor is it an accurate paraphrase. so please don't quote
it as such.

I am not going to
stalk you. I am not going to spy on you. but I AM going to continue
reading any post I see fit and post any thoughts, feelings or ideas
as I see fit. I have no grudges...and if I did, it wouldn't be
against you...I got bigger fish to fry (here I am saying you are
irrelevent again)...but I choose not to.

Just because I
have decided not to engage anymore does not mean you win or I win -
it simply means in the spirit of health and wellness, I am letting
it go. You can if you want, or you can hang on to it and keep
trying to bait me or whatever.

I AM done - and
only cuz I am determined to walk out of here with my
dignity.

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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You're making excuses for the manner of which u jumped on my
back, interfered and belittled what goes on on this
thread.

You knew the
details of what happened with SS and destiny and THAT was way
before last fall.

This thread has
over 1000 posts. Even i don't go back to check
everything.

Nobody was here to
help SS at that time 'cept Destiny. and nobody, from your so-called
group of buddies, brought it up soon after. They weren't around so
what most people do here is CALL out in a thread, to gather their
support system. You brought up SS's nicname before me and since you
weren't here ( apparently) and didn't sppeak up a long time
ago.WEREN"T INvolved whatsoever it has NOTHING to do with
you.

WHY are you doing
all of this. trying to d=sacve face NOW at my expense?

You have NO place
doing this now cept for your own sad reasons and to try and hurt me
in a far more insidious manner than i did when i told SS and Dest
to start their own thread.

I brought up and
unsolved issues with Dest now, that involved her and I, NOT
YOU!

U said you had to
run after your first post, then stuck around for numerous
others.

You said you were
done, then 2 more posts, and THIS One where you say you have better
things to do!???

Well I don't need
to be HARRASSED. and that is what you're doing.

Yea. U go fry
those BIG fish you egotistical bitch!

June 29, 2010
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MsGuided
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another thing.

Perhaps having
personal CONTACT with your friends on here is an issue
also?

I mentioned AAC
doesn't have an even playing field when older members know each
other for real. So many people here are aware of that, not just
me.this is an example of the harm you all cause including popping
up and posting a thread after a falling out. Then disappearing
again.

You all love
conflict, respond to that solely, feed it, then post some small
talk thread to save face.

U stated SS was
hurt and felt unsafe due to what i did? How would u know that if
she didn't post here, OR come back to deal with her issues
afterward? Not a single thing.

Email?

She had problems
in her life that caused her to leave, and her stalkers followed her
here. She posted it and a lot of people saw it.Then she stated she
needed to leave due to THAT, Felt unsafe because of THAT! They
weren't leaving her alone here and she wanted to repsect other
posters here.

So all that gets
downloaded onto me cause i said " I can't help you now, please
start another thread"? I don't believe u, or trust you at all when
it comes to how or why you deal with me.

Do me a favour
and KEEP your word. Be done. You invested nothing positive in me
until this??!

I think U have a
far deeper cruel streak and less humanity than i could ever stoop
down to.Even tho you read my issues, there is no
compassion.

I don't know much
about yours cept what you posted recently.

June 29, 2010
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MsGuided
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Posts about being
done by rising

June
28/10

last comment on
first post from the Hurt poeple HURT thread.

1. "gotta
run...just my two cents."

Yea. You continued
for about 3 or 4 hours (?) I guess yer really busy.

2. "Like I said, I
don't want to debate this - cuz my goal isn't to get you to agree
with me. I can't see that you would agree with me...so the only
healthy thing **I** can do is step away and let it go. I think I
have said all I can say (tho I have been known to say alot more and
may even think of more)"

you ARE
Debating..Your goal is to make me HURT, make me PAY for my
tresspasses, and admit i'm as horrobl;e as you think.Like some AAC
vigilante?! You can cover it up with verbosity, and deflect all you
want. You didn't step away at all. You did go on to debate in
length adding OTHER issues including your support group on here,
how your life is so great now. A lot of spinning to cover up the
fact YOU interfered in a manner i didn't deserve, about something
YOU weren't involved in directly, in a VETY unkind way yourself.
You say you're protecting your friends?

Since u know SS
personally why don't you confront her X BF and the people who
caused the real strife in her life? Maybe you did?

No you are seeking
a scapegoat, or target in me because i simply said "no i can't help
you" to a "friend'? AND i brought up the conflict with Destiny, who
was involved. I did it to seek clarification, seek understanding,
take responsibility for what i did and SEE how she feels. YOU
interfered in a very unhealthy way.

3."ya know....I
could start...but I won't." and u did anyway.

"Call me a prime
example all you want - but I don't go around on other threads
talking about another thread (covertly) and making underhanded
comments."

Nope I didn't do
that It's an odd thing that what happened with sd lined up with
some family issues at home. Those issues are about dealing with
being a scapegoat in my family, the anniversay of my Mothers death
is was in the same timeframe as my sisters and Dads B_Day. LOTS of
stirred up issues again these last few weeks for me. Abandonemnt,
Blame and lack of loyalty. They are about me finding my voice, not
allowing others to harm me. Switching to a more generous spirit
rather than recede into isolation, anger and bitterness. The coping
mechanisms i used to do.

The fact that
those issues played out here directly, with someone who deals with
the same Family background isn't so strange. What i did mention on
here, was in the midst of that falling out, AND she did the same
thing on other threads.

You just want to
focus on how terrible I am? you poor thing.

I really don't
mind. Problems happen on these boards and people , Lots of em, move
off and mention them elsewhere.

You need to get a
grip on your control issues, and how far you'll go to KEEP control.
IMHO.

It's not always
about winning for me. My goal is to understand.

"ok...I wasn't
gonna but I did...and I am done. "

Third time you're
done. and you're back here AGAIN with more of your crap. You flip
flop all over the place, one upping anything i say with unrelated
stuff. Deflecting. I stuck to the subject, what happened how i
percieved the issues back then with Destiny, and I spoke ONLY of
that and mentioned i won't disrespect sd by minimizing what she
shared.

I knew she dealt
with many of the same issues i do with Family and work. It's VERY
difficult to face a mirror, and not get triggered, or run away. Her
and i both know we subconciously play out our family dysfunction
with potential friends and or mates.

U obviously are
emailing others and this is what happens? One of you becomes an
enforcer? Preach all you want about the objectives of this site and
how we ALL should behave here. How i should behave, but tell me
that AFTER you minimize my contributions, my sharing here as
trivial "ramblings"

You are the one
full of spite and spleen babe. No compassion or understanding for
my mistakes that you give others for some Hyped up sense of
loyalty? I have never gone this far with anyone here.
EVER!

You and your
friends, who are participating in this background hazing ?!
Call me paranoia I don't care. More crazymaking.

People see it play
out here in how, when and why you all strike. It's always the same
group. Then it gets solidified by LONG absenses, until the next
conflict, that doesn't involve ANY of you directly. U come to stick
up for your friends? Yea. I love how ya'll do that. It all stinks
of hypocracy and that is one thing I am NOT!

4."I didn't say I
was shutting YOU down, only that I was going to let it go. But you
continue to bait me...and I continue to bite....so be it...bad
me...still got something to learn here.

keep baiting...if
that's what you want from me...frankly, I got better things to do.
" 4th time u are done. I'm not baiting you. I am responding to your
disparaging comments and i am not wrong on that one. I didn't start
this and i am not doing the "stay or go" dance...or playing the
little head games u are.The manner of wich youy are posting to me
IS about amkiing me submit to your perception of me.

You inject little
comments like this is a GAME to you?!

But YOU have
better things to do?!

I do to.
AND

Now I AM DONE with
you. I don't trust you and that's THAT!First time i posted it and i
am keeping my word.

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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bevdee
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Hey
MsG,

I'm glad to hear
your dad's B-day went well. Yeehaw, we got through the family stuff
intact!!! I imagine it made your dad happy that everyone got
together for him. Toxic or not, he probably misses your mom, and is
lonely. I'm glad you survived it. It sounds like you are getting
better at handling difficult or stressful situations.

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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MSG-
Hi. Some of the comments you made got my attention such as "I
mentioned AAC doesn't have an even playing field when older members
know each other for real. So many people here are aware of that,
not just me.this is an example of the harm you all cause including
popping up and posting a thread after a falling out. Then
disappearing again." ....I have made those same exact observations
myself......

With that in mind
what can we do to level this playing field?

You said "Lots of
em, move off and mention them elsewhere" ....I have noticed that
to....

MSG what do you
think the solution to this problem is?

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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bevdee
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Andi!
lol

Ethel! Where you
goin'?

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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Hepburn
Los Angeles, California
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OMG,
too funny.

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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{{{{MsG}}}}} As we southerners are wont to "I don't have a dog
in this fight", but I do wish you would take a deep cleansing
breath and not let this rile you. In through your nose, expand your
diaphram, and out through your mouth a few times.

It just isn't
worth it to engage in this. It's an argument that can't be
won.

I know that my
personality is different from yours and I am able to ignore some
things you aren't...different life experiences and all. I just hate
to see you upset.

Peace, love, and
happiness,

Bitsy

PS maybe you could
go outside for a "smoke break".

PPS: I don't mean
for any of this to come across as condecension...just
concern.

Bitsy

June 29, 2010
12:00 am
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_anonymous
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MsG-
I am not going to minimize your feelings. Take all the time you
need to process your thoughts. I will listen.

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