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MsG:::::
June 9, 2010
12:00 am
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sdesigns
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My
financial advisor's boss just called me from out of state and she
is going to talk to my guy and tell him I need to make a switch.
This isn't going to be pleasant but it is my life savings we're
talking about here. So at least she understands and is going to
take the burden of telling him.

MsG, I was
thinking about the party for your dad. Did he ever throw parties
for anyone or was it always your mom's efforts?

My dad would never
make the effort, and if left to his own devices he might get a
cheap gift and then wrap it in newspaper (GAWD, this makes me sick
to my stomach). My mom was always disappointed that he didn't do
much for special occasions even tho she would do things for him. I
remember thinking during all the preparations for her memorial
service and doing the shopping with my dad that she was finally
getting the party she always wanted. So sad and pathetic. Boy, I'm
in mood, aren't I? anyhow, was thinking your dad was expecting the
same thing even tho he may not have made an effort towards
others.

June 9, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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Geez
(((sd))) I'm so sorry about your money issues.

The stock market
is a crap shoot, and these advisors make $$ from their clients
success, or do they? How many stories do i hear that these guys
dupe clients for their investments, opting to line their pockets
instead. With the present volatile nature of the market perhaps
many agents are feeling the pressure ( people losing money and
airing frustrations with them) and are avoiding having to relay bad
news?

You're right tho.
It is your savings/retirement and it's crucial to know exactly
whats going on. Switching is the best thing you can do or try to
get your money out if thats feesable.

Also i understand
what you mean about being imprinted with some not so wonderful
features due to our upbringing. I see you as being very perceptive
and able to LISTEN better.U give others an ear and respond to THEM
without making yourself the main focus. Even pointing out you don't
want to "burden" people.

I'm glad you let
some of your sadness out in that post. I feel honoured you can do
that with me.

We had to be
independent and self relient at a young age, and that carried into
adulthood partly as pride, and a deep need to prove ourselves
worthy. But somehow i still have issues with intimacy, listening,
and putting my issues aside so i can focus on others. I focused on
others to love me by performing but giving the utmost attention to
their thoughts and responding to them alone. I have
trouble!

Part of it now is
my finances also. I'm putting all i have into work, trying to bring
more stability and prepair for winter.

Talking or
focusing on my problems won't pay my bills or the Mortgage. I'm
trying to be proactive and active.

I'm starting to
feel trapped tho. I can't seem to make enough. I'm tired of living
with restraint all the time. I barely shop and don't like feeling
guilty if i want to for something i NEED! I've even thought about
selling the house. It's a huge burden.

A lot of what i am
doing now is fear driven. THAT is not good.

A lot of people
are fear driven. How did it get this way? well I know. But it's
harder to escape it on all levels now.

We're surrounded
GF! As for my Dad making an effort? I kindof think that's a woman
thing. The Matriarchs role. My dad was always a Bistander and
supporter of her efforts. My Mother was the life of the party and
always had recognition. It was never enough tho. He's also very
cheap, but since he gave my Mom riegn over all the finances his
cheapness was just pure complaining. He had no power cept his job
and company benefits. Everyone just feels sorry for him, being a
widow, so they try to make him happy.

My Dad is a
Passive Aggresive and that feature shows mainly with his least
favourite.

You and i are that
to our fathers. It's horrible that we must remind them of their
foibles and cruelties. They don't like that. ;0)

Well I'm not
feeling very good right now. PMS and the family stuff is hitting
me.I'm having a hard time with clarity. Shutting down a
bit.

The next few days
will be rough with work. Bloody Mother Nature! I can't appreciate
ALL that she has to offer!ahahaha

All the best with
your apt and i'm hoping more work comes your way, of
course!

Off to bed for
me.

be
well!

June 9, 2010
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sdesigns
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Hey
MsG: Thanks for writing back. I try to be cautious about being too
negative but sometimes it is reality.

You always seem to
understand the family stuff, but we sure are similar in our
experiences. Its not something that will ever be resolved but
somehow we have to come to terms with it. But it is a constant
presence in our lives and how we perceive things.

Part of the
problem is that I don't have anything to do so I think too much.
Have to start going our and amusing myself again.

Apparently I will
have a woman as a financial planner and she has asst's. The manager
of the firm is a woman too. Maybe thats going to help. I think my
guy is so wrapped up in his own dismal situation that he's
paralyzed but he also did not take care of biz when the transfer
was made from his old company and the level of customer service
hasn't been there. He hasn't met my expectaions or my needs- not
even close- so hopefully this other woman will be a better fit. I
think I am savvy enough to know when someone isn't performing to
their abilities and he isn't the first financial person I've had so
I have seen dif approaches and levels of service. I also know they
put themselves first, not the client. Its all about commissions.But
I at least haVE TO FEEL

Got back from my
appt- and it WAS the woman from a couple of years ago that stood me
up- but this time I got a consult fee from her so all was not
lost.

Well, they don't
call houses money pits without reason. They can and will suck you
dry and you really need to have the resources to sink into it. But
your income probably isn't at a normal level either so that doesn't
help. I know how much you love it there tho. Do you think it would
even sell for a good price now?

June 9, 2010
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sdesigns
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Hey
MsG: Thanks for writing back. I try to be cautious about being too
negative but sometimes it is reality.

You always seem to
understand the family stuff, but we sure are similar in our
experiences. Its not something that will ever be resolved but
somehow we have to come to terms with it. But it is a constant
presence in our lives and how we perceive things.

Part of the
problem is that I don't have anything to do so I think too much.
Have to start going our and amusing myself again.

Apparently I will
have a woman as a financial planner and she has asst's. The manager
of the firm is a woman too. Maybe thats going to help. I think my
guy is so wrapped up in his own dismal situation that he's
paralyzed but he also did not take care of biz when the transfer
was made from his old company and the level of customer service
hasn't been there. He hasn't met my expectaions or my needs- not
even close- so hopefully this other woman will be a better fit. I
think I am savvy enough to know when someone isn't performing to
their abilities and he isn't the first financial person I've had so
I have seen dif approaches and levels of service. I also know they
put themselves first, not the client. Its all about commissions.But
I at least haVE TO FEEL

Got back from my
appt- and it WAS the woman from a couple of years ago that stood me
up- but this time I got a consult fee from her so all was not
lost.

Well, they don't
call houses money pits without reason. They can and will suck you
dry and you really need to have the resources to sink into it. But
your income probably isn't at a normal level either so that doesn't
help. I know how much you love it there tho. Do you think it would
even sell for a good price now?

June 9, 2010
12:00 am
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sdesigns
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Hey
MsG: Thanks for writing back. I try to be cautious about being too
negative but sometimes it is reality.

You always seem to
understand the family stuff, but we sure are similar in our
experiences. Its not something that will ever be resolved but
somehow we have to come to terms with it. But it is a constant
presence in our lives and how we perceive things.

Part of the
problem is that I don't have anything to do so I think too much.
Have to start going our and amusing myself again.

Apparently I will
have a woman as a financial planner and she has asst's. The manager
of the firm is a woman too. Maybe thats going to help. I think my
guy is so wrapped up in his own dismal situation that he's
paralyzed but he also did not take care of biz when the transfer
was made from his old company and the level of customer service
hasn't been there. He hasn't met my expectaions or my needs- not
even close- so hopefully this other woman will be a better fit. I
think I am savvy enough to know when someone isn't performing to
their abilities and he isn't the first financial person I've had so
I have seen dif approaches and levels of service. I also know they
put themselves first, not the client. Its all about commissions.But
I at least haVE TO FEEL

Got back from my
appt- and it WAS the woman from a couple of years ago that stood me
up- but this time I got a consult fee from her so all was not
lost.

Well, they don't
call houses money pits without reason. They can and will suck you
dry and you really need to have the resources to sink into it. But
your income probably isn't at a normal level either so that doesn't
help. I know how much you love it there tho. Do you think it would
even sell for a good price now?

June 9, 2010
12:00 am
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sdesigns
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Hey
MsG: Thanks for writing back. I try to be cautious about being too
negative but sometimes it is reality.

You always seem to
understand the family stuff, but we sure are similar in our
experiences. Its not something that will ever be resolved but
somehow we have to come to terms with it. But it is a constant
presence in our lives and how we perceive things.

Part of the
problem is that I don't have anything to do so I think too much.
Have to start going our and amusing myself again.

Apparently I will
have a woman as a financial planner and she has asst's. The manager
of the firm is a woman too. Maybe thats going to help. I think my
guy is so wrapped up in his own dismal situation that he's
paralyzed but he also did not take care of biz when the transfer
was made from his old company and the level of customer service
hasn't been there. He hasn't met my expectations or my needs- not
even close- so hopefully this other woman will be a better fit. I
think I am savvy enough to know when someone isn't performing to
their abilities and he isn't the first financial person I've had so
I have seen dif approaches and levels of service. I also know they
put themselves first, not the client. Its all about commissions.But
I at least haVE TO FEEL that someone is paying
attention.

Got back from my
appt- and it WAS the woman from a couple of years ago that stood me
up- but this time I got a consult fee from her so all was not
lost.

Well, they don't
call houses money pits without reason. They can and will suck you
dry and you really need to have the resources to sink into it. But
your income probably isn't at a normal level either so that doesn't
help. I know how much you love it there tho. Do you think it would
even sell for a good price now? Maybe you could make enough profit
to save it and wait again to purchase something when you're more
prepared?

Long live post
menopause!! Glad I don't have that anymore- its heaven!

Stay focused, work
hard and you'll be OK, MsG. At least you have the opportunity to
work now, and save your nuts for winter.

I'm going to kick
back now..........have a good one, my friend.

sd

June 12, 2010
12:00 am
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sdesigns
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Respectfully have to disagree w/ some stuff Msg- its not the
message that was being delivered but HOW it was being delivered-
and I think that has all been Lost. I have no desire to interact w/
folks who who stoop so low as to dig up dirt from someone on
another thread, throw it in their face, and then cry foul. To me
that is mean spirited, a very poor communicator and a bully. And
since you so wholeheartedly support that behavior, have to say I am
really surprised. I think all are getting their apples and oranges
mixed up.

Anyhow, I'll be
seeing you around, I suppose.

June 12, 2010
12:00 am
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MsGuided
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Sd.

Well I most likely
overstepped and made a mistake in drawing parallels about my
comments and addiction ( F people, we are a cancer, and so on)
those comments being pointed out as negative and wrong.

They are negative.
But wrong?

My wick is pretty
short these days under certain situations.

You're probably
right.

I'm not a bully by
nature but that did come out in the meltdown thread. I apologize to
you and caraway.

June 12, 2010
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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I
apolized twice now...gosh sdesigns can you let go of it now...you
never did like me on here to begin with...

June 12, 2010
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sdesigns
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See,
bfg that is the sort of SHIT thats gets you in trouble. Why do you
say I never liked you anyhow. And then you go to other threads
crying that people don't like you- waaaahhhhh- and no said anything
of the sort. But in your own mind you conjure up this shit and run
with it. And I for one am not going to take the time or make the
effort to deal with that. Its bizarre, if you want my opinion.
Crazy making bs.

But after all of
this, I certainly won't want to discuss anything with you as you
may take it the wrong way, dig up dirt about me and start slinging
it. Sorry, but I want no part of that. I am amazed tho that so many
people jumped on the bandwagon with you- it becomes a gang
mentality- and bbq's Cary at the stake- when I think if you look at
the actual words- he wasn't attacking or trying to hurt anyone- you
made your own interpreations, made judgements, etc.

Anyhow- I don't
want any part of this type of discussion. You start out with a
topic but the topic had nothing to do with the mudslinging
aftermath. Crap like that just feeds on itself.

I think you are
still confusing the topic with the fricking method of
communication.

Carry on
folks.

sd

June 12, 2010
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Oh my
god...you don't know me or my life...yet you have made me into the
devil...gosh I had no idea you felt this poorly of me...well ok at
least what I felt was real and I was right all along...I am truly
sorry you feel this way...its your choice to not speak to
me...peace sdesigns...truly I am not looking to fight...you spoke
how much you hate me and now will not talk to me? I have to admit
that hurts but that is life I guess...guess I should of just said
nothing in my defense and leave...I am sorry.

June 12, 2010
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sdesigns
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I
will never understand you, bfg. Where did I say I hate you? Where
did I say you are the devil? See, that is what I call crazy making
behavior.

I don't think you
are capable of understanding my point. We are on completely dif
wavelengths.

You obviously
can't understand my words- you prefer to interpret. So be it. Over
and out.

June 12, 2010
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It No Longer Matters
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(((MsG and SDesigns))). Miss you two

Bitsy

June 12, 2010
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I am
going to take a break from here...I need time to get my heart and
mind together for awhile... I honestly meant no harm and I am sorry
for hurting people here...I never meant to do that...I really
amsorry...take care.

June 12, 2010
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bevdee
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(((Sdesigns))), I never saw you say you hate anyone, or call
anyone names. shaking my head...

June 12, 2010
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MsGuided
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Well
I DON'T behave like that.

And the
"bandwagon" I'm jumping on? To fry Cary? There's a lot of things
UNSAID HERE and now i say, i have a lot of respect for cary. I
never got to post to him, but I've read a bit.

Caraway came to
that Meltdown thread first! I didn't go to his and make a
disparaging remark about him or the subject or had any issues with
him.

I'm not frying
caraway. Have i brought up anything he posted in the past? any of
his weakness's or vulnerabilities he posted here? NO!

All i had is a
disagreement with caraway and respectfully defended my idea. He
doesn't like my cancer comment? and a few other quotes he picked up
from MY post? That's all I'm dealing with. Oh yes. I said he's
brainwashed because, afterall the subtext of the meltdown thread IS
brainwashing. That's as far as it got.

BTW. I feel the
effects of that same brainwashing in my own way ( (harping on about
"conspiracy theories", religion and corruption,Ha!) How about
you?

When i said i
support BFG i meant her personal problems and her world view and i
answered a question. Gave a "theory" or metaphor illustrating how i
came up with the "people are cancer" theory. I know lots of peopel
who think the same way. who try to HEAL this cancer. Try to change
and become better people. The dangers and pitfalls of the world. I
didn't mean her view on cary. I didn't choose to address that.I
chose to ignore it. It's interesting how you came up with that. I'm
sorry if i came across that way.

I don't think i am
parading a pity party here.Not any social stuff in AAC, just
dealing with a shitstorm at home. My own problems. I TRY to help
people here and TRY to be very vigilant about stepping away unless
it is in support or validation.

You obviously
formed a friendship with him and are coming to his
defence.

I comes down to
choosing sides with me now?

You bring up gang
mentality? Since were on the subject, there are cligues, loyalties,
divisions on here. Some formed before i ever knew of this place,
and i wasn't aware i was part of one. I'm trying to remain pliable
and flexable. Being here isn't about being adversarial and creating
a life full of DRAMA with AAC members.(that all gets shelved or
buried hopefully) THAT isn't me!

It's about our
lives and appreciating eachother isn't it? It's about healing and
finding ways to cope with our pain. We all have it and express it
in various ways.

SD!?

Am i to take
everything you've ever said to me, every validating word and
compliment, the last 2+ yrs. as insincere now?

You directed that
post to me. "respectfully i have to disagree" You weren't totally
clear about You're thinking the worst of me now?

We all have
"issues". I'm choosing not to judge BFG and am trying to see her
expression comes from a place of pain right now and i allow that.
I'm not seeing it as a loyalty issue like you are.

Am I to take the
consequences of " I'll be seeing you around,I suppose"

Is that a
threat?

Forget "I'll
always support you"

We had vows sd.
You spoke vows. I spoke VOWS to you and choose to not paint you
with your faults. I won't abandon you sd. I'm trying to understand
when your pain is speaking and not take it personally
(((SD)))

I am what you
posted above? Hmmmmm.

June 12, 2010
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I
didn't see her say she hates BFG.

But that's how
some people with abandonemnt issues percieve being berated and told
they don't want to be associated with anymore.

That's what
freezing out, with this kind of exit does! "Carry on
folks".

June 12, 2010
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Thanks msg...I am starting to realize something here...I am
seriously fucked up in the head...not asking for pity...but I
really truly am fucked up.

June 12, 2010
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"You
obviously formed a friendship with him and are coming to his
defence. "

I have about one
minute right now and I will address this=- no, it is not that I
formed a friendship with Cary- I would have done that for anyone
who had that done to them. I've NEVER seen anything like that ever
on this site and everyone just carried on.

I objected to it
and I still do.

June 12, 2010
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If I
can't get along here...then I have no hope to do that in real life
as well...I do not know why people get angry with me...I guess I do
take things very personal...maybe I have a mental disease...maybe
my parents screwed me up...maybe I just am toxic too...I do know I
end up in teartsa too ¤uch...I been crying since I was smal...I
never had friends and I am not looking for pity...only a few here
understand me...can't get water from a rock...maybe I am just too
damaged to learn...maybe I deertve it.honestly I just don't care
anymore abnout anything...thanks msguided...you get it...I am sorry
I caused you problems here...I am just like poison I
guess...

Goodbye
everyone....

June 12, 2010
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MsGuided
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((BFG)) you're not poison. Just in a bit of a crisis, and
emotions are at the surface.

It's hard for
people to deal with crisis, especially when they are in as much
personal turmoil as you've admitted. Some have the tools to keep a
lid on their vulnerabilities.

(((Bitsy)))

Forgiveness. Got
some lessons to share? ;0)

(((SD)) Trigger is
the word.

I'm giving this
all some space.

(New Moon, makes
us Loons.

We just don't see
anything in the darkness and sometimes lash out, flail in
fear.)

Be
well!

June 12, 2010
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sdesigns
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bfg:
Good GAWD- no not rage, more than annoyed and irritated
though.

MsG: Why does it
have to be a trigger to react to one of the ugliest moves I've ever
seen here?

Thanks
(((((bevdee))))). Nice to see you around again.

Thanks
(((((Bitsy)))))

MsG: Where did I
say I didn't want to be associated with her anymore? I said...well,
you can read what I SAID. Do NOT put words in my mouth. If you want
to change what I said, then it is YOUR words, not mine. If you
choose to interpret them, then they are YOURS, not mine.

June 13, 2010
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MsGuided
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So
HOW did your post land on my thread sd? You posted on my thread and
i assumed it was directed at me. Hm? My nic is in that post. You
said: "Respectfully have to disagree w/ some stuff ( stuff? what
stuff, u leave a lot for interpretation) Msg- its not the message
that was being delivered but HOW it was being delivered- ( well
< HOW caraway delivered his post wasn't so wonderful either and YOU even reacted to that, BUT your comments weren't specified or critisized in his POST!) and I think that has all been Lost. I have no desire to interact w/ folks who who stoop so low as to dig up dirt from someone on another thread, throw it in their face, and then cry foul."

At least i
explained my view on the harm people exert upon the planet and
eachother. cary just dropped a bomb and slid away. He just kept
repeating my words and didn't offer any debate. "Folks". Can't be
directed t'ward me or TbT, CC, andii.I don't see any pat on my back
there. You used FOLKs to lump us all togehter. It's a scolding.
You're dissapointed in me. Pure and simple.I read that post
properly. Amazing. "To me that is mean spirited, a very poor
communicator and a bully. And since you so wholeheartedly support
that behavior, have to say I am really surprised. I think all are
getting their apples and oranges mixed up."

I replied above (
june 12th "well I don't behave like that...",to get clarification
from you( yea, you choose to avoid addressing averything i stated
there but brought up the friendship with cary comment, Picked one
thing and disregarded averything else)

I wasn't
supporting her view of cary. in my comments on Chels thread, I have
to repeat myself.....i stated i meant to support her and validate
her personal struggles at home. I didn't specify those facts but
thats what i meant. It had nothing to do with here or cary, THEN i
went on to answer her question. If you don't beleive me then
there's not much i can do about that. I just wanted her to feel
better without stabbing at something she's not ready for. I'm not
focusing on her weakness's and opting to hurt her. If you deny you
have hurt her with your comments. BULLSHIT again. I also answered
her question in a logical way with wiki. quote and my own metaphor
for humans. Nowhere in there did i slam cary .

"Very poor
commmunicator" that is true, for ANYONE, when they don't get their
needs met for a lifetime. "Anyhow, I'll be seeing you around, I
suppose." I thought that was directed at me. also. Since my nic was
in the post and it's in my thread. WOW Talk about evasive measures.
You're good, but I ain't that foolish. Oh I'm supposed to be all
comfy with that whole post and that comment? I suppose? Give me a
frikken BREAK! You also said: "MsG: Where did I say I didn't want
to be associated with her anymore?"

Well
here.

"But after all of
this, I certainly won't want to discuss anything with you as you
may take it the wrong way, dig up dirt about me and start slinging
it. Sorry, but I want no part of that. I am amazed tho that so
many people jumped on the bandwagon with you"

That looks like an
ultimatum or threat and it is both. You are expecting the worst
from her and me? Need to protect yourself? How long have we
communicated on these boards and did i EVER dig up dirt, or betray
you?Yes i am SPOT On with my trigger comments. Your trust issues
and protective devices are off the scale and your looking to make
someone else pay for that. Me? NOT LIKELY!You basically brought up
TRUST and that's a BIGGY! YOUR trust issues and BFG's. Heck All of
our trust issues. The message was "If you continue this behaviour
then i will not associate with you", words have dictionary
descriptions as do SENTENCES< with COMBINED words. Threat of REJECTION is what that says.. then in a following post:

"I will never
understand you, bfg. Where did I say I hate you? Where did I say
you are the devil? See, that is what I call crazy making
behavior.

I don't think
you are capable of understanding my point. We are on completely dif
wavelengths. "

You don't see that
as a harsh incompassionate? NOT CAPABLE? How do you like it, or
react, if someone says "you're incapable" That = NOT CAPABLE. What
does a frikken Thesaurus offer for "incapable". I'll tell you.
INEPT, FEEBLE, INCOMPETENT, WEAK. Must I parrot peoples words or
seek to understand? Oh I understand alright. You don't think that
reeks of disdain>???

Maybe she would
understand if YOU chose your words more carefully.

BFG is beating
herself up so you may as well clobber her more. Hit her when she's
REALLY down. She apologized to caraway and so did i before you
continued but that wasn't good enough.

I'm trying to
understand where this comes from and not take it personal. But you
made it personal.

Even moreso in
your last post.

That just hurt a
bit Sd. You hugging Bitsy and bevdee and leaving me out.

You don't hug me
much and i've been taking stock of that. My hugs aren't
reciprocated much. Is it me or is it you? is the history here just
empty words and ingenuine.? I know I was and am genuine.

I posted a long
time ago I live by the Wiccan Code of conduct.

"Honour your
vows."

"When someone does
something kind or good for you you return the favour and pass it
on."

WOW! I have to
repost the progression of this disagreement. I do it cause i
invested in you and owe you that. I made vows. I aim for integrity
with those i let "IN". I want to build my friends up, Not tear them
down. Haven't i done that with you? I know i have. OVER a thousand
F'n Posts here SD! and I'm the bad one.LMAO.

No I didn't
misinterpret what you said or MEANT at all. I am not feeble minded
or ignorant to disapprval and the threat of "I'm going to bail if
you continue like this" Most of it directed toward BFG, but you
stated you don't agree with me "respectfully"? One things for sure.
I never see you apologize. Interesting.

Not much respect
or warmth in that last post. Just you saying I'm wrong. and you
denying what you said.

GOOD
NIGHT!

June 13, 2010
12:00 am
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sdesigns
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I do
chose my words carefully.

If I said I didn't
want to associate with her I would have said I don' t want to
associate with her. Nah, not even gonna do this. MsG, you seem to
forget when I tried to step back from here many moths ago wyou went
to another thread to cry, then Screaming Banshee woman came over
and pecked my eyes out- and that was OK? Well, it wasn't. So, the
loyalty went way out the window then. Yeah, things have been way
dof since then.

I still don't
understand why people think bfg is being censored- I haven't said
she didn't have a right to her opinions- its not about her
opinions- its about how whs etreated someone who disagrred with
her. But I'm not going to rehash all of this MsG- it just isn't
worth it to me. And I'd also like to bring up that after the
Screaming Bansee woman incident, you son said you were going to
step back. and There was no drama over that was there? don't know
what there had to be when I wanted to back of for
awhile.

Anyhow, I'm not
coming back on this thread or probably not even on this
side.

June 13, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Msguided...I started a new thread about gardens on this
side...I hope you come over and chat...I really enjoyed our
conversations about nature and would like that to continue...and
anyone else who would like to join us...please do...something mydas
told me inspired me...peace to all

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