Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
MsG:::::
January 15, 2009
12:31 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
151sp_Permalink sp_Print

((((((MsG)))))))

Love you too, take care of yourself.

(((((MrD))))))

sd

January 15, 2009
7:02 pm
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
152sp_Permalink sp_Print

MsG,

You are a positive force here by the thoughtful feedback you provide. I have gotten a lot of insights from you- you've helped me see things in different lights. Take care of yourself on your break-

Positive thoughts, squooshy hugs and love zinging with a Texas accent at you. ~ ~

January 15, 2009
10:08 pm
Avatar
glittered when he walked
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
153sp_Permalink sp_Print

(((MsG)))

Hang in there babe..don't take life's punches on the chin..roll with 'em.

"Duck dodge dash and dodge. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!" from the movie Dodgeball.

Put a good comedy in the DVD and allow yourself to laugh. Do the best you can and be happy.

January 18, 2009
1:54 am
Avatar
glittered when he walked
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
154sp_Permalink sp_Print

shit. Wrecked my truck tonight. Flippin snow covered roads...had it in 4x4 and had to choose to brake or pass the vehicle in from of me going down the hill on the highway...I opted to pass...passed them and then fishtailed right into the SUV dammit. I'm fine. truck is driveable but needs to have front bumper replaced and right turn signal. I slid into them broadside drivers side..they slid into barrier and did some bumper damage. everyone is OK. But what a pain this may be....getting it fixed...dealing with the insurance...blah blah blah.

damn..i just shoulda crawled behind them...i was about 5 miles from my house dammit. shit. jeez..I wish i could ease it all with a few drinks but I have no booze in the house...and I'm not going out for any..that's for sure.

January 18, 2009
12:05 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
155sp_Permalink sp_Print

(((((Glittered!)))))

Geez, you guys, that driving in the snow is dangerous. Glad you are OK glittered!!

I lived in Colorado for a very short while and that was the part I didn't cope with well at all- the driving in the snow. Scraping ice off the windows, the door would freeze so I couldn't close it, pain in the a$$!

Nothing like that happening here. I went up to Studio City Friday to have lunch with a friend I used to sail with and it took 1 1/2 hours to get back on the jam packed freeway. But no snow!!

And I haven't heard a peep out of Sarge.

boohoo!

sd

January 18, 2009
4:21 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
156sp_Permalink sp_Print

Decided to cut Sarge loose. Sent him a short email and told him not to respond, that we're looking for dif things.

I think he's a very confused man, doesn't know what he wants but knows how to put his hooks into a woman to keep her around wanting more. Only there is no "more", he just throws out lots of carrots about things we "must" do together except those plans never materialize.

He admitted to using the kids as an excuse to not do things, and the fact that his mother is often there and an aunt also lives with him, I think there are plenty of babysitters around. Plus the daughter is 18 and could watch her brother. He has lots of time for biking and can spend hours on Match, so its obvious he's just not that into me anymore.

I also don't like that he's letting the lesbian X call the shots on his dating. Can't tell if its him that I am dating or his fricking X. I don't like the fact that he didn't get a divorce for 10 years after he found out she was a lesbian and I don't like the fact that he considers her his best friend. I don't think that if a person lies, deceives and betrays you, and wastes 10 years of your life, has affairs behind your back- I don't think thats a candidate for a best friend. To me it shows he has very weak boundaries. I think that it is in the X's best interest for him to NOT find someone as she still gets to live a life free and clear of her committments to the kids, and once Sarge finds someone they are going to put a stop to that. So I really doubt her motives and I think she's teaching him how to play games, not to date. I don't like the fact that he isn't insisting that he also gets to have a life, that he just lets her walk all over him.

And for all his sweetie, my dearest's etc, I think he's a smooth talker and didn't back it up enough by his actions. He's probably sweet talking all over the internet so BLEH, and be gone, Sarge! He was giving me a stomach ache, so thats just my body talking to me and telling me things weren't right.

So.......I unhid my profile on POF and Voila! already have an email from an HR Director- seems OK so far.

I remember when I first started this dating thing and how I would just wait to see how things would play out and gave the man all the control. So I can give myself credit that at least now I cut THEM lose instead of waiting around to see if they pick me, pick me! There are so many players on the internet and I don't have the patience for that anymore. If something smells, time to let 'em go.

As they say, there's more fish in the sea..........

sd

January 18, 2009
4:56 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
157sp_Permalink sp_Print

and..........

he said that the X was going to show him things to please a woman in bed. And that was a stomache turner to me............she still has her grip on him in ways that just aren't healthy.

January 18, 2009
7:44 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
158sp_Permalink sp_Print

HA! A date with the HR guy tonight- he's driving all the way here too. Going to meet at the Redondo Pier for drinks.

And the lawyer from last month asked me out for tonight too. But I don't like him too much.

Onward and upward...

sd

January 19, 2009
1:40 pm
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
159sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hi ((Sd, glittered))

Glittered, It's been a tough winter and it isn't until that split second of lost control do ya realize how vicarious things are on snowy roads..a little slip and yer done for.No defensive measures just the feeling of "what will happen now? Will i get hit, go in the ditch? DIE??..." ...while sliding around. You just let it happen because it's a powerless uncontrollable situation once you've lost control in snow.

Crazy!

Same thing for me.I have a 4X4 Mazda B4000 ( Ranger),good tires. I was going straight and hit a bad patch. It's like some thing reached up out of the road and smacked me sideways!

YUP, best to slow down a bit, rather than hit that ridge of snow between lanes, when ya pass, Hindsight huh?....I deal with this crap all the time, and finally, after 5 seasons of clearing snow the odds beat me.

It sucks when we're trying to get ahead financially, things are tight. A small mistake or miss-step can set ya back!

I have the same headache of "if" i should repair my front bumper and side panels, insurance, the residual fear, white knuckling while i drive in the next storm. Almost $900 bucks to repair my starting problem ( Pulleys, belts,alternator, battery..my fuel filter was clogged)..and that isn't even the body work, which will probably be near 3 grand.

I go 60-70kms on the highway when it's snowy......and most people go near the speed limit, passing me. It's insane! You sit there wondering when and who will hit that patch and slide sideways, trying to be prepared for it. I drive by vehicles in the ditch, just after a spin out. I am over cautious now and try to keep a good distance from other drivers.

So sorry this happened to you and I hope you don't get dinged by Ins. if you decide to claim.

I think it will be another record year for snow here, but I lost money due to that, because it gets riskier driving....UGH! All I can do is keep working.

SD... Sounds like Sarg is a raging codep...with other women controlling his life.

GAWD..what can be worse? X wives pulling the strings, relatives living with him. He's gotta realize this won't allow him to find a committed relationship.I thought he had relationships with them that were healthier, not so enmeshed.

All appearances seem to indicate he's a "my-life" kinda guy..is good natured and successful.

At least you're on your own and HE doesn't have to deal with this sort of thing with you. Would he if the shoe was on his foot>?

But you never know. This may be a wake up call for him, and he will come running if he really likes you. Will you give him another chance if he agrees to make some changes?

Have you told him that having them around pulling the strings doesn't help him find somebody?

Maybe it's not a good idea to stop negotiations all together? but you know better since most of what happens we don't see or know here.

You're going to deal with troubles no matter who you date...we all have our share of lint balls under the bed at this stage in life.

Then again there are too many hungry bitches out there pulling him in all directions. Looks like he's used to women running his life and seems to need the ego boost.

At least you keep finding other eggs. Better to keep visiting the Chicken Coop I suppose.

I'm coming down with a mild cold here. I do feel a little better emotionally, but I'm not out of the woods yet.

My Mom is in the hospital and she's a mess. I really don't feel like being around her now. I'm just on the edge and can't afford the family shyte dragging me under any further.

You know when MrD got in his accident last Friday, His parents paid for most of the repairs ( around 2000, there were problems with the car that were dealt with, and his front bumper isn't bad at all, so he's leaving it. )...They have always took care of their finances, and live pretty good. Always out with their friends, travelling.Generousd...Maybe they do too much, but with my parents, if they help me, it's always with strings attached.

I look at my parents and it's just a bundle of Misery! F'n disasters, because my N mother had us all twisted up in her BS! Now look at her....sucking the life out of us when she's sick and old. My dad is all enmeshed with her, just doesn't see. Or he's too Old, and thinks it's too late...it's a codependent nightmare.

Man she pisses me off.....all of them do.

I need to make some changes, and I don't know exactly what they are.

All i know is when i get old, and i get into a health crisis where there is no return, NO WAY am i going to spend years, hooked into the medical system, barely alive, suffering...I'm gonna do myself in with a nice "cocktail"..Die with dignity.
No way am I going to make my family suffer, ANYONE for years, watching me, coming to my aide, the medical treadmill of hospital stays, drugs etc.

I am having nightmares of looking like my Mother, her awful physical state, being a cripple, and pumped with psychotropic drugs, painkillers, so i can't even think clearly. YEA..you get your life taken away by the doctors and Pharm industry. They keep you alive for years, and it pays them well, THEY live WELL! off of your suffering. I've seen first hand the last year what they do to the sick and old.

Not me...No F'n WAY!

Our friend that passed last week had a massive heart attack...a few seconds and done. He died in his home, living to the fullest up to that day. We all knew, HE KNEW< he was going to die ( due to his smoking, diet, and heart disease that ran in the family)......no long drawn out sentence for him. We're all just having a huge Wake this weekend. Everyones gearing up for a party. That's the way he wanted it. He was a giver, a really good animator, lived hsi whole life creating silly cartoons ( somewhat self abusing, but he didn't make others carry him) and never wanted to be a burden on others. I have really woken up to how crazy and draining my family is and it's time for it to stop before I become the same. MrD and i had a good session this weekend so at least that blew out some carbon.hehe His team is going to the SuperBowl....The Cardinals won. I told him if he works with me Sunday Morn. (the Football party was cancelled at the "Loud Hosers" house ;0) and moved elsewhere, but we were too tired after working to go). The deal was, we'll come home, shower up, make love before the game,(we have to orgasm or it doesn't apply) he has his ritual and his team "shrine" and they will win. It all happened according to plan.HA! For today , I feel under the weather, and I'm just going to think of myself and my little family here. I don't give a damn if my sister, Dad, Mom, or any of their friends think I'm selfish ....they're getting what they give. Back at em. This game has never been fun, or healthy for me. Yea...On ward and upward! Be Well!

January 19, 2009
2:06 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
160sp_Permalink sp_Print

MsG, you blew out the carbon????????? he he, lucky girl!

I think you're doing the right thing to concentrate and you and your little family. What you're going thru is much bigger than just you and you can't be expected to handle all of it. Its a tough spot to be in day after day and it will drain you emotionally for sure.

I agree with you about "the end" and I've often thought of that. Plus I'll probably be alone with no one to take care of me so I just want to call it quits and be gone, not linger in misery.

Thats great MrD's parents are in a position to help and WANT to help. That makes such a difference, sound like NORMAL parents.

I got another one of my Dad's random $500 checks on Friday. So WTF is that for? Not even a card at Xmas, nothing for my bday, but he sends $$ out of the blue. I can't stand it!!

I sincerely doubt Sarge will be back as I did not even leave a crack in the door for him to do that. And you're right, there are plenty of women for him to play with and get an ego boost. Its odd that the 2 times we had sex I wouldn't hear from him for days on end. Otherwise he was all over me with the "sweeties" and "my dearest sd", so I think there's some issues with physical intimacy as well.

I met up with the HR guy last night and things actually went very well. He's a bit older than I prefer (61) but seems to be successful (when there's work) and has an interesting background. Is fairly political (worked for 2 congressmen) but at least we are the same party. He's been married 3 times (yikes!) but is very serious about having an exclusive and intimate relationship. He's 5'11', causcasian and American born- what a difference for moi!!

He paid my parking last night as well as for drinks, offered to take me to dinner but I said no. Wants to go to dinner this week sometimes, and called last night to say how much he enjoyed meeting me. So far, seems to be generous and has manners.

And....he has the same make of car that I do but his is a pricey 2 seater convertible- yeeha- would be fun to ride around in that thing.

Anyhow, out with the old and in with the new......

Hang in there, MsG, and I'm sending you good thoughts...

And I think the rememberance party for your friend sounds nice, and he sounds like someone who deserved to have good friends like you.

sd

January 19, 2009
5:19 pm
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
161sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hi SD. The HR guy sounds like a decent date..and 61? It's hard to admit we're middle aged...really, that isn't too old HA!Depends on the lifestyle he has. Having the same political bent can help. I don't know how Shwarzy and Shriver do it!

Eeesh. It's never what they say but what they do. Sometimes it's best to remain deaf and keep yer eyes wide open. Be like a Hawk, scanning the meadow.

Being alone? if only you can find someone you can trust and isn't getting sucked into the date-chat abyss so much, just to create an atmosphere for things to progress!
People have to make things so complicated. Harder than it should be.

I'm going to be 48 in a few weeks but I feel like I'm in my 20's or thirties mentally and somewhat physically. The sex part not so much.;0/

I manage with my work, but I know it will catch up to me if i keep this up for too long. I am planning to do the grunt work for 1-2 years more, gradually create the proper environment for the creative aspects of landscaping. Get my workshop going and have my studio set up. Maybe find Gov, funding to help.

Since I have this property, and know what? The best local nursery is up the road, wealthy clientelle, the busiest road between communities..if i can grab some traffic I'ld be in Heaven! Have my own little niche here. I could even consign my stuff at that nursery ( they sell all kinds of Garden decor) I can lanscape the front yard like a showcase ( i have over 100 ft frontage). Have huge swaths of colour, flowering perennials and shrubs. yeaaaahhhhhhh!

Trying to declutter my mind of all the toxic waste, family and relationship landfill. Yea, that stuff isn't far below the surface when you're still around "them".It just gets in the way and poisons what you want to move on to.

(I get a boost helping others out.... had a paraplegic in the store the other day and i got his items from the shelf. He purchased a scratch n Win card, asked me to pick it out. I jokingly told him if he wins big he has to give me a 25% cut...he laughed and said how about a trip to somewhere warm instead....I said "As long as there's no fighting, or wars going on"...He said " Hawaii!!" ( the guy has to maneuver his wheelchair through the snow covered sidewalks) WE were all kidding around. The guy has no use of his arms or legs and he's happy! WTF?!!Some people you can help and it doesn't drain you....My family Parents and sibs just suck my energy and I them. The dynamic will never change so why bother?)

Scapegoat purgatory..No thanks!

I wish I could get to where you are mentally. However I've realized the full picture recently and at least know where i need to go. I feel the switch happening already in my head. WOW!

Obviously part of it ( stress) is career related. This weekend I put my feelers out with the contractor about subbing. He said he hasn't even thought of the warm season start up, too busy and mired in snow removal ( he sounded exhausted, but he has a very level head and is fare, He keeps me in the loop and gave me more properties on the weekend...) He is restructuring a bit with a consultants help. He said he hasn't even met yet with the consultant about the season coming up and will keep me in mind, let me know as soon as he does. I have a feeling his consultant will tell him to clean house of marginal workers...unskilled liabilities, roughnecks( because his clients are mostly high end, I know some are complaining about the groundskeeping) There's a shift in the industry due to compensation and insurance costs, so lots are downsizing and subbing out. I buttered him up about my plant knowledge, pruning and design skills, plus the kind of equipment i have.Let me IN DUDE!!?

He makes 25% more than me, on each client, just due to locality...some of my new customers I need to drop but I can't do that til I have replacements.

Some people get a real break working in the same place and have supportive family ( MrD) It seems i can never rest.

I want to rest a bit and if it means removing myself more and more from family so be it!

I gotta aim my energies into turning this plot into a little paradise.

January 19, 2009
5:30 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
162sp_Permalink sp_Print

MsG: I LOVE the plan to landscape the front of your house so the nursery customers can see it- thats an awesome idea!! And put a big sign out there too- thats free advertising. Fantastic idea.

Also, with all of that space could you propagate and grown some shrubbery that you would use regularly? Doesn't have to be anything fancy just something tough that wouldn't need a lot of care, and then you could use your inventory in the designs as a staple. The nursery I worked at a long time ago had several acres of growing yards and my boss always wanted me to primarily use plants that he grew- more profit, no midleman for mark ups.

I had 2 calls today, didn't get to set up any appts but maybe things will be shaking lose a bit.

In the meantime I guess I'll just play with men ( he he). HR is cooking dinner for me and we're going to watch the Laker game.

I LIKE a man who's house I can go to. I LIKE a man that cooks for me, instead of me doing all the cooking. I LIKE man that does the dishes. And...he irons.

sd

January 19, 2009
6:37 pm
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
163sp_Permalink sp_Print

Yea...HIS HOUSE, HIS FOOD, yea... a man that doesn't suck yer teet like an infant or requires a Mummy ( your house, your food, etc.)

Yea..no crummy Velour green couch bare rooms or female matriarchs living, lingering, pontificating there. A nice clean convertable Beemer to cruise in!

A man that does the dishes, his own laundry, cleans, and can make ya come....YEAH!

Ok, I am propagating ideas for now.Any other propagation is up in the air. I haven't got a Greenhouse ( one is needed in Northern climates to have success) or Rototiller to prep the ground.

Maybe I should contact Extreme Makeover Home Edition....I think I'ld be eligible if they come to Canada!LOL.win the lottery ( ok gotta stay real here)

Using a manual Hoe ventures into sheer masochism, since I'm to the neck in physical labour already.

But I take note of that and file it for the proper time,hehe.

January 19, 2009
6:42 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
164sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hahahahha, I forgot about the green velour couch!!! HEEEEEEE!

Now THAT was quite a dating episode.

OK, I'll be on green velour couch alert.

You silly girl!!

sd

January 20, 2009
2:52 am
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
165sp_Permalink sp_Print

Well, I feel kinda ho hum about HR.

His apt is OK, at least neat and clean. Dinner was good, I ate a lot. We watched the Lakers and then I left, giving him a kiss and he of course wanted much more. He has Tourette's Syndrome- and I didn't detect anything odd last night but tonight while we were watching the game he was making some funny noises. Oh man, I don't think I could put up with much of that. He asked me to let him know what I would like to do next and to be honest I don't think I want to do anything. My heart's just not into it. Plus he lives kinda far. Maybe that can be my excuse to not continue.

Think maybe its best for me to take a break from dating and get over Sarge, don't know.

sd

January 20, 2009
8:29 am
Avatar
Friendma
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
166sp_Permalink sp_Print

((((((((((YA"LL))))))))))

January 20, 2009
9:05 am
Avatar
lovin life
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
167sp_Permalink sp_Print

((sd))....tourettes?!? man, you cannot catch a break!

but just so you don't feel all alone in this shitty game called dating, i will impart to you my hysterical 1st date from sat. night. i have been entertaining my friends with it all week!

so i am supposed to meet guy at a local bar at 8pm. i'm sittin there and my phone rings at 8:05pm. i'm like "yeeesss???" he says that he's having car trouble. he goes on and on about how he needed to drop off one car and pick up another..but the first car (that just came out of the shop the night before) is overheating again and the 2nd car he was picking up was dead. he then says he's close by. so i go "are you walking over?" he says no...could i come and jump him. i'm like "what???" i was shocked.

so i am driving over to this industrial area where the auto shop is and i call him to ask if i should turn left or right..he says right. i turn right and realize immediately that it must be the other way. so, still on the phone, i say "what the fuck, dude". he says sorry, sorry you should have turned left. seriously, i am pissed now. and triggered majorly (flashbacks of picking up my high ex in the middle of the night, etc).

so i get there and its a corvette (YUCK!) that is dead. so i open the hood of my car and he looks and says "where's the battery?" i say "I DON'T KNOW..and i'm not gettin dirty". apparently everything under the hood of my car is covered and in boxes (i never knew that! LOL) so he stands there scratching his head. i go back and look for the manual...maybe there's a picture. can't find one. so i come back out and say "just start opening things!" shit, i am in full blown triggermode with a guy i don't even know!

he gets it hooked up and it doesn't start. now i am sitting in my car, with the door open, listening to music. each time he tries it, it doesn't work. then he comes over by me and i say "it's not going to start". the 3rd time he comes over by me i say "can you throw a couple of those cats in the back? they look like they need rescuing too". he's mortified....yet laid back. i am slightly impressed with his demeanor under such heckling.

awful car starts, and we are off to the bar. we know mutual people, so we have a pretty decent time talking/playing pool. i continue to abuse him regularly about the car incident :()

so we leave and i walk over by his car to make sure it starts before i go, and he looks at me and says "do you have my keys?". OMG...he's SERIOUS!! he goes back inside and cannot find them. he comes back out and asks me if i would HELP him find them. no, really, dude???? have you no shame??? i go back in and find them for him and i am off.

oh, and he has the same name as my ex. just icing on the cake baby!

January 20, 2009
11:43 am
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
168sp_Permalink sp_Print

Ah, lovin life...........that was pretty damned funny. All this dating, my gosh, who could make these stories up, I tell ya??

You have to pity the poor men that are out there but geez louise, aren't there any normal decent men left? Or are they all kooks? And other women actually were married to these guys?? (scratching my head!!). Being single isn't so bad when you look at what you could end up with!

I think you should have given that guy a bill for services rendered!!

sd

January 20, 2009
1:01 pm
Avatar
lovin life
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
169sp_Permalink sp_Print

time/materials for jump: $100.00

key finding service: $50.00

stories to entertain your friends: priceless

🙂

still lovin

January 20, 2009
7:57 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
170sp_Permalink sp_Print

Its almost guaranteed that there will ALWAYS be stories!

G man, where ya hiding? Between the sheets somewhere, are ya??

Awhile back you said something about dating cops not being such a good idea. I wonder, now that my particular episode of "Cops" is over, could you elaborate? Trying to put this all to rest in my head.

sd

January 21, 2009
10:37 am
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
171sp_Permalink sp_Print

((G-Man)) had an accident and doesn't tell anyone he's gone for a while like I do.

Yea.I say>>"i'm taking a break"....and here i am!

Gawd I'm so pathetic!LOL..just spilling a few things here and there.I talk recipes, family and try to help a woman in crisis ( which spurrs some unwanted attention and spleen *sigh*)

G-man recedes.

I wish I could do that, keep my word when i say..."I won't be around"

That's a female for ya!HA! yak yak YAK!

Seems when disaster hits, you're down emotionally, and you engage with others, the return is all over the map.....yea, a reflection.

I should be more like G-man.hehe

;0/

Anyway, some good news. I sold one of my Snowblowers so the cash helps a bit. Payments are rolling in from clients and the contractor. It's all "Goooood as it gets".hehe

The personal/family stuff is just *ugh* so I'll spare ya's.

Yea! More "Tales From the Dating Crypt!" er "Theme Park"(?)

(((sdesigns, glittered, lovin life, Friendma, bevdee, Hep.and readers)))

Onward and Oopsward!

January 21, 2009
11:25 am
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
172sp_Permalink sp_Print

Congrats on getting $$, MsG.

I have an honest to god paying appt on Friday- yay!

I don't know about you but I get in these $$ slumps but something always come thru sooner or later, its just learning not to panic and ride it out.

I have another little bitty job I could work on but haven't. When I have NO pressure I can be very undisciplined and procrastinate.

Hopefully that will be ending soon and I can get my rear in gear.

sd

January 21, 2009
12:18 pm
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
173sp_Permalink sp_Print

Thanks ((sd))

Also life gets in the way right? My family BS, and your dating?
Both are drainng, and not bringing the returns.
I so understand why some people get so wrapped up in work when their personal life doesn't give positive dividends.

So my son got the stomach flu last night. He was up all night sick.Maybe food poisoning, maybe Norwalk virus.
It's exam week and he had one this morning.
MrD doesn't beleive he's sick. NICE! I've seen him in and out of the bathroom all morning,He was up all night but I didn't hear him, and he was vomitting when MrD took the dog for a walk. D somehow thinks this has happened before with other exams but it hasn't.

There just seems no leeway, or support when my kid trips and falls, but MrD can neglect his Car, his bills, be a finacial disaster for all his adult life ( not keep up regular maintenance, gets in an accident because his brakes FAILED, end up with over $2000 in repairs , not including body work!!!>???, and his health, trip and fall, and his parents, or I bail him out???)

Yea. He has Parents who enable him. A never ending pool of resource, but My son gets nada from him.
Since we've been together his parents have given him almost $38,000 due to his screw ups and shitty attitude. His inability to support himself and be responsible.

This is very serious. When is it going to end?

I comment on how it is so wrong what they do and he says I'm jealous.....HUH!?

Yea jealous he's an avoidant, dependent baby?

Yea, it feels great that I carry the load of responsibility, and make sure all the bills are paid on time. Does he forget that I am like a bank too? He's always in arrears.....it's NEVER the other way around. He NEVER pays up front for my "stuff".

And guess what? My truck needs repairs, or something major needs to be pruchased ( lawn mowers, snow blowers, LCD Tv, furniture, Dishes, a canoe, etc, etc.) I PAY FOR IT, not him, not my parents!

He can't seem to tolerate in others what is so weak within himself.I'm so glad i never had anymore children with him cause he would be a lousy father.

Well my concern is letting my son know he is loved and supported when he trips or stands tall. This kind of thing just erodes him from within and shuts him down even more.

Mrd said that my sons "illness" is driving a wedge, and went on to say he's irresponsible for not going to a 2 hour exam, putting me through Doctors apts...etc.....My reply was.."RIGHT! just like how you handle your brakes? your health? Your finances? How many option and sick days have you taken so far this year?"

He's taken 2 days off so far due to the accident, and his friends death.

I don't feel burdened helping my kid when he needs it, but MrD doesn't afford others the way he behaves, is F'n emotionally bankrupt!?

He didn't have to take work off when his friend passed...there was no funeral that day? he just felt "sad"....maybe i should've been a bitch, give no sympathy, tell him to toughen up and think about the bills he always falls behind on? Go to work because HE can't afford to be fragile for one day?!

I am so P'O'd at him right now.
My Moms' in Hospital, another freind of the family has passed from heart failure on Monday, My son is sick today and I'm arranging his sppt. for a doc note, so he can re-write exam...and i woke up today calm.

MrD has been angry all morning over what? Somebody doesn't hold the standards he himself can't reflect!!?? Tossing hurtfull comments around to my sons face!!!

Being a selfish heartless ass is what!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr

January 21, 2009
1:00 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
174sp_Permalink sp_Print

MsG: It seems to center around that MrD is NOT head of household and has no desire to be. Without you at the reins he would be no where, would have nothing. And he doesn't seem to recognize that or even care. He seems a bit self centered for it to always be about him, not prepared for a rainy day, not fully contributing.

And you're doing everything with all the other crap going on- your mom and family, your son, etc. And MrD just concerns himself with his own well being.

Your shoulders are only so big, MsG!!

Maybe scale back and see what happens. Maybe define your roles to MrD and expect him stick to it. (He won't like it, I'm sure!)

Can you have a discussion with him about finances? Say "here's what our monthly bills are, your share is ___________ and you need to have the money to me by (set a date/ per month)- BEFORE the payment is due.

If there are common purchases made (TV for example) he would have to come up with half, etc. He seems to ride on your coattails on all the extra stuff, and I don't blame you a bit for being resentful. He needs to pay his fair share at least. It must be exhausting to always have to kick him in the ass about this stuff. Time for him to grow up and be an adult! He'd probably be happy with one plate, one fork, all mismatched, whatever! but appreciates the things you provide for him.

Its draining to always be the one who extends themself. I guess since I am alone I would resent having to do that for a man, and I am appreciative when a man extends himself to me. And thats probably when I get in trouble in dating, when I feel like I am doing to much and getting little back- its not worth it! I would love to be taken care of just a little bit, and relieved having to do everything myself. A partnership? what a concept!

((((MsG))))

sd

January 21, 2009
3:43 pm
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
175sp_Permalink sp_Print

Yea.you should've seen the email I sent him...HOOOwee!

My son IS sick. He got diagnosed at the doctors. We just got back. He has fever, Norwalk (24 hr flu). His eyes are hollowed, can't keep anything down. HA! So he's sent to his room with som eflat soda, a warm Duvet and cable TV.LOL

No doubt MrD will come home with his tail between his legs, but this dance is getting so tired!

I won't dispute any of what you said. It's difficult seeing that MrD hasn't grown much. His behaviour today magnifies this more ( and his car, a few other recent finacial issues) he's going deeper in the red financially dispite his parents help...NOBODY can help enough and they shouldn't!!

He's been trying to fool me.

It must be nice to have a company as a serogate parent too. Got the benefits and retirement plan....just go there and be a good little worker bee. And HE complains of stress?HA! Poor baby.

He hasn't been through 1/8 what I have and he shuts down, or gripes like a spoilt child.

If my customers call I worry about him being rude and innapropriate. Some can be a bother, but difficult customers have to be coddled a bit. He can just let the answering service go on.

Hm, maybe it's just his shitty attitude? wah!

Anyway, as for you!
Maybe taking a dating break, concentrating on work is the best thing. Focus on your friends and non-sexual contacts. How's Ju_Mama?

Sometimes a good vibrator is the best thing.

I may get some new batteries for mine!

This year is going to be a killer for everyone workwise, and it's not the time to procrastinate.

Sound like a plan?

damn.....I could just run away....maybe next year!

I need to get some food in me....it's been a sucking day!
Be well!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111143
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
ronaldcarter, Andrewank, petterson20, KarlWalter, ChristopherStanley, OsbornWebb
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information