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MsG:::::
December 31, 2008
3:49 pm
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Happy New Year, MsG and Glittered: Here's a toast to a much better 2009 for all of us.

I met Sarge for lunch again yesterday and it was OK. He called Monday night to ask me to meet him yesterday- very short notice but since I'm not busy, I agreed. I am super wary of him now (just my own insecurities screaming)so I just wanted to do some listening and see how things played out. He told me about his exwife, for one thing. Get this- she's a lesbian. Didn't expect THAT story. But at least I don't have to worry that he's still playing around with her!

We're not getting together tonight- he says he spends it with his kids. I'm trying not to doubt him but I can't help but wonder.

Supposedly we're going to get together over the weekend. He said today that he realized he doesn't know much about my background (UNDERSTATEMENT!) and wants to spend time hearing about me and also to look at evaluating this past year and set some goals for the new one.

I think this all sounds positive but it still scares me. He's going to be making some big changes soon- ex will be moving into the house and he'll be moving out. He admits to not trusting himself with women and making mistakes in the past by moving too quickly, but he did say he wants to be married again when he's 55- in 3 1/2 years.

I appreciate that he talks to me about these things, and I think he's just realizing that he's revealing more of himself than I am. So, should be interesting.

I hope everything is going well for you guys- I hope for lots of positive change for all of us next year.

Love yous, sd

December 31, 2008
10:15 pm
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(((((((MSG))))))

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

January 1, 2009
11:51 am
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Happy New year ALL!

((((aLiEn))))

Big squoosheez for u too!

I went to work On Dec. 31....white knuckled my way on the snowy highway to my jobs, made it safely and made some $$....so I got past the "trauma" for now. My Son was a huge help, but he worked with MrD's boots on, which are too small...He was too sleepy to see his? Teens! My contractor showed up at one of the properties and we touched base. I haven't seen him since our interview 2 years ago!LOL..strange.....I guess he was checking up on my "situation" and saw i was doing well, gave me some more work......whew!

Yea.it was still dark outside and couldn't see the damage on my truck, HA!

( the insurance calls are coming, one of the the other drivers is trying to sue so far..we'll just see...)

Anyway, since we went out at 5 am, and I got 4 hrs sleep the night before, my New Years Eve was shot..We had 2 parties to go to and decided to stay home, watch the Niagara Falls New years on TV with Supertramp playing...it was really cool. We're having our friends by on the weekend so.....

So we decided to celebrate Chinese New Year, January 26th. Pick up or construct some of those floating lanterns, that get launched into the sky, on the appropriate date, and have our own ceremony in the backyard.

((Sd))You're in Deep waters now with Sarg, hopefully all he cares about is you're honesty. I don't think he would judge you for the dysfunctional family stuff...He's had enough of his own Chaos it seems.
HIs X is getting the house? Is the divorce final and that was part of the settlement?

(Geez, wish I could've been smart enough to find one of those, but i got this damaged prideful thing goin on, hehe).

That's big scary stuff, so possibly you two are tredding deep waters together, and providing floatation inspiration.

I understand completely why you are holding the cards close....It just isn't as easy for women to reveal, we just don't get the same leeway, or are allowed screw ups. It doesn't feel right putting ourselves in a position for rescue either. Not leading the stereotyupical lifestyle seems to come down on us harder.

Maybe you'll be a part of that 3 1/2 yr. plan?! I'm always cheering you on.

I hear being in the 50's are huge transitional times in relationships, and it gets easier to find permanence in a partner.( perhaps people feel their mortality, can't cling to youth so much anymore?)

Sarg was never a player so talk about a huge plus!

Glittered...are you having intimacy withdrawls? I wondering what New Years led you to do or not do?HA! With all those ladies oscilating around, you could of been pretty busy..I picture a pack of kitty's clawing at a frosted window, just begging to come near the glitter-mun.

It's time to put away the xmas decorations, so i better get off the PC ( MrD has started alone and is starting to get impatient)

I'm PmS'ing..gawd I hope I get through this one ok.
Time for a Shmoke 'N a Pancake! Isn't Dat VIERD!!?

*sigh*
Be Well!

January 1, 2009
12:44 pm
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Happy New Year, MsG!!!!

A quiet NY here too, I was in bed by 10 p.m. Worked on my year end books yesterday, will tackle the taxes today, then I'm done.

Yeah, I'm sensing that Sarge is going to stick around for awhile.

Thats the second time I've been to his office and he wants me to come down again soon so we can go to China Town for lunch. I'm getting him interested in the things to see right there in downtown (architecture, historical bldgs, plazas)- I think I know more about it and HE works there- so I think he's getting more adventuresome about it. His experience w/ downtown is more on the ugly side and he refers to "the ghetto" where he used to be a street cop.

As far as the house, I think its just so the kids and their mom can live together, and I don't think there's going to be a money or title transfer.

He was telling me at lunch that he will be making big changes this year and that is one of them. I had never asked about the wife or why the kids live with him instead of her. So,....when he told me the story that she was a lesbian it sort of made sense. The daughter (18) knows, the son (10)doesn't. Apparently after the son was born 10 years ago the lesbian thing came to a head and they slept in dif rooms and then she moved out. They are still very good friends- he calls her his best friend- so all seems to be OK on that end. I am thinking she must approve of me since she's helping with his dating. He has even met some of her lesbian girlfriends.

He was asking me for my opinion as to the financial decisions he has to make, and I was flattered that he wanted to know what I thought. I suggested that the ex give him some money in exchange for her getting to live in the house, and he could use that for a down payment for something for himself.

He has told me about some of the ladies he has dated, and they all move PDQ to get their hooks into him. One widow wanted him to move him with her, said she had lots of $$ and he wouldn't have any worries. Another Christian lady wanted him to do "3 ways".

He got a text from another while we were at lunch and he told me he quit seeing her about 3 months ago, but she keeps trying. He went back once- she was offering a friends with benefits type of deal- but she went right back to being clingy, and he's apparently not interested.

He told me that he uses the kid situation as a way to keep him self somewhat unavailable to women, but also to keep himself in check because he doesn't trust himself when it comes to women and is afraid he'll hook up too quickly, like he's done in the past. I couldn't believe he was honest enough to tell me that.

He apologizes to me for not being able to spend more time with me- and here I am telling him not to worry about it, I haven't said anything at all that I am complaining, and told him not to pressure himself about me. Maybe thats something new to him, don't know.

So, he is thinking about what he's going to do. When he speaks he uses examples like "if we were living together" or "if we were married" then blah blah blah. We talked about my place being too small plus how he would feel just moving into someone else's place (like it wouldn't be his), and he thinks its best to get a new place together. So- I think he does have some goals and is thinking about how he's going to approach them- not necessarily with me- just in general.

I told him he should set a boundary for himself as to when he's going to hookup with someone and promise himself to follow it but he doesn't think he can do it!

He's got women coming at him in all directions, even a married woman that he trains with wants to have a fling. He doesn't realize what a great guy he is, and that body- OMG! Buns of steel! He's very naive about women coming on to him, he discusses things with the ex and she tells him. Kinda funny.

Anyhow, if we DO end up having this convo about reflection and goals, I think it will be very interesting. From what I know so far, 3 1/2 year plan would work for me!! But we shall see- yikes!

Yeah, there's some dysfuction in his family- I haven't heard all of it- I know his father is alive but he never speaks of him. And he doesn't see his oldest son much- in fact he came to his ofc recently and that was the first time Sarge had seen him in uniform (also a cop) and he got emotional over it. So definitely more to his story.

MsG: Glad your snowy adventure worked out OK, but I sure wish you didn't have to do that. Now don't get overconfident since the truck already has a dent and get all destruction derby out there.

Oh Gawd, someone wants to sue? Will the insurance cover it if they do?

Have you incorporated your biz to protect your personal assets? In a case like this, it may be a good idea- then they could only go after the biz and not your house, if it were to go that far.

I haven't incorporated and I probably should, just another expense I don't want. I'm not even renewing my biz license this year since I have no work right now and don't know when I will.

Do you think you'll get more referrals from the contractor you hooked up with?

Enjoy your parties- and a big ol' toast to the New Year, girlfriend!! Better times ahead!

sd

January 1, 2009
12:45 pm
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this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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((((MsG)))) ((((SD))))) Just wanted to slip in here and say Happy New Year to you both. I hope everything works out with your truck MsG . I wish you both the bestest.
Love, horsefly

January 1, 2009
12:49 pm
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Happy New Year to you too, Horsefly!!!!

sd

January 1, 2009
1:16 pm
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Forgot to tell ya what he said about sex!!

He said men get hooked by the physical part and women get hooked by the emotional part- and I commented that men are able to have sex without getting emotionally connected. And he said that the men who do that are missing out and having both the emotional and physical which is so much better. And he was looking me straight in the eye and just kept looking at me. Whew- my stomach was doing flip flops. Yikes- it makes me squirm when he does stuff like that.

January 2, 2009
12:35 pm
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We just got back from a long hike searching for deer.I tracked one and saw it...The boys ( MrD and Dog) didn't!
Now that I know I can track I may get closer to hunting.Only if someone else will dress the kill.....sounds cruel to some?
Well I'm a back to basics reality type gal so.....hehe

Sd.I think it's great that Sarg is so even keel and accepting of his X wife..no drama or hatred toward her. I just love that! I think it's healthier to have extended relationships than being so exclusive and cut off from the opposite sex...contact doesn't mean cheating. It's so much healthier for their kids to see them getting along without the freeze outs or arguments.
Gawd! He sounds so generous in spirit and physicality....and not being possesive of him, letting things progress naturally is perfect!

Looks like he doesn't want to invest in a jealous, uptight sort and he found that in you. It's probably a plus you don't get all angryand controlling when he gets calls.

But with all this heavy talk and carrot dangling when do you reveal how attached you're getting? Looks like he runs away when other women do that.
Sounds like he's looking for an equal, independent sort.Well that's YOU!

I was thinking if you 2 do end up together, buy a shared house, and you could rent your condo for a while ( maybe 5-10 yrs) as part of an investment strategy and security for yourself. By that time the economy would recover and you'ld have a nice retirement. I know I don't have to explain to you!LOL

About the contractor. I am thinking along those lines. He does large construction projects so if i can sell my design abilities, if he'ld consider freelancing me, then this would be a good transition away from the labour.

I am going to pick up a check later today, and I'm going to work on this in the next few months, feel things out and see if i can fit in there.
I remove snow from one property right on the Lake that his company designed and constructed....I don't know who does his designs, or how he's set up, but I do know he is looking to replace some staff.

He combines natural stone and pavers, plant material looks interesting, so I know he is quite advanced and has an aesthetic i appreciate...plus the wealthy client base.

Getting into his "inner business sanctum" could be vicarious so I'll have to see......It's just so crazy competitive.

If I'm going to progress anywhere right now I have to find a larger contractor to team up with.

Sd....I think I'm at a crossroads and some big changes are coming...I don't know if my present life will go with those changes. All i know is i have to move ahead, and what gets left behind..is probably dead wieght anyway.

I still feel bored and unfulfilled and that isn't good at all.

Be Well!

January 2, 2009
1:37 pm
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MsG: Happy New Year.

Sounds like you've been doing some heavy thinking and are preparing for some serious changes.

You're talking about MrD, right?

I think you have a lot of drive, are ambitious in a common sense sort of way, just wanting to be secure and safe. You get goals and follow thru, are level headed about life and where you want to go. You're a thinker and a planner.

Your partner is not.

I don't want to put down MrD, he DOES have good qualities but the question is whether you are on the same page and do you have the same life goals.

He came into your life at a time when he made a good fit. You were cautious and level headed then too about whether to let him in.

But in the 13-14 years you've been together you have changed and grown by leaps and bounds. Can you say the same about him?

Maybe you're not on the same life path anymore.

People change and you've been together for years so its not something that has happened overnight. You've become a responsible and confident woman in your own right and maybe now your life has changed enough that you need someone who is more aligned to what you want and need. Or maybe no one at all for the time being.

There's nothing wrong with pursuing your own happiness and goals. If MrD isn't going to go in the same direction I can see where you'd feel you were pulling him along, maybe he has his feet dug in the ground and doesn't want to go. And that would leave you feeling empty and unfullfilled.

I'm sure you feel a loyalty to him but maybe that loyalty shouldn't be to the detriment of your own happiness. I think you need a stronger man because you are a strong woman.

I hope I'm gpoing out of bounds by saying some of that. But I think if you're going to have a man in your life he should be someone who adds value to your life, not detracts from it. And MrD hasn't really acted like he cares too much about that aspect of your relationship.

Sounds like the contact with the contractor amy be a good one. Hopefully you can have some sort of entry convo about future collaboration, maybe confidently tell him what you can offer and provide for him, make him see a NEED for your services and how it would be beneficial to HIM.

As for my condo, we are only allowed to rent it out for a year and thats a one time only thing. So that part of this investment is NOT a good thing. IF I were to hook up with Sarge (trying not to think about it too much really) I would want to sell and take the money. Its paid for so it would be available $$ for a huge downpayment.

BUT but but....like I said, trying not to even think about a future with Sarge. I think he's almost fantasizing about his future and don't know the reality of it. He has lots of people who depend on him and I don't know if he's being realistic about what he can do. We haven't discussed a lot of things and there's lots I don't know (and VS).

For one thing his 86 y/o aunt also lives with him so I doubt the ex would want her staying there. And his Mom stays there occasionally to get away from her 2 other GROWN sons that live with her. I am keeping my mouth SHUT about that- but I think those men should get out of mommie's house and the aunt should go live there. But NONE of my business!!

Don't know when I'll be seeing Sarge- he said sometime this weekend but we set no plans. Actually he wanted to nail down a time and I was a bit evasive- said it was up to him since he's so busy and I am not. And at the time he was driving home and was thinking about other stuff so I didn't push. All I know is that IF I don't see him this weekend- another 5 day weekend for him- and he doesn't make time, I'm going to have to think about the reality of his availability. We have had this discussion before- I thought he was very unavailable and he was telling me he was available- so I'll just wait and see.I'm giving him lots of space but at the same time if he wants to keep me around he's going to have to spend a bit of time with me.

I KNOW he's dangling carrots, but I am going to try to not even look at them right now!

sd

January 2, 2009
2:04 pm
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There's no reason to be defensive about anything you said about MrD(((sdesigns))
I knew you'ld understand. You hit the nail on the head.

Deep inside there are huge gaps in our realtionship and i feel he holds me back by his inaction, inability to contribute to goals like i do.

He pays our vehicle insurance and doesn't want me to claim the ruck. He says the insurance will go up.....It's pretty low now! So WTF??? I make my payments, pay my repairs, gas......everything..the bills hald n half.
I gotta drive a beat up truck around? That looks really professional. These guys with beat up trucks never seem to get anwhere or prosper.

Yea I feel weighed down by him. Life is getting shorter and i have to just follow my dreams.

Right now I don't feel like i have an equal partner, and am tired of playing all the roles.

Happy (frikken) New Year!LOL

January 2, 2009
2:37 pm
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Happy (frikken) New Year!LOL

Well, hopefully not the frikken part!

MsG, thats just another example of how MrD doesn't support you and what you do. He should understand the importance of a good biz image and in turn that would benefit HIM if your biz is successful.

That sort of made me sick to read that. He really shouldn't have any input on how you conduct your biz since he isn't a contributor. Maybe taking over the insurance from him, using it as a writeoff for the biz and let him pay YOU a portion of the cost would out things more in balance for YOU and put you in control. And maybe doing things like that- little moves to put you in control- will make it easier to make the changes you seem inclined toward. Separate things a bit more, be less enmeshed with him.

((((MsG))))

sd

January 2, 2009
8:50 pm
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Here's something I am thinking about Sarge.

I STILL haven't heard from him about this weekend. And he's been online a LOT.

So, I think I'm being played.

The things I liked about him initially- that he did what he said, would follow thru, make plans, etc- have kind of gone by the wayside. Its seeming very gamey to me now.

I don't like the fact that his lesbian wife is coaching him. I wonder what her motives are, but it seems to me she's teaching him how to play games.

And thats not going to work for me.

So, here's some more.

He said that she had some lesbian affairs while they were married. And after she moved out, she and her gf had him over for dinner. After dinner they told him to get comfy and watch some TV and they disappeared...into the bedroom...and then called him in...to come in and watch.

He also said his ex is going to teach him some ways to please a woman. Shouldn't he already know? Why would he agree to engage in that?

He also said he's not angry that she's a lesbian, and didn't tell him. I thought perhaps there would be some anger since she betrayed and deceived him by not telling him she was gay, and he spent 10 years of his 17 year of marriage in a loveless and nonphysical marriage. And also that she cheated on him during the marriage with women.

He said he'd probably be upset if she cheated with a guy, but since she did it with a woman, he felt it had nothing to do with him.

I am feeling REALLY squirmy about this and am starting to think he is very weak, and lets women push him around. And thats not attractive to me.

GAWD, what a weird freaking situation!

sd

January 3, 2009
12:57 pm
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Oh dear....I just have to write about this....sorting it all out.

I could kick myself on my big ol' butt for getting involved with Sarge. I think he's quite smooth and a charmer. I was reading the Dangerous Man book last night about Emotionally Unavailable men, and he's all OVER the place. I actually cracked up a few times laughing, he's really very transparent.

Seems I've been dumped? or I don't know, but it has definitely changed and gone south. He's got plenty of women to play with I think and his story flip flops from being available to not being available. I think he has a HUGE ego and likes the attention. So, NO CONTACT for him.

Now GQ is amping things up. The last time I was at his house and we were swapping dating stories, he asked if I would ever get married.I said sure, if the right guy were to come along. I was curious about that question but didn't follow up. NOW he has been emailing constantly and this morning he's getting all sentimental about our first (and only) big kiss in summer of '08! (3rd date) and saying he was aroused his whole way home.

We have never even come close to having sex, its been platonic as far as I am concerned.

But maybe I need to explore this and get Sarge O U T of my system. Maybe GQ is awesome in bed- who knows? Missed opportunity?

Or maybe I just need to give up men and realilze I am supposed to be alone. This dating crap just wears me out and I seem to end up empty handed every time.

Bleh.

sd

January 4, 2009
12:53 am
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OK, so I flip out every now and then. Why can't I r e l a x about these things?

Sarge called today and is coming over tomorrow for dinner. We're going to use the rice bowls he gave me for Xmas and have lemon chicken and rice and tea ( and wine). Should be nice, and I am hoping to talk to him about some "stuff". Maybe if I had answers I wouldn't get so squirmy. It sure is hard in the beginning, isn't it? At least for me- uncertainty and insecurity.

He's been sick for 2 days and not been able to move, walking with a cane today. Yikes.

sd

January 4, 2009
10:59 pm
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Hee hee awww SD..here ((SD))

so i'm getting mixed signals from you about sarge. He's online a lot but was incommunicado. Then you speak to him and now he's coming over and he was sick. You sound torn, but i'll bet as he is charming, you are pretty forgiving, maybe? sounds like maybe you and he might need to have the relationship talk...like "what are your thoughts about us?"

Do you want to be exclusive with him? Don't take this as an indictment OK..but just as you are keeping options open with GQ, maybe sarge is also keeping options open with another or others? what concerns me is that he sounds serious with you, but is still shopping around. idk about that. and I'm curious..why would he tell you about his gay ex and a g/f and being in bed and inviting him in? why? I would be leery of sharing that info with my prospective girl... ya know? well..I'm leery of sharing that info NOW lemme tell ya...lol...I might have made the same mistake as he anyway. Unwise of him to dish out that gem if he's not interested in the ex..because now you (as would any other woman romantically current with him) might have concerns about the ex and it could cloud your feelings for him...for good reason. I would want to get some things straight with him..I mean at some point a couple either continues to grow close and gets exclusive, or you move on.

Just back from out of town. went to see my old flame from years ago. fun times...don't think it's anywhere permanent, but it sure was fun for us. : )

January 5, 2009
12:39 am
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So..........glittered, no details about the old flame?? HUh huh huh?

I'm driving myself crazzzzzzy about Sarge.

He didn't come over tonight- his foot still hurts PLUS he had to go rescue his daughter (broken down car). The plan is for him to come over tomorrow now. I'm giving him lots of rope, and if he wants to see me I am leaving it up to him. So far he's front and center.

I like Sarge a LOT- more than anyone I've met in a very long time. And that scares the crap outta me.

You're not the only one that is concerned! I think he acts serious too- the way he talks about us, and the things he wants to do. I'm trying not to suck it all up- but dang- it sure gets me to thinking.

I have divulged very little about myself, past relationships etc, and I just let him talk- and boy, does he. The ex situation is an odd one (ya think?)so I'm keeping my ears wide open.

GQ is a backup plan, I'm not really attracted to him in anything more than a friend. But he's been putting out lots of signals lately. But compared to Sarge, not even close to lighting my fire. I'd like to keep him as a good friend but I really don't think I could go farther with him. He's a caretaker and I think he would absolutely smother me, for one thing. And then of course there's THE PARENTS. That situation just ain't ever gonna happen for me! I'm not physically attracted to him, and when he kissed me 2 summers ago- I thought well OK, maybe, but that flame has sort of gone out for me. I think he would only be a distraction for me, and thats not fair to him. So I'm going to try and keep him at arms length for now.

Nite all..........

sd

January 5, 2009
7:40 pm
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Holy Toledo!

Just had along convo with Sarge about our Dads, AND his is the same as mine, in that he's a miser, is a withholder, etc. Its really quite amazing we have the same background as far as fathers.

He said he's never spoken to anyone who understands about it, and wants to have more in depth comvoa about it. He hasn't had contact with his Dad for 20 years.

So I am relieved on one hand that now I don't have to worry about what he'll think, and that we actually have that in common.

Amazing.

sd

January 5, 2009
11:19 pm
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SD,

wow..so you had a talk about your dad with sarge..that's a big convo..unless you glossed/skimmed.

I see your point about GQ and sarge. I do still think it odd of him to share that nugget with you...but well i guess it's not that odd..I'm a big blabber mouth and I'd have probably spilled that too..LOL..altho...I am learning: Not all things should be shared so quickly...some gems have to be earned.

details? you want details about my trip? Well, my dry spell is over. and we'll let's just say a very hard rain fell for about 24 hours..lol.

My concern tho is this. It's been 10 years and she lives 5 hours away. My daughters live here, hers there..she has a great job there. Where is this going? and it's different now. as it was then was a torrid love affair..very intense emotions. Now 10 years and those things haven't just "flamed right back on" I mean...there's emotions and caring but love? heavens not yet....and I don't know that there will be. and it's nothing physical..I mean she looks BETTER now than she did then. she looks great i think she's like a size 2. It's who she is or who i became...it's different somehow. I want to continue to date others..and I will.

This latest fishy is something else...VERY hot. I mean so attractive i found myself thinking "what is this hotty doing with me" I mean i know I'm reasonably attractive and am interesting, but this woman is a head turner. she was voted best body in high school, homecoming queen..and let me tell you...it doesn't look like much has changed since then. seriously if i had to guess I;d say she's 38 24 34. The twin girls could be fake..i dunno. But beyond all that i just like talking to her. She's something of a good girl, but that's very appealling and she didn't run off when i told her that I adhere to no religion. In fact, that I have a dislike for organized religion...because on the whole i think it is troublesome. I'm all for people being better humans and of if it means they use a religion to get there, great...just don't shove intolerance or your view of the great and powerful oz down my throat.

anywho..I am making a date with Ms (accepting nominations for this ones name..let's call her Miss Sharon Tate? Miss Barbie? lol this Friday. I'll say this much for Fish..it has made me be a much better date. I don't really get nervous anymore, just excited. Or maybe that's just self confidence born from wisdom and experience..I dunno. But it's a good thing for me..because as a younger man If I liked a woman I;d goof it up. : ) A Bumbling boob who;d be too eager to impress. and I would notice that the women who were attracted to me were the ones i had treated as I would a friend.

But I still do the gentlemanly stuff...opening doors, paying (unless she insists on half, or insists on treating), waiting until she is seated, etc. I like that old school stuff. I can treat a woman like an equal and a lady at the same time can't I? hee hee...well I do.

MsG...what's up? you OK? Tell me some good news. Like, you hit the Canadian lottery and have a new fleet of trucks or something. : )

January 6, 2009
12:15 am
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Hi guys.sorry I haven't been around. I haven't been on the computer all weekend for anything!

Took down all the decorations ( the ususal after New years cleanse)

I'm okay! Just spending time with friends, watching the International Jr Hockey tournie.Canada won for the fifth time Yippeeee!

....and Mom had a cellulitis flair up: lower legs are like swollen stumps, and inflamed, had to take her to the doctor.

SD..I was going to say to ease up on Sarg a bit, and tell him what's on your mind next time..his time on line..really. It doesn't look good.
Let him know your fears, a bit.
Getting intimate with him is going to screw with your emotions...just realize other women will find him very desirable, so they will flock..and he isn't good at saying no..I doubt he has time to date anyone, so being online is better than being out?

I would tell him to be less flagrant with his "future" plans, unless he is serious with you. Save the nesting talk for when your actually planning to do it together.No need for all the build up in case of a let down.

I think it's time to open up more, and you can tell him why you haven't. He can probably deeply understand the being judged part....I think he's a safe bet for revealing vulnerabilities.

Dating is always "dangerous" but somehow i don't think he is dangerous in the context of the book....H'es just scared, and not wanting to screw up, just like you ( but in his way)..and he obviously is a "friend" type man who likes women in general.
Taking things slow is healthier, so maybe he's trying to be less intense?

Some people rush in and it works...do you know any?besides our parents? lol(but they don't really work either, necessity and old fashioned values kept them together....)
(((SD)))...you don't have to play the happy go lucky woman all the time..nothing wrong with sharing some of the blemishes/fears, especially now since you have your Dads in common......Have you told him how much you like him? That you feel like you're "falling"?..maybe he's waiting for that?

Bloody guy has already said he ran when other women got heavy.....Geez, he makes it hard!
All of this chemistry and commonality has to mean something!

Glittered...I vote for Ms10!.....sure sounds like a no ass 10...lol.....hm...petite I guess.How the hell do you manage to go from Lost to Fantasy Island?HA!
Wish I could do that!

No lottery for me, but i am getting some stimulating ideas born from frustration and sheer impatience. Lets just see what 2009 will culminate into.
Anybody know a good BED? ( Brain Enema Doctor?)LOL

The only bed i'm getting now will be a mattress.It's late here.
I may be sporatic here latley but i will check in and reply twice a week at least. Much love!

TNT! Be Well!

January 6, 2009
12:21 am
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Glittered: Of course I don't know what you look like, but from what you write and how you write you're a hottie personality wise. You treat women well, are kind and courteous and show interest, you do some really sweet things,you're funny and sensitive, I'm sure most women are delighted to meet you. So don't ever wonder why someone would be with you- you're a hot commodity yourself.

As far as the old flame, well its hard to keep things going when there is so much distance. Of course you should date others- is she trying to put her hooks into you? You'd be giving up a lot if you moved there- like seeing your girls, so I have a feeling that wouldn't be a realistic plan for you. But occasional playtime might work, huh?

Was the new hottie bragging about her body? or did you just get that out of her? Just wondering- if she knows she's hot and flaunts it to attract men? You think there's some substance too?

How about "Bunny" for playboy bunnyish ta ta's?

Sarge is such a mixed bag. He has this innocence and vulnerability about him that is very endearing.But his appearance is so masculine (OH YEAH!), and of course his job is masculine too. And he easily talks about his feelings and expresses himself- much more than I. For instance today he said he can't wait to see me again- no guy ever says that kind of stuff to me. But once he says things like that I open up more.

Anyhow, the thing with our fathers is extremely interesting, and so we were talking more about our thoughts on money since its just natural to discuss that due to our miser fathers. He was again asking my advice on financial matters and he makes and has much much more than I do.

And no, I didn't gloss or skim over things. His father is even worse than mine as far as the $$ thing, didn't think that was possible. I think there's some abandonment issues there too.

Sarge didn't come over tonight since his foot is still bad and he has a cold- so this convo was over the phone. But he's anxious to get over here (me too!).

MsG: Come out, come out, wherever you are!!

sd

January 6, 2009
12:37 am
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HI Msg!! We cross posted. Good to "see" you!

I know what you mean about Sarge.

He has SAID that he doesn't know about dating- not having the time etc- but then he acts so anxious and engaging. It IS confusing for me. I am TRYING to hold back but then he brings things out of me.

I'll just have to wait til the right time to discuss it with him, don't want to scare him off. And I did tell him that one reason that I bolted awhile back was that I liked him too much- that he was unavailable AND he wasn't acting casual like we had originally discussed, and I was afraid of being hurt. So he DOES know. And he poured it on pretty thick then too. I think he's confused too, but the ball is definitely in HIS court.

Glad you're doing some thinking- hope you come up with some good solutions. Take you time with it though- I know you will!

sd

January 6, 2009
1:02 am
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SD..firstly..thanks for the kind words. who i look like is apparently either sean penn or eric roberts or patrick dempsey on a good day...depends on who you ask. I do know that i'm a good catch hon..it's not THAT disarming. I know who I am, and i am an above average looking guy who has a very engaging personality. It's just that she is probably the most attractive woman that's been intersted in me. she's even more attractive than the ex wife, who is/was an attractive woman.

No..Ms Bunny10 did not offer those gems unsolicited..i asked what kind of a kid she was growing up. So I asked and she answered. She does not seem to lord her looks over anyone.

But she did tell me while we were talking this evening about our date for friday that she was in the tub...and i really wanted to comment on that because the idea of her in a hot bath was making me steamy, but I didn't. I figure a woman as attractive as her gets all manner of come-on's so best not to come a running right off and it's a might too early for me to be tipping all my cards anyway. ; ) so...nothing more than a comment of "oh, oh really?" or something to that effect but in a mildly playful and laughing tone..it went over well. She seems very excited to be going out and that's awesome.

No..no way would i uproot my kids to go to see miss flame and at this point I seriously doubt i would move there. I mean it'd have to be crazy crazy crazy love and a dynamite good job on the other end too for me to even THINK about that. No..No one leads the Gman but the Gman. lol. that's my story..i'm sticking to it.

January 7, 2009
12:34 am
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Glittered!! OMG, Sean Penn is one of my favorite actors, and Eric Roberts! Oh, yeah, ultimate "sexay" bad boy. You Lady Killer, you! No wonder your pole isn't in the water for long til you get a fishy or two.

So, meeting up with Rabbit Fur on Friday? for din din?

sd

January 7, 2009
1:21 am
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maybe dinner...maybe a comedian...maybe the theater..or even a museum. Lots to do downtown.

am i meeting up with rabbit fur? lol...I let you know after the date..LOL..sorry. this will be our second date...up to this point I've only hugged her (once on greeting and once on leaving)..and I noticed that when i went to hug her when we were leaving she turned for a moment as if to kiss me..as if she was unsure if i was coming in for a kiss or a hug. This is the second date and if it goes well...I will move in for kisses. let me rephrase..it would have to go badly at this point for me NOT to pursue some kisses. Because i want to kiss her...because when she kisses me...she'll be mine! bwah ha ha ha. Well..I hope so anyway..i've been told I kiss well.

January 7, 2009
12:11 pm
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Ha ha, I was wondering if you'd get the rabbit fur thingy- and of course you did, look who I'm talkin' to- HAHAHAHAHA.

OHHHH, I didn't know you'd already met. So YES, a kiss is in order for the next date.

I sure have a probelm with a guy that doesn't kiss in time- like Sarge not kissing me til Xmas Eve- good grief- a kiss and sex all in the same night. And GQ didnd't kiss me til the 3rd date. Now, for some folks the 3 date rule pertains to "something else". wink wink.

sd

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