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MsG:::::
December 19, 2008
11:28 pm
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sdesigns
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Gosh, MsG, just the thought of doing what you do- well, my hats off to you. You work very hard and deserve just rewards. Glad your son is going with you- hate to think of you out in the dark and the cold!!

No, I am not disappointed about Sarge. The only thing I wish is that he would have behaved "casual" since we discussed it before I met him. I was hesitant because of his situation and he was the one saying how much he'd be able to see me. I would have liked for it to not be so much contact and not so intense but now it is what it is. A date dummy, indeed. I thought about giving some pointers on what to do and what not to do and then thought NAH, let him just flounder around out there. Why should I make it better for him to meet other women?

Looks like Plan B is a go. My trainer gave me the gym guy's number today since he said he wanted me to call him. Seems my trainer told him things w/ Sarge went belly up. So now I'll have to call him and at least see what he's about. Apparently has 2 grown kids- in Detroit (YAY, I think thats far enough away), and a job in computers, and has time to date.

AND I am going out with GQ tomorrow night. We're going to a restaurant about 2 blocks from Sarge's house!! (gawd, can you believe it? life is strange sometimes) and then we're going to walk around Downtown Disney.

Should be nice I guess.

Onward and upward.....

sd

December 20, 2008
12:28 pm
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Out with the old and in with the new........

isn't that what this time of year is about?

Got an email this a.m. from a new one- 6' tall, divorced, CPA, half Japanese, half Irish, likes to surf, play golf, travel, and has sailed. Likes alot of the same stuff I do, 4 years younger, and.....most importantly.....says he's read "Dating for Dummies". Cute too.

Think I'll give him a try. Maybe that should be one of my opening questions from now on, whether he is a dating dummie or not.

sd

December 20, 2008
12:44 pm
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MsGuided
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SD....yea, I'm crazy.

This is a downside of being an entrepreneur. Every business has it's dirty bits, and snow removal is one of mine. The good money and the physical workout is the only upside.

As i said before i am getting too old for this and need to detach from this type of work...it means getting a new truck with plow, or contracting it out to a tradesman,( or guy with a plow who does it for extra cash) one who isn't in my biz, but then I don't make much from that. Bottom line i have to ease into something creative over the winter months. I posted about this before. Making Garden ornaments and stonework. I need a workshop for that....it's all so finacially daunting, but I have a 5 year plan, where I'll be there.

Last night was grueling. The snow was deep, very heavy, and what usually takes 6 hrs took 10. We didn't have any energy to make extra cash after my properties were done, so headed home around 3 am. I got 4 hrs sleep, cause i can't sleep during the day ( my inner clock)....I am aching in my arms and shoulders so today is pretty much a write off.HA!

My son is still in bed and it's 12:30....Imagine that! 17 years old, I'm 47 going on 48 in Feb.....and I'm tough as jerky! The Peppery kind, hehe.

As for you. Plan B sounds wonderful. You know I'm a great advocate of being set up by friends. I really don't know how a spirit can tolerate all the indications and factors that come with online dating: seeing when people are online, some sites with who..it's all for disclosure, so people can't hide, but the fact that people flaunt that just reeks of self serving, and bad character.

Still there's too much of it, and it wears a person down.

GQ may be attached at the hip with his parents, but at least he's not a player. He's avoidant though ( not taking his life into his hands)obviously hides behind his parents, so that is really hard to change.

He is at least more consistent than most, and the snippets you get aren't drama filled. He possibly is very aware his life has become very boring, so YOU can show him how to live it up a bit!

I really believe in change happening when the proper circumstance, inspiration, or catalyst presents itself.....some do have epiphanies that take them on another course.

Maybe I can cajole a massage out of MrD later on, and settle into a nice evening snuggled in our winter decorated bunker ( the roof has about a foot of snow on it, and the LED Xmas lites look lovely in the eve!) I may just end up snoozing.

Yea..onward and upward....Maybe I'll see some flying deer?( preferably not hit by oncoming traffic)LOL

Be Well!

December 20, 2008
1:08 pm
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MsGuided
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ha!.we cross posted.

Dating for dummy's.Yea what a hoot!

Your profile must be quite something. You manage to draw them in.

You're not adding a little cleavage for an extra punch are ya!? ahahaha

Shoot! You don't have to write much if ya do that, but then you attract the wrong kind of neanderthal.
Unbeleivable tenacity and hootsPa! you got.

Well, MrD went out to shop, Picking up some King Crab to steam for dinner, and a few surprises, took the dog so I don't have to listen to his tags tinkle.. .I barely ate yesterday, had a spinach omelette a while ago, so I think I can go nap while he's gone.

Have a great weekend ((sd_budette!))

(((glittered))) Just a warm squoosh if you're reading. I hope you're feeling a bit better...what are you doing for the holidays BTW? ( or is that a sticky subject)

k, nap time...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.LOL

December 20, 2008
2:53 pm
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MsG, I hope you get to stay in all day and night to thaw out! Brrrrrrrrr. At least you'll have some $$ in your hot little hands to make it worth it. Crab dinner?? Yummy.

Yeah GQ has become a good friend. We have opened up about family stuff and he's easy to talk to about it. He has some of his own family drama now- with his twin sister who doesn't help with his parents, so he's taken some major steps with her. He used to have her on his life insurance and was paying $300/ mo for it- asked my opinion and I told him- stop it! She's married etc and he doesn't need to be responsible for her too. I think after his heart attack last year he's doing some re-evaluating of his life and where he goes from here. He's OK looking, gentle, courteous, and kind. I rejected him last year too because I felt he was unavailable, but he had heard it all before and knew what I was talking about. He's still around though and its not completely platonic- he manages to get a good kiss in here and there but hasn't pushed me for anything.

My profile? Nope, no cleavage shots of the ta ta's, in fact no pics of them at all. I'm honest in what I portray (I think) and am against embellishing since I don't think thats fair or honest. Take me as I am, I say. If they don't like it, they can CLICK to the next one. At some point, if you do end up meeting, why have to explain why you lied to get someone's attention? Not a fair way to play IMO.

Forgot to mention that I have a lawyer hot on my trail too, I've been putting him off mostly because I was all starry eyed about Sarge, but now I'm writing with him too. Seems to be some sort of labor lawyer that helps people fight their employers for fair compensation, so that may be OK. I usually don't find lawyers interesting! But seems he fights for the little guy, a worthy cause!!

Bundle up my friend, take a nap, have a hot toddy and r e l a x.

sd

December 20, 2008
4:16 pm
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MsGuided
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Well! I tried to take a nap, was down for a half hour and the phone rings.Mom, Xmas eve is at her place.

It's a go through the motions Xmas.

At least we can take our dog there!heehee!

Xmas day D and I will be at home, quiet. His parents are in Ottawa with his bro. I have to think of cooking up something special.Maybe we'll order a Peking Duck with some assorted Chinese side dishes!LOL

We'll see friends and have a huge New years Party to go to on the Eve.... Lot's of musician friends and a few bands are playing.

MrD's off for 2 weeks too from Dec 24th on!

You didn't need to explain about yer "ta tas". I was kidding around.
I always tease ya about da DD's!

It comes from being the flat chested gal most of my life. I wasn't getting the guys like my big chested friends. WAH!

( i think it was mostly because i was standoffish,hehe)

That isn't so now, but maybe the boob thing with women is like the dick thing with men?!HA!

Our balls are nicer to look at though. ;0)
Orbalicious!

December 21, 2008
11:37 am
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Hi ya ladies.

OK. Got the new furnace. was w/out heat for 5 days - so I celebrated by putting the furnace on 75..mmm..heat.

To answer some quick questions:

No, my kids don't know that my exs bf has done time. Nor should they I don't think.

The ex - i don't think she knew he had done time until well after they were dating. I'm sure not the sort of thing you reveal immediately if yer an ex con looking to date.

I met him again last night and he does seem very normal and healthy...doesn't give off a creepy vibe at all.

((SD))..sorry about sarg..you wondered why he brought you to the office? for two reasons - one to impress you, two to show you off. That's my guess.

((MsG)) Hope you got that massage. I had a convo w/ the ex and it went well...I just have to understand that this is the way it will be. she'll be fine for a stretch..and then snap into crazy...it's been her MO and it's not gonna change. for the holidays - As neither of us is in a cohabitating relationship Xmas morn will be the both of us at her place for the kids. at some point when one or both of us may begin living with someone else we'll start having dual christmases.

I do feel a bit better. This time of year is a little hard on me right now. You see, Christmas time for me has always been a family and couple thing...it's all i have known, and now the absence of a romantic interest in my life (or well a SHARED one) is heightened by the holidays.

Oh, it won't kill me. And I'll move on in short order really. It's what I do.

take care ladies.
G

December 21, 2008
1:03 pm
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Hi glittered: You may not see it, but I think you are very lucky to at least have a friendly relationship with the ex and that you two can present a friendly front to your kids, spend time together, holidays etc without all the animosity that usually goes with it, especially at the holidays. That makes it better for everybody all the way around.

Someday you'll have someone special again- but they have to be SPECIAL enough for you! No more of these ladies that aren't good to you.

Glittered: Are your parents around? Still living, near you? I don't think you've ever mentioned them. Do you have any siblings?

Yeah, MsG: How about that massage? Still gettin' it? he he.

GQ and I had a nice time last night. I went to his house, his Mom wished us a good time, like we were kids going on a date ( ha ha, its WEIRD!)and off we went. The restaurant we planned on going to was packed so we left and went to Disney. And everything there was packed too, so we went back to the restaurant and had a late dinner. When we got back to GQ's he gave me a kiss and then asked if we could get together again before Xmas. Oh dear!! I never see him this often but its OK I guess.

And.....the lawyer wanted to get together last night but I had plans (HA HA, I hardly ever get to say that) so we're going to get together for drinks some night this week.

And then....the CPA wanted me to call him last night, and again I got to say I HAVE PLANS (he fricking he!) so I told him I'll call today.

At least this is all keeping me occupied, and distracted from the holiday crapola.

Another day til Xmas...tick tock tick tock....

sd

December 22, 2008
12:17 pm
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MsGuided
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Wow...I'm just stressed to the max.

Money, Bills, MrD, Family, Xmas.

Nothing out of the ordinary. Seems most of the population feels on the edge.

Everyone feels squeezed. I resent all the media reports, exposing how corrupt our govs, and corporations are, and we, the little people are suffering for it.

(No wonder their are so many criminals.)

Well I never had a comfortable life to lose. So must I scale back when I was never entitled? I'm not impressed by "them" and am trying to find a way to not let it effect my life too much.

How the heck does a person do that?

I already live a pretty paired down life so where else to shave excess? There is no excess!Barely anyway.

MrD(ebt) isn't managing his finances again. I bought him a set of tires for his car, and a pro blow dryer for his B-day and Xmas. Then today he tells me he wants a new Toque for Xmas ( cheap, but what nerve when i already spent $$, more than he will on me, for a B-Day and Xmas) He bought some small gifts last week, 6 of them under the tree, and 3 are for the dog! WOW!

I haven't even told him what I want. I did say to him " Unbelievable, I get you a set of tires, and a pro BD ( not cheap), and you're asking for something else? I haven't even asked for anything. You have no money, I CONSIDER THAT< and you want more? I want a damn emerald ring!!...how about that!? How about paying the whole mortgage yourself? " ( how about taking some company training for a management postion to up your pay about 15 grand a year?...take advantage of your work record, and the fact they promote from within....?? think about supporting this family more than the your insecurities? I haven't said that yet, but the way his money comes in, I may in the near future) He apologized. ..but what of the bigger picture? I don't give a damn about this materialistic feast of the season. I just want to make sure the bills and mortgage are paid. I just had to spend 15 hundred on a new snow machine, another 300 last month on a brake job, I had to get glasses and an eye exam, and my insurance only pays half, I haven't got that check yet......Holy crap! The bigger picture is there are huge layoffs at local companies, GM and Ford drive the economy in Ontario and the trickle down of lost jobs will effect my biz, and everyone......so obviously I'm thinking strategy here. Where i will market my services next season. My X's company has given him early retirement, (amongst many others)I was just informed yesterday by him..So I'm wondering about child support, My benefits ( dental, and extra health insurance) My son said he's looking for work in the New Year. THere's this looming balck cloud out there and I'm tryin gto doge it like everyone else. HA! Most of the electronics and extras in this house i buy, and i am returning to the old resentfull feelings toward MrD. Triggers of not feeling taken care of when i was a child, and now? I don't feel like he takes care of me. Just reeps the benefits of having someone who provides stability and is a go getter. Always strategizing and adjusting to the trends. Lately I feel the "go" is being sapped from me. He also said my son hates him, was whining that he should be treated better by him. HELLO! He's been working afternoons for almost 5 years now, hasn't been around evenings, and my son is gone on the weekend. They barely see eachother more than an couple hours a week ( usually Sunday night)There is no relationship and he doesn't provide for him either. MrD is quick to critisize or dole out discipline, but the encouraging, bonding part? The time isn't spent. Did he make an extra effort all those years to bond? NO. He was more interested in smoking pot in the Garage outside, then think, " I'll take this money and invite my SIL to a games night on the weekend, or get him some clothes" .....or something!....he just expects it all to drop in his lap, without making the effort. I told him so, and he didn't like that. Sorry, it's reality and this is my son your making out as a careless, selfish individual.....Look in the damn mirror! I get very protective. Meanwhile I always use my money to make sure the bills, rent, are paid, my son has decent clothes, some extras like video games, an MP3 player, paintball, allowance ( because he does do chores) .......My X and I provide everything for him. I do without. I don't shop for myself, just the bare minimum for clothes, no cosmetics, I cut my own hair, no manicures or pedicures.......I put money back into my Biz, and i save a bit. Recently I've been thinking so many women get the ring, and their cars, major stuff paid for, and taken care of by their men. So I'm compairing. Not good. It just doesn't pay to be on the up n up, and fair...the liars and users get ahead.......hmm should i change? No I didn't ask for the massage, I would get it if i did.....I'm just not impressed by him lately. Too much damn burden. Tis the season, and I could just "Hot Toddy" er Spike the Egg Nog, have a preverbial substance slide all through it...why not? Seems everyone just leans on the drugs, booze....whatever to escape, and get through it all. I just have to be so in line, and carefull.......what's the fricken use!? The comfort zone isn't so comfortable (((sdesigns, glittered))) I think I'ld rather meet someone new, who is on their best behaviour, get romanced, get an adrenaline fix! rather than this grind.

I feel on the verge of doing something very imoral. LOL

At least it's sunny out, I'll take the dog for a walk, and go shopping.

Where's MrD's credit Card!!! DAMNIT!!

MuahhahahahaHA!

December 22, 2008
2:14 pm
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((((MsG))))

You are so right about how everyone feels and is affected by this economy, it affects EVERYONE. So of course it brings money issues to the forefront.

I agree with you about being the one who has to take take the reins and make sure everthing hopefully turns out ok, looking to the future, being responsible, thats a lot of weight on a person's shoulders. And you are the one who bears the weight, and MrD sort of acts like he's the kid and has to be told what to do. He's not acting like the head of the household, not taking responsibility, not providing for you. We are fed the roles of men and women our entire lives so of course things look off kilter, and they are. It seems that he should naturally want to better himself, especially if its that easy and available thru his own company, can't get any easier than that. But having to tell him and force feed him as to what he should be doing- I'd be frustrated too. I also think its natural to want to feel like someone is watching out for us, or at least helping and having our best interests at heart.

I'm like you, lead a very simple life and am naturally frugal/ responsible by nature. There isn't anything I can scale back on- I cancelled one newspaper, thats all I can do. I'm even trying to use minimal electricty etc just to save a bit of expense.

Bah! It'll get better, we just have to hang in there.

I talked to the lawyer and the CPA yesterday. I don't especially like the lawyer so I think I'll let that go, the CPA is OK but not that easy to talk to. Turns out he went to my high school, 4 years behind me. Supposedly we're going to meet after Xmas.

And...... I have been emailing with Sarge and he called this morning. Oh dear, I almost wish he wasn't so easy to talk to. He wants to get together this weekend too. He asked how my love life was, so I asked him how his was. And he said I am the only one he's interested in right now. Somehow, I have to get him to ease back if we are going to see each other because I don't want to be hooked, at least not yet. But at least we can talk about things openly.

Warm thoughts to you on a cold and rainy day here......

sd

December 22, 2008
5:50 pm
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MsGuided
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Hi ((sd))

Must be hard to be frugal where you are, but i guess the reality is there are extremes in and around L.A.

It's kind of the same where i am. The most wealthy live in the small town I'm in, up the hill, and the city next to it is factory town, with more than it's share of hard cases. Figures I'm stuck in the middle, No wonder my neck gets sore sometimes!

Yah! I cancelled my paper ( too damn depressing anyway) put all flourescent lights in the fixtures, only have the LED Xmas lights on at night,.....shop at thrift shops, always buy sale reduced items,...about the only thing i splurge on is food. I buy the best quality ( good health carry's one through the stress ).I don't buy alcohol, or eat out much.

Even picking up a daily coffee adds up.ha! I always brew at home. Fill my own water bottles from the tap..eesh!
We even keep the thermostat around 17 to 18 during the day, and 15 at night when we sleep (celcius)

In the winter I don't shave my legs even! ahahahaaa.......ok that's going too far!

I think it's a good idea to stay in contact with Sarg. He does have kids, and that whole holiday pressure thing...not a good time to bring the new gal around. Xmas has so much attached to it, and they will be "who the heck is she?" Then there's the attachment thing for you and them. What if it goes Kaplooeee and your left with a fast 'n furious emotional hangover.

I think we are similar that we cut and run before we get too hurt, we don't fight, or keep it in perspective. Bonding and abandonment issues.Don't let that rule you anymore. (We're also overly responsible, independent)

Breath deep and don't let the date Bitches snatch away a rare find, hehe.

I understand you let your fears speak here, but kind of knew you'ld stay in touch with him. Reason takes over.YAH! Sure is better than the toothless wonder...(wonder when he'll pop up? oops i mentioned him, probably soon now ;0) )

It's not always reasonable what we say on AAC.( see above, below, past present and future)

This is the purge zone!

This man seems the most worthy of all, so hang in there , casually of course! ;0)...better to just let it slide for now and keep it to you and him. Maybe a New years outing, IF the next Date goes really well.
New Years is always a better way to seal the relational deal..it worked with MrD and I!
( I should've realized where it was going when he popped open the Friezenet and not a Moet Chandon, or Mumm's,hehe)

So I decided not to bake this year. Too much snow. I worked Friday night til 3 am ( it was a lot of heavy snow and i was a write off the next day, couldn't sleep) then Sunday, and Tomorrow there is another big dump coming. The snow drifts are almost 4-6 feet high on the residential streets around here. My arms and shoulders are sore, so standing, kneading dough, shaping cookies, stirring, dipping, decorating .....NAH!

We're going to my Moms Xmas eve day from 3 on. My Niece and her fiance, Nephew, and BIL ( puke) will drop in, then they're going to Nieces fiances parents for dinner ( whew! I know it's going to get emotional with my sister gone..frankly I am over it and they are the ones who should feel very guilty the way they treated her)

It may sound cold of me, but the 4 times after my sister died, that I saw them, it was too much sorrow, crying, tension..they ruined my mothers day ( between them and their Dad)....I just don't need it around me anymore, when they are togehter. They went from being downright abusive toward her when she was alive, to too many tears and regret after.

I haven't seen any of them for months so maybe it will be ok. I really don't know what growth or healing they've experienced in the meantime.

Xmas day I am cooking and my parents will come by.
I bought a nice organic free range Turkey ( 6.7 kilos, and expensive!)with Lingonberry sauce ( instead of cranberry)Spinach salad, chestnut, italian sausage stuffing with organic sage bread, Brussels sprouts, Yam and squash, Mashed Potatoes,Gravy......gotta have da gravy! and cheese cake for dessert.

Presidents Choice is always a life saver, hehe.

Were stocked with appetizers and snack items from M&M and Costco.

I ended up getting gift cards for the kids ( they're in their 20's now)..resisted the "Scroogette" impulse. Luckily they had all the different ones< ITunes, La Sensa, Shopping, Restaurants, Groceries, Movie tickets..everything at the supermarket. Talk about one stop shop! Me Likes! Holy crap! I'm actually ready! Yea I know i need a lot of growth, have to just divy up instead of cut n run. My son is going with his dad Xmas Day. Im starting to feel a little better. What about you? Is a Family visit taking place? I can use the warm thoughts too. (Pretty cold out there but it looks nice! kinda like me! aahahahaha) Back at ya buddette! You have a warm whooly blanket or a FP? (Lets just keep things cozy...tensions are rising around these cyber parts.;0) ) Peace Online!

Be Well!

December 22, 2008
6:42 pm
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sdesigns
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"( I should've realized where it was going when he popped open the Friezenet and not a Moet Chandon, or Mumm's,hehe)"

I laughed out loud at that one!

Your Xmas dinner sounds awesome. YUMMY, with lots of calories!! Yeeha, its Xmas dinner, what the heck.

I'm going to the movies with my "Jewish Mama" and we'll look for somewhere thats open to eat. Last year we went to Bob's Big Boy and had burgers and fries- but thats a treat too.

No, not going to my Dad's. Haven't heard from him, not even a card, so I'm not going to even worry about it. Since he is a miser he is probably loving this bad economy- an excuse to not give gifts or $$. I even sent back his $1 necklace that he sent me and told him I wouldn't wear it and to give it to someone else. I can see right thru his cheapness and don't think its cute or funny. I found that extremely insulting. I sent him a card and I'm done, not going to fret about it.

This is the first year of my entire life I'm not doing something with him. The fact he'll be 81 should give HIM a reason to think about how he treats his children but I doubt it enters into his head, he's too selfish.

And my neice is selfish and spoiled. For years now I have commented to her, my Dad and her mother that she should say thank you when given gifts. She has developed a sense of entitlement I think due to her rough beginnings but thats no excuse to not show thanks or be grateful. I have carefully shopped for her before, brought her lovely things from my travels and I never hear a peep out of her. So this year I'll play the poor card too and not give her gifts. I sure had plenty of holidays like that with my miser parents, even though they had $$. Its sickening when I think about it.

Yeah, Sarge, darn it. Even though I think we made some ground he's right back with the sweetheart, my dearest sd stuff again, that he misses me, can't wait to see me, and is flirting up a storm, etc. While it IS flattering, I don't consider that casual behavior. So, what to do? Ignore it? Tell him to stop? (I like it tho!) I'm just not used to men falling all over me like that, especially someone I like. He still wants to ditch work some day and come over here. Hmmmmmmmm, I wonder what would happen????? He he, I already know, he's been "hinting".

My hand hurts like a son of a gun today. I haven't been taking my pills and sure enough, another pain episode in another place. I can hardly move my thumb or grasp anything. I wonder if I am going to have to take drugs for the rest of my life? Ack, hope not.

Get warm, my friend!! No, no FP, just a little heater I move around with me, stay wrapped up in afgans and blankets. Brrrrrrrrrrrr.....

SD

December 22, 2008
7:28 pm
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Unbelievable...I feel the same way toward my family....all these years of trying to give, giving, and it just feels wasted. The casual contact, calls to say "Hello, how are ya, want to get together?" and share, small talk, the consistent stuff, "..just calling to let you know I care, BTW, why don't you pop by, or I'm going to drop in..." support, understand, without judgments or expectations, just never happens.

I struggle with detachment because i feel I'm sending back what they give to me. Rejection....I'm confused about that: sending the same message they give me?

My Mom and Dad have made amends a bit, and i don't think thay have much more time, but my sibs and relatives? :0(

I just can't take anymore of this Silent Treatment> sorrow.

You know my cousin has gotten 2 jobs from me, and I hooked him up with my friends son when he called me, needed a labourer. He hasn't brought anything my way. Didn't even call to thank me.

Why bother trying anymore?
It's wasted. No such thing as reciprocity.

Strangers, new people treat me better than my family.

Your Jewish friend sounds cool. No pressure right? We used to have a Big Boy up here, not anymore since the mid_nineties ..I think of Austin Powers now ( the Big Boy rocketing through space with Dr. Evil inside, hehe)

Our friends are the same, so on Boxing day, and New Years eve is when we get to chill and have fun.

Depends on the weather for me. So far this winter is predicted to be quite snowy. Glad about that. Beats getting a filler job from hell!LOL.

I hate feeling this funked up! Fighting it so hard, but it's quite prevalent.

Thanks for being my Cyber friend.
I'm all Vaklempt! ( choked up)

:0)

December 22, 2008
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Ahhhhh, MsG, you Vaklempt! me too!!

(I learned a new word- yay!).

"Strangers, new people treat me better than my family." EXACTLY!! so we have to make our own family. On one of tbt's threads she was talking about blood being thicker than water- but then she said "who says thicker is better?" I loved that.

As far as your cousin not even saying thank you for the work- I say he's had his chance and I wouldn't do that again. and if he ever says anything you could just say you didn't think he wanted the referrals since you never heard from him. Puts the burden back on him PLUS thats just good biz practice to acknowledge a referral, family or not.

I know what you're saying- I felt like I'm lowering myself to their level- but when I go over there I feel like I am groveling or being a doormat at my own doing. I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I'm agitated, all stressed out. So I guess I feel like I am taking a stand by avoiding the whole damn thing. Rejecting them- maybe/ yes. But how many times do I have to be rejected to "get it"? and if I know thats what I am going to get, why do I go back for more? Who's fault is that? Mine.

And I know its not nice that I mailed that stupid necklace back to my Dad but that made me feel worse than if he'd sent nothing.

PD reminds me so much of my Dad in how cheap he is. The first Xmas I knew him he gave me a Starbuck's card that he found in all the trash in the bottom of his truck. Nice, huh? Speaking of which I sent the toothless wonder a Xmas email and haven't heard from him and I probably won't. I heard from him a few weeks ago and he thinks he has diabetes (I have my doubts since he took the reading right after T Day dinner and thats normal) and I haven't heard back from him. But as far as I know people w/ diabetes can still use a keyboard! He is just a holiday phobe and I know to expect that from him now.

Update: My neice called me a bit ago and asked if I was coming over and I said no. She said they haven't seen me for a long time and that I usually bring presents over at Xmas. So I told her I haven't been working, have doctor bills etc, and that I won't be doing that this year. Then she asked if I was mad at Grandpa and I said yes, I'm very angry with him. She said "he still likes you" and I almost started laughing. A child's view is so innocent. Anyhow, she asked if she could call again and I told her to call anytime. We were talking about what she wants to be when she grows up since she said she wants a Corvette. I told her she should plan on college then, etc. She has no concept of $$ or how the world works and she has some pretty f'd up examples between my Dad and her mother. I don't mind dealing with her as an individual but as a package with my dad and sis, can't do it. I just can't wrap my mind around all of that at all!

My Jewish Mama is the sweetest woman, she is the epitomy of what a mother should be. She is so good to me, checks on me, is interested in me,worries about me, says she talks to me more than her own daughter who is too busy for her. So we're a good pair, enjoy each other, etc. When I tell her things about my parents she gets really upset so I try not to say too much, but she just can't understand a mother acting the way mine did. She's a real life nurturing person and I'm lucky to have her. So, like I quoted above- who says thicker is better?

Tick tock tick tock, can't wait til this is over.........

sd

December 23, 2008
4:14 pm
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Blood is thicker than water.yea.like damn quicksand sometimes.

Your niece calling with her querie?How rude! She's naughty! I couldn't imagine my son behaving like that when he was younger. People spoil him because he is so thankfull and doesn't ask for a lot. It's unbeleivable the $$$ he rakes in each Xmas from both sides of the family.
I think how you dealt with her was pretty astute. Things have been difficult for you health and biz wise, so why over extend yourself? Gotta teach her some compassion. I hope she does call you. She is a kid afterall, and needs a varied , perhaps healthier adult support system. However by the time she is old enough she may have a nice intheritance to lean on.

It's not like anyone is taking care of you, and Med. insurance in the states is a nightmare!
(I'm wandering into killjoy zone, I'll shudup)

I thought your Jewish friend was an "earth mama" type. Didn't realize she's a mother figure. That's even better in a way. It reminds me of my high school best friends Mom, who's Jewish. She was my sarogate at that time.

As for PD? No good words for him. I just feel protective of you and disgusted by him, sooooooo.....Bah Humbug!

I have to go out late tonight to clear snow. Sons coming home to help ( he's at Dads).ugh.

Xmas dinner tomorrow at Moms. I'm trying to be level, and at peace about it, But I just may be too tired to care...I'll just have to do some drugs and coast through it all. HA! (I'm just too negative, gotta stop this, I just didn't want to work tonight, ;0/)

If I don't sign on, Have a Great Winter Solstice with JuMama, whatever else you choose to do. Have a few cocktails on me!!

All the best GF! ;0)

December 23, 2008
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To (((everyone)) on AAC

May all of you enjoy this Holiday, whichever way you do, surrounded with love, peace and comfort.

!!Happy Winter Solstice!!

December 23, 2008
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Yeah, my neice really is spoiled and has never learned to think of others.

I remember when I was a kid we always gave gifts to grandmothers, aunts, etc and had to write thank you notes for what they gave us. Seems manners have somehow gone by the wayside.

And yes, she will be taken care very well. She gets a whopper of a trust fund inheritance at 25, more than I will ever have. She probably won't even have to work- ever.

Sarge has been as attentive as ever and has been asking some odd questions so I think he may be getting me a gift. I can't even remember when a guy has bothered to give me a gift for Xmas (except of course the piece of trash PD gave me!) and he is still apologizing for being so busy. I am NOT saying anything about that and told him to not put pressure on himself about that and he says its because he wants to see me so badly. Good grief, I can't believe he says stuff like that. He told me that he saw his oldest son in uniform for the first time yesterday and he got all emotional- a proud dad. He really does impress me with how much he cares for his kids.

Besides a gigantic basket of cookies and cakes I have a couple of things to give him AND I've been having fun today making a Holiday Coupon book for him- hahahahaha, just some fun and suggestive things for him to redeem!!(don't worry, kept it pretty clean).

MsG, I hope you have the bestest of the best of holidays!

Glittered: If you're out there- Merry Christmas to you, you foxy cyber bud!

Love yous, SD

December 24, 2008
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Yikes!

Sarge wants to come over tonight for a little while.

A man who wants to see me on Xmas Eve? Good grief, I am twitterpatted!

sd

December 24, 2008
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Ladies,

Happy pagan solstice hijacked by christians to compete with Hanukkah. j/k...well sorta..Merry Christmas to those so inclinded.

I have more wrapping to do. Lots of cyber ladies to sort thru. some promising, some just OK, none really stunning me. I just wonder if that's even possible right now

still feel down about Miss Masseuse. and throw in the holidays on top of that.

but really tired of whining about it. Not very becoming on a man ya know. I will crawl out the other side and conquer. It's what I do.

gotta run..much to do..(((MsG))) (((SD)))

G.

December 25, 2008
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Wow Sd..he's back , full force and wanting to get in on Xmas Eve? Hm, how'd that go?

This is embarassing ( the bad luck just doesn't end with me sometimes) Around 3:30am, Dec 24 I went out to work during a really bad winter storm ( cold front pushed by a warm, snow turning to wet snow then rain) The highway wasn't cleared and i got in an accident. I was going 70 kms, same as everyone else, but there were bigger trucks passing and splashing slush and snow everywhere, covering the lane i was in that had a little road showing, and I suddenly slid sideways, and 2 cars hit me. They were damaged pretty badly. It was like bumper cars, with me sliding around in circles, until i settled facing traffic, luckilly on the soft shoulder. My Son and i were facing all the traffic going by, big transports......so lucky we weren't killed!

The truck got both front bumpers pushed in a bit, a little dint in the door, and after the police took all the reports ( we all had to be towed off the highway to a parking lot nearby) I felt like such an ass, that i caused this.I was able to get a boost and drive home. On the way home 2 people pulled out in front of me, and I almost hit them....I was pretty shook up. The highway incident could've been a disasterous huge pile up with transport trucks...and none of us were hurt.

It was a total nightmare going out. Xmas Eve day, a horrible storm, people driving like idiots.....all the pressure of doing this job, letting my customers down. I feel like a total failure now!

Nobody seemed to be thinking, or looking ( the drivers who pulled out of lots in front of me on the way home).I was in no shape to work at all.

I decided to call my customers and cancel everything. What a horrible night!

More money down the drain, after the tow fee and deductable.

We got home around 6 am, cleared our own driveway so MrD could get to work..It was starting to rain then, temps have gone from -18 celcius up to +5 c in 2 days....we both came inside and went to bed until noon....I was just a wreck, for Xmas eve..what a way to go and spend time with family.

Xmas eve went ok..had a nice enough time, but i was buggered in the head. My son was just fine, stronger than me, but my situation, as the adult who pays the bills,carries the load...just full of trepidation, and "what am i going to do now"...Damn.
My BIL was there for dinner,He pissed and moaned the whole time before we ate, about poor him, all his problems, and WAH wah wah, brought nothing for anyone....I helped prepair the meal , served dinner to everyone, plus we had bought small gifts ( i always get a hand made ornament for family members trees)...If it weren't for the accident i would've been ok. ;0/.

Anyway I just got our Turkey in the oven, and have Mom and Dad coming by later....I feel so tired! I should just start drinking and smoking.....WTF?!!!
MrD is cleaning house, and I think taking the dog for a long walk will help.

When will this shit ever end?!

I was hoping for a nicer holiday, seeing my Nephew was nice. He was so generous to everyone, and we kindof made amends. My Niece had to work, then go to her IL's, so we didn't see her.

It's warmed up a bit, there's no snow forceast til next week maybe.

The word recovery seems to spread into too many areas for me this holiday......Sorry., having a hard time being optimistic right now. My neck got jossled a bit so I feel stiff, HA!
I'm thankful for my son. He is my angel, Rock, and made me proud yesterday, how he helped and was positive....he helped with the dogs ( taking them out) and the garbage from presents. MrD came in later since he had to work.

AnyhOO....Happy Flippen Holidays!! ... Where's the frikken Tequila!!

glittered ya made me laff!

Be Well! ;0/

December 25, 2008
1:13 pm
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OH GOD!!

(((((((MsG))))))))

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you and your son are OK and didn't get hurt. And no one else got hurt either.

Be THANKFUL for that, god that is so scary. And don't beat yourself up- good grief, in that horrible weather anything could happen. I know you're upset about the $$ but it could have been so much worse, you could have injured or worse!! The truck can be fixed, the other cars can be fixed or replaced- YOU can't be replaced!!

It just makes me really mad now (more than usual) that you have to do that, in those conditions. I'm mad at MrD for not wanting to make more money, advance himself, take care of you so that you don't have to do that! Probably not nice of me to say that especially today but I worry about you!!

As for the BIL, f him and his self centered attitude. After what you went thru, NOTHING compares.

Sounds like the rest of the evening went OK though? (or at least as best that can be expected?)

I hope you at least have a nice dinner today and all goes peacefully.

As for Sarge- I was NOT expecting in the slightest that he would want to come over last night. He emailed in the a.m. to see if I had plans.

So he got here around 6 p.m., and had presents! that he wrapped himself! We had some wine and I set out plates of cookies and some appetizers.

I went shopping during the day and got a few things for him- a stocking that I put cookies in, a bottle of Nair (he shaves his legs for bike racing), some hot chocolate and my "special" coupon book. he he he. Plus I gave him a huge bag of Starbucks coffee beans, and a huge basket of cookies and cakes.

I tried to find mistletoe and couldn't find any- and I ran into a friend at the store who suggested I just cut a piece of any old shrub and pretend its mistletoe- and thats what I did!! and I hung it from a hanging lamp in the dining room.

I was determined to get a kiss from Sarge one way or another.

Well.........we talked and drank wine and he FINALLY leaned over and gave me a kiss- yes, he CAN kiss!! So when it seemed things were progressing, I stopped and wanted to open presents. (I wanted him to see his "coupon" book)- he he. So things progressed starting with a back rub (This guy is BUILT- OMG- I think his pecks are bigger than my ta ta's), and then to a body massage with oils and candlelight- he'd never had a massage,- and things progressed from there. He does EVERYTHING very nicely (purr, purr, purr) and has a very nice butt!

Eventually he went home, said his kids were probably wondering where dad was. I was surprised he stayed as long as he did, but he said the ex was at his house wraping gifts with his kids so I guess he didn't want to be there.

Oh yeah- he got me some rice bowls with lotus flowers on them ( I love lotus) and some hand painted chop sticks, and a tea set- and said they are for when he cooks over here with me. I thought it was very thoughtful and cute that he thinks that way.

Anyhow, I am pretty pleased with things right now.

My Jewish Mama had a big scare healthwise so I won't be seeing her today, but I just talked to her. But I am OK with that, I want her to take care of herself, she always pushed but she may be having a serious problem- just hard to get her to take it easy.

Hiya glittered!!

Ooooppps.........have an email from lover boy......I'll check back later.

sd

December 29, 2008
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(((MsG))) glad yer OK. Don't dwell on the bills...you'll do the best you can and it WON"T kill you. sometimes that's i deal with crap "well, it won't kill me."

you were mostly unhurt as was your son. so the truck is driveable? that's a plus. you could rolled, flipped, etc.

hang in there babe.

SD,
well it sounds like we didn't get all the details...after all that rubbing and kissing surely something else transpired? well? or is that what you meant by EVERYTHING? and purr purr purr? hee hee..did he give the kitty a bath? ; ) lol

Glad it went well for you.

same old same old here. am broke, but have lots of ladies interested (and no $ till end of month..lol). I think I need to start taking notes..i forget who is who and what their particulars are...lol...like names sometimes. there's V, S, L, K,s2, Sh, sh2, St, and I'm sure I'm forgetting someone..oh yeah D. I've met none of them...well s2 is the exlover from 10 years ago.

gotta fly..working 2nd job today.

December 29, 2008
10:05 am
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Hi Guys....(((sd, glittered)))
thanks for the concern! ;0)

MrD has been off,(until Jan 5) and we had a flood at the house. Most of the snow melted and our basement had almost 1" of water.Spent the last day pumping it out. I knew the basement would be a problem, but this mid winter crazy weather doesn't help.

(SD, what you said about MrD has crossed my mind more lately...but I chose him, so I'm in it now)
Anyway, the trucks battery keeps dieing, so it's in the shop. Can't drive it anywhere, and shut it off, or I'm stuck. Don't know if I'll do the body work yet.....It may be upwards of about 3-5 grand....our insurance may go up. Doesn't look that bad but it's not a good biz image, right?

Yea, we're not injured but the business aspects really need to change now. Next year I'm not doing it.Will find someone to sub.
Four years now and it's dangerous out there. Mostly avoiding other careless drivers, and now some drivers had to avoid me. I figured out why my truck Hydroplaned....I was just comming off of a bridge, and the slush, ice, water,snow was flowing down.....when i hit the gulley is when i slid.

SD..That was quite the visit from Sarge..I wonder if he'll slow down with the online stuff now? The gift is right up my alley too..pretty cool! Sounds like a Pier 1 item.

"Did he give the kitty a bath?"

ahahahahaha.....hope he used a shower curtain!

Glittered...you must be one hot papa with all those ladies vying for your attention.....Did you put "single dad" in your profile?I've heard that's a real traffic jam item.

Anyway, this gal hasn't been up to posting much lately, not feeling too great, and thats' what happens ( I got all the stuff out and more is happening, so i don't like going on about all the negativity....I just have to deal with things at home)

My son said he's going to start looking for work in the New Year, to help out a bit around here....and I may be doing the same now.

I hope we all get our finances in better order in 2009.....at least you guys are occupied with new exciting things.

It's stage 5 sex for us. ( stage 5 is bedroom marital sex, 1 starts with doing it everywhere and anywhere, and is the initiation kind, then it gets more boring from there on, LOL)

I am kindof kidding.

Be Well!

December 29, 2008
12:01 pm
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Howdy, glittered and MsG!

Sounds like we all belong to the No Money Club. Well, boo fricking hoo and Bah Humbug to this sucky economy.

Glittered: I had a good belly laugh over what you wrote. Yes, dear, I meant EVERYTHING. And the kitty got two baths- count 'em- TWO!

At least I found out he can kiss AND do the deed (very nicely). He sure is quiet though, didn't make a sound except for "at the moment". Made me think of PD who made so much noise the neighbors would shut their windows.

But here's the kicker. He called Friday, I wasn't home, I called him back- no answer. He also sent an email Friday, I answered, still no answer. I wonder whats going thru his head.

So I'm kinda bummed. He had a 5 day weekend, seems he would have had time to make some sort of contact. Of course he could be dating all over So Cal and keeping busy. So for now I'm A & M, not going to call or anything again. His turn. Or, maybe thats it. Who knows? Isn't it odd that sex can either bring people closer, OR set them miles apart instead?

And here it is w/ NY Eve this week. Boo fricking HOO! I would love to get together w/ him for that, but if he emails the morning of, ain't gonna happen.

GQ invited me to a little dinner party Friday nite and I declined. It was with some friends of his from high school and his mother. Nah, getting too cozy. So now he invited me to come over tonight for tamales and Mexican lasagne (that his mother is cooking). I'm going, but I'm feeling a little weird about it. PLUS, what if he wants to get together for NY Eve? I'd rather be alone than spend it with he and his parents.

The lawyer wanted to hook up and I decided I didn't want to bother. And I haven't heard back from the CPA. So........if things are belly up w/ Sarge, I may call the guy from the gym after New Years.

Glittered: You have quite a selection of ladies there, I'll bet one or two would love to take pity on the poor working dad w/ no $$- work it baby, work it! J/K- I know thats not your style- but just be honest with them and don't feel like you have to spend lots of $$ to impress- lots of folks are in the no money boat these days, I think its more about what matters now- compatability, spending quality time etc.

MsG: Despite all thats happened you sound fairly OK. You know the saying is that things happen for a reason, maybe the accident was a wake up call that your biz needs to change so that you aren't endangering life and limb to make a living. HOPEFULLY the light bulb will come on with MrD and he'll get a little more responsible and protective. GAWD, he could have lost you in the accident, I sure hope it shakes something lose in him.

Anywho....I'm going to do my year end books this week, work on my taxes, go to the gym (I'm being really good about that) and try to keep myself busy and happy!! I promised myself to do some journaling too- I've been neglecting that. Its a habit I have to at least do it at the end of the year to reflect, set some goals, etc.

Happy Monday, my friends...

sd

December 30, 2008
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awesome..kitty got two baths... that's one clean kitty! I'm a big proponent of cleaning the kitty..the world needs more clean kittens : ) here's to bathing the kitty...cheers. : )

Hang in there msg...

peace!
S.

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