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Maturity!!!
February 10, 2005
10:37 am
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sewunique
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Amanda,

So embarrassing to talk about this, self love stuff, but am trying. Been a long time being 'high' in any sense; that was in the early 70s in Nebraska. Those were the days, my, my. Don't have the time to get 'lost' getting high or drunk anymore. Two years of my life with that was enough. Now I get high on life; the little things that matter. Like nature, children, my elderly neighbor that puts his hand softly on my cheek and says how special I am, his wife, who speaks with love pouring from her eyes, and talking here! You know what I mean; I see it within you.

Back to the 'other' stuff. Amazing how nerve endings in our bodies can produce such enormous sensations throughout the rest of the body. Yep, maybe I finally got it right. And it's 'safe sex' too. But it is never, nor will be a substitute for sharing with a man. That can be so great.

Did you ever see "Terms of Endearment" with Deborah Winger and Shirley McLaine? I bawled my eyes out. But the one part I try to remember is when the mother, Shirley McLaine finally got it together with Jack Nickolas and they had sex. She was telling her daughter about it, as she had all these men, but never went to bed with them. She finally concedes to have sex with Nickolas. McLaine said; laughingly, "it was so fu***g good." Yep, sure can be!

February 10, 2005
10:42 am
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sewunique
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I agree as with Amanda said, that part of maturity is not wondering what others think. Also, thinking that others have an alterior motive to what they say and taking it personally. Although, people do play games and can be sarcastic or covert in what they say or do. The hard part is knowing when it means something in game playing or just to let it go.

February 10, 2005
12:53 pm
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Juanita
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The Crucial Question I would like to ask now is:

"How can we empower our men(Boyfriend,fiance,husband,son,malefriend) to become more mature without making them self-conscious?"

WD, isn't it a chemical balance in the brain that helps young men (any adolesent) to mature? Once that chemical composition is there, I believe the best way to teach is by example, male or female.

There is talk of our State raising the rules, or even age, on new drivers in MA specifically because new data shows the adolescence brain is not capable of understanding consequences (which is part of being able to make a mature decision). The State of MA either wants to raise the age, or consequences of breaking such rules such as: no cell phones in the car, no friends (only family), no eating while driving ..... they want to stiffen the penalties (take driving privileges away, more driving classes etc).

I also firmly believe, some people will NEVER be 'mature'. One of our dear friends is a 39 yr old man who sometimes behaves like a 13 yr old boy!

Likewise, I have a 58 yr old female co-worker who throws fits like a kid.

Go figure...

Perhaps maturity is like Common Sense. Not everyone is able to possess it.

February 10, 2005
1:08 pm
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sewunique
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Perhaps part of maturing is not being self-centered. You got me thinking about this, Juanita, when you cited your examples of adults behaving like children. Some people never grow up; they want what is best for me, not others or the benefit or what is best for the whole society. They want immediate gratification. Self seeking, self serving.

Yet, I may have the Peter Pan syndrome; I never want to grow up! But unlike Peter Pan, I do think of what's best for 'the good of all' and try to give to others where I can.

I guess when I say, I never want to grow up, I mean that I want to keep the awe and spirit of life alive in me, and not just wither away in a rocking chair, like many sad people do.

Yes, having tantrum fits is childish and really hard to rationize with adults who behave like this. I won't stoop to that level. What do you do when your co-worker acts ike this? I'd walk away until she calms down and can make sense.

February 10, 2005
2:13 pm
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on my way
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Emotional intelligence is also measured now in accordance with mental intelligence. I think how we were raised has alot to do with our emotional intelligence...hey!! what another good idea for a thread discussion...how much is genetic, and how much is environment?

Sweet Amanda, waht you said about:
"And I think it comes from being in relationships where that was what we had to do to stay safe: always second-guess the other's motives. Not just in a romantic relationship, but a family or friend one too. "
I did more second guessing than I do now, but it is a hellacious way to think, as it serves no profit..but growing up in an alchoholic family, I remember having to second guess, walk on eggs, and then wait for the bottom to fall out, as in could not accept the good for what it was...which opens another stinking door of memory and that I think I had better face.....oh yuk, why did I do that!!

February 10, 2005
8:02 pm
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Rasputin
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Hi All,

Sewunique, you put it very beautifully and eloquently!

I believe the majority of our problems come from self-centerdness.
Or as I call it ego-centric personality.

I was once sitting in public utility
meditating and reflecting on something. I noticed a cute man sitting beside me. So I asked him:

What do you think the reason behind all of our miseries? Failed relationship, abuse, dysfunction, divorce, unfaithfulness between partners?

He answered smartly: "Individualism. Every body minds only his own business; works for his own interest.
He confessed to me that he had just broke-up with his girlfriend. And that he was in self-reflective period."

I believe if we all learn to fall in love with each other; practice the golden rule (Do as you would be done by); as well as love ourselves, we would have eliminated or perhaps improved society as a whole.

In order to love ourselves; we have to fall in love with our Creator!!!

What do you think my sweet dear friends? Am I being a dreamer/idealistic? Is this the Pollyanna myth?

I believe if every individual starts with himself/herself, we would have come along way!

So let's start today for a Better Society!!!

February 10, 2005
8:35 pm
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freegirl
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well i know I am more mature than that low down good for nothing man i just dumped lol

February 10, 2005
11:15 pm
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on my way
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Yes Rasputin, falling in love with our Creator becasue he is the only one who loves perfectly...HE is Love.
And, allowing Him to love us is also very, very important. I agree.

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