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Maturity!!!
February 7, 2005
2:04 pm
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Rasputin
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Dear Males & Females,

Why does it take long time for men to become mature, wise and grow up whereas women tend to be born with it. Women seem to have it as an innate trait???

I have been oberving this upleasant phenomenon everywhere, on this site, with friends, acquaintances etc. I have even been conducting a study/survey about this and I observed the following:

Women (Mostly) tend to be more:
Romantic, Selfless, Honest, Emotional, Devoted, Sincere, Committed, Mature, Wise Educated, Faithful, Spiritual,
Versatile, Smart, Sacrificial, Warm and all the rest of good qualities.

Whereas:

Men (Mostly) tend to be (the Opposite) of all the above-mentioned qualities.

I would be happy to hear responses from both genders, especially the male gender, since they understand themselves better than us females!

February 7, 2005
2:18 pm
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CAMER
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hmmm, good topic, I have to take a 50/50 with this one, cuz i know more than 2 women who are having "affairs" with married men, and they know this, so they are not being honest with themselves, and they are not committed and are selfish and one even goes to church weekly...and I don't think she gets a clue that one of the 10 commandments is adultery...I am not saying ALL women are like this, but these are 2 close female friends and it too says alot for the men they are with, they are just as bad. I do know of a few solid married couples, no lying or cheating and both spiritual. I myself am like that caring, trusting, spirtual, smart, good qualities, etc.

This topic should raise alot of discussion though, thanks for posting.

February 7, 2005
2:26 pm
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Cici
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I don't really like to say "Women are A, B, C" and "Men are E, F, G" - I don't think women are better than men.

My Mom was an unstable, physically abusive harpy and my father is the rock to which I cling, steady, calm, supportive, gentle - so I have the opposite view. I personally think most women are emotionally random and inconsistent. Including myself.

February 7, 2005
4:33 pm
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on my way
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Scientifically, our brains are connected at the top, and men's are not. Now what effect this may have I don't know, unless we are able to fuse emotions, and men are right or left brain...but I don't know that for certain.
If you have ever seen the cartoon pic..the difference between a male and female:
The female is depicted as a swiss aremy knife with many different parts. The male is depicted as a sledge hammer with only one part. Not a negative slant, but maybe a more accurate way to describe how we think.
Thank God we are different though!!

February 7, 2005
4:35 pm
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on my way
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"Women (Mostly) tend to be more: Romantic, Selfless, Honest, Emotional, Devoted, Sincere, Committed, Mature, Wise Educated, Faithful, Spiritual, Versatile, Smart, Sacrificial, Warm and all the rest of good qualities."

I know men with these qualities and women without them..so it all depends on the person I think.

February 7, 2005
5:49 pm
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sewunique
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Well if my mother had been all of these qualities and my step father not the sensitive one, perhaps I wouldn't have found it necessaary to be here with the problems I have. I do not remember my mom hugging me and saying I love you. But she would always take it when it came from us kids when trying to gain her love or approval.

But if you want to generalize; men are with feelings, caring, loving, more logical, the breadwinner or protector, and now I know my descriptions are goiong to gain some hoot that is not necessarily so!

Even tho' I see women will ask for directions more readily than men. Nope, that iss not so either, I have known men to ask for directions too.

February 8, 2005
2:23 pm
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Worried_Dad
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I once heard that a sign of maturity in a person is when they begin to feel a deep need, a hunger for feedback.

February 9, 2005
12:27 am
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SweetAmanda
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Other signs of maturity

Being able to take the good, leave the rest.

Stopping when you're ahead

Saying, "I don't know"

Admitting when you're wrong

When you realize that it's not about you

And when you come to know that these lessons have to be relearned all throughout life, there is no destination.

February 9, 2005
3:43 am
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sewunique
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Twinks,

Could you please explain your last post? To whom were you referring to? I am beginning to think perhaps I need to rewrite my post, or taken more time with it? Geez....I am a bit confused...Sew

February 9, 2005
3:45 am
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sewunique
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Come to think of it, WD's post was a bit obscure as well.

February 9, 2005
7:48 am
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SweetAmanda
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sew,

I don't know. I mean, I'm not twinks. I'm not WD either!

But I think I know where you're coming from... Maybe.

I don't want to sit here and makes guesses. Why?

LOL Well, because #1 I don't want to get mauled! (though I *hope* you all care for me)

And #2 I don't want to say anything too presumptuous that would hurt any feelings.

But on the other hand, sometimes being right out and open can save lots of hurt.

That's why we are all at this site in the first place, right?

Why would we want to get back into those kind of relationships, albeit unknowingly, within AAC?

Maybe I am far off base. Who knows?

Amanda

February 9, 2005
10:47 am
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sewunique
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Amanda,

Goodness, I did not mean anything by what you said! Perhaps there is more here than meets the eye? Maybe coming from another thread, who knows? Just trying to be strong and asking straight out. Otherwise, if I take it personally and it's not me, well, then I sit and let it bother me. Just asking. Stretch and grow, that's what I am trying to do and asking straight out...Sew

February 9, 2005
11:23 am
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Worried_Dad
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I certainly was not referring to any person here--I was just tossing a (good) one loner about the subject of maturity.

And this is interesting so far.

February 9, 2005
11:39 am
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Cici
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I dunno, I'm pretty dern emotionally immature. and I'm a chick.

February 9, 2005
1:08 pm
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Juanita
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I think a sign of maturity is one's ability to be open minded. To think before you act. Remember that other people have thoughts and emotions like you do.

Do you remember Kenny Roger's song "The Gambler" (hehe)

You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them;

know when to walk away, know when to run ....

(Lord, I wished I remembered the rest!)

AND, AND, AND - for me??

Guns-N-Roses "HAVE A LITTLE PATIENCE"

Oh boy - I'm on a musical bed today... from Kenny Rogers to Guns-N-Roses! Bet that makes me "mature" if in AGE alone!

February 9, 2005
1:24 pm
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Juanita
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PS - maturity is being able to control your emotions!

(I have a 58 yr old co-worker who throws temper fits like a child.)

and PPS - I remember Lawrence Welk too! (oh, save me, tell me I'm NOT that OLD!)

February 9, 2005
1:50 pm
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bel
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I think this is fun and interesting!

February 9, 2005
1:51 pm
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bel
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Another thought...........is this how mountains are made out of molehills?

February 9, 2005
1:51 pm
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Cici
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maybe i'm just a gay man trapped in a woman's body and that's why i'm so guy-ish. hahaha

February 9, 2005
4:44 pm
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sewunique
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At first, I thought; this is about me, my post. Geez....am I codependent or what???

Then a couple days later, I thought it was Twinks and WD going at a rowe with each other, from the other thread. Now Twinks, you said to WD;

...(maturity is) "when a person begins to find the ability to provide the feedback that another person expects from them."

So, I thought that perhaps this was your way of saying to WD, that he did not answer your question from the other thread. Perhaps from your subconcious? Saying this with a smile, of course.

Then again, after reading WD's post;

(maturity is)..." is when they begin to feel a deep need, a hunger for feedback." Could this be a subconcious gesture to Twinks need for WD to respond to her thread?

This is getting very interesting, indeed.

Mountains out of molehills....

Twinks, if I said 'men are' that is too general. Now ' men should be' that appears quite judgemental. But I can change it to: 'some men are know to have these qualities.' I feel that leaves it more open ended.

This thread is wide open and we could go on for days trying to find the differences and particulars about men and women.

February 9, 2005
7:06 pm
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Rasputin
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Hi All,

Thank you all for your feedback.

The purpose for this thread is to encourage progress, awareness, education, guidance and growth.

Afterall, that's why are come here on this lovely website.

I mentioned in my thread (Mostly) that means the majority, not all Men/Women.

However, it was mostly noticed that these negative patterns where (mostly applicable on men).

Otherwise could you tell me why is the majority of us here are females not males?

Is it not because we are more known to be more communicative, articulate, expressive than men?

Is it not also because we are more so and so and so the list goes on and on...

The Crucial Question I would like to ask now is:

"How can we empower our men(Boyfriend,fiance,husband,son,malefriend) to become more mature without making them self-conscious?"

I hope and pray I will have inputs from males/females on this website, even though the number of males is scarce!

Thank you!

February 9, 2005
7:27 pm
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Worried_Dad
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"Why does it take long time for men to become mature, wise and grow up whereas women tend to be born with it. Women seem to have it as an innate trait??? "

"Is it not because we are more known to be more communicative, articulate, expressive than men? "

I believe it is known that girls tend to mature socially before boys.

As far as women being "born with" wisdom? That's just silly.

And I'm not sure I agree with your second statement either. Certainly doesn't hold true in my circles.

Now men are conditioned to less expressive of their emotions than women.

As to which gender has the superior approach, I guess that's a matter of opinion. Remember the song "Why can't a woman be more like a man?" I'm sure there are some guys that wish women were less expressive of their emotions--or at least steadier in that expression.

As for how do you help someone be more mature, or develop any desirable traits....I think the key is socialization. Actually living in the companionship of people who teach those traits by their example--that's what does the trick.

February 9, 2005
9:22 pm
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on my way
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sorry...couldn't resist on this thread ;-}

WOMEN'S REVENGE
>
>"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
>purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet. I noticed a remote control for a
>television set in her purse.
>
>"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
>
>"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I
>figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
>=======================================
>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
>
>(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
>
>I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can
>take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh,
>
>rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
>
>=======================================
>MARRIAGE SEMINAR
>
>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his
>wife Grace listened to the instructor,
>
>"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important
>to each other."
>
>He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
>
>Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
>Pillsbury, isn't it?
>
>The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
>
>=======================================
>
>This one gets five stars!!!!!!!!
>
>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
>
>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales
>girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is
>looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct
>aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a
>ball of string on the counter.
>
>She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
>your wife?
>
>He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the
>store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of
>tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So,
>I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.
>
>=======================================
>WIFE VS. HUSBAND
>
>A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
>earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
>concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and
>pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
>
>"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>
>=======================================
>WORDS
>
>A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
>day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
>
>The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
>everything to men...
>
>The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
>
>=========================================================
>CREATION
>
>A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and
>so beautiful all at the same time.
>
> " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
>would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
>you!
>
>=======================================
>WHO DOES WHAT (this one is great)
>
>A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee
>each morning.
>
>The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
>don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
>
>The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should
>do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
>
>Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
>the man should do the coffee."
>
>Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible,
>and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
>that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

February 9, 2005
10:15 pm
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Rasputin
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Dear on my way,

Thank you sooooooooo much for those lovely hilarious jokes. They really made me laugh a lot!

I hope men on this site did not take these things personally.

I also hope some other new men will show up on this thread and express their opinions.

Warm regards sweetie!

February 10, 2005
8:42 am
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SweetAmanda
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(((Hugs))) I love all of you! *In a totally online, AAC type of way*

Special note to sew:

I do that too. I sit here and wonder about secret societies, ulterior motives and hidden agendas/messages in what people are saying. It's crazy. LOL I'm not saying that you are crazy! It's just that if I let myself go, I think I will honestly go mad. =)

In the end I think it's about me not wanting to seem or look foolish to anyone.

But there is nothing I can do to stop that. I cannot control the way other people think about me, you know?

Take what you want and leave the rest.

And I think it comes from being in relationships where that was what we had to do to stay safe: always second-guess the other's motives. Not just in a romantic relationship, but a family or friend one too.

Oh, and when I used to get high I'd get ultra-sensitive to that kind of stuff.

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