Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

No permission to create posts
sp_TopicIcon
MamaC et al..Regarding support for Suicidal People
December 28, 2005
7:43 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Let's start here:

It is in poor taste, unproductive, and not exactly in the spirit of our guidelines to with each other on threads about very serious issues like suicide. I think the suicidal poster can benefit from hearing many viewpoints, but for heaven's sake, let's not confuse arguments about psychology with support!

December 28, 2005
7:49 pm
Avatar
lollipop3
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

huh?

December 28, 2005
7:50 pm
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am Mamabear, not MamaC, let's clear that up in the first place.

In the second place, I could not, and would not allow the last post that DS saw to be thewall's "tough love" that seemed to me more like a judgement and attack.

WD, you and I have posted before, and I think we have a connection. I see your point about not arguing on DS's support thread, but in the guidlines, it says that we should not form a new thread, but instead talk assertively on the thread we were on. That is why I chose to stay on that thread.

December 28, 2005
7:51 pm
Avatar
DoTheyNetwork
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good Point......

December 28, 2005
7:53 pm
Avatar
lollipop3
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ok....I saw the thread...I get it now.

Lolli

December 28, 2005
7:54 pm
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

LOL, Lolli.

I am glad you are here. I have missed you.

Thanks DTN, I was trying to do what was right, I always (I really should say almost always 🙂 do)

December 28, 2005
7:58 pm
Avatar
lollipop3
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((mamabear)))

December 28, 2005
8:07 pm
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thanks lolli, I need a hug or twenty today

December 28, 2005
8:20 pm
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

BTW,

How do you write in italics on these boards?

LOL I can't even work an electric can opener if you want to know the truth

December 28, 2005
8:21 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ok, so I have not read the post yet. Can somebody tell me where it is?

And hey, mamabear. we are gonna have to do something to distinguish between us. lol. I don't need anymore coal rakings than I get myself into. 🙂 mamaB mamaC ?

December 28, 2005
8:54 pm
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

lol, I thought this thread would get your attention, and yes I know I should have been more careful in choosing a nickname when I came here, but you only get one shot, right, and when I found out there was another mama, it was too late! Anyway, I like my nickname, it suits me.

Yes, I get raked over the coals too, but I am good at it!

The thread is by depressionsucks78 and it is something like : help, I tried to kill myself again or close to that

Love and hugs,
Mamabear

December 28, 2005
9:26 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh mamaB not complaining about your nickname. I like it too. Suits you.

My daughter chose mine for me. I've been called cinnamon since I was

December 28, 2005
9:28 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh mamaB not complaining about your nickname. I like it too. Suits you.

My daughter chose mine for me. I've been called cinnamon since I was 14 so she just added the mama part. I like my name too. I'm always surrounded by kids... my own and whomever else. Mine suits me too.

Good to meet you. I think we've talked a time or two but not much. lol maybe we should be mamaBBBBBBB and mamaCCCCCC... think that would help? NOT. just kiddin. WD made an honest mistake so I'll not slap his hands this time.

Take care & hugs back atcha

December 28, 2005
9:43 pm
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Maybe at the end of our posting, I should write mama B E A R and you should write mama C I N N A M O N so people will notice.

Really I don't care as long as I get it when people are talking to me. Or not to me.

anyway, my head hurts

December 28, 2005
10:18 pm
Avatar
thewall
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have worked with borderline patients on a psych ward for 10 yrs. She is a borderline. Ask her. She has told us this on here before as well.

Thats not the point though. What is the point is that she needs help...needs to be upfront with her therapist and psychiatrist, which she has not been bc she doesnt want to be admitted. Shes admitted to hiding things from them. She needs to start listening to them and telling them everything.Otherwise she will be forver stuck.

Shes also making poor choices, using poor coping skills when she knows which ones are healthy. She has admitted to being in therapy for awhile so she knows which ones to use, yet she continues to choose the self harm.

I'm done with this discussion bc we are loosing sight of the purpose. When helping someone, I dont tell them what they want to hear, I tell them what they need to hear. I wouldnt be a very good psych worker otherwise. But if she truely wants to move forward, she needs to be upfront with her therapist and use the skills she was taught.

Sounds harsh and many wont understand that, I know, but I do know what I am doing.

thewall

December 28, 2005
11:13 pm
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

okay the wall,
Thanks for clarifying,I see your point more now, but maybe it is your tone or the way you come off. Say what your message is without being so harsh. Nobody wants to hear someone telling them to "get a life". That sounds so rude. How about, finds some hobbies that you enjoy, go out and find something that interests you, etc instead of just "get off your tail" and get a life.

The tone is what was the worst thing, not the actual message. I restate my belief that tough love should be served with "LOVE" by someone who "LOVES".

See my point. You don't want to push someone too far. I have heard too many stories where someone tried to kill themselves several times and didn't succeed, and instead of people responding to an obvious cry for help with compassion, reacted in a different way and then when the hurting person actually did go through with suicide it comes as a complete shock because everyone just assumed it was an attention seeking ploy.

December 29, 2005
12:15 am
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Mamabear,
Sorry about making error about your name….I claim emotion-driven typo and plead your forgiveness…
Mamabear, in truth I do not have any problem with what you said on the other thread—you were smack ban right on the money.

December 29, 2005
12:16 am
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

In response to a person’s suicide attempt,
Thewall wrote :“If you don't like those kinds of hospitals then stop cutting, burning and hurting yourself. You know exactly what you are doing and you know exactly what will come of it if you do it, (hosp) so stop playing games.
I hope you decide to get better by being more open with your and therapist, and psychiatrist instead of continueing to play games with them and with yourself.
You are choosing to stay stuck in your depression and in the way life is. Yes, it is a choice you are making. Get a real life bc that is no way to live. Stop hurting yourself and get a life...choose life.
No one can help you but you. No amt of dr or shrinks or therapists. YOU are the only one who can decide what you want out of life. You are the only one who can get yourself unstuck. You are the only one who can not only listen to what your therapist has to say but actually put it into practice for yourself.
So again, get off your tailbone and get busy living.
This attention seeking behavior has got to stop. There are other healthier ways ofgetting attn. You know what they are. You have been in therapy long enough to know what to do in place of the cutting, burning, self harm stuff. Now go do it. Its all up to you....good luck

And when someone suggested thewall was to harsh, thewall wrote:
“Mamabear, If you dealt with as many borderlines as I have, you would understand. It does no good to coddle them. This is an area where I have a lot of experience.
Its called tough love. Trust me on this one.
Sorry you don’t understand what I am doing. You would need alot of experience professionally in this area to understand this.”

December 29, 2005
12:59 am
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thewall,

There are parts of what you say I agree with, but I don't see that you actually know DS well enough to be using a tough love approach.

You have said "I have worked with borderline patients on a psych ward for 10 yrs."

Please describe your education, training, certification, and the job title under which you "work with" these patients.

If you are a helping professional, then you surely have training in therapeutic communication.Compassion and acceptance and taking people at their word are part of therapeutic communication.

Telling people "what they neeed to hear" is fine. But there is also such a thing as drawing people out, building rapport, establishing trust.

I don't think that your training suggests that there is a single approach to be taken with all "borderline" patients, and to my knowledge, "tough love" is not the primary suggested therapeutic approach for those patients. Furthermore, I don't think it has really been established that that is really DS' problem, whatever she/he has to say about it. It is very hard for a trained psychiatrist to diagnose people who have been admitted...it is close to impossible to diagnose people online.

I understand that dealing with depressed people can be very, very frustrating, and it is especially alarming when they are behaving in self-destructive ways. Really, I understand.

But we do have an online culture to protect here, and when we are dealing with people we hardly know, it is always better to err on the side of caution and stick close to our guidelines.

December 29, 2005
1:00 am
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

To the two Mamas...

We could call you MC and MB.....:)) Hee hee.

December 29, 2005
1:45 am
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'll stick with mamabear, thank you.

And once again, thanks WD for articulating in a way that I could not. That was my point and then some.

But will thewall even see it? I wonder...and I truly hope so.

December 29, 2005
10:57 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

mamabear....

I vote we keep our names since we both like them and they suit us and we buy Worried Dad a new pair of glasses. 😉 What do ya think?

HI WD 🙂

January 1, 2006
7:35 pm
Avatar
mamabear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, I don't think that would work, considering that he is not the only one who has done it and I don't have enough money to go around buying glasses for people. Those darn things are just too expensive.

Guess we'll just have to learn to infer which one of us is being addressed. I guess it is our problem and not theirs.

Beside, my name gets mixed up in real life too, and I am used to dealing with that, I answer to what I am called (assuming it is respectful and unintentional 🙂 )

still don't know how WD wrote in italics...one of these days.

Also don't know what STBX means, and I have seen that a few times on this site.

January 1, 2006
7:55 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

mamaB

STBX = soon to be ex

I too am used to answering to the wrong name. My sis and I look a bit alike so when I am called by her name I just answer and when she is called by my name she goes w/ it. lol I stood in the grocery one day and "as her" talked to this guy for over 10 minutes. Told her I was terribly tempted to ask him out, but then that would not be totally fair would it.

Hope you had a good Christmas and New Year. 🙂

Oh, as the the italics... there is a thread that showed us all that, but I failed. Even went to school and failed. I think it's here on libs. If I remember will let you know.

January 1, 2006
9:48 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

HI MamaC:::

not meaning to tread on your thread..
ha..

But i was just stopping in to say, ive come back, had some time to get over my dilemma, I miss you!!

Happy New year!!

Ive got alot to deal with, but i cant let this plcae go, i need it to get by, even if my conselor says no..

I hope all is well..

Sorry to but on your thread, just miss u..
was letting you know im ok.

Love kasie

No permission to create posts
Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
55 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 108548

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38531

Posts: 714172

Newest Members:

CHIRPfwr, Hahatone_Rus, davidwcbbq, Tammyanose, Prohortothe, KitchenAidqdp

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer