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mama, free, anyone i need help
November 29, 2006
12:09 am
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abbiegrrl
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Hi, all;
New here, but this thread is so familiar. In fact, Kasie, I called mine "satan". GMTA.
I am in In. if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.
abbie

November 29, 2006
12:30 am
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mamacinnamon
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abbiegrrl:

Nice to meet you. We can always use help. It takes all uf us watchin over each other to make it happen.

Are you still w/ your abuser? If not how long gone? Would you care to share a bit about yourself? So we can get a better idea of who you are.

November 29, 2006
1:11 pm
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kasie919
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Hey mama,

I havent been online lately, my dsl service was turned off, i couldnt afford it. I will try to be back on sometime next week i guess,

right now im at work, im so sick to my stomache, why do i feel positive one day then the next i ffeel scaired to death? i havent gone to the lawyers yet, although she had to rescheduale, im worried,

I can fiel for legal seperation now, its been 3 months, i dont have sny time off until next week, im hoping that we can get togheter then..

Im just tired, i dont know how much longer i can hang on, everything is behind, no support, excuse after excuse, what can i do??

I keep going through the motions of the day, but i know im failing, what can i do?

mama, how can i keep going? christmas is around the corner, i have no money, no family, no friends here, lucifer will make me look terrible, i just know it, ..im so stupid, i have to realise he is better than i am, maybe thats what GOd is telling me all along...

maybe i shouldjust give in, maybe my son would be better off....

gota go now, been crying way to much today...

I love all of you here..

Kasie

November 29, 2006
4:07 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Kasie kasie

Having a down day I see. We have those ya know. It's ok. It's just part of life. So girl I'm givin you that kick in the butt my friend always gave me. Ready?

Ok, Kasie, ya know I love you. You know I have only your best interest at heart. So, lets stop this pity party and get back on track. Cry, yes this is good. But him better than you? Are you NUTS? Him better for little man than you? Need a bop upside the head the shake a little sense into those marbles? NO NO NO he is and will never be better than you or better for little man. Say it again and we'll have to make you start writing it so you can see it in black and white. 100 times. "Weenie is not better than me. Little man needs his mom not to be abused." Better get lots of paper and pencils on hand.

Now. lets work on the problems here. Get your butt to the attorney and file for that separation agreement. You can ask for child support thru that and the judge will sign it. Also get that protection order kasie. You need it. Specially after he finds out you filed. God forbid he beat you to the punch coz he might get to retain custody of little man till the proceedings are finished.

As for moving to another state... You may need permission from the court to move out of state. This is because once DSS is involved or you file for Separation or Divorce then little man technically becomes a ward of that state. Check w/ your lawyer on this. They usually let you move, but I think they have to ok it.

Christmas... not a big problem honey. Just tell little man that this year you are gonna start a new tradition and that is of making our gifts to give from our heart. Ideas... make photo cover for lttle man's school picures. Do the jar w/ the dry ingredients to your favorite cookie recipe and then type or write the instructions for mixing and baking and put a pretty decoration on the jar. There are tons of ideas.

Now, I've typed enough and need to rest. YOU cry, grieve for part of today and then get back up on that narrow path you must follow now. YOU will be ok. YOU are doing great. Honey you are a survivor, you will persevere. I have faith in you.

November 29, 2006
10:09 pm
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armyleo
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(((Kasie)))

Kasie please be strong...

November 30, 2006
1:18 am
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free
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Hi Kassie!

Yeah, those down days are the worst.

Kassie, you have to make a budget and stick to it. The budget has to be realistic. Start off by making a budget for next payday. Here is the way I learned to live:

For about three years, I had no cable T.V., and ya know- those three years my kids became the best readers. I had dial-up internet- you can get it for 9.99 per month, and use only the most basic phone service- don't need long distance. It's probably on your cell. Heck, I didn't even have a cell phone for what- 5 years. Did dishes by hand. Shopped only the specials at the grocery store, always cut coupons, made a weekly menu from the weekly ads. Fast food was out until they came up with the dollar menu. Shop thrift stores for clothes (I still do!)- it's a fun outing. Put another blanket on the bed and leave the heater off- it's good for the health, and- I'd turn it on for about 10 mins in the morning to take the chill off before the kids got up. Carpool, walk, or get a bus pass versus drive- whenever possible. Change your light bulbs to 40W and take out every other bulb in the house. Only throw clothes in the laundry if they're dirty- ya know- the bath towel: hang it up to dry, the jeans: throw them over a chair- that kind of thing. Recycle cans and bottles. This kind of stuff became a way of life for me- it was a tremendous change from married life. Every penny counts now, and adds up.

You have to make a budget- you're over budget when things get shut off. Now I did learn this- in California, my electricity, water and gas can't be turned off if I call and tell them that I have minor children in the house and need to set up a payment plan so it does not get shut off. If ya tell them you have minor children in the house, they can't shut those utilities off without a court order. so check that out- kuz months like christmas- guess what. I didnt' pay those bills, and would call when I got a shut off notice.

If you owe on credit cards, pay your household bills first and go grocery shopping. If you can't pay the credit cards, oh well. I went bankrupt. It sucked. But I always had food, clothes, and a home for my kids. I didn't get child support for almost 7 months. a realistic support check didn't come for a year and a half. So don't count on it. He's not gonna give it to you willingly, and if he does, he'll yank it as fast as he gives it.

You gotta make it on your own Kassie. Giving up isn't the way. Do what you have to do for your son. No need to feel sorry for yourself- you're doing fine.

Hang in there.

free

November 30, 2006
1:44 am
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Zinnie
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Kasie,

Sorry you are having a down day - but, for the sake of your little guy? Snap out of it!

Sorry to be so blunt, but, do NOT let lucifer win. You cannot let this man raise your son.

Make a realistic plan and stick to it. Find out the above in your state like Free did. If you have to make payment arrangements, do so.

How old is the little one? I forget - but Christmas? Do what you can afford - go to the dollar store - get lot's of little things that you can wrap. For most little kids it is more fun to have tons of stuff to open vs. what it actually is.

Z.

November 30, 2006
1:37 pm
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armyleo
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(((Kasie)))

November 30, 2006
9:44 pm
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free
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Checkin in on ya Kassie.

Hope today was a better day.

Hey- how about Toys for Tots? Can you get in on that? I give to 'em every year. Wish I could just send it to you! 🙂

free

November 30, 2006
9:48 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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kasie,

A lot of local churches around here are willing to help to. We did that for two or three years. It was VERY helpful. At least that way, your little man will still have a smile, that you are so wanting to see on Christmas morning....Most important though Kasie, he has his mommy. And that means more than any gift he can open. It might not seem like it sweetie, but that is truth.

Thinking of you, and wishing that i could help in some way.

Mich

December 1, 2006
12:27 am
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armyleo
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Kasie,

Please tell us how you are doing...

I keep logging on to see if you popped up...

ArmyAngel

December 1, 2006
12:42 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hey Armyangel:

How are you doin? You've been on my mind lately.

December 1, 2006
12:42 am
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free
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How are you doing army?

free

December 1, 2006
12:49 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hey free:

Good to see you. Hope your evening is goin well for ya. 🙂

December 1, 2006
12:53 am
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bevdee
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Army

Now you got three of us wonderin about you!!

December 1, 2006
12:56 am
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armyleo
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(((Mamacin)))

(((Free)))

(((Bevdee)))

December 1, 2006
12:59 am
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mamacinnamon
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Talk to us Army. Please tell us how you are and have been doin the last few days. we care honey.

December 1, 2006
1:03 am
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bevdee
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hey girl!!

December 1, 2006
1:11 am
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armyleo
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I spent alnost 1/2 hr, riting on my thread, and I lost eveythi g.

I hate the machine...not writing nay more, can't writ e anymore too hard.

he's home anyways it's 10:00pm

December 1, 2006
1:16 am
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mamacinnamon
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Army:

I have a hard time w/ writing coz my fingers don't do as my head tells them too. There are many many times I have written pages and then to just lose it all. Here's what I do. I write in notebook or in wordpad and then I copy/paste. That way I have not lost all the hard work I have put forth.

If he's home honey you be careful. I so hate seeing you there w/ him around just waiting for a reason to explode.

Be safe honey.

(((holding you close as always)))

December 1, 2006
1:17 am
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armyleo
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not okay...

December 1, 2006
1:18 am
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bevdee
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Army did you say he is home? What do you mean when you say not ok?

December 1, 2006
1:26 am
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mamacinnamon
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(((awww )))

Please honey, don't take any risks. You are to smart and precious to be hurt. Save your risk taking till you need it.

December 1, 2006
9:25 am
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kasie919
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Army,

IM here in and out, not really much of help lately, im sorry, ive turned off the pc at home, as well as phone service, Im plaing a budget, like free has said.

i have my cell phone, its heaper than a home phone, when im able i will turn on the pc again, i can write from work .

Im sorry things are tough for you as well, we will be ok i know someday we will see the light others have seen...

Love kasie

December 1, 2006
10:16 am
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kasie919
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Mama and Free:

Im over feeling sorry for myself, its so very hard these days, i feel positive one day and the next i just want to disspapear..

I finally got the tree, up and decorated, took me 4 days, my heart isnt in it..

Im gona talk to the church, maybe united way, im not sure..

Ive made plans to budget out, it just doesnt seem to be enough money, im looking for a job to do from home at nights,

Free: I do all those things you suggested already, im not worried about the electric or water, i can pay those bills easy, its the school, the truck, insurance etc...

lucifer has offered(im sure with a motive) to find a way fro us to move back home, ha i wonder why,

IM not sure if i will ever get it..

Thanks for being here, im sorry im such a bother these days..

Love kasie

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